Comments on: Great Moments in Cycling: The Roller Derby

By: Unknown

Unknown — Sun, 27 Nov 2005 22:13:51 +0000

I’m with Botched – just stop pedaling already Fatty! But the skid/accelerate/rapid deceleration/ dismount cycle explains why I feel at home here in this comments section. Clearly, I’m in the presence of fellow dinosaurs, whose sensory receptors communicate only erratically, and slowly at that, with their brains. I find that instead of shooting off the rollers, I merelytip over, and the square frame on the rollers, coupled with the protruding square pegs (Kreitler – the Pain Inducer of Champions) will take one (or two if you are lucky) 90 degree chunks out of the shin nearest the torture device. A clean wound, if ever I’ve seen one. Best of all, since the rollers creep out your wife, who views their unnatural operation with the same disapproval that she’d view a hot, 22 year old, live-in, Brazilian au pair, you will experience the pain without crying out, without hollering, and with the appropriate British Public School stiff upper lip, lie back and think of England and all. "That noise was nothing, honey. Just dropped my water bottle, that’s all." You’ll probably even clean up the spatters of blood that drip on the floor as you hop into the laundry room, to wash your leg off in the laundry tub. The LBS is starting up thrice weekly roller derbies in a couple weeks and I’m still not sure about whether to take the rollers, or to pony up for a mag trainer. On the one hand, if I can pull off the "Have Mercy" Spinerval without crashing and wiping out the glass display case containing the high end gruppos, I’ll be considered a hero. On the other hand, the more likely option is I’ll have a huge and embarassing wipeout, which will also become legendary just not in the same way. Thoughts, anybody?

By: Stephen

Stephen — Sat, 26 Nov 2005 22:45:10 +0000

I actually got a visual on this one – still laughing out loud. For real, Out loud.NO one is going to be able to top this one. Ever.s.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 19:50:21 +0000

I’d have to agree that I find this a bit hard to believe. I used to ride rollers in the winter when I was in high school. I fell off the side a couple of times and nothing horrible happened.On the other hand, one of my friends decided he wanted to try the rollers one day. He got going pretty fast and then decided he wanted to stop. So he put on the brakes. The spinning wheels of the bike don’t have a lot of kinetic energy, but the rollers themselves are pretty heavy. So he put on the brakes and the spinning rollers shot him off backwards across my bedroom. It was pretty funny.As for the choice of entertainment while riding, mine was Emerson, Lake and Palmer’s "Brain Salad Surgery" album. I rode for 25 minutes, which was one side of the record. (It was 1977. CDs hadn’t been invented yet) That was enough to work up a good sweat.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 15:04:09 +0000

I have to agree with Botched. The mass of the spinning wheels would not be enough to propel the mass of the rider forward at an appreciable velocity, if you stop pedaling when falling off. Then again, I have no direct experience with rollers, using a trainer instead.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 14:03:39 +0000

Dear Fatty, I think you need to have your own line of bike clothing. I’d buy a "Fatty Rulz" jersey in a heartbeat.I ponder the sight of an overweight (it’s a darn shame you’re not bald) middle aged guy, his body crumpled into an entertainment center while Jackie Chan is kicking someone’s butt, all while covered in an unspeakable combination of Gu, Hammergel, and honey sticks. It would be an honor to wear one of your shirts, dude.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 13:02:04 +0000

Of the multiple things I do and am ashamed of, the worst is this: laughing at other people’s pain. Out loud. And long. Had that coffee cup been near my lips when you wrote that you were going 24mph after sliding off, the computer screen would be covered right now.On the plus side, my husband is attracted to that part of me that laughs at the misfortune of others. We are well-matched.As usual, wonderful wonderful wonderful writing.Kelly

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 04:09:37 +0000

I rode indoors on a CycleOps Fluid2 for TWO YEARS! I lived in Russia on a 5-acre compound on the middle of nowhere, doing US government contracting work. Not only were we more or less forbidden from going over the fence, but in no way was it any treat to do so.So I hooked up my bike, some coaching manuals, eventually a coach via email, and my downloadable heart rate monitor, and rode every day for two years.I got six-week vacations every four and a half months and rode myself sick on the roads out there, but in truth the best training I ever got was from the disciplined, direct, and deliberate hours I spent on a turbo trainer.Now I have rollers, and I live in New York. It’s kind of the same thing.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 03:55:23 +0000

One very early morning a few seasons ago I was on rollers watching Charlie’s Angels. They were driving down the street and suddenly pulled a u-turn. I pulled right with them. I didn’t fall off, but I sure woke up!

By: Sue

Sue — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 03:11:05 +0000

Wow. Have you guys tried not pedalling after you’ve fallen off the rollers?Botched

By: Christina

Christina — Wed, 23 Nov 2005 01:07:44 +0000

So funny! I can picture the whole scene.We have a trainer and I’ve ridden on it about 10 times. It’s too boring. I last 4 minutes before I’m hoping the 45 minute workout ends really, really soon. I tried watching action movies too, for all the same reasons, but it’s just not enough. Have a good thanksgiving, Fatty.-Beast Mom