http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/ It's like reality TV. Except it's real. And there's no TV. Fri, 04 Mar 2022 03:21:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503440 B-ballaGurl Thu, 15 Jun 2006 06:33:37 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503440 didnt know that farts could be that interesting... WOWY!!!!!!! didnt know that farts could be that interesting…
WOWY!!!!!!!

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503441 Stephanie Tue, 06 Jun 2006 15:58:40 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503441 Barry, i do apologize for even considering that anyone on this site would in fact be: 1. smelly 2. gross     However, if you ever came to my gym, you would understand that this is not a stereotype, but a fact.   For some reason, between the hours of 8-9pm, my gym is filled with men who do not really ascribe to hygene and sweat profusely.   So, once again i apologize for my over generalization of men.   Stephanie Barry,
i do apologize for even considering that anyone on this site would in fact be:
1. smelly
2. gross
 
 
However, if you ever came to my gym, you would understand that this is not a stereotype, but a fact.   For some reason, between the hours of 8-9pm, my gym is filled with men who do not really ascribe to hygene and sweat profusely.
 
So, once again i apologize for my over generalization of men.
 
Stephanie

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503442 Unknown Tue, 06 Jun 2006 14:48:21 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503442 From Katie:   > I'm a runner, and we suffer from the dreaded farts as well.   As well??  In my experience long distance runners leave cyclists for dead.  Slower speeds = less smell dissipation?  Or do the guys I run with just fart more?  With certain runners I always make sure that I’m on the upwind side on a long run, and a pace or two ahead of them.  This can give the impression that I’m really keen, resulting in ever increasing pace to the point of cardiac arrest.  But it is better to die of a heart attack than as a result of gas inhalation.   In fact I don’t think that I’ve ever noticed a fart either on a ride or packed into a station wagon with four team mates on the way back.  That probably confirms my newbie status as a cyclist.   P.S.  Like Dug, I don’t fart. From Katie:
 
> I’m a runner, and we suffer from the dreaded farts as well.
 
As well??  In my experience long distance runners leave cyclists for dead.  Slower speeds = less smell dissipation?  Or do the guys I run with just fart more?  With certain runners I always make sure that I’m on the upwind side on a long run, and a pace or two ahead of them.  This can give the impression that I’m really keen, resulting in ever increasing pace to the point of cardiac arrest.  But it is better to die of a heart attack than as a result of gas inhalation.
 
In fact I don’t think that I’ve ever noticed a fart either on a ride or packed into a station wagon with four team mates on the way back.  That probably confirms my newbie status as a cyclist.
 
P.S.  Like Dug, I don’t fart.

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503443 Andrew Mon, 05 Jun 2006 21:26:42 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503443 Dear Scatalogic Cyclist of Sulphur dioxide,   You better post again. It's getting funky around here. Dear Scatalogic Cyclist of Sulphur dioxide,
 
You better post again. It’s getting funky around here.

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503444 barry1021 Mon, 05 Jun 2006 20:38:50 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503444 -Find a treadmill in between two huge smelly gross guys.  If anyone else smells it, they definitly do not think that it's coming from you.-   Now wait one cotton pickin' minute here, Stephanie! We don't stand for this kind of totally inappropriate, sexist comment on this board. You are clearly implying that huge smelly gross guys are more likely to be blamed for a fart than a sweet demure young woman in matching workout clothes and headband. This is just the kind of sterotyping that I, as a huge smelly gross guy, have been fighting for years. Why do I have to get blamed for everything?? But what really fries my butt (notice the complimentary phrasing to the discussion at hand) is that you are clearly implying that it is a simple matter of course to find an available machine between two huge gross guys, i.e. and to wit, we are everywhere. First you seek to push the blame upon me, and then you minimize my uniqueness by saying I am a dime a dozen, metaphorically speaking. An ill wind bloweth here, I tell you. Besides, and I am capitalizing for effect here,  HOW DO WE KNOW YOU AND KATIE AREN'T HUGE SMELLY GROSS GALS?? Unless you are prepared to issue a picture-in Speedo forthwith to prove this supposition totally false, I would suggest you owe an apology to huge smelly gross guys everywhere.   B21 -Find a treadmill in between two huge smelly gross guys.  If anyone else smells it, they definitly do not think that it’s coming from you.-
 
Now wait one cotton pickin’ minute here, Stephanie! We don’t stand for this kind of totally inappropriate, sexist comment on this board. You are clearly implying that huge smelly gross guys are more likely to be blamed for a fart than a sweet demure young woman in matching workout clothes and headband. This is just the kind of sterotyping that I, as a huge smelly gross guy, have been fighting for years. Why do I have to get blamed for everything??
But what really fries my butt (notice the complimentary phrasing to the discussion at hand) is that you are clearly implying that it is a simple matter of course to find an available machine between two huge gross guys, i.e. and to wit, we are everywhere. First you seek to push the blame upon me, and then you minimize my uniqueness by saying I am a dime a dozen, metaphorically speaking. An ill wind bloweth here, I tell you. Besides, and I am capitalizing for effect here,  HOW DO WE KNOW YOU AND KATIE AREN’T HUGE SMELLY GROSS GALS?? Unless you are prepared to issue a picture-in Speedo forthwith to prove this supposition totally false, I would suggest you owe an apology to huge smelly gross guys everywhere.
 
B21

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503445 Stephanie Mon, 05 Jun 2006 19:59:13 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503445 Katie,   in the winter i'm stuck on a treadmill for long work outs... and have totally let one go and tried to pass it off on the person next to me.  However, here are a few things i've found that work best: 1. the treadmills and bikes at my gyms have personal fans, so i turn them up on high. 2. I usually try to situation myself under the air conditioning duct on longer runs... this way it disperses a lot easier. 3.  Find a treadmill in between two huge smelly gross guys.  If anyone else smells it, they definitly do not think that it's coming from you. Katie,
 
in the winter i’m stuck on a treadmill for long work outs… and have totally let one go and tried to pass it off on the person next to me.  However, here are a few things i’ve found that work best:
1. the treadmills and bikes at my gyms have personal fans, so i turn them up on high.
2. I usually try to situation myself under the air conditioning duct on longer runs… this way it disperses a lot easier.
3.  Find a treadmill in between two huge smelly gross guys.  If anyone else smells it, they definitly do not think that it’s coming from you.

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503446 Unknown Mon, 05 Jun 2006 17:13:03 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503446 but how can you let one fly in the middle of a crowded gym floor??!! Any suggestions?   Katie, I can't speak for Fatty, but what works for me in spin class is to rip one as loud and long as I can manage during the "standing climb" portion, and then start screaming at the geriatric lady next to me about it.  "Oh, you filthy old bag!  I can't believe you did that!  You pig!  Crap, I think I'm going to choke!"  The music is loud enough that it's hard to tell exactly where it came from, and the old girl is typically too broken up at that point to argue about it, and then everybody is sure she did it.    The bonus in this approach is that nobody will try to get there early to take your spinning cycle before the next class.  Or for that matter, to be anywhere near you during the class.  Which is fine, because if you're working as hard as you should be, you're sick of the complaints about your flying sweat from the recreational spinners who like to keep dry during the class.   Alternately, you can just sit in the back of the spin class and blame it on other people in the back row.  They never work hard and everybody else in the class is likely to take a huge ripping fart as just another back row maneuver to try to avoid hard work.  but how can you let one fly in the middle of a crowded gym floor??!! Any suggestions?
 
Katie, I can’t speak for Fatty, but what works for me in spin class is to rip one as loud and long as I can manage during the "standing climb" portion, and then start screaming at the geriatric lady next to me about it.  "Oh, you filthy old bag!  I can’t believe you did that!  You pig!  Crap, I think I’m going to choke!"  The music is loud enough that it’s hard to tell exactly where it came from, and the old girl is typically too broken up at that point to argue about it, and then everybody is sure she did it. 
 
The bonus in this approach is that nobody will try to get there early to take your spinning cycle before the next class.  Or for that matter, to be anywhere near you during the class.  Which is fine, because if you’re working as hard as you should be, you’re sick of the complaints about your flying sweat from the recreational spinners who like to keep dry during the class.
 
Alternately, you can just sit in the back of the spin class and blame it on other people in the back row.  They never work hard and everybody else in the class is likely to take a huge ripping fart as just another back row maneuver to try to avoid hard work. 

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503447 B-ballaGurl Mon, 05 Jun 2006 07:48:19 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503447 kewl...cool...kool... kewl…cool…kool…

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503448 Rick Mon, 05 Jun 2006 05:36:19 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503448 wow, i can't believe you wrote about farting. you get mad when we discuss the matter. in fact, you rank it up there with nose and ear hair and pebble-throwing while riding. are you ok, man? wow, i can’t believe you wrote about farting. you get mad when we discuss the matter. in fact, you rank it up there with nose and ear hair and pebble-throwing while riding. are you ok, man?

]]> http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze-2/comment-page-1/#comment-503449 Andrew Mon, 05 Jun 2006 00:53:13 +0000 http://fatcyclistspacesarchive.wordpress.com/2006/06/02/the-one-man-salute-moon-gas-tail-wind-the-gluteal-tuba-the-third-state-of-matter-chair-air-backdoor-breeze#comment-503449 Katie, I would suggest a "silent but deadly" release, then blame it on someone else. Katie, I would suggest a "silent but deadly" release, then blame it on someone else.

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