Comments on: How to Help a Loved One Starting Cancer Treatment http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/ It's like reality TV. Except it's real. And there's no TV. Fri, 04 Mar 2022 03:21:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Big Plans, Vaguely Hinted At http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-473181 Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Big Plans, Vaguely Hinted At Wed, 13 Jan 2010 20:17:40 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-473181 [...] with cancer, and how others who have been caretakers similarly learn a lot during these fights. This post from back in September got me to thinking: I would love to collect stories and tips from other caretakers in some kind of [...] [...] with cancer, and how others who have been caretakers similarly learn a lot during these fights. This post from back in September got me to thinking: I would love to collect stories and tips from other caretakers in some kind of [...]

]]> By: Laura http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-464357 Laura Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:21:19 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-464357 I spent this past summer doing 6 cycles of ATC chemo, followed by a mastectomy. Going into it, I had goals of doing 3 century rides, plus some other athletic events this summer. My docs suggested not doing the kayak races (immune system vs.polluted water), but thoroughly encouraged riding and walking. Staying active was the biggest thing they stressed to me. Encourage your patient to go, or take her, for short outings either walking or on her bike. Even on the days when she feels the worst, a short walk on a sunny day can do wonders. As she feels better, make them longer or more challenging. Having some goals over the course of chemo can also help her stay active...find out when your Race for the Cure is and enter the walk (or run, if she's already a runner). Find some easy charity bike rides or arrange a special ride with friends, just for her. And yes, I made a metric century the day before my 3rd treatment, a full one the day before my 4th, and a 75 miler two weeks after my last. If it weren't for the encouragement of my husband, I probably wouldn't have. I spent this past summer doing 6 cycles of ATC chemo, followed by a mastectomy. Going into it, I had goals of doing 3 century rides, plus some other athletic events this summer. My docs suggested not doing the kayak races (immune system vs.polluted water), but thoroughly encouraged riding and walking. Staying active was the biggest thing they stressed to me.

Encourage your patient to go, or take her, for short outings either walking or on her bike. Even on the days when she feels the worst, a short walk on a sunny day can do wonders. As she feels better, make them longer or more challenging.

Having some goals over the course of chemo can also help her stay active…find out when your Race for the Cure is and enter the walk (or run, if she’s already a runner). Find some easy charity bike rides or arrange a special ride with friends, just for her.

And yes, I made a metric century the day before my 3rd treatment, a full one the day before my 4th, and a 75 miler two weeks after my last. If it weren’t for the encouragement of my husband, I probably wouldn’t have.

]]> By: Katie http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-463052 Katie Mon, 19 Oct 2009 16:26:32 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-463052 My boyfriend was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia almost exactly one year ago-we are about 10 months into chemo...very heavy chemo. I've found that in the beginning I dove head-first into putting all of my energy into the care-taker role. While doing this I was actually hurting myself. Make sure you take time for yourself. At first this may be difficult-I felt like it would be too selfish-but it is absolutely necessary for both you and the future cancer survivor. You can only help your loved one when you are mentally and physically together yourself. Even if its just going and walking around outside or sitting in a bookstore reading-make sure to get out and about on your own once in a while. Just make sure to wash your hands-and possibly change clothes- as soon as you get home! (This might just be with blood cancers but the hand washing is still just a really good habit to get into). My boyfriend was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia almost exactly one year ago-we are about 10 months into chemo…very heavy chemo. I’ve found that in the beginning I dove head-first into putting all of my energy into the care-taker role. While doing this I was actually hurting myself. Make sure you take time for yourself. At first this may be difficult-I felt like it would be too selfish-but it is absolutely necessary for both you and the future cancer survivor. You can only help your loved one when you are mentally and physically together yourself. Even if its just going and walking around outside or sitting in a bookstore reading-make sure to get out and about on your own once in a while. Just make sure to wash your hands-and possibly change clothes- as soon as you get home! (This might just be with blood cancers but the hand washing is still just a really good habit to get into).

]]> By: rachel http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-461684 rachel Sun, 04 Oct 2009 01:01:16 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-461684 ok, two more things. If it's an older person, try to make sure they're taking their medication correctly. My grandma thought that if she took twice as much medicine, she would get better twice as fast. Thank your nurses. I like to take mine cookies every once in a while. Especially since I'm in remission. I think it helps them to see a happy ending to chemo. ok, two more things.

If it’s an older person, try to make sure they’re taking their medication correctly. My grandma thought that if she took twice as much medicine, she would get better twice as fast.

Thank your nurses. I like to take mine cookies every once in a while. Especially since I’m in remission. I think it helps them to see a happy ending to chemo.

]]> By: Jennifer C. http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-461008 Jennifer C. Sun, 27 Sep 2009 19:39:28 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-461008 we had a surprise "hat party" for my mom when she was diagnosed a 2nd time w/ breast cancer. All of her friends bought hats & scarves for her then modeled them according to the "occasions." We just did the same thing for her best friend who was recently diagnosed w/ breast cancer, as well. It was fun w/ lots of laughter and just a few tears. we had a surprise “hat party” for my mom when she was diagnosed a 2nd time w/ breast cancer. All of her friends bought hats & scarves for her then modeled them according to the “occasions.” We just did the same thing for her best friend who was recently diagnosed w/ breast cancer, as well. It was fun w/ lots of laughter and just a few tears.

]]> By: aisdsks http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-460889 aisdsks Fri, 25 Sep 2009 01:19:37 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-460889 zczkdlv- Thank you,aisdsks.Great site. zczkdlv- Thank you,aisdsks.Great site.

]]> By: Liz in OK http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-460792 Liz in OK Thu, 24 Sep 2009 01:46:01 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-460792 So, so, SO many great suggestions! We've done this twice already & appear to be right on the brink of doing it again ... Baskets were helpful for hospital stays (both for the patient & the family who were staying alongside mom for days at a time) - p'butter cracker packages, raisins, some chocolate bars, granola bars, tried to keep some fresh fruit until neutropenia was an issue Since we spent so much time at the hospital - usually with very little notice - we put together a hospital bag & kept it ready: pjs, socks, chap stick, disinfecting wipes, soft kleenex & toilet paper One of the things that helped us the most was to have favorite verses & poems & songs printed out that were laying around the house or taped up to hospital room walls. We collected those over the year of Mom's battle & they're under those various headings (on the left) at http://linda.walkworthy.us/ Look for trustworthy online resources - the Yahoogroup of lymphoma survivors & the affiliated website was priceless for me, helping us to understand this whole new world of terms & procedures & considerations that had never, ever crossed our minds before Music! In the home, on an iPod (anyone can learn!) or on a portable cd player at the hospital - it can be such an encouragement. Keep reminding each other (& especially the one facing illness) that you're in this together & you're all going to face it together & work through it together. My mom (like my grandma before her) kept thinking that it was somehow too much to ask of us to put our plans aside & help her. Fuzzy socks! You can find them in fun colors and they feel SO good. Get some peppermint or other good-smelling lotion to rub Mom's feet. When you're sitting around telling stories on each other, pull out old pictures, have someone take notes & be sure to take some new pictures. So, so, SO many great suggestions!
We’ve done this twice already & appear to be right on the brink of doing it again …

Baskets were helpful for hospital stays (both for the patient & the family who were staying alongside mom for days at a time) – p’butter cracker packages, raisins, some chocolate bars, granola bars, tried to keep some fresh fruit until neutropenia was an issue

Since we spent so much time at the hospital – usually with very little notice – we put together a hospital bag & kept it ready: pjs, socks, chap stick, disinfecting wipes, soft kleenex & toilet paper

One of the things that helped us the most was to have favorite verses & poems & songs printed out that were laying around the house or taped up to hospital room walls. We collected those over the year of Mom’s battle & they’re under those various headings (on the left) at http://linda.walkworthy.us/

Look for trustworthy online resources – the Yahoogroup of lymphoma survivors & the affiliated website was priceless for me, helping us to understand this whole new world of terms & procedures & considerations that had never, ever crossed our minds before

Music! In the home, on an iPod (anyone can learn!) or on a portable cd player at the hospital – it can be such an encouragement.

Keep reminding each other (& especially the one facing illness) that you’re in this together & you’re all going to face it together & work through it together. My mom (like my grandma before her) kept thinking that it was somehow too much to ask of us to put our plans aside & help her.

Fuzzy socks! You can find them in fun colors and they feel SO good.

Get some peppermint or other good-smelling lotion to rub Mom’s feet.

When you’re sitting around telling stories on each other, pull out old pictures, have someone take notes & be sure to take some new pictures.

]]> By: Heather http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-460643 Heather Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:51:45 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-460643 A few thoughts from me, in my 6th year of treatment for metastatic breast cancer: 1. This is a marathon not a sprint, people tend to start out with strong support and naturally as life gets busy tend to fade away until there is a crisis. Be there for the long haul and be consistent. 2. Don't start every conversation with how do you feel. It's important to ask but not all the time and as a patient, you often wish to just talk about normal stuff and have some fun. 3. There are a lot of well meaning friends and family who will say the wrong thing, they don't mean it and you can't always predict what will trigger a response. Learn to re-direct a conversation that is headed in the wrong direction. 4. Laugh a lot and then laugh some more. 5. Dig out favorite movies, books and music they are much like comfort food and fill a need that you might not even know is there. A few thoughts from me, in my 6th year of treatment for metastatic breast cancer:

1. This is a marathon not a sprint, people tend to start out with strong support and naturally as life gets busy tend to fade away until there is a crisis. Be there for the long haul and be consistent.

2. Don’t start every conversation with how do you feel. It’s important to ask but not all the time and as a patient, you often wish to just talk about normal stuff and have some fun.

3. There are a lot of well meaning friends and family who will say the wrong thing, they don’t mean it and you can’t always predict what will trigger a response. Learn to re-direct a conversation that is headed in the wrong direction.

4. Laugh a lot and then laugh some more.

5. Dig out favorite movies, books and music they are much like comfort food and fill a need that you might not even know is there.

]]> By: patrick http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-460498 patrick Mon, 21 Sep 2009 17:32:57 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-460498 i loved hard candy during chemo. and having someone to talk with during the drips was helpful. cancer can be lonely, and having people with you during treatment means a lot. i loved hard candy during chemo. and having someone to talk with during the drips was helpful. cancer can be lonely, and having people with you during treatment means a lot.

]]> By: debra t http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/comment-page-3/#comment-460430 debra t Mon, 21 Sep 2009 09:48:20 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/09/15/how-to-help-a-loved-one-starting-cancer-treatment/#comment-460430 I'm a bone marrow transplant nurse. If tbe patient is in the hospital, don't go visit them if you are sick. If you do go,wash your hands! Also I think that mylar balloons are an awful thing to bring. At night,they sometimes look like scary things. Also,many units do not allow flowers. Things that seem to be cherished-dvd's,trashy magazines,hard candy, and short visits. THese comments were so wonderful to read. It's hard work being a caregiver. I’m a bone marrow transplant nurse.
If tbe patient is in the hospital, don’t go visit them if you are sick. If you do go,wash your hands!
Also I think that mylar balloons are an awful thing to bring. At night,they sometimes look like scary things. Also,many units do not allow flowers.
Things that seem to be cherished-dvd’s,trashy magazines,hard candy, and short visits.
THese comments were so wonderful to read. It’s hard work being a caregiver.

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