Please Hold.

04.18.2007 | 12:01 pm

I’ve got the first 2.5 paragraphs written for what would normally be a very funny post — in fact, it’s one of those posts that would normally pretty much write itself.

But right now I’m in a little bit of a personal holding pattern and am completely unable to concentrate.

I know, I know. It doesn’t seem like writing this blog should require much in the way of powers of concentration. But I don’t have much concentration power available in the first place.

In short, today I’m useless, blogwise (and otherwise, for that matter).

I’ll explain soon. Meanwhile, if you’ve got any positive karma to spare, I’d take it.

PS: Bob sent me a link to a great video: Tour de Horse.

PPS: Today’s weight: 160.2


  1. Comment by swtkaroline | 04.18.2007 | 12:08 pm

    Take yer time…we’ll still be here. Happy, positive thinking and whatever good karma I might have accumulated in *not* retaliating for the April Fool’s post are comin’ your way….

  2. Comment by LanterneRouge | 04.18.2007 | 12:26 pm

    I’ve got some instant karma that you can have. Unless you’re one of those snobs who only takes the slow roasted kind.

  3. Comment by mbonkers | 04.18.2007 | 12:47 pm

    I just sacrificed a chicken in your name. Granted it was from QFC, and already roasted, and my lunch, but it’s the thought that counts right??

  4. Comment by mocougfan | 04.18.2007 | 1:03 pm

    Not much of a Karma guy, but my prayers are with you. Hope all works out.

    PS…mbonkers…. that was hilarious.

  5. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 04.18.2007 | 1:16 pm

    Forget karma. Chocolate chip cookies work better. Especially when the chocolate chips are m&m’s.

  6. Comment by KeepYerBag | 04.18.2007 | 1:19 pm

    Hope all is well, FC. I’ll forward all the karma I can spare and my prayers are with you as well.

  7. Comment by Monkey-Nine | 04.18.2007 | 1:43 pm

    Here’s the ultimate karma boost: trading positive feelings. I’ll send you some of my spare karma if you’ll send me some of your spare mojo for climbing Brasstown Bald on Friday morning before the Tour de Georgia goes that same way.

    Hang tight and write your own pace. I’ll hang tight and ride my own pace.

  8. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 04.18.2007 | 1:57 pm

    Based on Bob’s lack of commenting, I thought you and he had a huge falling out. I know that personally, he and I haven’t spoken since our political discussion on the way back from fall moab.

  9. Comment by eclecticdeb | 04.18.2007 | 2:05 pm

    Good karma, supportive thoughts, and waves of positive energy are on the way. Have you felt it yet?

  10. Comment by kevin | 04.18.2007 | 2:21 pm

    i will wave and smile nicely to ALL mororists (even the ones who deserve the finger) , feel free to use the good kharma generated from this


  11. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.18.2007 | 2:35 pm

    I’m with Mrs. Coach – You need some chocolate chip cookies. Wait, I thought Dug made the world’s best…. You didn’t actually run him over when you saw him on the solo ride did you?

    Oh, prayers & God’s blessings for you as well….karma?


  12. Comment by MTB W | 04.18.2007 | 3:11 pm

    Take your time. Don’t worry about writing any new posts until you are ready. You have given me many smiles and laughter so the least I can do to return the favor is to support you when you need it. My thoughts are with you and your family.

    Like Mrs. Coach, as my mom always said, a chocoloate chip cookie and milk (or in your case, maybe M&M’s and milk) will take your problems away (at least for a short while). If that doesn’t work, a long road or mtn bike ride may work wonders to clear the mind. If that doesn’t work, rent a motivational movie, maybe something like Rocky.

  13. Comment by Lins | 04.18.2007 | 3:48 pm

    With you our thoughts are. (Yoda has strong Karma or something)

  14. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 04.18.2007 | 3:51 pm

    Hey, Mrs. Coach, can you ask yer husband something for me (this is also called mooching free coaching advice)?

    Saturday, April 28th Fatty’s friend Kenny is holding the anual RAWROD (ride around white rim trail in a day). It’s 104 miles. Off road. Anyhoo, I was thinking about riding a road century (or more) this Saturday, which is 1 week before the ride.

    I seem to remember there being about a two week lag between a physiological stress and any adaptation to that stress, so riding a bunch one week before the big ride won’t make my any more confortable during the ride, it will just make me more tired.

    Is that right? Or should I do the road century?

    P.S. One of Fatty’s tag lines for the blog used to say something about “giving bad advice.”

  15. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 04.18.2007 | 5:27 pm

    I paid a compliment to a stranger. Then later I swerved to avoid hitting a cat with my car (it’s rare for me to do this… swerve that is). I think that earns me 2 full Karma points. Of course with the exchange rate being so strong at the moment I think you get close to USK1.8 (United States Karma points) rather than the normal 1.6. I know it’s not much but every little bit helps.

  16. Comment by Al Maviva | 04.18.2007 | 6:08 pm

    Okay, here’s the deal.

    You want advice? What Michael Rasmussen says is the best. “Just keep looking at your front wheel. The hill isn’t so depressing that way.” Translating that out of 115 pound anorexic climber speak, that means ‘do the little tasks, don’t worry about the big long range stuff right now.’ Of course what Bobke says works better for me since I’m not much of a climber – “never relinquish your belt in a riot.” Words to live by.

    As for prayer and stuff… I’ll say a prayer for whatever it is you have going on. God loves sinners, especially the ones who find it in themselves to occasionally repent, so my prayers are especially powerful. Y’know, given the rest of my record, which is impressive but not in a very good way.

    As for the straight up karma thing… not sure I have a lot to offer. I’m usually on the bottom side of that equation. I refrained from hopping over the desk and choking a client who desperately deserved it today. You want the karma from that? (Yes, I actually think about strangling clients sometimes… not often… and only for their own good. Those of you who are doctors, lawyers, accountants and plumbers will understand *exactly* what I’m talking about. Those of you who are clients of doctors, lawyers, accountants and plumbers will, thankfully, have no idea what I’m talking about.

    In all seriousness (something I have little of at this time of night, having spent my seriousness reserves earlier in the day) hang in there and know that you have a lot of supporters, a lot of friends you’ve never met pulling for you, whatever challenge you’re facing right now.

    Unless it’s a shirtless wrestle-off against your brother-in-law, in which case we’re all pulling for Rocky, but totally understand why you are in a state of paralysis. Nobody likes wrassling a wookie.

  17. Comment by Born4Lycra | 04.18.2007 | 6:15 pm

    I can see some huge FC outgoing karma on the horizon. FC Tops spreading out all over the globe. I’m confident right this minute all those expectant FC Top receivers and your other readers are radiating their best karma back to you. Take it easy, work through it comfortably and as SWTkaroline said right up front we’ll be here when you are ready.
    Take care and all the best

  18. Comment by Born4Lycra | 04.18.2007 | 6:21 pm

    I wrote my post and submitted it imbetween Al Maviva had done his. He has said it so much better. Good stuff AM

  19. Comment by bikemike | 04.18.2007 | 6:23 pm

    comfort food and a big nap.
    we’re holding.

    positive attitude changes everything!

    i’m positive, well, almost. yep, i’m positive.

  20. Comment by Miles Archer | 04.18.2007 | 6:34 pm

    Take your time. We’ll all be here when you get back.

  21. Comment by DOM | 04.18.2007 | 6:36 pm

    I helped a lady load some heavy bags of tile adhesive on a cart at the big box home improvement store. You can have my Karma. Now I wish I had helped her load them into her truck.
    Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. We’ll keep a light on for ya.

  22. Comment by Byrdbth | 04.18.2007 | 8:28 pm

    So this has nothing to do with your post..but can you believe that a 29 min break-away today in the Tour de GA? I was there to witness it, but it was crazy..

  23. Comment by cheapie | 04.18.2007 | 9:41 pm

    lol. is that suspender advert for real?

  24. Comment by KatieA | 04.18.2007 | 10:31 pm

    I didn’t yell at my boss for you – I hope it helps (cause it certainly took a lot of effort).

    I agree with some of the others – go and have some nice, fattening comfort food. How about I send some meat pies over? Sausage rolls? Pasties? All covered in pastry, and very good for making anything better.

    Take your time FC, we’ll all be here when you get back in sync. (Although Botched may have tried to steal your coach…)

  25. Comment by Weean | 04.18.2007 | 11:06 pm

    I’m gonna try and not swear at any motorists on my next ride home (that’ll be tomorrow- took the train today), although I’m unconvinced that will actually generate any good karma.

    But the work cafe is selling lemon sponge today- they only sell hot puddings for half the year (the colder half), and today might just be the last day. Not wishing to impinge on your B7 successes to date (hmmm, mrs Coach, Bikemike, MTB W?), I’m willing to do some comfort eating on your behalf. That’s just the kind of guy I am.

  26. Comment by Ian Hopper | 04.19.2007 | 12:28 am

    Tour De Horse is hilarious: I posted it on my blog. I’ve never been able to transfer karma effectively, but I’ve been known to send the occasional positive energy packet along the cosmic datapipe and actually have it successfully received, so I’m sending one your way…

  27. Comment by allan | 04.19.2007 | 2:06 am

    Every positive vibe I have is headed out to you man. Hope everything works out for the best.

  28. Comment by Tg | 04.19.2007 | 2:09 am

    Fatty, sending positive thoughts and prayers your way. Sounds serious, so go ahead and take a family leave of absence. It’s funny, I don’t even know you, but I found myself worrying about you last night. Take care.

  29. Comment by Uncadan8 | 04.19.2007 | 3:41 am

    My thoughts are with you, fatty. Hope all turns out well. And like the others are saying, get some good comfort food in you. That will make me feel better, since I am so far behind in the B7, and then I maybe I’ll do something nice for somebody, and then you’ll get your karma. It’s a perfect plan!

  30. Comment by Boz | 04.19.2007 | 4:49 am

    Hang in there, fatboy! I’m trying to dig up a new vibe for you, as my karma ran over my dogma.

  31. Comment by Den | 04.19.2007 | 5:36 am

    Saying some positive prayers for you…

    Watch out for the horses! You should tie that video in with your jerseys somehow!

  32. Comment by Lissee | 04.19.2007 | 6:05 am

    There are spattered spots of good karma all over NYC, I’ll see if I can round some up and send it your way. I think it’s down by Wall Street . . . I work up town so it may take me a while to get down there.


  33. Comment by msk | 04.19.2007 | 6:08 am

    unfortunately, as of late, i have been a very bad boy and thus don’t have alot of good karma to go around

    but certainly my thoughts and prayers are with you

    if i ever redress my karma balance (may even happen tonight) you will be the first to get some



  34. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 04.19.2007 | 6:19 am

    Born4 – you’ve probably inadvertantly uncovered the true issue. Fatty’s come down with a case of food poisoning from licking all the envelopes from the mass mail out of jerseys.

  35. Comment by ChinookPass | 04.19.2007 | 7:02 am

    Fatty, hang in there. We’ll wait. This is a no-drop ride.

  36. Comment by MAJ Mike | 04.19.2007 | 7:33 am

    (New commenter here)

    You can have all my good vibes that result from not choking out any senior officers who lost a bit much in their lobotomies. Get things un-screwed and come back better than ever. Cycling is about suffering and things being better when the suffering ends. Nobody does it better than a fat cyclist. Best of luck!

  37. Comment by Caren | 04.19.2007 | 8:31 am

    Karma – hmmm, probably don’t have any reserves. But sending good thoughts your way that is something I am definitely capable of doing!

    Hope everything turns out well!

  38. Comment by sans auto | 04.19.2007 | 8:52 am

    I know you didn’t ask me, but I don’t really care, I’m goign to respond anyway because it was really a good question.
    I don’t think the century on Saturday will hurt your performance next week (assuming that you have been riding regularly up to this point in the year and are in shape to do the first century). I also don’t think it will help you as far as training goes. One week is not enough to really elicit a training response.
    There really isn’t much muscle breakdown in cycling (as compared to running or other high impact sports), so recovery isn’t a big deal. Eat lots of carbohydrates, drink lots of water and make sure your electrolytes are fully replenished and you shouldn’t have any problems.

    Forget the “comfort foods” and go out for a bike ride and hammer so hard that you can’t see straight and then turn around and sprint home. There is no better way to get your head in the game. Hope all is going well for you.

  39. Comment by monkeywebb | 04.19.2007 | 10:27 am

    Since you haven’t pushed my guilt factor for not doing this month’s TT I owe you way more than karma. I tore my left calf muscle (or something near it) while doing some super aggressive standing still on March 31 and am just now getting to the point where I can stand on pedals again. Who knew standing around could be so dangerous?

    It appears that most of those posting here don’t really know how to measure karma. It’s measured by the pound (or kilogram, stone, dram, carat, etc), not by “points”. I’ve lost around 25 pounds of body mass and haven’t cashed them in any way yet. I’ll have them converted to karma and delivered forthwith.

  40. Comment by rexinsea | 04.19.2007 | 11:51 am

    I’ve dedicated this morning’s work out to you (glorious WA spring morning complete with sunrise and song birds) and will continue to do so. Hopefully the positive energy will translate to good karma for you.

    Take care of business at home. The bolg can wait! Good luck.

  41. Comment by Brewinman | 04.19.2007 | 12:11 pm

    If monkeywebb is correct, then I have about 30 units of karma available for your immediate consumption, in addition to the “emergency fund” I keep around for situations like this. I will overnight them to you forthwith. Keep your head down and your feet in the pedals. This too shall pass.

  42. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 04.19.2007 | 12:23 pm

    Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. I will refer you to the Contact page of his website. He’d be more than happy to answer your question and I’ll tell him to expect your inquiry.

  43. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 04.19.2007 | 12:32 pm

    I’ve even put the link here so you don’t have to scroll all the way back up the page. I know you doctors are busy.

    BTW- I think its pretty cool that so many people here are so gracious and concerned without even knowing anything. The cycling community truly rocks.

  44. Comment by the weak link | 04.19.2007 | 5:27 pm

    Karma credits. What you need are karma credits. Offsets, if you will, ala Al Gore.

    I will sell them to you. I got lots.

    $10 — enough good karma to cover forgetting to brush your teeth.
    $20 — enough to cover telling your wife that you’re stuck in the office when you really went for a bike ride.
    $250 — to cover selling one of your children into slavery.
    $500 — to cover voting Republican.

    Seriously, I sense this is not about you but about someone very close to you. Prayers have gone out.

  45. Comment by SYJ | 04.19.2007 | 5:56 pm

    I’m not a big player on the prayer scene, but I like to think that I have a lot of good Karma coming to me…either that, or I was a real piece of work the last time the wheel went around. Regardless, I’m pretty confident that I earned some today, and 100% will be aimed directly at you and yours.

    Godspeed, Elden.


  46. Comment by Caloi-Rider | 04.19.2007 | 8:52 pm

    Hang in there, Fatty.
    Hey, if a weekend vacation to Idaho would help, you’re welcome to my couch. Although, I should probably mention that none of the trails around here have actually lost their snow yet, and it has, in fact, snowed twice this past week. Translation: you’d need to bring the Silk instead of the Rig.
    Seriously, though, let me know if there’s anything I can do. I’ve been reading this blog of yours long enough that you’re more like family than some of my family.

  47. Comment by Neil Brennen | 04.20.2007 | 3:47 am

    Best wishes for a speedy and successful resolution of the problem.

  48. Comment by GenghisKhan | 04.20.2007 | 10:48 am

    I’ve run out of karma A-K and also seem to have run out of karma L (which is a shame, ‘cuz it’s homemade and oh, so very, (i) very (/i) good!), but I do have some chocolates I could send your way… Mmmm, chocolate… On the serious note, as did others, I wish you my best. GK

  49. Comment by LMouse | 04.21.2007 | 11:11 am

    I guess I don’t really understand the idea of karma; I’ve never seen it actually work the way it’s supposed to. (I mean, look who’s still in the White House.) But I’ve found that prayers usually work. So my prayers are with you. And my best wishes.

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