Comments on: How To Suck In Your Gut

By: Hank

Hank — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 17:11:36 +0000

This article has changed my life. I laughed, I cried, I learned. I often see myself, at home, in my mirror, directly from the front, with my gut sucked in, and walk out of my house with that image, confident that I don’t look absolutely horrible in bike clothes. Then some sick bastard whips a camera out and starts posting event photos on facebook, and voila! I am instantly reminded that the only clothes I look worse in than bike clothing is a Kazakhstani speedo. Why has someone not invented the bib shorts with a steel-railed girdle attached to them? Thank you for the advice here, and for at least confirming that I am not the only one strategically hiding at the back of the photos.

By: Michael Fever

Michael Fever — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 08:41:10 +0000

I’ve just learned the art of sucking it in, and I never even thought about the photographic impact of my actions or lackthereof! I could have been portraying an entirely different profile to the permanent record of the world!!

By: Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » How to Get Ready for the Race Season With This One Weird Old Trick

Tue, 30 Mar 2010 17:19:30 +0000

[...] Or at least it says a lot of things. Specifically, it says that this diet is mostly about sucking in your gut for “after” pictures, a technique I wholeheartedly endorse. [...]

By: kookimebux

kookimebux — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 18:14:58 +0000

Hello. And Bye. :)

By: Clydesteve

Clydesteve — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 00:12:40 +0000

Fatty, could you condense these tips to a waterproof laminated crib sheet that would clip on to a route holder? I think it would be a big seller.

~~~~~~~~

Oh, and get busy and write you donation to Bike Mike’s LiveSTRONG Challenge ride (link to the right, near the top of this page).

I have passed him up again, and this should not be happening! ;-) $13,675 and counting!
http://portland08.livestrong.org/stevpete

By: Robyn

Robyn — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:33:35 +0000

Boz – The chin thing is simple. You must only be photographed from ABOVE. This way you are looking up and your chins are stretched out. So in cycling, I guess you should have a buddy stop halfway up a climb, you at the bottom, and snap a quick picture before heading on up the hill.

Also, practice biting the insides of your cheeks whilst holding your breath. This gives the illusion of gaunt cheeks, like you’ve been riding for 17 straight days or so. I guess then you can’t smile, which makes it even more dramatic. If you can get your cheeks in far enough, I doubt anyone will continue on down the photo.

By: Crazy Commuting Cyclist

Crazy Commuting Cyclist — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:18:09 +0000

This technique may have been mentioned in one of the 65 comments but I will throw this in. Make sure when you get a photo taken it is just of the bike. This will also eliminate any helmet hair, goofy smile, or just a bad kodak moment you may not want captured.

By: Me (still Kenny's neice)

Me (still Kenny's neice) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 20:10:25 +0000

If you stand up Really Really really tall and suck in your gut it makes you look even skinnier. And taller. That is aways a plus.

By: Fat Cyclist’s Sucking In The Gut « Speed Skate World- By Peter Doucet- Online Since 1999

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:39:59 +0000

[...] Posted on June 3, 2008 by peterdoucet Check out Fat Cyclist’s most recent posting; How To Suck In Your Gut… The post is a tutorial in sucking/ concealing the gut and [...]

By: KT

KT — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 18:28:27 +0000

As a woman, here’s my tip (for the rest of the ladies):

Only appear in photos from the upper-torso region up. Head and shoulders only, people.

Fatty, maybe you could feature your sister as a guest blogger for the female perspective on this subject. I know the guys here would love it. :)

And I concur with Born and Cylostu’s theory about you being a hobbit. It’s obvious, and you’re an angry hobbit, too, as evidenced by that last photo.

Oops, it’s elevensies here in Portland, gotta go eat before it’s time for lunch! :)