Can You Handle My Truth?*

09.19.2005 | 11:21 pm

The following statements are all true:

  • Ordinarily, I dwell on my blog entries. What will I write about? What do I have to say? Will it be funny? Will it be topical? Will I use more em-dashes than are allowed by law? Usually, I write them at night, when I have time to write.
  • Last night, I intended to write a clever little piece for Cyclingnews, after which I would write a clever blog entry for today. However, the clever little Cyclingnews piece turned out to be, um, longish. It was well past midnight before I finished it.
  • I figured I would write my clever blog entry for today during lunch. And yes — oh, yes — it is a clever blog entry. Oh so clever.
  • I just started a new job (same company, though), and was invited to lunch with some of my coworkers today. Barbecued wild boar was on the menu (at Microsoft, we often eat wild boar for lunch); how could I say no?
  • OK, toward the end of that last bullet point I stopped telling the truth. It’s a disease, really.
  • I have a few minutes right now. I could write my clever blog entry — the one I’ve been thinking of writing since last night — right now.
  • If you say the word "blog" five times in a row, you will inevitably be struck by the oddness of the word.
  • It is a beautiful, mild day. I could go on a ride right now. Instead of writing a clever blog entry.
  • It occurs to me that a bullet list of truths that lead up to an excuse for why I want to go on a ride instead of type makes for a very, very clever blog entry. Maybe even more clever than my original blog entry idea.

Today’s weight: 165.8


* With apologies to Ms. Britney Spears. Sorry, Britney.


  1. Comment by Unknown | 09.19.2005 | 11:27 pm

    Good for you! Get out and ride! Keep the shiney side up…

  2. Comment by Unknown | 09.19.2005 | 11:29 pm

    Darn misspellings… SHINY

  3. Comment by James | 09.20.2005 | 1:04 am

    For those of us who share the disease, the bullet list of "I’d rather X than ride my bike" is pretty short and probably mostly not suited to a family blog. I know "blog" is not on my personal list. But then I don’t have much of an audience.Also, I see I’ve missed a few opportunities to chastize you, so you need to write more about not meeting your weight goals. Ah, but the week is young…

  4. Comment by Daniel | 09.20.2005 | 2:55 am

    I made The Cake, by the way, and it was good. I did, however, commit the tactical error of using Nestle "retains shape in oven" milk chocolate nubbins, thereby losing most of the melts-and-runs-through-batter-during-baking benefit. Also, those particular chocolate chips aren’t really that nice, most likely due to whatever carcinogenic slime stops them from melting at almost twice the (metric) boiling point of water. Eww.The general consensus, though, was that it was a damn fine cake, and I should make it again, but with manually-chopped-up high-quality dark chocolate.Which I’m going to do tomorrow.Enjoy your ride and new set of Evil Empire minion duties…

  5. Comment by Unknown | 09.20.2005 | 3:03 am

    Congratulations on your new job!Un-congratulations on your new weight, but it’s temporary, right? Actually, 2 lbs. or so doesn’t seem too bad given the recent stuff-a-thon! And I still think it was a magnificent sacrifice on your part to make such a concerted effort to eat lots of cake, ice cream, and pizza to make your wife happy on her birthday.Also, I have heard that wild boar is denser than domestic boar, so that may account for some of it.Great blog! A change of tempo and funny at the same time.Bery crevah, you Chinese! (A line from some bad movie when I was a kid, I think.)

  6. Comment by Unknown | 09.20.2005 | 3:17 am

    wow, fatty, you are a god, when even an entry as, um, well, you know, as today’s gets "great blog" kudos. they like you, they really like you.

  7. Comment by pete | 09.20.2005 | 8:12 am

    I remember being really excited the first time I had wild boar. In my head, it was: "Wow! Wild Boar! These Romans are crazy, by Toutatis!" I was extremely disappointed when it tasted like pork.Incidentally, among Scottish clans "The" is an honorific applied to the Chief of the clan. Thus, there are many McDonalds but only one McDonald, who is referred to as The McDonald. As with McDonalds, so with Coshes!

  8. Comment by Glen | 09.20.2005 | 10:57 am

    Have just read your latest CN offering – I think I liked the "Lance intervention" better – I was still giggling like a schoolgirl five days after I read it (I’m not a schoolgirl…).p.s. won’t Uncle Bill get grumpy that you bought grumpy uncle Steve’s toy ??

  9. Comment by Unknown | 09.20.2005 | 12:58 pm


  10. Comment by kris | 09.20.2005 | 4:27 pm

    The natives are getting restless! Better break out the ‘Types of Roadkill’ or ‘Why I Ate a Block of Velveeta By Myself’ stories soon, or else.


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