Comments on: Finally, I Have Figured Out How to Lose Weight Permanently http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/ It's like reality TV. Except it's real. And there's no TV. Fri, 04 Mar 2022 03:21:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Lissee http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-734 Lissee Thu, 07 Dec 2006 19:33:34 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-734 Dear Fatty Is there a salary attached to the position? I would consider a move to UT for the right amount. 50K a year would work well for me. Kind regards, Lissee Dear Fatty

Is there a salary attached to the position? I would consider a move to UT for the right amount. 50K a year would work well for me.

Kind regards,
Lissee

]]> By: Uncadan8 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-708 Uncadan8 Wed, 06 Dec 2006 11:35:02 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-708 I work in security and am used to daily abuse, so nothing you could say would make me relinquish the safety of the fridge to the abuse of the Fat Cyclist. After all, the fridge is my best friend too. So you wouldn't stand a chance. Dan I work in security and am used to daily abuse, so nothing you could say would make me relinquish the safety of the fridge to the abuse of the Fat Cyclist. After all, the fridge is my best friend too. So you wouldn’t stand a chance.

Dan

]]> By: KatieA978 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-692 KatieA978 Tue, 05 Dec 2006 22:28:42 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-692 Dear Fatty, I would like to apply for the position of "Food Police - Midnight Shift" as advertised on the Fat Cyclist website. I feel I am highly qualified for this position due to the fact I'm on the other side of the world (and therefore cannot physically stop you), am always awake at the time you need assistance (being that Sydney is in a completely different time zone and so it's the middle of the day here when it's lat at night there) and have very little proper work to do (and therefore can spend copious amounts of time responding to your inane pleadings for help). I can also take abuse (I have an older brother, which I think over-qualifies me in this respect), am most likely physically stronger than you (as well as mentally - I am, after all, female), have enough friends of my own and you have nothing that I want. (Except one of those commuter backpacks - they look good.) As you can see, I can get your arse into shape. By making you avoid the fridge. I will put a little cookie jar piglet inside hooked to the door - so when you open it, your whole family will know that you're being Piggy, not Fatty. I look forward to emailing with your shortly for a more in-depth interview. Best Regards, Katie PS - I'm now officially a Personal Trainer, having finished my course, so Fatty - I can write exercise programs, I can help with nutrition and I can properly get your arse into gear Fat Boy. Yes, I'm going to be one of THOSE trainers. :) Dear Fatty,

I would like to apply for the position of “Food Police – Midnight Shift” as advertised on the Fat Cyclist website.

I feel I am highly qualified for this position due to the fact I’m on the other side of the world (and therefore cannot physically stop you), am always awake at the time you need assistance (being that Sydney is in a completely different time zone and so it’s the middle of the day here when it’s lat at night there) and have very little proper work to do (and therefore can spend copious amounts of time responding to your inane pleadings for help).

I can also take abuse (I have an older brother, which I think over-qualifies me in this respect), am most likely physically stronger than you (as well as mentally – I am, after all, female), have enough friends of my own and you have nothing that I want. (Except one of those commuter backpacks – they look good.)

As you can see, I can get your arse into shape. By making you avoid the fridge. I will put a little cookie jar piglet inside hooked to the door – so when you open it, your whole family will know that you’re being Piggy, not Fatty. I look forward to emailing with your shortly for a more in-depth interview.

Best Regards,
Katie

PS – I’m now officially a Personal Trainer, having finished my course, so Fatty – I can write exercise programs, I can help with nutrition and I can properly get your arse into gear Fat Boy. Yes, I’m going to be one of THOSE trainers. :)

]]> By: Chris H http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-690 Chris H Tue, 05 Dec 2006 19:14:11 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-690 Fatty, you will lose weight if you eat more. During the day, that is. Then you wouldn't be so hungry in the evenings. Now go enjoy a big lunch. Fatty, you will lose weight if you eat more. During the day, that is. Then you wouldn’t be so hungry in the evenings. Now go enjoy a big lunch.

]]> By: DP Cowboy http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-689 DP Cowboy Tue, 05 Dec 2006 19:06:21 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-689 I can qualify for that late night refrigerator guard person, and I would take delight in preventing you from enjoying those late night snacks, even though I WOULD be hungry. I have no conscience in that regard...I would just eat and snack away while denying you everything and listening to your pitiful (and wily) attempts to get something to eat. I can qualify for that late night refrigerator guard person, and I would take delight in preventing you from enjoying those late night snacks, even though I WOULD be hungry. I have no conscience in that regard…I would just eat and snack away while denying you everything and listening to your pitiful (and wily) attempts to get something to eat.

]]> By: BIKEMIKE http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-687 BIKEMIKE Tue, 05 Dec 2006 16:19:57 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-687 man up and quit eatin' like a pig! (hello mr. pot, this is mr. kettle) man up and quit eatin’ like a pig!

(hello mr. pot, this is mr. kettle)

]]> By: Tayfuryagci http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-686 Tayfuryagci Tue, 05 Dec 2006 15:55:45 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-686 I hear you, man! That: ¨I'll get a fresh start tomorrow.¨ has killed every diet I started in the past 2 years. Result: One 30kgs overweight and very very undertrained dude. Hire me. One look at my blood fat levels and BP and you'll be vomiting whatever you've overeaten like crazy. Even though I'm 20 and even though my blood works look fine I'm certain that I have every cardiovascular problem in the book. Blast you hypochondriasis, blast you! I hear you, man! That: ¨I’ll get a fresh start tomorrow.¨ has killed every diet I started in the past 2 years. Result: One 30kgs overweight and very very undertrained dude.

Hire me. One look at my blood fat levels and BP and you’ll be vomiting whatever you’ve overeaten like crazy. Even though I’m 20 and even though my blood works look fine I’m certain that I have every cardiovascular problem in the book. Blast you hypochondriasis, blast you!

]]> By: KitchenSink http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-684 KitchenSink Tue, 05 Dec 2006 12:19:32 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-684 I think you need to borrow Terry Tate the enforcer. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6238953685626218421 I think you need to borrow Terry Tate the enforcer.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6238953685626218421

]]> By: Argentius http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-683 Argentius Tue, 05 Dec 2006 09:27:43 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-683 Empty is the new full. Empty is the new full.

]]> By: Al Maviva http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/comment-page-1/#comment-681 Al Maviva Tue, 05 Dec 2006 03:49:47 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2006/12/04/finally-i-have-figured-out-how-to-lose-weight-permanently/#comment-681 Here's the deal. Throw out all your old jerseys. Then buy new ones in the same size, but instead of that Primal Wear and Nashbar crap, buy yourself some nice new ones from Castelli and Extcehe Ondoo, and those other unpronounceable Eye-Tie and Spanish companies. When they arrive, try one on. After the paramedics get done laughing at your "bag o' grapefruits" imitation and cut it off of you - at least those parts that didn't melt into your skin from the heat of severe over stretching - take your crying self into the kitchen and toss out the fattening food from your fridge. Every time thereafter that you are tempted to eat, just think about what it's going to take to fit into that tiny, tiny, miniature, XXXXXXL Castelli jersey. Not only will you forgo the snack, but the weeping and great shuddering sobs will burn off many, many extra calories. That should do the trick. Failing that, I'll come over to your house every night and fight you for the food. Sure, you might win once in a while, especially if you feel about gun ownership as you do about bikes (many, nice, highly functional, and shiny). But the effort of fighting, especially on the days I show up with a do stick, should more than offset the increased calorie intake. Here’s the deal. Throw out all your old jerseys.

Then buy new ones in the same size, but instead of that Primal Wear and Nashbar crap, buy yourself some nice new ones from Castelli and Extcehe Ondoo, and those other unpronounceable Eye-Tie and Spanish companies.

When they arrive, try one on.

After the paramedics get done laughing at your “bag o’ grapefruits” imitation and cut it off of you – at least those parts that didn’t melt into your skin from the heat of severe over stretching – take your crying self into the kitchen and toss out the fattening food from your fridge.

Every time thereafter that you are tempted to eat, just think about what it’s going to take to fit into that tiny, tiny, miniature, XXXXXXL Castelli jersey. Not only will you forgo the snack, but the weeping and great shuddering sobs will burn off many, many extra calories.

That should do the trick.

Failing that, I’ll come over to your house every night and fight you for the food. Sure, you might win once in a while, especially if you feel about gun ownership as you do about bikes (many, nice, highly functional, and shiny). But the effort of fighting, especially on the days I show up with a do stick, should more than offset the increased calorie intake.

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