06.12.2006 | 6:58 pm

Oh, hi. I seem to have forgotten: I have a blog. I could make up an excuse for why I haven’t written, so I will. However, my lawyer advises me to be vague, and to be misleading on several key points. So:
It has to do with string cheese, a large box of matchsticks, an omelette, and a limerick. It’s important to note that the final line of the lmerick didn’t rhyme perfectly with the first two lines of the limerick, and that it was debatable whether it had the proper number of syllables. Ie, certain words seem to have semisyllables when used by people from certain parts of the US.
There. I’m glad I could clear things up.
OK, Here’s Who Gets Free Stuff
I wish I could give everyone who posted a message something. Which is not the same thing as "something good," but definitely "something."
Instead, however, I will give stuff to people who wrote something I might be able to use when I talk later today to advertising types about what it’s like to be a superstar blogger.
  • Dug: Who’s been kind enough to write blog entries for me while I’m travelling for work and during the move.
  • The Beast Mom: Because she’s well-grounded and rightly points out that the main idea of all this is to have fun.
  • Jsun: Mostly because I like the way he spells "Jason." It’s witty.
  • Barry1021 or 2010 or whatever: Just so he’ll leave me alone, hopefully.
  • KeepYerBag: For noting the quality of comments is a crucial aspect of the quality of the blog. I have more than once noticed that I can say any ol’ thing here and you guys will pick it up and run with it.
  • RovingBroker: For correctly noting that the primary thing an advertiser should look for in a blog is great content.

To get your USB Flash Drives, email me (use for right now; my fatty @ email address is not currently accessible) with your address. I’ll give the addresses to my wife, who is much more likely to package and send your drives than I am.


Which Reminds Me

If you’ve ever won a contest from me and I’ve stiffed you, please send me email (, telling me which contest and what you should have gotten. During my move to UT in particular, I haven’t been as vigilant about mailing stuff as I should have been. Good thing this isn’t ebay; I’d have a horri ble ranking.



I’ve been talking with a guy about having my blog do something kind of special around a big upcoming race (no, not the Tour de France). We’re close to nailing it down, and it should mean some of the coolest stuff ever on this blog — and the coolest stuff I’ve ever given away by a factor of about 50. And yes, I’ve done my math right.


More on this soon.



I will post again. I mean it. Oh, and Dug promises he’ll post sometime this week, too. He says he’s interested in writing something for this blog once a week or so. Yay, Dug!


PS: In four hours, I’m talking to advertising professionals about my blog. I shouldn’t be nervous, and yet I am.




  1. Comment by Unknown | 06.12.2006 | 7:23 pm

    Congrats to the winners and great tease from Fatty. I’m sure we’ll all stay tuned in anticipation of a fabulous prize.
    I’d like to interrupt the regularly scheduled comments with a biking question. I’m asking for my husband, who is both stoic and rather reluctant to discuss issues of pain below the waist and above the legs.
    Basically, he’s got a really sore butt. But it’s not what I refer to as bicycle bottom. It isn’t what he’s sitting on. It seems to be possibly the ligament or muscle that connects the thigh to the hip.
    Sitting for too long is a problem. Stretching to reach something on the floor is painful. And, when riding he sometimes has pain behind the knee, even down to his ankle.
    My first thought was he’s trained too hard too fast, or maybe his seat is a touch too high.
    If you have experienced this problem and have found a solution, please share. My husband’s butt thanks you.

  2. Comment by Unknown | 06.12.2006 | 8:11 pm

    Becky, hold your husband up to the keyboard and shake him a bit, so we can hear what kind of noise he makes.  That will help us diagnose the problem. 
    In some seriousness, the pain behind the knee *can* be caused by a too-high seat, or a leg length issue (which is the same thing, differently expressed).  So too, a bit of pain in the front of the hips.  And, for some people, a too-high seat has the double bonus point of causing the pelvis to rock back and forth, right to left, which can result in lower back problems and saddlesores.  I’m not sure that a too-high seat is causing his trouble but it’s what caused my knees & hip to hurt a bit a couple months ago, and it also caused a stiff lower back.  My seat is down approximately 4mm over three or four adjustments during the course of the race season, and that has cleared up the knee & hip problems.  
    It’s entirely possible the problem is caused by something else – if the seat is too far back and he hyperextends a leg, that might do it too; if it’s only one leg he might have leg length issues and need Lemond Wedges to pad one cleat a bit, or perhaps might want to adjust the direction in which the nose of his seat points ever so slightly.  (These are just random fixes – not knowing exactly what his problem is, they are things you might try).  Moving the location of his cleats on the bad leg slightly forward or back *could* help, as long as it doesn’t cause other problems with the feet, the same as moving the seat slightly forward or back.  Some people use the KOPS method for this (look it up, my name ain’t Wiki) but there are other methods of determining proper fit.  Your hubby should probably look around for a good fitter in a bike shop to get a proper fitting – then carefully measure and mark where everything is.  Some people swear by the Serotta fit bikes.  Others have different methods of getting there – my coach worked with me making multiple passes on the fly to figure out the most efficient position.  It felt low at first, but works like a charm now.  Race oriented shops often have a good knowledgeable fitter, since the stresses of racing are pretty extreme and quickly reveal any weaknesses in form or fit.   
    Stretching every day using non-ballistic stretches and doing yoga should help him recover from this and prevent future injury.  If it is serious, or doesn’t clear up right away, it’s definitely doctor time, and may actually be Dr. time already.  Hold him up and shake him again…

  3. Comment by Unknown | 06.12.2006 | 8:28 pm

    Becky, I refuse to discuss sore butts. Refuse.
    P.S. dug (I’m bypassing Fatty, who seems to have become and impediment to the success of this blog) what do you think about getting a regular nite ride together this summer. Say once a week on Wednesday nite?

  4. Comment by James | 06.12.2006 | 8:29 pm

    Elden, talking to "advertising professionals" should always make you nervous.Thought for the day from Kent Peterson: "If
    you do not believe Easy Macs are one of the greatest foods ever
    made by the hands of man then perhaps you have ridden too slowly or
    perhaps not far enough."

  5. Comment by Christina | 06.12.2006 | 9:04 pm

    Thanks, FC.  Winning your prize makes my otherwise boring day complete.  :)

  6. Comment by Unknown | 06.12.2006 | 9:14 pm

    i didn’t win again. i now know the
    longer i can hold out and not win
    free stuff, the longer it proves the
    content of my comments is more enjoyable
    and powerful than those of you who have
    fallen to the corporate buyout gimmics that
    fc pushes. just so you can get some free little
    doodad.   SAD.
    sigh… i want free stuff. sniff.

  7. Comment by Unknown | 06.12.2006 | 10:03 pm

    botched, i say yes, yes to the regular night right thing. cool new trail up corner canyon i need to show you. and stuff, of course.
    however, i somehow fail to have your contact information. i am at
    no night ride this wednesday, racing up at sundance. come do that.

  8. Comment by Andrew | 06.12.2006 | 11:22 pm

    When I look at your vintage posts, they only had five or maybe ten comments each, but they were all well-written by very knowledgable biking addicts. They don’t seem to comment here anymore.
    Now you have us, and some of *us* are getting fed up with the "You rule, Fatty, now send me something free" abasement that we subject ourselves to, and to no apparent avail.
    I think you’re getting too big for your britches.

  9. Comment by barry1021 | 06.13.2006 | 12:24 am

    I won? I WON???? I WON!!!!! (wow write that three times and it starts to look like Chinese).
    YOU LOVE ME, YOU REALLY REALLY LOV…waaaaait a minute here! You think I just fell off the proverbial elliptical chain ring truck????? Check this out. Dug is kind, BeastMom is well-grounded, Jsun is witty because he spelled his name that way (OK I admit it, I never figured it out-I thought his name was Jusn and he misspelled it), Keepyerbag noted quality, RovingBroker noted great content…..and me?? Poor ole’ B21, who has typed his pudgy fingers to the bone??!!!??? What do I get????
    Just so he’ll leave me alone, hopefully.
    OK that’s cool, that’s cool, I can take it. After all, I realize I dish it out with my rapier-like wit, so I should be able to take it as well, right?? But then I figure it out–I have to send my ADDRESS. The next day, the response comes…on MICROSOFT stationary.
    Dear B21
    This is not an easy letter to write, but as you know, my blog has grown by leaps and bounds to the point that I am having meetings with advertising professionals. PRO-FES-SION-ALS. Whereas before, any comment was a welcome comment, my new status as a Very Important Blogger requires that my standards be raised. Please understand, I am under intense pressure from MSN, Dug, Gelati Girl, the Mormon Church, and the German Medical Society on this, and I regret to inform you that your presence on my blog is no longer welcome. I cannot remember, but if you ever won a prize before, please return it. However here is that picture of me in a speedo you requested.
    Best Wishes
    The One and Only Fat Cyclist
    ..and even in the remote case that the above is the vision of a manic paranoid narcissist with delusions of power (according to my doctor), I point you to THIS LITTLE DITTY:
    and the coolest stuff I’ve ever given away by a factor of about 50. And yes, I’ve done my math right.
    Ok I get it, I get the prize RIGHT BEFORE the coolest prize by a factor of 50. So even if (and IF is very important here), even if my prize should come, I KNOW that I have NO CHANCE TO WIN THE NEXT PRIZE, WHICH IS GOING TO BE 50X COOLER!!!! Y’know Fatty, I think it’s a good thing you are talking to some PRO-FES-SION-ALS. You could use a little help in the marketing department.
    So for the above reasons, and the fact that I already have about 10 USB flash drives (which ahem, I was given for FREE), I am renouncing my prize in the name of artistic freedom for bloggers everywhere.
    Why don’t you give it to BikeMike, man, that guy never stops complaining.
    and Pah!!!

  10. Comment by Unknown | 06.13.2006 | 1:00 am

    hey barry1021, take it easy champ, maybe you should stop talking for a little while.

  11. Comment by barry1021 | 06.13.2006 | 1:25 am

    You got it.

  12. Comment by joan | 06.13.2006 | 1:33 am

    Becky – The other possibility for your husband’s problem may be a Baker’s cyst.  They’re often painless but can become inflamed.  In addition, another issue could be bursitis which can occur anywhere you have a bursa (and there is one behind the knee).WD

  13. Comment by Conejita | 06.13.2006 | 8:49 am

    "The nice thing is, Nichole at MSN gave me a bunch of cool stuff to give away, if you’ll just answer a few blog-related questions."
    Yeah right Fatty.  You think were just a bunch of blood thirsty prize mongers dont you?  Heres how I imagine the real meeting with Nichole went:
    Nichole:  Do you think if you asked, your readership would give you some feedback about what they like and dont like about spaces?
    Fatty:  For FREE???!  Are you crazy?  They are ruthless, prize demanding mongers.  You dont know what Ive had to sacrafice for these people.  I gave away all my possesions when we moved and now I have nothing left but  my children.  Now granted I have four to choose from, but how do I pick?
    Nichole:  ohh….um …okay.  How about some flash drives and a Tshirt.
    Fatty:  That should be fine.  They like things that are shiny.

  14. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 06.13.2006 | 11:05 am

    So your absence was caused by an irishman giving you food poisoning??? 
    I think you owe Dug a bit more than a flash-drive.  He carried the can with vigor and aplomb in your absence, raising the tone several quite large notches in the process.
    You could give everyone "something".  Maybe a post-it with a smiley personally inscribed by the legendary fatty…
    Barry – say that 3 times and you sound chinese too.

  15. Comment by Jesse | 06.13.2006 | 2:49 pm

    I think perhaps Dug scared Fatty a little.  His posts were so entertaining and witty, he raised the bar.
    Good job, Dug.  I look forward to reading your future posts!
    P.S.  Fatty, I’m just playing to your insecurity… this is a great blog for the cycling obsessed!

  16. Comment by Unknown | 06.13.2006 | 3:12 pm

    barry, dear heart, i didn’t mean, like, forever. you just seemed like you needed to breathe into a paper bag there for a minute.

  17. Comment by Unknown | 06.13.2006 | 3:33 pm

    my apologies to those who are
    offended. just trying to have
    some fun.
    barry, thanks for the heads up
    kind sir.
    humility is a wonderful thing.

  18. Comment by regina | 06.13.2006 | 3:56 pm

    I thought it was funny bikemike, especially the the little snif at the end.  hey fc, here is a really nice ride for you, the middle of no where, really, it is one of the darkest places on the planet at night.  You would love it.  hope you decide to roll with it. later.

  19. Comment by Jsun | 06.13.2006 | 6:34 pm

    Well I have been following this lame blog for a while now and it is about time I was rewarded for my wasted efforts. 
    Its not easy reading the self-centered crap that this blog generates (comments and blog) and then make some witty comment (thank goodness my name spelling is witty).  Sure its informative (peeing, farting, and bike talk) and it serves the greater good in its quest to improve the quality of all human existance (peeing, farting, and bike talk), but is it really worth it.  Is humanity ready to improve? 
    Anyway, now that I have got what I came for, some kinda free shiny object that hopefully lights up too, my work here is done.  This will be my last post to the comment page. I haven’t enjoyed the FatCyclist blog at all.  Itsa weak excuse for writing and I really ought to be doing my real work before I get fired. See y’all tomorrow.

  20. Comment by Tyson | 06.15.2006 | 7:41 pm

    It could be Sciatica.  The Sciatic nerve runs from the hip to the toes and can get pinched if your butt muscles are "over developed".  When it does get pinched, it feels like a stabbing pain usually right in the butt, but it can run up and down your leg as well.
    I get it now and then, usually in the winter when I ride less.  There are stretches that can fix it if its not to bad.  Really bad cases require surgery though.

  21. Comment by Tyson | 06.15.2006 | 7:43 pm

    Comment below is directed at Becky in Indy:


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