As a person who has elected to be known to the world as "Fat Cyclist," I would think it’s safe to say that I have very few illusions about my how I look, where my blood pressure is, and what my cholesterol level is.
I would think that, but I would be wrong.
You see, at my fattest, I assumed that my cholesterol level would be high. And since every time I get my blood pressure checked, the checker says, "Woah, you’d better talk to a doctor about that," I’d assumed my blood pressure is a little high, too.
But I had a plan: don’t go see a doctor until I’d lost the weight and gotten full-force into healthy mode. And that’s pretty much where I am now. See, I’m not really fat anymore — I still have about ten pounds to lose, but that ten pounds will put me into my "serious racer" weight range.
So I figured it was safe to go see a doctor and get the lab work done, to verify that I am, in fact, a superb human specimen.
Don’t Panic. Well, OK. Go Ahead and Panic.
You know, there’s nothing quite like a voicemail from the doctor’s office to completely freak you out.
My blood pressure is high. My cholesterol is high. The doctor would like me to make an appointment to see him at my earliest convenience.
That’s all the voicemail said. So I, quite reasonably I think, have interpreted that to mean: "You are the middle-aged poster boy for a heart attack."
So, I called the doctor’s office this morning and set up an appointment for my earliest convenience, which is not until tomorrow at 5:00pm. This, conveniently, gives me 31 hours to blow this waaaaay out of proportion. Which is what I intend to do. If at all possible, in fact, I intend to have a heart attack before the doctor’s appointment, just to underscore how seriously I’m suddenly taking all this. Which is to say, I’m as serious as a heart attack. Literally.
OK, I’m done with that joke now. Let’s move on.
The Dumb Thing
You want to know what the dumb thing is, though? I’m not worried about short- or long-term medical implications, I’m worried about how this is going to affect my riding.
Today’s weight: 161.8 lbs.