My Life Can Be Easily Summarized With a 30-Second Cartoon

07.8.2007 | 9:00 pm

Q. How do you know for absolutely, postively certain that your rollercoaster weight gain-loss lifestyle is a ridiculous, predictable pattern?

A. When your 13-Year-Old son accurately lampoons the story of your life in a cartoon he made over the weekend.


PS to My 13-Year-Old: You’re grounded.


  1. Comment by spbarnes | 07.8.2007 | 9:10 pm

    Hey, the other way to know is that nobody bothers to make a cartoon
    to document it.

  2. Comment by Shadow Scythe | 07.8.2007 | 9:14 pm

    Grounded? Oh, that’s not good.

  3. Comment by Dave Nice | 07.8.2007 | 9:33 pm

    Nice! well done!

  4. Comment by LanterneRouge | 07.9.2007 | 1:50 am

    Dave, have you recovered from GDR?

  5. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 07.9.2007 | 2:02 am

    He’s grounded? your’e the one that splorped!

  6. Comment by Graham | 07.9.2007 | 2:22 am


    The kid’s a got talent. (I’m still laughing at it)

    Anyway, there’s no need to ground him – just sit on him!

  7. Comment by Tg | 07.9.2007 | 2:56 am

    FC—We haven’t seen a weight posted in a while. Is Shadow Scythe trying to tell us something? Thanks for the laugh, Shadow Scythe!

  8. Comment by Uncadan8 | 07.9.2007 | 3:09 am

    Sadly, this cartoon accurately portrays my eating habits as well. (Sigh) What’s a fat cyclist to do?

  9. Comment by Christine | 07.9.2007 | 3:28 am

    After he’s done being grounded can I commission him to make a few cartoons for me? These are hysterical!

  10. Comment by Yukirin Boy | 07.9.2007 | 3:30 am

    plenty two splorps !
    Give Shadow Scythe a regular spot!
    still laughing

    By the way, how was the goat?

  11. Comment by DOM | 07.9.2007 | 3:31 am

    The cartoons keep getting better! Great stuff. I’ll have President Bush consider commuting his sentence.

  12. Comment by mocougfan | 07.9.2007 | 4:52 am

    Hillarious. It takes serious skills to eat a goat whole.

  13. Comment by Bashzilla | 07.9.2007 | 5:35 am

    Ouch! The truth is painful… and apparently filling.
    Fatty Jr rocks!

  14. Comment by sans auto | 07.9.2007 | 5:47 am

    I liked the frog-like tongue action used to catch the goat. Is that also true to life?

    Great cartoon Shadow Scythe.

  15. Comment by chtrich | 07.9.2007 | 6:40 am

    Second the question on the weight.
    And where’s your July TT results? Curious minds want to know.

  16. Comment by Al Maviva | 07.9.2007 | 7:57 am

    Dom, aren’t you being a bit tough on the President? After all, I’m sure we all have trouble commuting sentences sometimes. Most of us learned us good grammar at some point, but a miserable failure to do so isn’t criminable, neither should it be.

  17. Comment by buckythedonkey | 07.9.2007 | 8:44 am

    Dave Nice, >700 mountain miles on a fixie? Tell all!

  18. Comment by 2Phat | 07.9.2007 | 8:44 am

    Shadow, too funny! I have introduced your cartoons to the “Core Team” and to numerous other Phatties. Without failure, each and every one of them has busted out laughing. Jib Jab should be knocking down your door and giving you a sweet contract any day now.

    FC, any chance you will demo the goat eating talent in person? Maybe when you organize a FC faithful Lone Peak/Hog Hollow ride? I hear those Mtn. Goats are running amuck and the herd needs to be culled…FC to the rescue!

    NOTE: Twin Six – ordered several jerseys and socks in June…still waiting…come on guys I’m getting ready to ride “Across America” and need the goods. If you don’t deliver soon, I am going to Splorp!

  19. Comment by Kathy | 07.9.2007 | 10:12 am

    As I write this I am wearing my pink lemonade fat cyclist jersey. I look so good, I am afraid to post a picture and break all the male hearts out there. Seriously, this is the most attractive cycling jersey I have ever owned. If there was a competition for the most beautiful jersey I would send in my picture and win. Thanks, Fatty! Thanks Twin Six! And thanks for making us all smile, Fatty Jr.!

  20. Comment by MAJ Mike | 07.9.2007 | 10:15 am

    But aren’t goats made of lean meat…?

  21. Comment by bikemike | 07.9.2007 | 10:48 am

    holy freaking cow, that was funny.
    fatty, no goat for you!

    if your son ever shifts his talent to bike riding, look out.

  22. Comment by TG | 07.9.2007 | 11:24 am

    Kathy, I am soooo jealous! I didn’t get mine yet. I ordered it the very first day. Maybe tomorrow?!? Sniffle.

  23. Comment by TG | 07.9.2007 | 11:24 am

    Kathy, I am soooo jealous! I didn’t get mine yet. I ordered it the very first day. Maybe tomorrow?!? Sniffle.

  24. Comment by Clydesteve | 07.9.2007 | 11:41 am

    As often is the case, the context-specific google ad is ironicly funny: Hi, I’m James Zeta, and I am going to show you how I lost 18 pounds in 4 days. (Q: Don’t goats weigh more than 18 lbs.?)

    Shouldn’t that kid just shave his peachfuzz and go back to school? (James, I mean, not Shadow.)

    Free Shadow Scythe! Free Shadow Scythe! etc. etc.

  25. Comment by KT | 07.9.2007 | 12:25 pm


    Man, I just ate lunch. Now my tummy hurts. Laughed too hard.

    Shadow Scythe ROCKS!

    2Phat, I have also introduced Fatty Jr aka Shadow Scythe’s cartoons to my Core group. They want me to use Plentysix and Plentytwo on our next time-speed-distance rallies. Yeah… no. No one else would get it.

  26. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 07.9.2007 | 12:43 pm

    That was freakin’ awesome!

    I hate when my tumbly gets rumbly.

  27. Comment by Dave Nice | 07.9.2007 | 12:45 pm

    Still a bit tired but almost back to snuff…..

    Really damn hard and I’m working on the story =)

    Next week i’ll be trying the Colorado Trail race on the fixed =)

  28. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 07.9.2007 | 12:53 pm

    That’s really funny. REALLY.

  29. Comment by Fritz | 07.9.2007 | 12:55 pm

    Where’s the cartoon? I don’t see it…

  30. Comment by LanterneRouge | 07.9.2007 | 1:06 pm

    This documentary series is really quite fascinating.

  31. Comment by Not So Skinny Cathy | 07.9.2007 | 1:17 pm

    OMG!!! That cartoon is freakin’ hilarious!! Fatty Jr., you rock! You are SO much funnier than your dad! He is only grounding you cause he is jealous. And afraid.

    Got my pink jersey today – it is fab. Too bad I ordered one size too big and had to send it back. Hopefully I’ll get my replacement soon.

  32. Comment by kentucky joe | 07.9.2007 | 1:50 pm

    the sound effects and the background muzak are just about all I can take….I laughed for plentytwo minutes straight plus I have a sudden hunger for..goat

  33. Comment by Rokrider | 07.9.2007 | 2:03 pm

    Ah yes, who among us wouldn’t ride plentytwo miles for a nice, fresh, juicy goat? And to think, all this time I’ve been choking down those stupid Clif Goat Bloks.

  34. Comment by lowrydr | 07.9.2007 | 2:28 pm

    Once again the infamous Shadow Scythe has hit the nail on the head. Man is there an Oscar in the future or what.

    Come on Kathy give us a picture, please?

    Nice Azspritzen there TG.

    Keep up the good work Fatty & best Karma to Susan too!!!!!!!!!!!!

  35. Comment by JET(not a nickname) | 07.9.2007 | 3:28 pm

    That’s absoluetly hilarious!

  36. Comment by Jeremy | 07.9.2007 | 5:13 pm

    Did anyone else notice the fact that BikeSnob sells all of the jerseys we ripped last week? Nice pop up.

  37. Comment by velokitty | 07.9.2007 | 6:05 pm

    Fatty Jr. has just successfully described half the riders I know (including myself)! Seriously funny stuff!

    Am soo jelus of Kathy and her jersey! Me too me too!! Where’s mine? Texas must be a long way from Minnesota. :*(

  38. Comment by Hyygeia | 07.9.2007 | 6:30 pm

    From the mouths of babes ….. :)

  39. Comment by Mehera | 07.9.2007 | 8:03 pm

    Love my new pink jersey. I’m wearing it right now and I’m pretty sure I am typing faster. Thanks Twin Six. Thanks Fatty!

  40. Comment by Rider34 | 07.9.2007 | 8:38 pm

    Shadow……keep up the awesome work.
    If any of you remember the first few episodes of the Simsons and South Park, the comedy was just as funny as Fatty Jr.’s and the art was as rudementary. What a real future he has! The next great cartoon series. Now just come up with a catchy name. Any one got any ideas for a title?

  41. Comment by Conejita | 07.9.2007 | 10:26 pm

    you know someday that fatty junior is going to be a famous comedien or author or something and every interview will go something like this:

    Interviewer: So where did did your sense of humor come from?

    Fatty Junior: Well this one time my dad, who goes by the name of fatty, did an epic ride and I was watching him inhale 13 burritos is 7 minutes when…….

  42. Comment by Kathy | 07.10.2007 | 6:02 am

    I was at an organized ride a few weeks ago (century plus shorter distances) and I noticed that a good portion of the riders there were obviously overweight. First I thought, “Why are there are so many fat people at this ride?” Then I thought, “Can you imagine how much fatter we’d all be if we didn’t ride?” Splorp!

  43. Comment by 2Phat | 07.10.2007 | 6:33 am

    UPDATE: Pink “Susan Will Win!” Jersey

    “We received the Fat Cyclist jerseys last Friday. Most have been shipped, all will ship by the end of the week. Thanks for your support.”

    Ride with Pride,
    Twin Six

  44. Comment by Susan (another one) | 07.10.2007 | 7:41 am

    I received a certain pink jersey yesterday, which happened to be my birthday. Looking good. & first Twin Six jersey, but won’t be my last. Love the cut on the women’s jersey.

  45. Comment by TimK | 07.10.2007 | 7:54 am

    Riding on the Blue Ridge Parkway with my wife last week I began moaning about not having a Cliff Bar in the Camelbak when I got hungry. It never occurred to me that all those cows and goats we passed could have been mine with a simple splorp.
    I’ll have to remember to bring a packet of curry for the goats though.

  46. Comment by Brewinman | 07.10.2007 | 7:58 am

    My son (6yo) is rolling on the floor laughing after watching the video for the 6th time. Shadow must be freed!

  47. Comment by AMG in Texas | 07.10.2007 | 9:11 am

    Roaring out loud with laughter!!!! Fatty Jr. you ROCK!!
    My wife and I recieved our Pink lemonade jerseys yesterday and they fit so nice and are SO cool!! Thanks Twin Six!! Thanks Fatty!!!

    When I tried mine on, my wife said… “that tummy looks dangerous… you should see a doctor”. Now, I am certain that the cartoon had my likeness and image in it… can I sue??? He was even bald (with skinny legs)!!! Too close for comfort there Jr….

    Now all I need to do is get the old bike out of the storage shed now that my kitchen remodel is done (almost done)… There are LOTS of Yummy deer over here in central texas… splorp!!!

    Best wishes for Susan. Win!!

    AMG in Texas

  48. Comment by wndnh2o | 07.10.2007 | 9:54 am

    Just got my jersey… my first by the way. What can I say? Can’t wait to finish the check list.

    Fatty Jr. you got mad skills! ;}

  49. Comment by velokitty | 07.10.2007 | 11:33 am

    Aww, I’m sad… Twin Six says they oversold my size, so I won’t be getting a Pink Lemonade jersey afterall :*(

  50. Comment by Bitter | 07.10.2007 | 4:22 pm

    I got my jersey’s in the mail today!!! Yippeee!

  51. Comment by Logan | 07.10.2007 | 5:45 pm

    Fatty Jr’s comic timing is spot on. He’s like the Scott Adam’s of the blog-specific cyclist-satire world.

  52. Comment by Logan | 07.10.2007 | 5:45 pm

    Fatty Jr’s comic timing is spot on. He’s like the Scott Adam’s of the blog-specific cyclist-satire-movie world.

  53. Comment by Andrea | 07.10.2007 | 6:51 pm

    Great job, Fatty Jr. You have real talent.

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