We cyclists are simple folk. We don’t need much to keep us happy. Really, all we need are clear skies and a road or trail to make us happy.
And a helmet, of course. And gloves. And shorts with a special antimicrobial chamois insert. And form-fitting shirts. And very stiff-soled shoes, preferably Italian-made. And specialty sports drinks, with an incomprehensible combination of carbohydrates, proteins, electrolytes, and a lemon-lime flavoring that for some reason makes one think of furniture polish.
Oh, and we need bikes. More specifically, we need another bike. Always. And that means we need to pay for another bike.
Now, it’s not the paying per se that’s difficult. We can always find a way to get the money we need for bike stuff â€” take a second job, sell a kidney, money laundering, whatever.
What’s difficult is justifying the expense of yet another bicycle, whether it be to our wives, our parents, or to our own nagging conscience.
Sometimes we fail in our justification, and then where are we? We’re in the Purgatory of No New Bikes, that’s where we are. That’s a bad place. A bad, bad place. We should never have to be in that place.
And if you will follow the following techniques, you will never be in that place again.