Comments on: An Open Letter to Assos

By: Janet

Janet — Sat, 13 May 2006 22:01:49 +0000

Hilarious! And it seems you touched a little Eurotrash nerve there, huh? Priceless.

By: D

Wed, 14 Dec 2005 16:47:33 +0000

HiUgh leave the guy alone he has many points, to many to be ignored or even laughed at although i found this very funny and true. I guess ill go on and piss some of you off a little more because this is what im seeing, i will offer up WHY assos can do this because of cycling mentaility in general in USA. Cycling i have now done for 20 years. THis means i was 12 years old in 1985 when i rode my first century, I have raced and I have been around the cycling wrold a long time. I love cycling but I dont care much for cyclist themselves and this whole article and the people who have responded are prime reason’sFirst off Assos is god aweful stupid expensive and have ALWAYS been this way since i came across them in the late 80s. No one carries them but retail catalogs because most stores cant sell assos to cyclist who ride daily or ever ride at all cos it cost to damn much.I can think of many brands that are nice, I personally like nalini, its good stuff, its not the most cheap you can buy..the chamois is excellent and they last, the weight of lycra in thier shorts is ideal to me.. The point this man was making or one of them I think is how cycling is marketed to the USA and what a farce it all is. We have lance armstrong who wins the tour de france more than anyone…but does anyone in this country give 2 shits about it? hell no..but i bet you he and miss crows feet break up tommorow it will net more coverage than all his wins together…right there shows the mentality of this country when it comes to cycling, (no one cares) so they dont need to really market it for that small portion who KNOWS thier cycling.The other thing I cant stand in atleast american cycling, and there is some one on here who calims to be atleast a hybrid american with euro back ground… Cycling in the USA for those of us who love it and do it (alot) cost alot of money, its based in that and always has been. But Ive always found in USA it was the spoiled drs and lawyers kids who ride and thats the sort of people involved in cycling and that is what seems to be made up of alot of cycling clubs. Its been that way for the past 20 years ive been riding. In eueope you can have some guy come from belgium and his parents have nothing but the town comes together and takes these riders, raises up money for them and suports them to ride And then I think there is a tremendous support and honour to that. Where as in americahn cycling most of the kids (not all of them) but alot of them are privleged and they dont have to be a cyclist, they can do what they want. In europe cycling is for everone because gas there and everything is much more than USA and also its part of the culture there to be more active and ride around. Its a everyman’s sport in europe its there for anyone who wants it, its not like that in USA, In this country, some one who lives 4 blocks away from a 7-11 will spend 20 grand on a car just to drive 4 blocks to buy cigs. The USCF (united states cycling federation) does nothing for inner city kids or anyone who isnt (white)..the whole cycling take on this country is upper class and rasist, and i feel its this way from the ground up, perhaps this is how assos can do such add’s because they can sell to such narrow types? I dont think it sets a good example and it churns out the types of cyclist that are bitchy about other riders and equipment and people’s weight, ive never seen so many men act like a bunch of fucktards when it comes to cycling, if i did not love cycling i sure wouldnt be involved in it…i love the bike but i dont love the people…WHy dont you leave this guy alone talking about assos uh? I think he has a point about how OFF the cycling market is in this country and i thought id just add a little more to it too….he attacks assos for being stupid with thier advertsing and wording and then you see a lashing from bitchy riders, whinny over something that has nothing to do with them, very typical.Sadly our sport at the higher leval is filled with these types, one tracked minded, one sided and about as boiring as a dead swamp chigger. None of thise so called riders do a damn thing to promote cycling in this country or give a shit to pass anythying down to other riders. THey turn every club ride into a race and are egotistical, for the non cycling world i dont think this looks very much like a welcome mat. No one gets together with organizations and say hey, lets have a city race where eveyrone can be a part of this..cycling is not a celebration in this country, its a fucking country club. No sadly the cycling world you have to be suited out with a 13 pound climbing machine in the 7000$ price range, a follower atitude (because ive determinded that most of these sorts of cyclist cant think for themselves) and just a whiff of insecurity coverd by a mask of arrogance..poof done. So in short perhaps the article was reaching out to those people who had such a problem with this guys feelings for assos…so i guess if you defend that sort of thing and your backing of defence is silly, why dont you ask yourself what you can do to promote cycling so its not this way…those people on here who are cyclist will know what im talking about. If people are so pissed off with advertising and how cycling is then change how its being promoted by something you can do yourself in your own world. Some of you will ask, (what the hell does any of this have to do with Assos)… it has to do with cycling in this country is sold to the rich, in thier pockets and mentaility, if you are tired of cycling appealing to those sorts who have more money than sense you are not alone, im pretty bored with it all myself.D

By: Huw

Huw — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 09:20:32 +0000

And who said the German’s had no sense of humour.Lighten up Herr Doctor Lammler!

By: Unknown

Unknown — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 05:38:20 +0000

hello fatguy, I want to make it very clear that I do not follow your little pathetic, full time job website but happened ( go figure ) to end up on it. I write to you because the content of your page simply upsets me and all the people I have shown it to. I am just a little european ( although I have an american mother ) ex – elite rider who has been riding the bike before I could actually walk. My english is not perfect but I hope your comedian mastermind this time around might actually get the point. My bike was my playground and evolved into my tool of making a living. This lasted 3 years until I realized I will never win a tour de france and that there actually is an easier way of making a living then racing my bike. Now and for the last 16 years I ride the bike for quality of life reasons, because I love the bike, because the sport continuos to fascinate me, because I enjoy suffering, because it keeps my mind and body in shape, because the technology and evolution fascinates me, because it lets me get away from my “business day” and last but not least cardio reasons. Why I take the time to write to you is because the way you are talking about people and companies is completely out of line. Your sarcasm is not funny but instead embarrassing to the US cycling community that a so called "cyclist" can actually act the way you act. Why do you ride the bike ???? Take a piece of paper and write it down! I bet you started a few years ago because somebody told you that cycling is the best way to loose your fat ? You have a complete lack of cycling cultural background, never raced in your life ( except maybe on some children, mother, pension event ), knows nothing about the history of cycling, how it evolved, the industry, who were the actors ? The maximum level of suffer you have experienced on the bike equals having to skip a nice juicy dinner, isn’t it ? The disrespect you have shown in regards to Mr. Armstrong leaves me speechless. You are asking the guy "what have you done in your life ?", "It’s not easy to be fired?" etc. etc. ARE YOU FOR REAL or a comedian ? I am not an Armstrong fan and probably you don’t find many Armstrong fans in europe, o.k. but regardless of his personality the physical achievements ( clean or not clean does not matter anymore at that level ) is simply worth admiration and is earned respect. Why ? Well either you are a cyclist and you get it or you simply don’t get it. But if you don’t get it, then a little " fat nothing " should keep his mouth shut and instead of trying to be a comedian you should educate yourself in the matter. ASSOS ? Luxury Body ? Either you get it, or you don’t. Do you realize that it is this little Swiss company who made it possible in the first place ( although I am pretty sure this was not the company’s objective), for fat people like yourself to be able to stay on a bike for more then 2 hours by "inventing" total comfort cycling apparel over half a century ago and has revolutionized an entire industry?? The way you analyzed their ad simply shows that you are deeply perplexed. Deep in your mind you would love to have a luxury body ( this is the reason why YOU are riding the bicycle ), but when you look in the mirror all you see is the exact opposite ( regardless of how many kilos you loose ) of a luxury body. Then you would like to buy some Assos luxury body gear but you can’t afford it because you are sitting in front of your computer all day long trying to be a comedian. Then you had a little money left and were able to buy an ASSOS chamois creme, get a little glamour in your life; but not being cycling educated, you spalmed it on your balls instead of your butt and this created even more, additional turbulence in your little “genius mind”. I understand that writing might be a valve, a strategy to let go the frustration and complex ( others ride the bike ) you are facing in your life, but please, next time before you are using your webpage to do so – THINK ! People do actually read your crap.Don’t bather answering, I am not visiting your little paradise again, sincerely yours,Dr. Michael LämmlerPS I apologize for my euro english but writing my message to you in german would be pointless, wouldn’t ? Oh by the way, now I feel so much better, yes writing helps doesn’t it ?

By: Unknown

Unknown — Fri, 28 Oct 2005 05:37:17 +0000

hello fatguy, I want to make it very clear that I do not follow your little pathetic, full time job website but happened ( go figure ) to end up on it. I write to you because the content of your page simply upsets me and all the people I have shown it to. I am just a little european ( although I have an american mother ) ex – elite rider who has been riding the bike before I could actually walk. My english is not perfect but I hope your comedian mastermind this time around might actually get the point. My bike was my playground and evolved into my tool of making a living. This lasted 3 years until I realized I will never win a tour de france and that there actually is an easier way of making a living then racing my bike. Now and for the last 16 years I ride the bike for quality of life reasons, because I love the bike, because the sport continuos to fascinate me, because I enjoy suffering, because it keeps my mind and body in shape, because the technology and evolution fascinates me, because it lets me get away from my “business day” and last but not least cardio reasons. Why I take the time to write to you is because the way you are talking about people and companies is completely out of line. Your sarcasm is not funny but instead embarrassing to the US cycling community that a so called "cyclist" can actually act the way you act. Why do you ride the bike ???? Take a piece of paper and write it down! I bet you started a few years ago because somebody told you that cycling is the best way to loose your fat ? You have a complete lack of cycling cultural background, never raced in your life ( except maybe on some children, mother, pension event ), knows nothing about the history of cycling, how it evolved, the industry, who were the actors ? The maximum level of suffer you have experienced on the bike equals having to skip a nice juicy dinner, isn’t it ? The disrespect you have shown in regards to Mr. Armstrong leaves me speechless. You are asking the guy "what have you done in your life ?", "It’s not easy to be fired?" etc. etc. ARE YOU FOR REAL or a comedian ? I am not an Armstrong fan and probably you don’t find many Armstrong fans in europe, o.k. but regardless of his personality the physical achievements ( clean or not clean does not matter anymore at that level ) is simply worth admiration and is earned respect. Why ? Well either you are a cyclist and you get it or you simply don’t get it. But if you don’t get it, then a little " fat nothing " should keep his mouth shut and instead of trying to be a comedian you should educate yourself in the matter. ASSOS ? Luxury Body ? Either you get it, or you don’t. Do you realize that it is this little Swiss company who made it possible in the first place ( although I am pretty sure this was not the company’s objective), for fat people like yourself to be able to stay on a bike for more then 2 hours by "inventing" total comfort cycling apparel over half a century ago and has revolutionized an entire industry?? The way you analyzed their ad simply shows that you are deeply perplexed. Deep in your mind you would love to have a luxury body ( this is the reason why YOU are riding the bicycle ), but when you look in the mirror all you see is the exact opposite ( regardless of how many kilos you loose ) of a luxury body. Then you would like to buy some Assos luxury body gear but you can’t afford it because you are sitting in front of your computer all day long trying to be a comedian. Then you had a little money left and were able to buy an ASSOS chamois creme, get a little glamour in your life; but not being cycling educated, you spalmed it on your balls instead of your butt and this created even more, additional turbulence in your little “genius mind”. I understand that writing might be a valve, a strategy to let go the frustration and complex ( others ride the bike ) you are facing in your life, but please, next time before you are using your webpage to do so – THINK ! People do actually read your crap.Don’t bather answering, I am not visiting your little paradise again, sincerely yours,Dr. Michael LämmlerPS. I apologize for my euro english but writing my message to you in german would be pointless, wouldn’t ? Oh by the way, now I feel so much better, yes writing helps doesn’t it ?

By: Nicole

Nicole — Fri, 07 Oct 2005 15:51:27 +0000

Well I did take the time to thoroughly enjoy your true and intelligent analysis of this ad and company. However, it seems to me as if the ad accomplished about as much as it could have hoped for since it got you to visit their website…:)

By: Shawn

Shawn — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 20:41:47 +0000

love it!

By: Nichole

Nichole — Thu, 06 Oct 2005 19:58:57 +0000

"Assos is designed to give you the look, the style, the elegance & exclusivity. Assos enhances and makes you a luxury body!"Have you considered that perhaps this is a girdle for men?:-)

By: Unknown

Unknown — Mon, 03 Oct 2005 17:40:53 +0000

i almost snorted water out of my nose… and my co-workers now think i’m nuts since they turn around and see random pictures of some guy in tights.Otherwise, great post!

By: DM

DM — Sun, 02 Oct 2005 02:26:13 +0000

dear FC,i am enjoying your blog – and yes, the copy in this ad is stunningly bad.you do seem to come from an alarmingly talented family. i’m asking for one of your sister’s prints for christmas!just thought youmight like read my show offy cycling snippet in my 7 things thingy. http://spaces.msn.com/members/disinclinedmum/Blog/cns!1p5VaYDrmAJww-oopROW_dzg!149.entryit’s number 6 of 6.i’m far too tired to be witty. i’ll come back when i can be. or at least think i can be…cheers,c.