What I’m Doing During My Time Off (Warning: Navel Gazing Ahead)

10.31.2006 | 9:06 am

Hi, Fatty here. Yeah, I know I said I wasn’t going to do any writing for a while, but I am perfectly comfortable with the idea of breaking promises.

When I decided to take my first extended break since I started this blog, the reason I gave was that I was (disproportionately) grumpy at what seemed to me an increase in commenting snark aimed in my direction.

But that was really only a small part of why I wanted a break. The bigger reason was that I had — for the first time since I’ve started writing this blog — run out of ideas. I’d sit down to write, and have nothing to say about biking.

That freaked me out.

The biggest reason I felt I needed a break, though, was that I felt like “Fat Cyclist” was at a sort of crossroads. I saw four choices.

• Keep on keeping on. Do I keep doing what I’ve been doing for 18 months (write something funny about biking every weekday, more-or-less), pretty much forever? That didn’t sound appealing.
• Good night, everybody. Do I shut the blog down, and focus my writing efforts on writing a book or for print magazines? Well, I like the idea of writing a book and writing for magazines, but I don’t really think writing “Fat Cyclist” and pursuing other writing efforts are really mutually exclusive.
• Cool it. Do I go to a “once a week” model, posting every Monday? Nah. That’s lazy, and you’d all fall out of the habit of visiting here.
• Counterintuitive option. What if — instead of doing the same thing, or not doing anything at all, or doing less, I really ramped up “Fat Cyclist” into something bigger?

The more I thought about it, the more I decided I liked the idea of turning Fat Cyclist into more than a blog.

FatCyclist.com Now Under Construction
So, for the past few days, I’ve been spending a moment here and there to write down ideas and install software for www.fatcyclist.com. Here’s what I’m thinking the site will have.

• The blog. That’ll be on the home page. I’m happy to say that my “idea list” (a Word doc I keep with a bullet list of things I want to write about on my blog) now has a nice buffer of 15 items. So the writer’s fatigue thing should be over.
• Comments. I know a lot of you readers don’t currently comment because it’s difficult to sign up with Microsoft’s Live Passport. I’ve (for now) set up my blog at www.fatcyclist.com to not require registration. Just type and post. If spam or abuse gets to be a problem, I’ll rethink that later.
• Fatty’s Forum. I’d like to be able to have ongoing conversations with you guys, and the comments zone is kind of a weak way to do that, so I’ve got a forum at www.fatcyclist.com/forum. Please register and post something there, because it’s currently entirely empty.
• Epic Rides Library. Long before I ever did the “Fat Cyclist” blog, I maintained a little website called “Epic Rides,” where anyone who wanted could contribute stories about long, difficult bike rides they had taken. I loved writing and reading those stories, so I’m going to make that part of the Fat Cyclist site, too. Start thinking about (and writing) your stories.
• Training / Weight Loss Bets and Competitions: One way I’ve been able to force myself to stay on track with diets and training is by having a bet or competition with other people. I think that’s probably the case with others. So I’m planning on having an area on the site where you can either compete with me or with other Fat Cyclist readers to see who meets their goals.
• Stuff to Sell. I’m thinking of selling T-Shirts, stickers, jerseys, and other stuff like that. I haven’t actually started getting any of that produced, yet, though. Soon.
• Ads-for-Schwag: I’d like to put some ads on my site. Not to get money, mind you (though I wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to money). I’d like to do barter-style advertising, where small companies can advertise on my site in exchange for giving me stuff which I can then give away as competition prizes.

I’m just getting started, but the site’s now live. Leave a comment and tell me what you think of this idea.

Oh, and I’m no longer feeling fragile, so feel free to be honest.

Comments (52)

Mashed Potatoes

10.10.2006 | 9:30 pm

Something’s changed. It’s the same something that changes every year around this time. And that something is my motivation level. Sometime in late September, I stop thinking about how strong or fast or light or heavy I am, and start thinking about mashed potatoes.

Oh, how I love mashed potatoes.

I should be more specific: I love my mashed potatoes. Everybody loves my mashed potatoes. If there were a mashed potato contest, I’d enter it with confidence. And if I didn’t win, I’d feel robbed.

My kids love my mashed potatoes more than any other food in the world. They’d rather eat my mashed potatoes than dessert. And so would I, for that matter.

Friends and relations call early in the year to invite me to Thanksgiving dinner — even though they don’t care for me personally — because my mashed potatoes are so good.

Nobody puts gravy on my mashed potatoes. This is because people intuit that while other mashed potatoes need gravy, my mashed potatoes do not need such a crutch.

How to Make Great Mashed Potatoes
People always ask me, “Fatty, how do you make such incredible mashed potatoes?”

I do not tell them.

It’s not that there’s a secret. There’s not. And it’s not that these are difficult to make. They’re not.

It’s that if I tell people how bad these mashed potatoes are for them, they’ll never eat them again, and that would be a shame.

The thing is, though, most of you won’t ever be eating Thanksgiving with me anyway. So I don’t mind telling you about my mashed potatoes. And then you can make them, call them your own, and be famous within your own circle of friends for the best mashed potatoes in the world.

Start by peeling a 10lb bag of potatoes. Cut each potato into six or eight pieces. Put the potatoes into heavily salted water and boil until the potatoes reach “ready to mash” consistency.

No, I don’t know how long that is, and I can’t explain what that consistency is. If you can’t tell, perhaps you don’t have any business making my mashed potatoes.

Drain the water out. If someone else is making gravy, you can offer your water to them, because salty boiled potato water makes great gravy. Not, mind you, that you’ll need gravy.

It’s important you do this next part while the potatoes are very hot.

Toss in 2 sticks of butter. Do not use margarine, no matter what. Toss in a fistful of grated mozzarella cheese, and a much smaller fistful of grated Jack.

Now start mashing. Use a masher, not a mixmaster or other appliance. You don’t want these to be smooth and fluffy. (That’s what mashed potatoes from flakes are.) You want these to be recognizable as potatoes.

Continue until the potatoes are mashed and the butter and cheese are melted in.

Now, put in a big double wooden-spoonful of sour cream. And mash some more.

Taste.

If you don’t weep with joy, you did it wrong.

PS: I wonder why I always gain weight during the Autumn?

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