The Natural, Part 1

01.15.2016 | 12:39 pm

I’m a simple man, with a simple request. Which is, quite simply, for a Natural Century.

What is a “Natural Century,” you ask?

Well, a Natural Century is a 100-mile bike ride that satisfies these (very simple) requirements:

  1. It is 100 miles long. Not 101 miles. Not 99.5 miles. One hundred point zero miles. Though I’m probably willing to give or take a tenth of a mile due to the fact that no two Garmins (or even the same Garmin twice on the same route) have ever given the precisely same result.
  2. It is either a loop or a point-to-point. No fifty-mile out-n-backs with turnarounds just because you hit a fifty-mile mark on your computer.
  3. No silly miles. This is the big one. A Natural Century can’t have you taking weird detours and snaking through neighborhoods in order to get to that 100 mile mark.

Am I really asking for too much here? It doesn’t seem like I am, but the truth is, I’ve been in search of this elusive Natural Century for years. Without success.

The Leadville 100 is perhaps the most famous Unnatural Century, considering it has the “100” right in its name, but is  103.9 miles. And it’s an out-n-back for crying out loud. 

There are like a thousand different routes you can now take when riding Levi’s GranFondo, and not a single one of them forms a Natural Century (the version we always ride is 101.7 miles).

The Moab White Rim isn’t a Natural Century…although it’s astonishingly close (100.3 miles according to Strava, 99.83 miles according to my GPS display), considering that it’s a loop on a dirt road.

My big local training rides aren’t Natural Centuries, either.

The Gauntlet isn’t a Natural Century. 

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Riding around Utah Lake isn’t. Well, the photo below looks like it qualifies, but that’s only because it was that one time I took some detours that totally disqualified it.

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Or, sure, you can game the ride. Here’s the result when we went around the lake and then added a couple of neighborhood blocks so we could claim a 100-mile ride in under five hours:

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Awesome? Yes. Natural Century? No way.

Even an an out and back with a turnaround at exactly 50 miles…doesn’t seem to net me a perfect 100 miles:

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To be honest, I was beginning to believe the Natural Century just doesn’t exist.

But it does. There is such a thing as a perfect Natural Century. Better yet, it’s a point-to-point Natural Century. Even more better yet, it’s from a park by one lake to a park at another lake. 

Best of all, it’s a local ride, it’s an awesome ride, and it’s a local event.

It’s the Interlaken 100: Pineview to Bear Lake. It was August 22. The Hammer and I rode it, and this is our report.

The Second Prologue

Okay, now that I’ve gotten the longest story leadup in the history of self-indulgent blogs out of the way, let’s have just a little more leadup, in the form of context:

The day after racing the Leadville 100, The Hammer and I spent all day driving home to Utah. 

The day after that, I flew to Austin for work, and stayed there for most of a week. 

As I flew home on Friday, I started feeling tired and sore in a very unusual way. Like I was sick, and there was a large and painful sore on the back of my leg. I didn’t realize it at the time of course, but I was just starting my MRSA journey (no idea where or when that will end, BTW).

The next day — exactly one week after we had raced the LT100 — was the Interlaken 100. Which we planned to ride as if it were a race (i.e., push ourselves and try for a fast time).

Seemed like a good idea at the time. Although I can’t remember why we thought so.

Seriously, I’ll Be Getting to the Ride Itself Eventually

Actually, I’m just kidding about not remembering why we wanted to join the Interlaken: The Hammer would be racing LoToJa in about a month, and so couldn’t afford to let her fitness slip after Leadville. 

Also, we thought the idea of the ride was really great: ride 100 miles from one lake (Pine View Reservoir, near Ogden, Utah) to another (Bear Lake, in Bear Lake, Utah), on roads we haven’t ever ridden before.

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I was excited to be getting back on the bike; five days of forced “recovery” in a conference room had been plenty

So Saturday morning, we got up at four, ate, and made the ninety-minute drive out to Ogden. Sitting that long was uncomfortable for me, and the whole way up I worried that biking would hurt too. 

Our plan was simple: ride together, practice drafting, go at a solid pace for the hundred miles. 

There were free donuts for everyone at the packet pickup. This was my kind of ride.

We started in the second wave, at 8:30 am; the first wave had started at 6:30 am (waves were self-selected by riders based on how much time you thought you would need to ride the course).

Let’s Race. I Mean Ride.

There were probably around 75 of us at the start. The Hammer and I sorted ourselves to the back third of the group, not knowing how this was going to go from the beginning.

As it turns out, it went really well. Like, absurdly well. You see, the elevation profile for the Interlaken 100 is really simple: 

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Two climbs, lots of flat at the beginning and in between. 

And at least for the “at the beginning” flat section, we all rode together. Seriously, I am pretty sure that for the first ten miles, the entire group stuck together.

For those of us near the back, that equated out to darned near no work whatsoever for the first ten miles.

And for me in particular, it was even better than that. See, I’d — through blind luck — managed to get behind a big rider. And by “big,” I mean “tall and incredibly strong.” 

Riding behind him for may have been the easiest ten miles of my life. (For what it’s worth, I did try to move forward and pull him for a moment; he laughed and came back around. I got the sense I was doing him no good whatsoever.

As a 5’7” guy, I sometimes feel bad about the big guy / little guy draft disparity issue. I typically address this issue by eating a lot, in order to make myself bigger.

Because I care, that’s why.

A Farewell to the Pack

The first climb in the Interlaken 100 is a long one. Twenty-five miles long, really. That’s a long time to be going up.

But that climb starts really gradually. So gradually that at first I didn’t even realize that the road had turned up. Instead, I found myself wondering why this big guy I was behind was starting to fall off the pack.

I indicated to The Hammer to follow me and we swung around and in front of him.

“Grab on,” I shouted as I pulled around him. “We’ll bridge back to the group.”

And he did. And we did.

But the next time I looked back, he was gone.

The group had splintered; we had bridged to the back of the leading group. And there was a problem with that. The people we were behind kept falling off what I now realized was the climbing group. Which meant that The Hammer and I kept having to swing around and re-bridge back up.

After a few times, that got pretty old.

Kerpow

I decided it was time for The Hammer and me to take charge of our ride…as well as anyone else’s ride who wanted to come along.

“Grab on,” I yelled at The Hammer, and we rode to the front, right around twenty miles into the race. Which, coincidentally, was more or less when the road turns seriously uphill. 

I stayed there, with The Hammer in third or fourth position, for a few miles. Applying as much pressure as the group was willing to take, backing off just a little whenever The Hammer yelled at me to cool it. 

The group of twenty people turned to ten pretty quickly. Then to eight. Then six.

The Hammer, me, and four more guys. 

At that point, three of the guys swung around and started applying even more pressure. The Hammer, one other guy, and I couldn’t hang. 

The guy hanging on with The Hammer and me was struggling. Dropping back, then working hard to grab back on. And the thing is, he was a really nice guy, plus I figured if I could help him stay with us now, he’d be a valuable asset once we got down the other side of the mountain.

So a couple times, when he dropped back, I rode back and did my best to pull him up to The Hammer. 

But that kind of thing only works for a while, and we still had more than ten miles of climbing ahead of us. 

“I’ll see you guys later,” he said.

And now The Hammer and I were in fourth and fifth place, overall. 

Not that we were racing or anything. Because this was not a race.

And also, we didn’t have a plan to catch the three guys ahead of us.

Because, as I just noted, this was not a race.

Which seems like a good place to break off for part 2.

PS: Part 2 will come out on Wednesday, because tomorrow (Tuesday) I’ll be posting a new FattyCast episode. One which I am a thousand percent confident you will want to listen to.

 

An Open Letter to World Bicycle Relief

01.13.2016 | 3:35 pm

Dear World Bicycle Relief, 

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I’m an easygoing guy. You know I am. Except when I’m racing, at which point I am absolutely not easygoing. But this is not my point.

Also, the fact that I am usually easygoing is not my point, either.

I’m just saying that, generally speaking, I’m easy to get along with. That’s all.

And as an easygoing person, I don’t really go in for throwing my weight around. Except when I feel like it, or when my MRSA flares up or I don’t get a good night’s sleep for some reason.

Very occasionally, however, I feel like I need to throw my weight around for a reason that has nothing to do with grumpiness or whatever.

This is one of those times.

Here’s what I have to say, WBR, so listen good:

I demand you make Carlos Perea a 2016 WBR Ambassador

Why? I’ll tell you why. 

Because he’s pretty much the best ambassador you’ll ever have. He believes in the work you do. He’s ridiculously nice. He’s bold, creative, and effective in his fundraising.

He’s happy to talk to people. 

He is, more or less, your dream ambassador. 

Just look at all the comments below (which I am sure will begin accumulating at a ridiculous rate as soon as I post this). Everyone agrees with me. Except that one guy, and nobody likes or agrees with that one guy anyway. Ignore that guy. That guy’s a troll.

Anyway, I think I’ve made my case. I look forward to you crowning Carlos (because I also think you should give Carlos a crown and make him King of All WBR Ambassadors).

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Kind Regards,

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Fatty

PS: Anyone else who wants to apply, by the way, can click here to get started. And there can be more than one.

New FattyCast: Reba Rusch (aka The Queen of Pain) – Cyclist, Adventurer, Firefighter, Author

01.10.2016 | 12:08 pm

Reba Rusch is known as the Queen of Pain, but she’s a lot more than someone who just suffers well. She’s a firefighter, she’s an adventurer, she’s a racer, she’s an author, she’s a fundraiser, she’s a race promoter, and she’s an advocate for change.

In this new FattyCast, Reba and I talk about all of this, as well as have an argument about pie.

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Selfie on top of Columbine, in Leadville Colorodo

You can find this episode on iTunes, StitcherFattyCast.com, and via RSS feed.  Or just play or download it here:

 Big thanks to Reba for taking the time to talk with me!

Meet Up-and-Coming MTB Superstar…17yo Madeline Bemis (And Help Her Get to NZ)

01.7.2016 | 12:04 pm

Madeline Bemis — and people like her — are exactly the reason I started the FattyCast — because I love talking with people who are doing amazing things with bikes.

See, Madeline is a high school Junior and a racer on her local NICA team. 

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And on its own, that’s great. But she’s also a 12-Hour Solo race winner:

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And has…get this…Rebecca Rusch as her mentor:

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I got a chance to talk with Madeline recently in my podcast (available on iTunes, Stitcher, by direct download, and on FattyCast.com):

To say I was impressed is an understatement. She’s an amazing racer and person. 

Help Madeline Race in the 24-Hour World Championships

And here’s the thing: Madeline wants to step up her game to the next level and race in the 2016 World 24-Hour Solo MTB Championship, in Rotorua, New Zealand.

Yeah. I know: awesome.

But it’s expensive to do this race. As in, Madeline needs to raise $6000 to cover getting her father, coach, and self to the event.

Madeline’s already done the lion’s share of the fundraising necessary: as I write this, she’s raised $4610. She’s more than 3/4 of the way there.

I’d like to ask Friends of Fatty to get her to the finish line of her fundraising now…so she can concentrate on the getting to the starting line of the race itself.

Check out the video she’s made for her fundraising campaign:

Pretty impressive, eh?

Let’s Get the Fat Cyclist Logo on Madeline’s Jersey

During the conversation I had with Madeline, I had an idea: what if we got Madeline to her $6000 goal in one day? Would she put the FatCyclist.com logo on her jersey?

Yes, she in fact would. 

So I say, let’s do this. Let’s help an amazing young woman do something incredible. Go to bit.ly/teambemis and donate what you can. For what it’s worth, if you donate $50 (that’s what I donated) or more, you’ll get a tech-T showing your support.

And if we get Madeline across the $6K goal, that tech-T will include the FatCyclist logo on it. Which I can’t help but imagine would be hugely embarrassing for a teenager to wear. So that’s a good reason to make the donation right there.

I love that more and more kids are racing, and I love that they’re stretching themselves (and this is a major hint as to where my fundraising efforts are headed in 2016). 

Go make a donation, and then join me in anticipating the best race report ever.

[A Followup Note from Fatty: Within six hours of my posting this, Friends of Fatty hit Madeline’s fundraising goal of $6,000.00. Moments like this are incredible reminders that I have the best, most generous readers on the Internet.]

BRB

01.4.2016 | 2:44 pm

Hi there.

So I was all super excited to come back to the blog after my Christmas and New Years’ holidays. Because I have a lot of fun things I want to talk about, mostly in the form of catching up on my ride reports, and also in the form of getting a collaborative / competitive weight-loss thing going for the year.

But life has had a slightly different plan for me right now.

Remember how I talked about a MRSA infection I dealt with a couple months ago? Yeah, well, evidently that game’s not over. During the past ten days, I’ve been fighting a new one, and today I finally had to get a little bit of cutting done on me.

So I’m not at my best right now.

And I’ll be spending quite a bit of time at the doctor’s each day for the next week or so. 

What’s surprising to me is how exhausted I feel right now. And it’s not the good kind of exhausted I get from riding. It’s more of a too-exhausted-to-think, too-exhausted-to-try kind of exhausted. 

I think I’m not putting this very well, for the same reason.

I’m going to get the rest I need now, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Honest.

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