Comments on: How to Patch a Tube, Part I http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/ It's like reality TV. Except it's real. And there's no TV. Fri, 04 Mar 2022 03:21:11 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9 hourly 1 By: Brad http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-550356 Brad Wed, 11 Jan 2012 22:19:50 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-550356 QOTD: "A flat in the back adds a whole extra layer of suck frosting to the cake of suck that you’re already going to have to eat." QOTD: “A flat in the back adds a whole extra layer of suck frosting to the cake of suck that you’re already going to have to eat.”

]]> By: The Angel Sister Grew Her Own Set Of Horns http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549136 The Angel Sister Grew Her Own Set Of Horns Fri, 06 Jan 2012 08:28:24 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549136 Somewhere between Steps 0.5 and 1 should be planning how to get the best revenge on those people who routinely manage to get you do it for them. (Keep in mind this is only for the very worst of repeat offenders) My younger brother was the perfect example of just such a person, both with bikes and with everything else. My parents bought him for his 13th or 14th birthday to ride to and from school. Instead, he kept trying to show off for his friends (who were seriously skilled with a mountain bike or BMX bike for a bunch of lazy teens). When one of these stunts resulted in not one but two flats at once, he weaseled (read: blackmailed) his way into not only fixing it for him but taking a look for the source of the several strange sounds coming from the bike, supposedly for him to fix it himself. I said I would take a look if he would bring me a mocha from his daily Starbucks stop on the way home and if he also agreed to do any cleanup afterwards, "although I doubt there will be any." (I already knew the sounds were because of his not knowing how to clean, maintain or repair said bike) I said I would do it "only because I enjoy working on bikes that much, had a bad day and need to unwind." I already had a plan forming. Step 1: Maximize the inconvenience of the person who should be doing the job themselves (once again: for repeat offenders only!) I do so by setting up in the middle of the kitchen floor just as my brother is due through the door with his usual ravenous hunger for mid-afternoon snacks. Accompanying him and his hunger are his equally hungry friends on that particular day. I proceeded to lean the bike against the fridge and pantry doors for stability and he of course proceeds to complain about his lack of snack access. Did I mention he "forgot" my drink? The way his friends began to snicker I can tell it was no accident. Step 2: Add embarrassment to the mix. Make it clear his friends see he has no idea what he's doing when it comes to bikes. In my case, he saved me the trouble when I started to disengage his brakes before even touching the wheel by asking what the hell I am doing messing with the brakes if the problem is a flat. His friends try not to snicker as they realize he's clueless. When he began to complain again, I smiled sweetly and "obliged" by moving the bike to the kitchen counter. Step 3: Add MORE embarrassment to the mix. When I dumped my brothers bike on the counter, without me in the way to block their view of the bike they could then see that it was not my bike like they assumed, but in fact is his bike. How they confused my light, sleek, clean, pretty road bike (of the same color) with his dirty, gunky, beat up, heavy mountain bike is beyond me but it was clear after that when one helpfully chimed in "You're making your sister do your tubes for you? Lame!" There was no suppressing their laughter at that point, and they proceed to chew into him for it. I repeat my sweet, loving, sisterly smile look and add in "well, I just love working on bikes so much that he lets me work on his when I've had a bad day and mine is already done. Besides, he's my baby brother and I just love the little guy so much I would do it for him anyway!" For good measure I add in a one armed hug around his waist even though the "little guy" is only two years younger but more than a foot taller than me. I had to struggle at it but manage to look as sincerely loving as a teenager is able to and proceed to finish what I offered to do, plus de-grease, de-gunk, clean, do all maintenance he has not done because he has no clue how, adjust a few things for him to fit him better, and an overall tuneup to everything else and finally re-grease it at the very end. Step 4: Enjoy payback sundae drowning in awesome sauce: Did I "forget" to warn him that re-greasing is messy work and does not come out of anything easily and especially not the porous, white counter top in the kitchen? Oops! While his friends played video games without him, I sat back next to a shiny, gleaming, smooth riding bike and watched him scrub the porous, white tile counter while I sipped away the remaining half of his giant Frappicino. After all, a deal is a deal and he knew that if he backed out in front of his friends he would never hear the end of it from them. That was the last time he ever tried to force me into doing his work for him. Somewhere between Steps 0.5 and 1 should be planning how to get the best revenge on those people who routinely manage to get you do it for them. (Keep in mind this is only for the very worst of repeat offenders) My younger brother was the perfect example of just such a person, both with bikes and with everything else. My parents bought him for his 13th or 14th birthday to ride to and from school. Instead, he kept trying to show off for his friends (who were seriously skilled with a mountain bike or BMX bike for a bunch of lazy teens). When one of these stunts resulted in not one but two flats at once, he weaseled (read: blackmailed) his way into not only fixing it for him but taking a look for the source of the several strange sounds coming from the bike, supposedly for him to fix it himself. I said I would take a look if he would bring me a mocha from his daily Starbucks stop on the way home and if he also agreed to do any cleanup afterwards, “although I doubt there will be any.” (I already knew the sounds were because of his not knowing how to clean, maintain or repair said bike) I said I would do it “only because I enjoy working on bikes that much, had a bad day and need to unwind.” I already had a plan forming.

Step 1: Maximize the inconvenience of the person who should be doing the job themselves (once again: for repeat offenders only!) I do so by setting up in the middle of the kitchen floor just as my brother is due through the door with his usual ravenous hunger for mid-afternoon snacks. Accompanying him and his hunger are his equally hungry friends on that particular day. I proceeded to lean the bike against the fridge and pantry doors for stability and he of course proceeds to complain about his lack of snack access. Did I mention he “forgot” my drink? The way his friends began to snicker I can tell it was no accident.

Step 2: Add embarrassment to the mix. Make it clear his friends see he has no idea what he’s doing when it comes to bikes. In my case, he saved me the trouble when I started to disengage his brakes before even touching the wheel by asking what the hell I am doing messing with the brakes if the problem is a flat. His friends try not to snicker as they realize he’s clueless. When he began to complain again, I smiled sweetly and “obliged” by moving the bike to the kitchen counter.

Step 3: Add MORE embarrassment to the mix. When I dumped my brothers bike on the counter, without me in the way to block their view of the bike they could then see that it was not my bike like they assumed, but in fact is his bike. How they confused my light, sleek, clean, pretty road bike (of the same color) with his dirty, gunky, beat up, heavy mountain bike is beyond me but it was clear after that when one helpfully chimed in “You’re making your sister do your tubes for you? Lame!” There was no suppressing their laughter at that point, and they proceed to chew into him for it. I repeat my sweet, loving, sisterly smile look and add in “well, I just love working on bikes so much that he lets me work on his when I’ve had a bad day and mine is already done. Besides, he’s my baby brother and I just love the little guy so much I would do it for him anyway!” For good measure I add in a one armed hug around his waist even though the “little guy” is only two years younger but more than a foot taller than me. I had to struggle at it but manage to look as sincerely loving as a teenager is able to and proceed to finish what I offered to do, plus de-grease, de-gunk, clean, do all maintenance he has not done because he has no clue how, adjust a few things for him to fit him better, and an overall tuneup to everything else and finally re-grease it at the very end.

Step 4: Enjoy payback sundae drowning in awesome sauce: Did I “forget” to warn him that re-greasing is messy work and does not come out of anything easily and especially not the porous, white counter top in the kitchen? Oops! While his friends played video games without him, I sat back next to a shiny, gleaming, smooth riding bike and watched him scrub the porous, white tile counter while I sipped away the remaining half of his giant Frappicino. After all, a deal is a deal and he knew that if he backed out in front of his friends he would never hear the end of it from them. That was the last time he ever tried to force me into doing his work for him.

]]> By: davidh-marin, ca http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549129 davidh-marin, ca Fri, 06 Jan 2012 06:09:42 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549129 Uh Oh, Fatty, you've inspired others to become awesome!! Well Done. [img]http://bikeandbuild.org/public/riderpics/2012/images/5450.jpg[/img] Check out Gabi's link http://adventureswithdelilah.wordpress.com/ and learn about her ride across the US in 2012. We need to hook her up with Jalene and Precious so we can follow along....and send money. Way to go Gabi!!!! You're a true Fatty! (HAH) Uh Oh, Fatty, you’ve inspired others to become awesome!! Well Done.

5450.jpg

Check out Gabi’s link http://adventureswithdelilah.wordpress.com/ and learn about her ride across the US in 2012. We need to hook her up with Jalene and Precious so we can follow along….and send money.

Way to go Gabi!!!! You’re a true Fatty! (HAH)

]]> By: Ken G http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549125 Ken G Fri, 06 Jan 2012 05:13:49 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549125 Let's try that pic again...[img]http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj34/trekker11/IMG_0530.jpg[/img] Let’s try that pic again…IMG_0530.jpg

]]> By: Ken G http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549124 Ken G Fri, 06 Jan 2012 05:12:11 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549124 Ok, but what if... You're just riding along, the bead unseats, tube is exposed in a pretzely sort of way, still holding air mind you. Do you stuff it back in, trusting it'll still hold air? OR stick a knife in it just to teach it a lesson? [img][IMG]http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj34/trekker11/IMG_0530.jpg[/IMG][/img] Ok, but what if… You’re just riding along, the bead unseats, tube is exposed in a pretzely sort of way, still holding air mind you. Do you stuff it back in, trusting it’ll still hold air? OR stick a knife in it just to teach it a lesson?
[IMGhttp://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj34/trekker11/IMG_0530.jpg[/IMG][/img]

]]> By: davidh-marinca http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549117 davidh-marinca Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:24:18 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549117 I encourage Fatty's to check out LeeDo's link above. While the slimy wheel is icky enough, the real treat is the picture of sunny blue skies in Washington, in May for 'Bike to Work Day'. That and the GREAT picture of kids enjoying a velodrome! How cool to have a Velodrome in your neighborhood. I encourage Fatty’s to check out LeeDo’s link above.

While the slimy wheel is icky enough, the real treat is the picture of sunny blue skies in Washington, in May for ‘Bike to Work Day’. That and the GREAT picture of kids enjoying a velodrome! How cool to have a Velodrome in your neighborhood.

]]> By: davidh-marinca http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549115 davidh-marinca Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:15:19 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549115 @GreggC Yes I think Fatty has sent out a Cosmic Thunderbolt to all of us riding here in California in the 60 degree weather with blue skies and full sun(ahhhh!!!) Now if he writes a post on broken frames I'm going to stop reading. I can't afford a broken frame. My ride this afternoon was a pinch flat on the trail I normally ride, and whose rocky sections are not that rocky, and whose drops are not that severe. Needless to say my 'moobs' did not garner me any assistance, and like 'Dean' says above my tire fits my rim really well.(arghhh!) @MattC Are we going to see that recipe for Macademia Nut Cookies before Livestrong Davis? I'm willing to bake up a few dozen(s) to complement the PIE! @GreggC Yes I think Fatty has sent out a Cosmic Thunderbolt to all of us riding here in California in the 60 degree weather with blue skies and full sun(ahhhh!!!) Now if he writes a post on broken frames I’m going to stop reading. I can’t afford a broken frame.

My ride this afternoon was a pinch flat on the trail I normally ride, and whose rocky sections are not that rocky, and whose drops are not that severe. Needless to say my ‘moobs’ did not garner me any assistance, and like ‘Dean’ says above my tire fits my rim really well.(arghhh!)

@MattC Are we going to see that recipe for Macademia Nut Cookies before Livestrong Davis? I’m willing to bake up a few dozen(s) to complement the PIE!

]]> By: Gabi http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549114 Gabi Fri, 06 Jan 2012 02:01:16 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549114 Easiest way to fix a flat: be female and ride with a male. Easiest way to fix a flat: be female and ride with a male.

]]> By: Leedo http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549110 Leedo Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:16:55 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549110 This is what happens when you try to do a tire removal before stopping- http://www.flickr.com/photos/leedo/5742148142/in/set-72157626768615562 Full ride report: http://bit.ly/w205gD This was a blow-out from not seating the bead correctly on the rim. It blew out while I was doing 30+ down a big hill. Luckily I was able to stop without losing it. See the green slime? Self healing doesn't help when you have a side-blowout. This is what happens when you try to do a tire removal before stopping-

http://www.flickr.com/photos/leedo/5742148142/in/set-72157626768615562

Full ride report: http://bit.ly/w205gD

This was a blow-out from not seating the bead correctly on the rim. It blew out while I was doing 30+ down a big hill. Luckily I was able to stop without losing it.

See the green slime? Self healing doesn’t help when you have a side-blowout.

]]> By: barefoot http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/comment-page-1/#comment-549108 barefoot Fri, 06 Jan 2012 00:02:50 +0000 http://www.fatcyclist.com/2012/01/05/how-to-patch-a-tube-part-i/#comment-549108 If you want a supersized serving of suck-cake with extra frosting, try dealing with a rear flat on a bike with hub gears. And a rear drum brake. And a chain case. And fenders. Also, try doing it while keeping a small child sufficiently entertained so as to not run out on the road, because this cake of suck is the wheel of a berkfee... bakefro... beerke... cargo bike. And cargo bikes don't sit upside down well, even if the box isn't half filled up with groceries. That's when you resolve to fit 10kg/wheel of slime tubes. Thornproof. Self-healing. As close to rolling on solid rubber as you can get in these modern times. Seriously, it's not like you're going to notice another few kilos of rotating mass on a bike that weighs as much as a small car anyway. Once you have your slime tubes fitted, it's quite magical. You really do get the magical "step 0" just-kidding flats. You just have to swear at it a bit then pump it up, and you're good to go. If you want a supersized serving of suck-cake with extra frosting, try dealing with a rear flat on a bike with hub gears. And a rear drum brake. And a chain case. And fenders.
Also, try doing it while keeping a small child sufficiently entertained so as to not run out on the road, because this cake of suck is the wheel of a berkfee… bakefro… beerke… cargo bike. And cargo bikes don’t sit upside down well, even if the box isn’t half filled up with groceries.

That’s when you resolve to fit 10kg/wheel of slime tubes. Thornproof. Self-healing. As close to rolling on solid rubber as you can get in these modern times. Seriously, it’s not like you’re going to notice another few kilos of rotating mass on a bike that weighs as much as a small car anyway.

Once you have your slime tubes fitted, it’s quite magical. You really do get the magical “step 0″ just-kidding flats. You just have to swear at it a bit then pump it up, and you’re good to go.

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