You Know You’re Blowing Your Diet When…

06.27.2005 | 4:17 pm

  • You fabricate reasons for why you shouldn’t check your weight.
  • You are gaining weight at approximately the rate you should be losing it.
  • You start thinking of the diet as an enemy, and have an eating binge simply to spite that enemy.
  • You have an ongoing weekly weight-loss sweepstakes, and miss the goal weight by five pounds.

Clearly, last week was a massive failure. I’ve got all kinds of reasons why I gained weight instead of losing it — work stress, inability to train because I was helping at Boy Scout camp, uniformly¬†fattening food at said camp — but none of them are valid. First comment w/ email address gets a $100 gift certificate, and the Sweepstakes jackpot gets reset to $25. Pffffff.

Today’s Weight: 177.4. And it’s raining so hard I couldn’t bike to work today. Nice.


  1. Comment by Kenny | 06.27.2005 | 4:32 pm

    I love you, but I’ll take your money anyway.

  2. Comment by Kenny | 06.27.2005 | 4:35 pm

    my email didn’t show up on the first one.

  3. Comment by Fat Cyclist | 06.27.2005 | 4:51 pm

    Well, that seems fitting. The Fast Cyclist winst he Fat Cyclist Sweepstakes. Nice job, Kenny.

  4. Comment by Robert | 06.27.2005 | 5:20 pm

    I’m first!

  5. Comment by Fat Cyclist | 06.27.2005 | 6:13 pm

    No you’re not. You’re second. Stupid.

  6. Comment by Robert | 06.27.2005 | 6:30 pm

    You’ll be hearing from my lawyer. I am withholding sex from my wife until this matter is resolved.

  7. Comment by Matt | 06.28.2005 | 4:17 pm

    Don’t go all meow-meow kitty on us. The fact that 99.7% of all other blogs follow that path doesn’t make it a valid model for online writing. Eat some fruit, drink water, and continue to rock-rule-and completely dominate. Or just lay off the salt.Meow meow,mc

  8. Comment by Unknown | 06.28.2005 | 5:29 pm

    well, i’m flummoxed. i have absolutely no idea what meow meow kitty means, but i am not terrified that i am such. meow. see? i hate myself now. that’s just fantastic.


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