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I think todays blog effort is a perfect warm up for your RAWROD day, because I believe the commenters here totally kicked your butt. I’d write more, but I’m kind of tied up cleaning the coffee I blew all over my monitor while reading Al’s entry.

Which is, I think what you are after?

;-)

I’m glad I have it easy – nothing to prove. I’m pretty sure I can finish, but that’s where my expectations end. I’d like to make it up some of the climbs I didn’t make it up last time, but I’m playing it by ear.

You get the bonuses of the ride (Brats, Carne Asada) plus you get to be a hero to pretty much everyone. Your buddies are stoked because they don’t have to worry about it, and the slow dudes get free lessons from one of the fast guys. Just play bored of the whole ‘racing’ thing (which is exactly what you’ve been doing with your blog so far this year) and you’re set.

Since exercising this sort of patience and intelligence is clearly beyond your grasp, I have a couple recommendations that are more your speed.

1) The body often is strangely game for all-out efforts the day after an all-out effort. I don’t know why this is, I think the body just enjoys the debilitation that your mind and soul suffer through the week after such a back-to-back effort. Anyhow, it sometimes works, so here’s the thing, pre-ride RAWROD the day before the event. Just to be sure you’re adequately in the tank, do 10 VO2Max intervals on decreasing recovery = 5 minutes, 4:30, and so forth. This should wipe you out badly enough that your body will be up for the challenge the next day. Make sure you eat a Gu Packet or two after your pre-ride, to get your fuel stores topped up for the challenge.

2) Lighten your bike as much as possible. In your case, since you ride a Ti singlespeed, there’s only one way to do this – remove the heavy steel chainring and cog, and substitute out the 8 Speed SRAM for a 10 speed ultralite Wipperman, the one with the hollow pins. Sure, some people would question the durability of such a setup, and the 10 speed / 8 speed compatibility, but I’m not one of them. If you need to lose additional weight off the bike, you can remove the brakes, handlebar (unless it’s carbon, which weighs nothing) and the seat. Your friends will marvel at how light your bike is. This should help you get to the end of your ride much faster.

3) You are going to eat only laxatives? That’s an amateurish, half-baked way to go about binge starvation for a race. The way the PROs do it, is to combine them with purgatives. Providing you have a sink adjacent to the toilet, and not one of those luxury bathrooms where you keep a BikeFriday in the room to transit between the crapper and the sink, you can do this. Just wait until you need to sit on the Mighty Throne and do your bit, and toss back a couple shooters of Syrup of Ipecac, coupled with a half cup of vinegar. This will have you spraying uneeded weight from both ends, in no time flat.

Of course we both know that there is only one way out of this terrible predicament. You go to the ride, start it with your friends, and then mechanical out. You can’t do something small, like flatting, since some fool will have a tube. You don’t want to ghost ride the bike off a 200 foot cliff either, that would probably wreck the frame. No, what you need, is a busted up front wheel. Just find a handy stick, get rolling down a hill, and shove the stick into the spokes. The resulting damage should pretty much end your ride, so you can get back to focusing on the bratwurst.

Just remember two things. First, you want to do this around mile 2. A 50 mile hike-a-bike would pretty much negate the rationale for using this tactic. Second, be careful to not break your wrist. It would be really hard to shove food into your mouth two-handed style, with a broken wrist.