Your Turn

10.16.2006 | 6:08 pm

Maybe it’s the gloomy weather. Maybe it’s the unusually high number of snide comments lately (probably also brought on by the gloomy weather). Maybe it’s that I’ve hit some sort of mental plateau, where I don’t feel like I have anything new to say.

Regardless, I’m not having fun writing this blog right now, and want to take a break from writing for a couple weeks.

But I don’t want this blog to die while I recharge my batteries. I know a lot of you have interesting stories to tell, and I’d like to read and publish them.

So here’s your chance to be the Fat Cyclist (a real dream come true, right?). Write something you think would go well in this blog — an epic ride story, a fake news piece, an observation about biking in general, or whatever else you like — and email it to me: If I like it, I’ll publish it. It’s that simple.

A few things to keep in mind:

  • Watch the length: Remember, most people are reading this blog during a work break. I’m not putting length restrictions on this because if I find something really long that I otherwise absolutely love, I’ll break it into a multi-part entry and post it. More likely, though, really long is going to hurt your chances.
  • Keep it clean. My kids read this blog; I’m not going to publish anything I wouldn’t want them to read.
  • Keep it topical. If it’s not at least tangentially related to biking, you might want to send your story elsewhere.
  • Keep it fun.

Don’t put your story in an attachment; put it right in the email body. You can attach pictures if you like, though.

While I’m Away
While I’m taking a break from writing, I’ll still be working on this blog. In fact, I plan to be adding some new stuff that should make Fat Cyclist a more interesting place to visit.

If that’s even possible.



  1. Comment by Andrew | 10.16.2006 | 6:47 pm

    I admit this blog has become a bit of a snark magnet. You’re so good-natured, it just seems to bring out the worst in us.
    the weak link

  2. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 10.16.2006 | 7:07 pm

    Hey, how ’bout this one: Knock, Knock.
    whose there?
    impatient cow.
    impatient cow (mooo) who?

  3. Comment by Unknown | 10.16.2006 | 7:56 pm

    FC, Please say it isn’t so.  See what all you snarky people did!  Now we are all being punished!  Keep your snarky remarks to yourself.  This blog is more appreciated than you know.  Some people just don’t know a good thing when they see it.  I think I will go make some mashed potatoes to comfort myself.  Hope to see you soon, FC.

  4. Comment by barry1021 | 10.16.2006 | 8:19 pm

    Wow! I have to think of something to write about, If FC publishes me, I can add it to my resume! B21
    PS That was not snarky.

  5. Comment by Lofgrans | 10.16.2006 | 8:54 pm

    The hard thing is for us Utahns the bike season is pretty much over, unless you do cyclocross. We have a blog ( it used to be about biking until Bob’s race season ended. Now I just write whatever pops into my pretty little head.  It seems my blurbs are not as appreciated as my husband’s race reports. So at least be thankful you still have readers.
    You are welcome to steal any of my past blogs and re-run them on yours. Some of Bob’s race reports are pretty good. You can also check them out at under Robert Lofgran’s race diaries.

  6. Comment by Unknown | 10.17.2006 | 12:22 am

    Damn, Fatty. 
    You mean that I’m going to have to WORK while I’m at work?
    Seriously tho’ – don’t let the buggers get you down, and hope to see you back soon.

  7. Comment by mtnbound | 10.17.2006 | 12:34 am

    FC,  Take some well deserved time off. You’ve earned it!  I never did figure out how you work, ride, build cool stuff, and spend time with your family (not to mention writing a detailed blog several times a week) without taking a break every now and then.  However, you definitely have not reached a mental plateau, as is self-evident from your thoughtful and humorous writing here and on randomreviewer.  
    While you have gotten some snarky comments as of late from a few, I don’t think its a strech to say most of us (particularly the quiet ones who don’t comment that often or at all) enjoy your witty and engaging style of writing (and pics) which keep us thinking of the joy riding brings to us while we slave away at work (so please make sure to come back when you feel rejuvenated). 
    Mtnbike W
    PS I think I’ve become addicted to your blog and looked forward to reading it.  What am I going to do now?

  8. Comment by Jsun | 10.17.2006 | 4:36 am

    Just when I find the time again (a 3 month old baby can be so demanding, sheesh) to leave a snarkment, we find out that such witicismisms and criticismisms are damaging to the celebrity blogger.  We should have known better, just look at what happened to Brad and Jen.  And without snidery, most of the regular commentors here may now have to go over to, where some non-famous guy named Eldon writes stuff and doesn’t mind such unfunny, depricating commentary.  Anyway, I wouldn’t even think about offering FC a story after Dug wrote a lovely letter, shared it with a close feind, only to be publicly snarked upon, right here on this blog (I searched, but couldn’t find the post).  Actually FC, I will send you something.  Snark attack away.  Thanks for keeping up the blagging.

  9. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 10.17.2006 | 10:51 am

    Here’s a pre-emptive strike…
    Jsun, you suck.  Thanks for taking the heat off the big guy though.

  10. Comment by Born4Lycra | 10.17.2006 | 12:18 pm

    Oh bollocks – I’ve just spent 20 minutes working on a very witty, clever little story with a twist and I’ve just discovered it’s garbage. It basically revolved around this Oz bloke on holiday in Utah riding on a trail and suddenly and unexpectedly riding his first teeter totter. I’m nowhere near as good as I thought I was at this blog stuff – it takes real talent what I don’t got. FC (I’m very tempted to say Short FC having discovered he is 5′8") don’t be gone too long. It’s not the same without you. But while I have your attention a question. If you go and stick your teeter totter out on some bush track do you incur any liability should somebody actually hurt themself on it.  You see there was this Oz bloke on holiday in Utah riding on a trail when suddenly ……. no never mind.
    Cheers don’t be gone too long

  11. Comment by barry1021 | 10.17.2006 | 1:25 pm

    Born4lycra, i think that has great potential–Oz finds himself not teetering or tottering but in perfect equilibrium, hesitant to do a Botched Reversal or go forward–frozen for the Utah winter. FC and Dug find him still there on their first Spring ride and try to figure out how to defrost him with just the basic tools they have with them. Could be a classic.

  12. Comment by Chad and Charlotte | 10.17.2006 | 1:31 pm

    Miss you already…

  13. Comment by Rocky | 10.17.2006 | 3:16 pm

    Looky here pal–you and your run-down batteries are cutting into my goof off time.  Though I don’t like to admit it, reading the flummadiddle that is your blog has become something of a habit.  You know, like the 3:00 o’clock sugar fix. And just because you are feeling a little "tired" and yada, yada, yada, doesn’t mean that I have to suffer, too.  Or does it?
    Now I see where you are coming from.  I might be part of the snarkiness problem.  If I promise to be kinder and gentler…  Ah, crap, that takes all of the fun out of it anyway.  Have a nice hiatus.
    So I guess I’ll see you in a few weeks.  Rumor has it that you will be in the neighborhood for a few days around Halloween.  Bring a bike.  I’ll help you recharge your batteries.  Do you have anything with more than 1.5 inches of travel? 

  14. Comment by Unknown | 10.17.2006 | 3:28 pm

    I think maybe your usually tough skin is thinning do to lousy weather, decreased riding time, and a bit of depression.  I think you should take a short vacation to a warm location.  Maybe you could send out those Fatty stickers while your’re on hiatus.

  15. Comment by Unknown | 10.17.2006 | 4:52 pm

    Oh fiddlesticks (since your kids read this).  I just found out my favorite online radio station went on hiatus, now my favorite blog is on hiatus, and it’s starting to get dark at 1:00pm around here.  I feel a long depressing winter coming.  I have no literary talent so I’m hoping some of the Guest FC’s can keep me entertained during lunch break.  Enjoy your R&R FC. 

  16. Comment by Jsun | 10.17.2006 | 6:28 pm

    BigMike-  Are you sure you’re an Ozzy?  Pre-emptive strikes are what we Americans do.  And since you said I suck you are now my sworn enemy, at least for the rest of the day.  You are either with us or against us.  The story I sent FC does suck, but its got pictures, and at least I sent him something.  pfffllt

  17. Comment by AMG in Texas | 10.17.2006 | 7:16 pm

      I hope you gain weight on your hiatus so you can get back to what brought me to you in the first place… losing weight riding a bike!  What? no more my current weight today is…  What is happening to blogdom???  I need those how to lose weight tips.  I need those recipes… the fad diets…the encouragement of losing a pound or 2!!!  Why don’t you write a piece on middle aged guys building a paunch that they cant get off???  Liposuction is definitely out of the question!!!  What about a "my bathroom scale is my worst enemy" bit?  What about a "Im so fat the only people I pass on my bike are joggers" piece?  Huh? 
    AMG in Texas

    P.S. Have fun while the rest of us watch SNL reruns:-)  I wonder if Beloushi ever did a Samurai Cyclist bit???

  18. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 10.17.2006 | 7:24 pm

    Born4 – You’re right, there’s a flaw in your story.  I don’t ride MTB’s so there’s no way your story would progress beyond the carpark at the trailhead.  And as for the liability thing.  If I was silly enough to become infected with MTB fever (which is never gonna happen, I practive safe cycling) and I fell off and hurt myself… that’s the point ***I*** fell off and ***I*** hurt myself.  I’m Australian.  We don’t sue.  We’re a lot like Americans but we’re not THAT alike.
    Barry1021 – Thanks, my fingers are getting frostbite just thinking about it.
    Jsun – U’r ‘murkin, aincha.  I can tell.  It was the "you’re eivver wit us or agin us" mumbo jumbo that gave it away.  We don’t need to be sworn enemies.  When you guys decide to serve up Kim Jong Il some of Saddam’s medicine, Australia will be right by your side.  We always provide 5 soldiers and a box of bandaids for every war we share.

  19. Comment by Unknown | 10.18.2006 | 1:47 am

    So when I submit a story it has to be on topic? Does writing about my favorite side dish count? I saw this hiatus coming a mile away after reading the now infamous Mashed Potatoes blog entry.

  20. Comment by Born4Lycra | 10.18.2006 | 2:37 am

    Hey Big M I was in fact the boy from Oz that stumbled across the teeter in my since abandoned story – literally. I only ride MTB’s occassionaly and even then very badly but when in Utah etc etc. I asked a local for directions. He warned me about Saskwatch (excuse spelling), wild goats, Bears, Moose Hunters, swooping bald eagles, snow, mud, other riders, blokes dressed in drag, heat and energy food and keeping all that in mind I round a bend and mount this brilliantly conceived, designed, built and positioned teetery tottery man trap thingy resulting in my somewhat spectacular mid air departure from trusty single 20 speed (can only use one at a time) MTB and i just want to know how much it is worth and who I ask for it. However the story was not working and I gave up. Must add I like Barry1021 (excellent choice of pic) idea that I freeze in the middle and am found during the big thaw by our hero and host and other riding luminaries of his acquaintance. Cheers all.

  21. Comment by Jill | 10.18.2006 | 7:18 am

    Say it ain’t so.
    How can guest writers replace the regular FC fix? Humor writing is such a rare talent; bicycle humor is that much more valuable. That’s why the legions of us come here. Hopefully Dug will submit some more guest blogs.

  22. Comment by Woody13Fox | 10.18.2006 | 12:52 pm

    FC, please don’t let a few knuckleheads get in the way of our happiness and amusement.  If necessary, I am prepared to start an international "Save Fatty" campaign.  Bored and overweight cyclists of the world, UNITE!!!  We must educate the world of the dangers of snarkyness (or is it snarkiness?) and what it does to one’s psyche.  I’m prepared to gather a team of highly motivated lawyers, publicists, and psychiatrists to combat this phenomenon and rid the world of snarky tyranny once and for all!!!

  23. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 10.18.2006 | 2:01 pm

    I am in no way responsible for Fatty’s sarcasm/criticism overload. I was misquoted.


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