Nyquil = Kryptonite

07.26.2005 | 5:22 pm

A few years ago, some friends and I went to Moab for a weekend of mountain biking. Unfortunately, just before the weekend, I caught a nasty cold. Rather than bail on the trip, though, I bought some Nyquil as we rolled into town, took a swig, and went to bed, figuring I’d get a good night sleep and ride in the morning.
The Nyquil did its job: it knocked me out cold.
The next morning we were riding Amasa Back — one of the very best trails Moab has to offer. Lots of climbing, lots of entertaining moves.
Now, back then, I was not a Fat Cyclist. I was the guy who beat you to the top of the climb (full disclosure: I would then politely offer to let you lead on the downhill, because I have always been a rotten downhiller – once I even wrote an article for Dirt Rag stating as much). I took lots of pride in that fact. So, imagine my dismay and amazement when I was immediately spat out the back of the group, and never was able to stay in contact for the rest of the ride. It was like my legs were made of lead, wood, and rubber bands.
Since I’ve ridden through numerous colds — the cold actually seems to temporarily vanish when I’m on the bike — I knew that I was suffering a Nyquil hangover. I put my head down and suffered through what I knew was outwardly a beautiful ride on a beautiful day.
I vowed never to take Nyquil again.
Flash Forward to Present
Last week, just as I was about to take off on a whale-watching tour with my family for a few days, I of course came down with a brutish cold. Knowing I wouldn’t otherwise be able to sleep in the hotel room, I bought some Nyquil (casually dismissing my earlier vow, as is my wont) and took a shot.
It worked like a dream. So I took it again the next night, and the next.
And then today, I felt like I’d better get back on my bike. After all, I’m riding the RAMROD this Thursday.
As of course you’ve guessed, I have no power at all today. On roads where I usually cruise at 21mph, I was going 17mph. And I was a no-show on the climbs. I hit the red zone immediately and had to back off way sooner than usual.
So the question on my mind is — how soon will the Nyquil Kryptonite effect last? The RAMROD, you see, is 150 miles long, with 11,000 feet of climbing. I’d like to have my legs back by then.
Today’s Weight: 169.8 — I’m actually pleased with this, considering that I haven’t ridden my bike in five days, and have been eating in restaraunts non-stop.


  1. Comment by Robert | 07.26.2005 | 5:42 pm

    Ha! You’re fat!

  2. Comment by Pete | 07.26.2005 | 7:49 pm

    As someone who has gone from 280 to 205 in 18 months (by unlimited veggies, little sugar, regular exercise), I can’t call someone else fat – if you don’t make your goal, maybe you can beat on yourself as"calorie-intake-challenged"? (and just to brown-nose, I enjoy visiting your blog)

  3. Comment by Chuck | 07.26.2005 | 9:51 pm

    Wow- pleased with a weight gain? That is the first step towards a huge letdown pigboy. You are fat buddy, quit making excuses and start losing (again)

  4. Comment by Unknown | 07.26.2005 | 10:18 pm

    faaaaat. waaaay fat. and addicted to nyquil no less. go back to the ephedrine stack.ps. fat.

  5. Comment by The Running Pol | 08.1.2005 | 3:07 am

    A comedian once commented about Nyquil. He called it the nighttime, sniffly, achy head, fever, knock you out in a coma and don’t wake up until the next morning medicine. It seems you can add "resulting in the most bizarre leg hangover ever witnessed" to that.As a clydesdale marathon runner, I envy the 169.8 lb statistic. My knees and back would kiss me and buy me a Corvette if I was down in that range.

  6. Comment by Nicolás | 08.24.2005 | 7:33 pm

    ok ok , vey good. haha

  7. Comment by Ruth | 08.25.2005 | 12:31 am

    You were fat…but not anymore. Way to go, keep it up, rah, rah, rah!!

  8. Comment by Sara | 08.25.2005 | 5:44 am

    Thanks fat kid. Two years ago, I bought a mountain bike, and went straight for local Corner Canyon, and started with what I thought was a sustainable pace. Three minutes later, as I leaned over my bike to hack up a lung, I was passed by a fat kid who was whistling, and said "hello" so casually nice. My mind translated "hello" as I’m kicking your skinny little out of shape butt. So because of him I started riding more and more. Went and got me a road bike, and ride one of the local canyons 4-5 days a week, and one 75+ mile ride per week. And intend to race all the local hillclimbs next year.(Utah is a GREAT place for climbers) I am not strong enough to win, but I can turn in a respectable time. So thanks to the fat kid in Corner Canyon for the last couple years of motivation. And to the comedian cyclist for the great website, your sense of humor is appreciated.


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