Comments on: Mugged

By: Katie

Katie — Sun, 22 Oct 2006 23:38:20 +0000

As a female who’s partner comes home with expensive crap most days of the week, I’ve learnt to get "selective memory". I will only remember he bought that stuff when I need to convince him that I need new gym gear. :)
And can anyone tell me how to type faster with a broken finger? Damned basketball.

By: BIg Mike In Oz

BIg Mike In Oz — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 05:20:40 +0000

KeepYerBag – What manly man in their right mind wants a body like Lance Armstrong? And what woman wants a man with a body like Lance either? I mean, really, he’s got one nut and a permanent frown. How do you package that so it sells (no you can’t wrap him in $100’s even though the real Lance could afford it).

By: Born4Lycra

Born4Lycra — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 03:55:51 +0000

Well here’s the update. Still married and still got the bike. I fessed up and was reminded by her response why I married her 24 years ago. Having said that there was some valuable advice given that may come in handy down the line and I thank you all. My daughter Dana keeps laughing at me with an evil chuckle so I assume Sal has plans for some balance later in the year. Ah well whats yin without yang. Oh yes by the way also as Sal has since pointed it’s a vento not a venta!
Cheers all.

By: mark

mark — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 03:23:30 +0000

A few years ago, I went to the store to get a new pair of running shorts and came home with new skis. I was scared to death that it would have some awful repurcussions. To my surprise, she didn’t really mind. However, because I went into the situation with such trepidation, I came out of it with a one year moratorium on purchasing any new gear. Had I gone in penitant but not grovelling, I think I could have avoided the moratorium. One year hence, moratorium was lifted, and I bought a new mountain bike. Unfortunately, I sold it four months later to buy an even better new mountain bike, which resulted in "no new bikes until you buy me a grand piano." Given that grand pianos cost as much as large SUVs or small houses, I’m glad I like the bikes I have.

I guess my point is to not go in with too much fear or you may end up worse off than you would have been. Just state the facts matter of factly (after delivering the flowers and while you’re giving the massage) and be ready with what you’re willing to do to make it up to her. But spending additional money before you know you need to may make matters worse.

Good luck, and be sure to let us know what happens.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Sat, 21 Oct 2006 00:00:17 +0000

I think your safest bet and most persuasive argument is to use the fitness / exercise angle. Every minute you’re on your bike is a minute you’re improving your fitness, right? Explain to her that you’ll be compelled to ride that fine set of wheels every chance you get and it won’t be long before you have the body of Lance Armstrong. If she raises a stink tell her you’ll trade it for a big screen TV and a recliner.

Or, you can hide it from her: A few years ago when I was living in an apartment, my upstairs neighbor hid his purchase of a SUV from his wife for several months. They both worked two jobs and were rarely in their apartment together. He could conveniently park the SUV anywhere in the complex–hidden in plain sight among dozens of other cars. She was none the wiser.

They both had the day off one July 4th, and she must have caught him coming or going in the unauthorized vehicle that day or the day before, because they had a fierce argument. She ripped into him up one side and down the other, threw every item in their apartment at him (including what sounded like four or five bowling balls based on the rattling thud in our apartment below) and finally kicked him out.

A couple days later the SUV was gone and he was back to driving his beat up old pickup, which he had kept and would occasionally move around as not to blow his cover.

KeepYerBag.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 23:32:35 +0000

I purchased a Pinarello about a year ago. I say "about" becuase on the one year anniversary of said purchase I will be reminded. The worst part is when my riding friends try to explain to her the deal I got on it. Did you know that Orbea is Spanish for "no more sex"?

By: bradley

bradley — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 23:23:24 +0000

Even if she doesn’t ride, run out and buy her a bike that at least looks as good as your new one. Bring it home and tell her you’ve always wanted to ride bikes with her and now she has no excuse, that you want to share your love of riding with the person you love most in this world. If she already rides, just make sure it’s an upgrade of some sort. If she’s like my wife, it’s more about how it looks than anything else (not that my wife rides a cruddy bike, but color was important–both of hers are kleins, silver, they match!). Then you can say, "Oh yeah, by the way, I got one too. if you’re getting a new bike, I figure it’s only fair I should get one too, to keep the marriage all even and such." The only lie will be of omission, that you bought her a bike to save the marriage because it’s worth that much to you, saving the marriage that is, not getting a new bike. Not worth so much that you wouldn’t not buy the bike in the first place mind you, that you wouldn’t even discuss it with her before hand. Noooooo, not that, but at least the marriage is worth trying to save after you’ve sinned so heinously. Then, well, maybe you should prepare for a dry spell, with lots of time to ride the new bike. If all else fails, you could return the bike, assuming you want to see the kids again.

By: Lofgrans

Lofgrans — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 22:34:10 +0000

First, my real advise:
Bring home some lovely flowers. They can’t cost much ’cause you just spent a ton, but they can’t be cut out of a yard because that’s cheap, something colorful and varied.
Give someone to watch the kids for the evening and give your wife the best massage you can possibly muster.
Here is where the advise that sounds good but won’t actually help you at all comes in:
Somewhere in the moments where she’s very relaxed and very grateful and just about to drift off you mention something about an investment- that is how my husband refers to it- and ideally she’ll be too blissful to argue about it and save it for tomorrow. With a bit of luck tomorrow she’ll have slept on it, decided that you are a man and prone to such idosyncrasies, and just roll her eyes and start asking you for a few more favors than usual which you of course will jump to fulfill as you know you’ve just been royally let off the hook.

That’s how it goes when Bob buys something new anyway. At least he works at a shop and gets wholesale so the rolling of the eyes and favors stage comes a little sooner.

Good luck!

P.S. Play very humble, grateful, and apologetic. Recognize your wife for the magnanamous Goddess that she is- this should go without saying.

By: barry1021

barry1021 — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 20:58:04 +0000

-So back to my original problem: how did this happen?-
Geez B4L, you were the ONLY one that didn’t see it coming!!! You might as well of had a sign flashing on your forehead "BUYER! BUYER"!
<>
Take a saw to the downtube of your old bike, don’t make it look like a clean cut. Then print out a copy of FC’s story about his frame failure at 50MPH. Make a good "honey, I could have DIED" speech. And NEVER show her the receipt.

By: Unknown

Unknown — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 20:57:34 +0000

Oh man. You are in for it! It will take some time, but she will eventually get over it. Your life will be hell until then, but it will pass. This reminds me of the time I bought an indoor bike. Due to a medical condition, it’s not safe for me to ride long distances outside. I was missing my endurance rides. At the bike store, I had an epiphany. They sell indoor bikes. Indoor bikes with power meters and heart rate monitors. Indoor bikes that mimic the riding position of my outdoor bike. Indoor bikes that you can hook up to your laptop and keep track of your training. This wonderful device would allow me to train to my heart’s content. Not the same as being outdoors, but certainly better than nothing, I thought. And $1900 was such a small price to pay for my happiness. I bought it! Right on the spot. My husband did not see it quite the same way. He did not share my joy. It took him six months to show any interest the bike other than to bring up the outlandish cost. $1900 for a bike that doesn’t GO ANYWHERE? That was all he could be heard muttering every time I rode it. Six months have passed. The weather is turning cooler, and he is finally warming to MY bike. I’ve already warned him, he will have to get his own.