09.2.2007 | 3:07 pm

I love putting on contests. I don’t know why, but I always get excited when I can get ahold of a prize and give something away. Maybe part of it’s that I personally have never won anything at all in a contest, so I’m trying to get the thrill of winning vicariously.

Part of it’s that I have a gift: I’m not afraid to ask for stuff. Long before blogging even existed, I asked Rock Shox for a Judy SL, promising I’d feature it prominently in an educational video I was helping with. Amazingly, they gave us three (I got one, Dug got one, and the guy who was actually doing most of the work on the video got one). Now, of course, I mostly ask for stuff on others’ behalf, although I usually wind up with something for myself, too.

And part of it’s that when I do a contest, I get lots of comments without having to do much work myself. Bloggers live for comments, and I read every single one — usually a couple of times.

Eventually, though, the contest ends. And that’s where the grand irony of contests begins.

Catching Up
See, when I run the contest, I don’t have to do much work at all. I just get the thing I’m going to give away (that’s easy) come up with the idea of how someone can win it (that’s easy), and write a post (I can do that in my sleep…I’m sleeping right now, in fact).

But then I have to choose a winner. And then I often have to exchange a bunch of email finding what size the winner wants and what her/his address is.

And then, worst of all (for me), I have to mail the thing.

And I am terrible at getting to the post office.

Which is why I am only just now getting caught up on sending out bunches and bunches of stuff to the people who have won them.

Ergon BD1 Backpack
There were about 120 entries for the Ergon BD1 backpack. I can understand why. It’s a sweet pack that practically any cyclist could make good use of. And they’re not easy to get ahold of yet. So, once again: Thanks, Jeff Kerkove and Ergon, for letting me give one of these away (and thanks even more for giving me one to keep myself!).

That said, this equated out to about 40 pages of reading for me. And there were some mighty fine entries in there. However, finding a winner was not as difficult as you might have thought. I eliminated all the “I’ll use this to commute and hold all my books and my computer” entries — this is not the right pack for that; this pack is too narrow to hold a computer or most big textbooks. For that kind of carrying, what you want is the Banjo Brothers Commuter Backpack, which is designed for carrying all your carry-to-work-and-school gear.

No, the BD1 isn’t a go-to-work pack. Or a trail maintenance bag. Or a substitute for a diaper bag. The BD1 is a pack for serious endurance racing.

And that’s what Stumper wants to use it for. He says:

Right now, my sites and goals are set on one ride/race……La Ruta. I and a couple friends have signed up for the most punishing mountain bike race on the planet. 200 miles, 32,000 (yes thats 3 zeros) feet elevation gain, in 4 days, coast to coast in Costa Rica. This will be the most epic ride I will ever do.

I need any and all help I can get to survive this death ride. This backpack will be filled with everything I could possibly need to survive the rain, mud, asphalt, jungle, python, spider monkey, and pain that I am sure to encounter on this epic of all epic rides.

Of course there will be plenty of pictures to take to share with others of how absolutly crazy I am to attempt such a feat.

La Ruta will be a chance of a lifetime…or the end of my lifetime, not sure which at this point.

Stumper, email me your name and address and I’ll hook you up with Jeff Kerkove, who will send you the pack. And you’d better hold up your end of the bargain: I want a story and pictures, exclusive to this blog.

Messenger BagGuess My Time
OK, let’s move on to the next prize I get to give away. I’m afraid I’m tardy on this one, mostly because I was so bummed out about my Leadville finishing time that it took a while for me to be able to force myself to find the best guess as to when I’d finish the race.

It turns out that “Dopey” — one of the first ten people to guess, so s/he wasn’t just playing the numbers game — guessed 9:10, only four minutes off my actual finishing time. Dopey, email me your name and address, and I’ll send you a supersized Banjo Brothers Messenger Bag, embroidered with the Fat Cyclist logo.

See, here at Fat Cyclist, I’m happy to reward those who correctly guess that I’ll fail at things that are important to me.

Rack Top Pannier BagB7 Awards!
A few days ago — okay, it was an entire month — fabled Banjo Brothers Big Bad Bulky Biker Bodyfat (B7) challenge ended.

More than 60 people entered, betting all kinds of different things against a Fat Cyclist jersey. As expected, quite a few people quietly dropped out (Nikared showed a triple helping of class by paying up his side of the bet when he realized he just wasn’t going to be able to continue on).

A big congratulations goes to everyone who lost any weight and gained any fitness through this bet. And an especially big congratulations goes to the following people, each of which beat me at the contest and therefore has a Fat Cyclist jersey on its way to them:

  • Allan8147
  • Teebone 
  • Sprocketboy
  • Chris R.
  • Bob W.
  • Lisa B.
  • Phillip S.
  • Scott R.
  • Monkeywebb (sorry I missed you earlier, Monkeywebb!)

And an extra helping of congratulations goes to the top three contestants in the race, each of which wins an awesome Banjo Brothers messenger bag or commuter backpack:

  • Allan8147
  • Chris R
  • SprocketBoy

Impressive work, folks, and a big thank-you goes out to the Banjo Brothers, who have been supporting my site since long before anyone else had even heard of it.

I should also mention that several people have sent me prizes for beating them, each of which I appreciate since it’s not like we had a binding contract or anything. One person sent me a prize even though he had beat me. Another sent me a bonus prize — an autographed copy of Floyd Landis’ Positively False, inscribed “To the Fat Cyclist.” And in general, a lot of people are being incredibly cool about this contest. I’m glad we did it.


  1. Pingback by » Links Of The Day: 2 September 2007 | 09.2.2007 | 3:44 pm

    [...] Prizes [...]

  2. Comment by Heffalump | 09.2.2007 | 4:17 pm

    Are you still giving prizes to those who guessed closest to the times of your buddies in the Leadville too?
    All that prize giving must be a lot of work. Its like being Santa Claus all year long!

  3. Comment by fatty | 09.2.2007 | 4:29 pm

    heffalump – i’ve recently realized exactly how much comparing i would have to do to figure out who won prizes for guessing my friends’ times, and am just not excited about the prospect. if you made a winning guess, let me know and i’ll ship you a tshirt or socks or some belly button lint or someting.

  4. Comment by Mike Roadie | 09.2.2007 | 4:33 pm

    Way too much work, our not so fat friend!

    Hope you (all) saw the the entry on the millions (OK, tens) of comments I got for sporting the Pink FC jersey on Saturday!!!! I’ll wear it again on the roads tomorrow……….

    Not for nothing, but I’d like to win a prixe one day…….don’t need the Ergon pack anyway, since I’m a roadie, but…….I’m not sayin’……..I’m just sayin”

    I’ll be out tomorrow working hard to raise extra for the Ride fot the Roses weekend……I only need about $3K more by the 12th!!!!!

    Enjoy the extra Ride Day everyone!!!!!!!!


    Rock on Susan and FC!!!!!!

  5. Comment by Born4Lycra | 09.2.2007 | 7:16 pm

    Ooh belly button lint – what colour – bet it’s blue it’s always blue.

  6. Comment by jjmom04 | 09.2.2007 | 7:32 pm

    I’ve been an avid reader of yours for about 4 months now, never commented ’cause I haven’t actively ridden since I was a comuting teenager (no, I won’t mention how many years ago that was!). I kinda felt out of my element, as if I didn’t belong with you all that ride, but you are all such a happy bunch and seem to honestly care about all you come in contact with… you just make for an addicting group. So, since you said that you love getting comments I thought that it was only fair to give back to you what you’ve given to me. So, thank you, previously Fat Cyclist, for letting me be a small part of your world.

  7. Comment by Lins - Aust | 09.2.2007 | 8:28 pm

    Funny you should mention belly button lint. There’s a small town I ride through quite often. By small town I mean plenty small i.e. old Pub, general store, few houses. Earlier this year there was a sign on the blackboard outside the pub which read “The Belly Button Lint is back”. I still wonder what on earth The Belly Button Lint is: A drink? A particularly bad hamburger? Belly Dance Competition? Whatever it is it can’t be good. Can it?

  8. Comment by Bones | 09.2.2007 | 9:08 pm

    Cyclist formerly known as fatty,
    Thanks again for the B7 challenge. Though I didn’t beat you, I did make my goal and was able to do my first club ride yesterday. Kept up with ‘em too. Well, ok, I’m on a ‘bent, so they left me on the uphills and I zoomed past ‘em on the downhills. I got invited back, anyway.
    Somehow, I don’t believe you’ve had your last shot at Leadville. I still think you can beat 9 hours next year.
    Stay in training so you don’t have to start over next spring!

  9. Comment by buckythedonkey | 09.3.2007 | 1:20 am

    Well done Stumper! Sadly that Ergon pack isn’t going to be big enough for the hot air balloon you need on La Ruta.

    32,000 feet! You’re a brave man – good luck toyou!

  10. Comment by Al Maviva | 09.3.2007 | 10:38 am

    Well, you won the B7 vs. me fair and square. I’m pretty bummed I didn’t hit my goals inside the contest. On the other hand, I’m riding (racing and hard club rides) better than I have ever ridden before, and turned in a pretty fair 3 mile time, all things considered. So I lost and lost badly, but still came away well ahead of where I started. I’ve found in bike racing, sometimes finishing 20th is an unbelievably good result, all things considered. I’ll humbly take that kind of result here and walk away happy. Some of your winnings are en route providing I can keep my nose out of the feedbag long enough this week to send them.

    Congrats to everybody else, especially those who beat me. You’ve really taught me something. I’ve learned my lesson – next year, aim low to score high! Sandbaggers!


  11. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 09.3.2007 | 5:22 pm

    I knocked a tidy 14% off my TT time but only managed 40% of the weight loss I promised myself. You win fair ans square but since my bet was based on the assumption that Robbie McEwen and I are best friends and he’s not returning my calls I’m preparing a little treat for your winter riding.

    All I really need to know is your preference for a pink or peanut butter coloured hand knitted long sleeve fatcyclist jersey. I’ve got plenty of time to knit it now that my doctor has benched me for at least 2 weeks.

  12. Comment by monkeywebb | 09.3.2007 | 10:35 pm

    Dear Mr. Fatty-

    After too many months of eating grapefruit and zucchini and NOT eating enough cheese burgers, I rode up the Churn Creek hill slower than the previous month, but fast enough to get a final score of 129.

    I have been eagerly awaiting my new Fatty jersey, a smaller replica of what has become my favorite riding wear. I planned to wear it with pride as a reminder to myself that I can, indeed, be a slightly less fat cyclist. Imagine my surprise when a friend told me over dinner that my victory was all in my imagination. She shook her head and avoided eye contact. Either I had far more spaghetti sauce on my face than I thought or she was ashamed of me.

    I still think I won. Can you either help me figure out why I didn’t or let my friend Alicia know that I was indeed successful?

    Incidentaly, in the past month I have had very little grapefruit, no zucchini, and I had two cheese burgers yesterday alone. None the less, my weight has gone up a scant three pounds and I plan on staying on the bike right through the winter for a change.

    My Score: 129
    Weight Loss Score: 110 [Maximum Weight Loss Score Achieved!]
    Time Trial Score: 19

    Starting Weight: 213.2
    Weight Loss Goal: 28.2
    Current Weight: 182.0
    First Time Trial: 15:58
    Current Time Trial: 12:54

  13. Comment by Stumper | 09.4.2007 | 4:16 am

    Wow, I dont think I have ever won anything before!! Totally awesome, Thanks a TON Fatty.
    While I question my sanity everytime I think of this adventure I am going to embark on, I realize that this will be a trip and a ride of a lifetime.
    Fatty, you should have an email with my info, and of course, Fatcyclist will have all exclusive rights to the story and pictures from the race. That is, if I survive it.
    Thanks again for the opportunity. This place is great.

  14. Comment by sans auto | 09.4.2007 | 4:59 am

    A huge congratulations for anyone who did anything with the B7. I”m a doctoral student in health promotion. It is nearly impossible to get a person to do anything good for their health. I sit through class after class of theories of how to get people to lose weight, otherwise become healthier, or at least think about their health and what they can do to maintain it. Do any of them work? No, not on a big scale anyway.

    Fatty puts together a goofy little contest on his blog and and people change. Sure Fatty got away with a bunch of loot, but frankly, he deserves it. he should make a lot more money than most people involved in health promotion (he probably does, which is why he has kept his day job).

    To all B7 participants, good work and stick with it. (Or maybe I shouldn’t say anything at all since the theories I learn have a very low success rate and Fatty’s methods succeed).

  15. Comment by turnonthejets | 09.4.2007 | 5:08 am

    Speaking of prizes, did you ever get out the ones for guessing closest to your weight during the B7 when you were on the road? I won I think…you weren’t even sure the prize at the time…

  16. Comment by fatty | 09.4.2007 | 5:19 am

    monkeywebb – sorry i missed you. i’ve updated the post to include you on the list. email me your name, size and address and i’ll get you your jersey. congrats!

    turnonthejets – email me your name and address and i’ll send you some fat cyclist socks.

  17. Comment by daemonv | 09.4.2007 | 5:28 am

    On the topic of prizes, and large cyclists… I competed in the Pittsburgh Pirate Bike Triathlon [Bike - Boat - Pillage] ( One of my pieces of booty was an excellent “Single Speed Nation” Twin Six t-shirt, size XL (

    (Side note, for any Twin Six reps reading this: great job and thanks for sponsoring that event. It was a huge success, and having lots of loot made it great for everyone)

    I just can’t wear it. It’s great, and I’m large enough for an XL to fit. But I don’t own a single speed, and don’t expect to for a couple more years. It is unworn, Twin Six tag still attached.

    Anyone have anything to trade for it? I worked pretty hard for it — it was in the treasure chest I had to sprint with — so it has some value. But in kind only in spirit is requested.

  18. Comment by chtrich | 09.4.2007 | 6:51 am

    People really do win on! Awesome update on all the past contests and winners. Sorry to have called you out on that, but sometimes the little things just keep building and building and people just have to know the answers.

    Will you be doing a reverse B7 fall challenge to see who can put o the most weight by January? I’m in for that! :-)

  19. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 09.4.2007 | 8:23 am

    um, oh yeah, I uh think I won one of those contests too. It was the one where we were supposed to come up with the best post-ride costume. And I suggested wearing nothing but a pirate eye patch and a hook. I think the prize was supposed to be a really nice wheel-set.

  20. Comment by Eric | 09.4.2007 | 9:49 am

    More Free Press: Just picked up the new issue of Road and in the gear section is write up of the Pink WIN jersey. Great pix and a very nice little blurb. Glad I wore mine yesterday, before EVERYONE has to have one! Way to go.

  21. Comment by cheapie | 09.4.2007 | 10:02 am

    i wasn’t in the contest but i should have been. i started out at about 205 and am now 180ish. i’m riding much, MUCH faster and feel great. even my “skinny” clothes are baggy.

    it’s a GREAT feeling! =)

  22. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 09.4.2007 | 12:05 pm

    Didn’t someone at one point win a Lofgran Coaching prize? Cause we never paid out on that. So if you know who won, we’re still willing.

  23. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 09.4.2007 | 12:07 pm

    Didn’t someone win a Lofgran Coaching prize at some time? Cause we never paid out on that. If you know who won we’re still more than willing.

    Hmmm…I think the contest *might* have been something about buying raffle tickets or donating to charity or something. But I could be wrong.

  24. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 09.4.2007 | 12:51 pm

    It was definitely me that won the lofgran coaching! It was for, uh, see my above post. I’d be a great athlete to coach becuase I have great perspective. Just tell Bob that all I expect is to be world-class by next may.

  25. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 09.4.2007 | 1:43 pm

    BE- Oh, of course. That makes perfect sense. Yeah, we’ll be sure to get in touch with you asap. Mmm-K?

  26. Comment by Mike Roadie | 09.4.2007 | 2:46 pm

    Mrs Coach…great idea!!! Like how about we give it away to whomever makes the largest donation to the Lance Armstrong Foundation website:

    A fundraising event that benefits the LAF in honor of Susan, family, friends and others by the Fat Cyclist community!!!! You are a genius!!!

    Fatty, what say you on this coup de grace????

  27. Comment by rogarr | 09.4.2007 | 2:52 pm

    Thats great news about Road Magazine. Smaller circulation but its a great magazine.

    BTW: Wasnt there something in the rules about half priced jerseys for anyone who beat Al?

  28. Comment by jitensha jake | 09.4.2007 | 4:51 pm

    regarding the B7, did you ever post a snail mail address to which your prize should be delivered?

    posted a request for it earlier on the forum, but since I pretty much disappeared from the contest, no surprise if you weren’t checking

    apologies if you posted it before and I missed it

  29. Comment by Big Boned | 09.5.2007 | 4:17 am

    Mike Roadie,
    Are you riding in the Austin Livestrong event?

  30. Comment by LanterneRouge | 09.5.2007 | 4:27 am

    I gather there’s a race going on in Spain. Voltron de Espinoza or some such. Any updates Fatty?

  31. Comment by Mike Roadie | 09.5.2007 | 4:46 am


    Planning on it. If I hit the $15K mark, for sure I’ll go. If not, I’ll have to decide whether to travel. I did Philly last year, and Lake Tahoe already this year.

    Are you going? Have you been to one before??

  32. Comment by cheapie | 09.5.2007 | 6:05 am

    how ’bout i donate to the LAF cause and get the free coaching? lol. i have 2 months until my “big” race and i def need some fine tuning to help me finish the season strong.

  33. Comment by Mrs. Coach | 09.5.2007 | 9:53 am

    Normally we have a 6 month contract, but maybe we could work something out. Go to the website and shoot Bob an email if you’re interested.

    Mike Roadie
    is there a way to track that sort of thing?

  34. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » More About My Shoulder | 09.5.2007 | 9:05 pm

    [...] As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, my shoulder is pretty messed up right now. What I didn’t really get into is the fact that my shoulder has been messed up, more or less, for about ten years. It has been injured in the middle of races. It has been injuured as I have come down the teeter (anyone want a teeter? Free?). It has been injured dozens of times in Moab and at Gooseberry Mesa. It has been injured when I lifted a very heavy book. [...]

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