12.17.2007 | 1:44 pm

A Note from Fatty: I have a few items of business to bring up before I get to the main topic of today’s post.

I Am Tardy
To those of you I owe t-shirts and socks to, from contests reaching all the way back into October — I’m sorry, but I’ve decided to not send them to you.

Just kidding.

Actually, I finally sent them today. Yes, even the one to Australia. Thank you all for your patience with my procrastinating self.

Return of the Biker Babes
Susan got an awesome card in the mail Saturday from my sister Kellene and all her riding friends, the self-named “Biker Babes.” Check this out (click photo for larger version):

Colorado Biker Babes

I admit to being slightly disappointed that Kellene didn’t persuade them all to do a jumping version of this photo. Mostly, though, I’m just really touched by this incredible show of support for my wife — a solidarity a huge number of people have shown.

Drink Up
Several of you have asked what the new Fat Cyclist bottles look like. They look like this:


What a dramatic shot!

It took me nine hours to get them stacked like that. Time well spent, if you ask me.

Now I need to figure out a good way to give some of these away. Anyone got a good idea for a contest?

OK, now on to the main subject of today’s post: how Susan’s doing.

Recovering from six months of chemotherapy is not easy. Recovering from a hip replacement is not easy. Getting a hip replacement literally one week after six months of chemotherapy is ridiculous, frankly.

But Susan’s handling it really well. She gets around well on her crutches, and — briefly — walked a little using just a cane today. She no longer rides the stairlift; she prefers going up and down the stairs using her crutches (anyone wanna buy a barely-used stairlift?).

The nicest thing about all this, though, is that Susan has — for the first time since the cancer recurred — a whole month without a single doctor appointment.

That said, there’s a lot of frustration for her. The first sentence Susan ever spoke was, “I can do it myself,” so as you might expect, Susan hates having to ask me for help on stuff you don’t even think about: putting on pants, putting on socks and shoes. It doesn’t bother me at all to help with things like that, but it drives Susan nuts to have to ask.

It’s not easy for her to get comfortable. Ask yourself: “If I had a clear-to-the-bone 16″-long incision on my left buttcheek, would I be able to sit in a chair?”

Hint: the answer is, “No.”

So Susan doesn’t get around much right now. And, unfortunately, she wouldn’t let me post a picture of the incision or rather extraordinary bruise she’s got. Pfff.


  1. Comment by chtrich | 12.17.2007 | 1:57 pm

    Wow, I’m first. Maybe I should get a bottle for that? :-)

    Glad to hear Susan is getting around. Keep on going strong!

    Enjoy the long vacation Fatty!!

  2. Comment by Gordon in Melbourne | 12.17.2007 | 2:02 pm

    I have mentioned before but why not try and raise money for cancer research and “auction” a ride with the biker babes and throw in a bottle for the winners.

    All the biggest, toughest partners can be the tour guides just in case some desperado (like me ??????) gets too smitten with them.

    Pain sucks and being helpless or requiring help only adds salt to the wound but it will get better (cause it cant be much worse than at the moment).

  3. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 12.17.2007 | 2:10 pm

    Okay, free bottles for the first three posters? Thanks for the update on Susan and we’ll keeping praying/good vibing on her behalf.

  4. Comment by Lisa B | 12.17.2007 | 2:15 pm

    That’s awesome news for Susan – what is she going to do with the multiple extra hours of time she (and you!) has to play with? Decorate her cane as a candy cane? Smack you around (with the cane) for spending nine hours on a bunch of plasticware? :)

  5. Comment by jeelmblad | 12.17.2007 | 2:18 pm

    How about a bottle for the most creative use for crutches that are no longer needed? Sounds like the lovely Susan is on the mend and will soon have no use of those ridiculous appendages.

    I’m thinking… bike rack extensions… to allow for more kids on one bike!

    All the best to the Fatty Family.

  6. Comment by Lucas Crawford | 12.17.2007 | 2:19 pm

    Thank you for posting how Susan is doing! She is in our daily prayers.

    First I thought that you could do a reverse of the last contest…make a donation and see how much weight you can gain in a week. These next two weeks would be perfect for this.

    Then I thought…contest for a bottle that goes to help the fight against cancer…maybe everyone should just buy one! Chances are…it would be next wintewr by the time you sent them out anyway!

    Enjoy your vacation brother! Happy Holidays.

  7. Comment by Marrock | 12.17.2007 | 2:26 pm

    Nevermind the bottles, how about a high quality print of the Biker Babes pic with autographs and phone numbers? ;)

    And Susan, you really need to let the boy work for his Nutella, besides, if anyone deserves being waited on hand and foot it’s you, so hush up and let him play nursemaid.

  8. Comment by Rebecca | 12.17.2007 | 2:38 pm

    Fatty, Keep the stair lift a little while longer. Once Susan starts carrying stuff, she’ll realize the stair lift can take the stairs for her. After my surgery toting laundry to the basement was impossible, even though I was self-mobile. I’m still surprised by just how much work those flabby abs of mine do.

    And don’t worry about the asking for help, or lack thereof. If I can’t do something, and don’t feel up to asking (bothering) someone, I let it go undone. A good excuse to do nothing!

    The clear (white?) bottles look so cool I’m going to order one as soon as I figure out what shirt I need ;) for the spring.

  9. Comment by Less Fat Mike | 12.17.2007 | 2:46 pm

    I finally have gotten enough nerve up to send a good thoughts post to Susan. I spent about 6 months in too much pain due to a back injury. Unfortunately, I can imagine some of the emotional roller coaster you’ve been through (not all of it, I didn’t have cancer to be sure). Anyway, two surgeries, 3 months worth of withdrawal from a couple or three different ‘fun’ pain medications, 60 pounds weight gain, and a wife of barely 6 months who didn’t ask for an annulment later, I find myself much more able to empathize.
    What I wanted to say is, I know you are probably sick and tired of everthing. Don’t keep it inside. Vent it all out at Fatty. He’s a guy and should be able to take it. Seriously, keep doing an amazing job. From what I’ve read here, you’re handling the roadbump we all hope this is better than I did.

  10. Comment by Don (cyclingphun.blogspot.com) | 12.17.2007 | 2:48 pm

    AWESOME SUSAN! I am totally blown away every time Elden posts an update about your progress. Keep it up! We’re praying for ya!

    Bottles: Don’t give ‘em away… they’re only 6 bucks! OK, so if you HAVE to give some away… I really like the pink/clear in a cheesy “comfortable in my sexuality’ sort of way, but I’m Nuts (w/ cap. N) for the Orange/Charcoal. Quick story, I’m super mad that I can’t find any of the mountain bikes I was thinking of getting in orange, and Im not willing to spend the extra bank to have a new one stripped and powder coated.

  11. Comment by regina | 12.17.2007 | 3:04 pm

    Susan you are amazing, and Fatty you are lucky that right now she cannot catch you… but she will be able to soon enough, mwahahahahahahaha.

  12. Comment by uncadan8 | 12.17.2007 | 3:07 pm

    Susan should win the Ultimate Strong Woman Award. I hereby nominate her.

    Elden, you still just get the Ultimate Goofball Award. Congratulations.

  13. Comment by will | 12.17.2007 | 3:08 pm

    All the best to Susan during her recovery.


    That 1st Photo is easily the best Fat Cyclist jersey photo yet!

    (don’t forget all there is a “Team Fatty” group at FLICKR for posting photos)

  14. Comment by bikemike | 12.17.2007 | 3:20 pm


    God bless America, she’s waaaayyyy tougher than ANY of the mamby- pamby choices that either side is throwing at us now. It’s freaking scary people. c’mon, look at what Susan and her team accomplished just this year alone. She could run for two terms and then The Fatster can do the next term.

    Susan, please, PLEASE, don’t make me pick any of these clowns for prez. running this country would be a piece of cake after what you’ve been through.

    thank you for your time.

  15. Comment by Mike from Melbourne | 12.17.2007 | 4:20 pm

    I’m very glad Susan is recovering well. All the best Susan, you have been an inspiration throughout this year. I hope 2008 is less challenging for you.

    Fatty, you may remember sometime ago I mentioned I was helping to organise a relay for life event here in Melbourne to help raise funds for the Anti Cancer council. Well the event was held around 3 weeks ago and we had a terrific response. We ended up raising around $43,000. There are some photos of the event here http://www.hobsonsbayrelay.com/News23E-News07-Photos.htm

    BTW, can Kellene organise a biker babes 2008 calendar ?

  16. Comment by Uphill Battle | 12.17.2007 | 4:29 pm

    Elden, Susan’s ‘tude about you helping her is a good thing. She’s a fighter! And Susan, you have my permission to whack Fatty with a crutch the next time he wants to take a picture of the incision. Still praying for you guys every day. Keep up the good fight!

  17. Comment by Ian | 12.17.2007 | 4:40 pm

    Why not auction off the bottles (autographed by yourself of course) by donation to the Lance Armstrong foundation. An autographed Fat Cyclist bottle would be a perfect late chrismas present for almost anyone. Merry Chrismas to you and your family as well as to all the other readers.


  18. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 12.17.2007 | 5:04 pm

    How ’bout a contest for the strangest thing you’ve ever used a water bottle for? Scaring off mountain lions, washing out gaping wounds-you know the usual stuff.

  19. Comment by Patrick from Astoria | 12.17.2007 | 5:21 pm

    Go Susan! Stay strong (I think “be strong” is understating it a bit), keep moving.

    FC, watch out, or else she’ll be kicking your procrastinating butt around sooner than we ever dared/hoped expect.

    Happy holidays indeed.

  20. Comment by co | 12.17.2007 | 6:49 pm

    on a cane so soon! fantastic! just don’t overdo the hasty recovery and end up pulling stitches (from someone who should know…)

  21. Comment by Walter | 12.17.2007 | 7:12 pm

    Thanks for the update about how things are going — sounds like Susan’s doing quite well, considering all the treatments, surgery, etc. Hang in there, both of you!
    P.S.: Methinks I’m going to need a couple of those pink bottles for next year’s PMC… nice!

  22. Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 12.17.2007 | 9:00 pm

    One more biker babe and you’ve got a ready made calendar. Maybe too late for this year but TwinSix have a good production team that would no doubt help for next year. Maybe since it’s all about Susan, she should be number 12.

    Don’t feel bad about not posting a photo of the scar. My wife won’t let me put a shot of her bum on the internet either.

  23. Comment by Solo | 12.17.2007 | 10:17 pm

    Sounds like Susan is ready for the Stationary bike eh? And Susan…… its not weakness to ask……. just to whine. And that certainly doesnt sound like the case (even tho I would be, not to mention using the heck out of that lift)

    Bottle contest!!! Best Inspirational Personal Quote (possibly worthy of inclusion on the 08 jersey even).

  24. Comment by Kris | 12.17.2007 | 10:24 pm

    BIKER BABES – Fatty, you’re usual biker chicks photo critiques apply: no bikes, posed shot, etc. But they’ve taken it up a notch this time. There is no bike gear anywhere except the jerseys, which could be mistaken for fancy T-shirts. My wife also noticed that they all look so nice … too nice … just-got-back-from-the-salon nice. That may be OK for Aspen, but where’s the dirt/mud? Where is the trail? Where are the action shots of daring and/or strength? Where, O, where are the bikes?!?! But seriously, what a fantastic show of support from Kellene and friends!

    CONTEST – ‘Tis the season for stories of winter cycling gone wrong!

    SUSAN – It pains me that this ordeal keeps dragging on. I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it go away. But for whatever reason, that’s not your lot. I know you have the strength to endure it – just take it one moment at a time. I’m sure it’s grueling, but better days will come – embrace that hope! We’re pulling for you!

  25. Comment by Born4Lycra | 12.17.2007 | 11:15 pm

    Good News Susan – its really great to hear.

    FC like someone else said sell the bottles (or auction them off bids plus cost)don’t give them away. I will be ordering mine when the new FC top goes on sale.

    Looking forward to seeing Susan in a biker babes group shot soon.

  26. Comment by Orbea Girl | 12.18.2007 | 2:18 am

    Thanks for the update on Susan’s progress. Delighted to hear things are really heading in the right direction.

    Seasonal Best Wishes to you all.

  27. Comment by buckythedonkey | 12.18.2007 | 3:17 am

    > unfortunately, she wouldn’t let me post a picture of the incision
    > or rather extraordinary bruise she’s got.

    My sister had a hip replacement a few weeks and sent me an unsolicited photo, I can post that if you like… LOL

    > Anyone got a good idea for a contest?

    Name the horse?

    Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  28. Comment by barry1021 | 12.18.2007 | 3:54 am

    Keep the chair lift Fatty, a couple more off road mishaps by you and you will need it, as Susan probably won’t want to haul your sorry and ever expanding ass up the stairs when she is full recovered.

    Ok the biker babes picture is good, I mean really good but I have an even better idea. You know that scene in “Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?” the underrated Coen Bros flick? Where the three babes are singing and washing the clothes in the river?? Man that would be a great video for the Biker Babes, washing the WIN shirts. Just sayin’

    Slightly DOM


  29. Comment by bikemike | 12.18.2007 | 4:52 am

    by the way Fatty, send that picture of the girls to Pezcycling News and get some free socks.

    Merry Christmas to all.

  30. Comment by Mike Roadie | 12.18.2007 | 5:25 am

    Hey….I used “obstinate” in an email today, too!

    Good, no, great news about Susan…..really happy to hear it! Here’s an idea….decorate the chair lift for the holidays and sell rides to the neighborhood kids and donate the $$$$ to the LAF!!

    For more biker babes….check out http://www.muddbunnies.com (two “d”s in the spelling). They even have their own calendar!

  31. Comment by Don (cyclingphun.blogspot.com) | 12.18.2007 | 6:19 am

    Mike: I have to laugh on account I saw the biker babes photo and thought Elden has finally gone a bit too far and put out the FC BB calendar. Wait, that might just work Fatty!

  32. Comment by Donald | 12.18.2007 | 7:14 am

    It is great to keep reading how well Susan is doing. Expect the best! She has so many people working for her and your family! This year, my Mom was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer, my Dad diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. We did nothing but expect the best. Both are doing well now… chemo is now finished for Mom and she has a clean report as well as my Dad. Cycling for Cancer fundraising has taken on a whole new meaning! Again, all the best to you and Susan and work your hardest to remain positive. Donald

  33. Comment by WMdeR | 12.18.2007 | 8:47 am

    It is good to hear Susan’s on crutches and getting cranky about being waited upon. It’s a sign of recovery, right?

    I’d have to second the “Winter Rides Gone Wrong” story contest idea for how to give away a bottle or two.

    Selling some wouldn’t be a bad idea either.

    Bon Courage,


  34. Comment by Bonzai Buckaroo | 12.18.2007 | 8:52 am

    Best wishes to you, Susan and the kids.

    I love the poster and/or calendar idea(s)!!!

  35. Comment by Kevin | 12.18.2007 | 9:08 am

    Since Susan won’t let you post a picture of her scar, how about getting them from the “fat-o-sphere?” Best scar picture + story gets a bottle? You’ll need two categories–surgical and adventure-related.

    Hmm, that’s only two bottles . . . $20 a pop for the rest for LAF.

    Great news about Susan, keep it coming please.

  36. Comment by AMG in Texas | 12.18.2007 | 9:44 am

    THANKS for the Biker Babes photo!!! Long overdue… Wait a minute…. Did anybody notice that the Biker Babe in the middle back does not have on a Fat cyclist jersey???? I can hear them saying before the photo… “You forgot your jersey? Dont worry… Fattys readers only look at your quads”.

    As for the calendar… make sure we can see their ripped quads. :-)

    Best wishes Susan. Soon Fatty will be needing the stair lift to get his holiday food stuffed body up the stairs.

  37. Comment by KT | 12.18.2007 | 9:46 am

    Fatty, thanks for keeping us updated on Susan’s progress. Hopefully, she’s still okay with you sharing such details and photos with a bunch of strangers on the interwebs. Even if she won’t let you take any pictures of her incisions.

    Susan, thanks for letting us help you out, mentally, spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically. You are one tough lady, and even though we’ve never met, I’m proud to be a part of your team. Don’t let Fatty take any pictures of your incisions, it’s not dignified.

    Keep the lift. You can use it to haul things from the downstairs to the upstairs. Plus, you can auction off rides!

    About those bottles… well, how many bottles does one cyclist need, anyway? And how much do those particular ones cost?

  38. Comment by DrCodfish | 12.18.2007 | 10:59 am

    The “I can do it myself” gene is almost exclusively carried in the female of the species. Whenever I ask my wife if she wants me to lend a hand under trying circumstances I get the conspicuous “ignoring you” treatment. This occurs for example as she juggles two coolers of soda pop with one hand and a knee with a bag of groceries under her arm, while adroitly fishing the keys out of her purse and then getting the door open. This may take 20 seconds to a minute and a half. Upon which accomplishment she wil look at me brightly and reply almost casually “no thanks, I’ve got it.”

    The “I scratched my thumbnail so I have to go to the Dr and Get a CT scan” gene is predominately a male characteristic. The orignal drama queen was a guy I think.

    Be thankful She’s still of an independent mind, it’s when they give up you have to worry. Crutches on the stairs; ummm you know where you belong.

    Hope you all have a happy holiday.

    PS: I don’t mean to bring a tear to your eye, but you’re missing an awful lot of rain up here in the Pacific Northwest.

    Yr Pal DrCodfish

  39. Comment by Marrock | 12.18.2007 | 12:11 pm

    buckythedonkey: I think the horse is already named Clyde… But I am most likely mistaken.

  40. Comment by Marrock | 12.18.2007 | 12:14 pm

    Ok, I just noticed something in that pic… at least six of them are wearing the same bracelet/watch type thinger, what’s up with that?


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.