Dilemma
A couple days ago, I was riding my road bike down Suncrest, flying at 45-50mph.
Tight tuck. Arms and legs tensed and pulled in close. Eyes in narrow slits. Tears streaming sideways. Teeth bared.
And that is when a bug smacked into my teeth. Full force. I’m pretty sure it exploded on impact.
And so I did exactly what I’ve done a million times before, and which I’m sure you have done just as many times when a bug flies into your mouth while you’re cycling: I began hacking and spitting, desperate to get the insect — or, more accurately, insect parts — out of my mouth. Stat.
And then…well, then…something horrible, yet fascinating happened. Something unexpected. Something I have yet to come to terms with. A realization I still am trying to find ways to deny:
That bug did not taste half-bad.
Yes, you read that right.
That insect that slammed into my teeth, exploding into a million little raw atom-sized bug parts, left a pleasant, nutty aftertaste.
You cannot know how much this distresses me.
I mean: I like the taste of bugs? Raw bugs?! That’s not possible, is it?
Except, evidently it is.
So I’m confronted with a host of questions, each equally disturbing.
- What kind of bug was it? Or do I really want to know? Because if I find out, would I dare try another one?
- Do I like the taste of all bugs? Or do I just like the one kind? It seems likely that if one kind of bug is delicious, others are too. I can’t believe I just typed that sentence.
- Have I missing out on something really wonderful my whole life by not being an eater of bugs?
- Should I, from this point forward, ride with my mouth open, and crunch thoughtfully and appreciatively on whatever snack happens to find its way into my mouth?
Of course, there’s considerable upside to this, potentially. I mean, with as many bugs as I smack into in an average ride, I could easily stop bringing energy food with me on rides. Think of all the money I’d save. And I’m sure my friends wouldn’t be grossed out at all.
I am horrified, even as I am intrigued.
Please excuse me while I go brush my teeth and floss. For the thousandth time this week.
Comment by TomE | 06.6.2008 | 10:05 am
Fatty – now you just have to figure out how to have those bugs chocolate covered before they fly into your mouth!!! YMMMMMMMM…chocolate covered bugs…..
Comment by tohm | 06.6.2008 | 10:07 am
Maybe its time to plan a trip to Southeast Asia for some excellent insect cuisine? there’s probably a cookbook/list of delicious bugs somewhere on the internet.
Comment by Anonymous | 06.6.2008 | 10:26 am
With the current Cicada population in my backyard somewhere in the millions, riding the past month has been full of interesting challenges. Cicada in the mouth being one of them. Cleaning bug guts off of my tires is the other (is anyone making a cicada gore shedding 29er tire yet?). The most intriguing part of any Cicada infestation though, is the local news and paper pushing cooking tips and recipes.
This one, by Carrie Brown, may be best for the cycling crowd.
Cicada Granola Chews
15 cicadas
1 cup flour
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup butter
1 egg
1/2 tsp vanilla
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
2 1/2 cups Kroger Granola Cereal with Raisins
First freeze cicadas and break off legs and wings etc. Next boil for 5 min. then bake at 550 F for 10min. Take cicadas out and cut up very finely. Preheat oven to 350 F. In a large bowl stir together flour, brown sugar, salt, cinnamon, and baking soda. Stir in remaining ingredients except cereal; until smooth. Stir in half of the cereal. Form dough into 1 inch balls and roll in remaining cereal. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake for 12-14 minutes, or until golden brown.
Comment by scoops | 06.6.2008 | 10:31 am
From an excelent chilrens book, “The iguana brothers”
Bugs, grossos.
Comment by Linda | 06.6.2008 | 10:33 am
as an aspiring chef (as well as an avid cyclist) I am intrigued with the Cicada Chews. I think I will whip up a batch before the kiddies get home from their LAST DAY OF SCHOOL….
Comment by DougG | 06.6.2008 | 10:37 am
Why stop at bugs. Open your mouth a bit more then maybe you catch a humming bird or two. Or if your really lucky and nice finch.
Comment by KC | 06.6.2008 | 10:41 am
Fatty – you are not alone! I had a similar experience this spring. Definitely not a cicada. I thought maybe a pollen laden bee that was obliterated before he could sting me.
Comment by monkeywebb | 06.6.2008 | 10:46 am
You could be on to something here. Upon reflection it’s clear that the reason I’ve always hated consuming bugs by bike is that I skip the normal eating steps (grab burrito, peel back foil, bite, chew, swallow, repeat). Instead bugs typically jump straight down my throat stopping only to take a shot at my uvula.
I have no idea what they taste like, but it’s entirely likely that if I wrapped them in a 12-inch flour tortilla with some black beans and cilantro I’d be more than happy.
Comment by cyclostu | 06.6.2008 | 10:49 am
I think that the expert on this kind of thing would have to be that guy who does “Man vs. Wild” on the Discovery Channel. He regularly eats all kinds of thing that I had previously thought were off limits. He may have a blog and/or website that may shed some light on your intriguing, yet disturbing, dilema.
My first thought though was Homer Simpson-esque. MMMMMMMM….bug parts.
Comment by Kathy | 06.6.2008 | 10:49 am
You just never know what topic you’ll come across on Fatty’s blog these days. Bugs for breakfast? Why not. Lots of protein, I’m sure. Better than taking one in the eye (yes, I had on glasses, but it somehow snuck in), ending up at Urgent Care with a scratched cornea and part of the bugs wing/shell imbedded in the eye. In fact, if you want to whittle down the insect population by eating them, I’d appreciate it!
Comment by matt | 06.6.2008 | 10:50 am
No more crunchy crunches. Now just add to blender with a dab of chocolate milk mix and some milk. Can you say protein drink?
Comment by Marissa | 06.6.2008 | 10:56 am
i had some quite tasty chex mix at a party once…
the secret ingredient?
baked crickets.
yikes.
Comment by Dave | 06.6.2008 | 10:57 am
I’m with monkeyweb on this. When a bug enters my mouth I open wide and swallow whole, nevermind the niceties of chewing. I have coughed and choked too many times trying to eliminate the bug from my mouth. It’s too much trouble in my opinion.
Now, I will say I had a wasp hit my lip once and it left a very bitter taste in my mouth and my lip swelled up. I would recommend not eating a wasp.
Win Susan!
dave
Comment by KT | 06.6.2008 | 10:59 am
I swallowed a bug once.
It was just after I crested a hill and was spinning along a flat section, mouth agape and gasping for air as usual.
I wasn’t even going that fast, maybe 12mph… I even had time to see the bug as we approached each other.
And down the gullet it went. I swear I felt it wiggling in my throat, but reflex is to cough and then swallow so….
Bugs are supposed to be a good source of protein, right? Fatty, you should look into that.
PS I got stung last February by a bee, right at the base of my throat between the collar bones. But I didn’t swallow it, that would be gross.
Comment by 331miles | 06.6.2008 | 11:02 am
Are you sure someone didn’t throw a bug-like snack at you? Maybe a chocolate-covered peanut? Somebody threw a pancake at me while riding on Mother’s Day 2006. They missed, but if it would have hit me in the mouth I would have ate it. Without syrup.
Comment by Nytro | 06.6.2008 | 11:03 am
Bagghh… bugs are the bane of my bike existence. I remember a couple of years heading down a major hill hitting 55 mph when all of the sudden a bug – a grasshopper, i believe – smashed into my right lense of my sunglasses. At 55 mph, you can imagine that it was quite a splat. It went all over my lense, all over my right cheek and basically all over the right side of my forehead. But I was hitting 55 mph, and had I freaked out like I wanted to – because GROSS! – it could have had serious consequences. By the time I got to the bottom of the hill, the bug guts were dried on my sunglasses and on my face. If that grasshopper had gone into my mouth? TOAST, I say, TOAST!
And one of the last times I went running, I killed two little green bugs with my eyeball… when they drowned in eye goop after flying right into it.
Bane. Of. My. Existence.
Comment by KanyonKris | 06.6.2008 | 11:04 am
Relish the sustenance Mother Nature freely brings your way!
Comment by axel | 06.6.2008 | 11:13 am
don’t ride just with your mouth open – too many bugs have stingers – tasty or not that wouldn’t be good.
you gotta find the right flavorful bug or bugs –
i can sense a new carborocket flavor coming on…
Comment by usimpto | 06.6.2008 | 11:13 am
Blech, cough, gag. I read this as I was eating my pasta lunch.
I’ve learned to just swallow ‘em down if possible and try not to think about it. Followed by an immediate drink of water. Of course, that can be challenging when you get a really leggy one that won’t just slide down the gullet.
Comment by PandaElf | 06.6.2008 | 11:16 am
Insects are an excellent source of protein, actually, and they’re actually a primary food source in many cultures. I used to work in a place that sold nacho, bbq and “spicy” flavored mealworms. With all this talk about grass fed vs. grain fed, overfishing, food and carbon footprints I wonder how much better things would look if we all started replacing some meat with insects?
And you can definitely get them chocolate-covered.
Comment by Paul Franceus | 06.6.2008 | 11:19 am
Fatty-
The contrast between this post and the ones about Susan are so striking you are going to make my head explode. I can relate to both, unfortunately. Keep your sense of humor!
WIN SUSAN.
Comment by Jonnie | 06.6.2008 | 11:20 am
I had a similar experience last Saturday in Corner Canyon coming back from the Scout Bridge. I was riding along jamming out to my ipod, taking it easy, when a grasshopper launched into my mouth and hit the back of my throat. It hit so hard it bounced right back up onto my tongue. At which point I promptly spit it out and went on my way.
Comment by andrewc | 06.6.2008 | 11:22 am
might make a nice side order w/ your avocado sandwich.
Comment by isela | 06.6.2008 | 11:23 am
The lunch of champions!
Comment by M2 | 06.6.2008 | 11:28 am
Ah… high speed winged snacks. You’ve gotta love em.
Comment by BellaCroix | 06.6.2008 | 11:31 am
Dear “Fatty”,
I represent Insectovore Corp, manufacturers of Carapace Bites energy bars. We respectfully request you remove today’s post as it comes very close to infringement on our trade secret and manufacturing recipes – specifically that of our best selling “Nutty Taste Carapace Gels”.
We understand you may not have realized this infraction but we do take such matters very seriously as we currently hold the only US patent on this process and actively defend those legal protections.
I hope you’ll give our products a try in the future including the latest addition to the Carapace Energy family: Chitin Chunks.
With regards,
Stanley Dewey
Partner: Dewey, Cheatum, & Howe.
PS. Win Susan!!!!
Comment by Tim | 06.6.2008 | 11:33 am
Don’t let this bug you. It happens to the best of us. :) :)
Comment by chtrich | 06.6.2008 | 11:34 am
nothing like an instant snack on the road.
Comment by Jen | 06.6.2008 | 11:42 am
I guess it’s possible that there are good tasting bugs out there. Since some people eat them on purpose ther can’t all be bad. Just count yourself as lucky that whatever it was that found it way into your mouth, it wasn’t poisonous. Or stiny. Or bitey. Or stinky.
Comment by Emily | 06.6.2008 | 11:47 am
My dog claims that bees are delicious spicy snacks. Of course, he also likes eating Canada Goose poop so I wouldnt take his word on culinary matters.
Comment by Our Monmouth | 06.6.2008 | 11:58 am
Looks little the cottage bug eating industry found another customer. Frankly, I can’t understand it, and generally a bug is met with a quick footstomp or swat but hey it makes for interesting Food TV.
Buggie braten anyone?
Bon appetit.
Comment by NW | 06.6.2008 | 11:58 am
Ha! I did not expect to see that one coming. And no, I have never experienced the good, nutty tasting kind of bug you got apparently. Usually my mouth is open and it goes straight for the throat, past the taste buds. Next time, I will try to cough it up for a taste. :D
Comment by rexinsea | 06.6.2008 | 12:00 pm
mmmm…bugs. So long as they are not nasty gnats or stingy things; I say bring ‘em on. A little protein can always help on a long ride. We should keep this little secret amongst ourselves though. It is a tad gross and embarrassing.
Comment by Clydesteve | 06.6.2008 | 12:04 pm
My last bug snack, last Saturday, was a 40 mph impact at the back of the throat and down. Very hard to appreciate nicities like flavor. I think you would be better off letting them hit your teeth, tasting, and then, if good, consuming them.
On second thought, it might just be best to eat them w/o tasting. something tells me that bugs are not all delicious.
I really don’t see why you are feeling unsure about perhaps enjoying bugs, Fatty. I doubt if that are THAT fattening. OTOH, if you start copying Emily’s dog, and find his snacks pleasant, please, please run this by your wife, or maybe the core group before you share. Nobody, I repeat, nobody like my dog after she snacks on fresh horse turds.
Comment by Clydesteve | 06.6.2008 | 12:11 pm
Should I, from this point forward, ride with my mouth open, and crunch thoughtfully and appreciatively on whatever snack happens to find its way into my mouth?
The answer to that question is, of course, NO! At least not if you are racing behind Al M, or me, or any number of other fat cyclists who spew spittle, sweat, plegm, and snot in a most unappetizing manner when riding hard & hot. The mouth should be kept closed in this case.
Comment by Dobovedo | 06.6.2008 | 12:17 pm
As we all know, the mystical, magical ratio of carbohydrate to protein is 4:1.
So… for every bug you swallow, just follow it with 4 Skittles and it’ll all be good!
Comment by bikemike | 06.6.2008 | 12:18 pm
holy crap! i had to re-read the story. at first i thought you said that “dug” smacked into your teeth.
i am relieved and yet, amused, at the thought.
Comment by Yeahdog | 06.6.2008 | 12:40 pm
Mmmm a high-protein meal on the go – it beats the heck out of the usual gnats kamikaze-ing into my eyeballs when I ride! Follow the feeling, people the world over intentionally nosh on bugs and are quite happy to do so.
Comment by Lowrydr | 06.6.2008 | 12:41 pm
Don’t try the June bugs, they are just plain nasty, chocolate or not. And even way weird when riding that trail at night. Seems the head light attracts them, who’da figured that!
Comment by Lowrydr | 06.6.2008 | 12:42 pm
Oh yea, and their legs are really scratchie too.
Comment by Carine | 06.6.2008 | 12:46 pm
Fatty’s new bugs only diet! Guaranteed to make all of us loose 10 pounds, heck a lot more than that, by the end of summer
Comment by highwaymunky | 06.6.2008 | 12:51 pm
mmmm bugs…… the summer food of cyclists. If you wear sun screen on your arms & legs you can collect them to eat at convenient break times. You think those are vents in your helmet. No No NO my friend… bug catchers!
Win Susan
Comment by Rufus | 06.6.2008 | 1:11 pm
Excellent source of protein and quite tasty too, according to my husband, who grew up way, way, WAY out in the sticks in Africa. Not, however, a great way to make friends and influence people. When the family returned to the States, he was the strange new kid in high school. At his first football game, he thought a great way to break the ice and impress the girls would be to catch a flying ant (they happened to be swarming nearby) and eat it. Not a good move. For the next several months, he sat alone during lunchtime. Moral of the story – eating bugs? a great, solitary activity but not recommended at American social functions, be they tailgate parties or bikerides.
Comment by Ka_Jun | 06.6.2008 | 1:11 pm
You should try Mopani worms Fatty, they make you fast and are slimming, too!
Comment by Lori | 06.6.2008 | 1:20 pm
Ewwwww!!!
Comment by regina | 06.6.2008 | 1:33 pm
ok this is like going to grocery store hungry, you need to eat something, NOT another bug though.
Comment by AMR | 06.6.2008 | 1:34 pm
Regarding the above Cicada Granola Chews ingredients: Kroger Granola Cereal with Raisins? I think I know the importance of the *with raisins* part. Distraction.
Bugs with yellow innards = disgusting and/or (me thinks) poisonous
Bugs with brown/other innards = not half bad (a.k.a. not wholly good)
Comment by dug | 06.6.2008 | 1:43 pm
can you use foodstamps to buy bugs?
Comment by Heatherann | 06.6.2008 | 1:45 pm
EWWWWW! But then again Timon and Pumba love em! I’d floss one more time.
Comment by Ronin | 06.6.2008 | 1:50 pm
Several years back I was coming down Payson canyon at full tilt when I hit the opening I was greeted with a lovely blast to the face of a Praying Mantis. It did not like it, perhaps even more than i didn’t, it straight kicked my arse!
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Radioflyer | 06.6.2008 | 2:07 pm
Seriously, a few years ago, I took a bumblebee in the mouth. Before I could get him out, I got stung on the tip of my tongue. By the time I got home (6 mile descent as fast as I could ride), I couldn’t close my mouth, was drooling terribly, and couldn’t even speak clearly to my girlfriend about what had happened.
I spent the next 6 hours in agony with my tongue pressed against ice cubes and coated with meat tenderizer.
THAT SUCKED. Plus, I am a radio DJ… How ironic that my tongue gets damaged on a bike ride.
Comment by john umland | 06.6.2008 | 2:17 pm
I have a friend who sells dried land shrimp. It’s a market the US needs to catch up with the rest of the world on. Here are photos to prove my entomophagy of a cricket, good, and a cicada, better.
http://umbl0g.blogspot.com/2007/10/proof-of-my-entomophagy.html
God is good
jpu
Win Susan!
Comment by sister | 06.6.2008 | 2:30 pm
Spookily, your ultimate prepubescent dis, “eatabug!”, has become your reality. Coincidence?
I
think
not.
Logic says that a Mr. Burroughs regularly goes and jumps in a lake . Let us hope he enjoys it as much as you enjoy the bugs.
Comment by The D | 06.6.2008 | 2:46 pm
Hmmmm… ride fuel that flies under its own power….Think of it as several ounces saved!
Actually, I’m going to harness about 125,000 bugs to my handlebars to help propel me forward. Should be worth several watts. When I get hungry, I can just eat a few. In this way, I will always save my maximum effort for the end of the ride and be assured of quality sustenance throughout.
The perfect workout!
Comment by mamafitz | 06.6.2008 | 2:53 pm
I like you.
I mean really. Your willingness to share the deep recesses of your intriguing brain function is fantastic.
Win Susan!
Beth
Comment by rich | 06.6.2008 | 3:03 pm
Mmmm….bugs…the other white meat
(ok, so maybe it’s not technically white meat)
Win Susan!!
Comment by blinddrew | 06.6.2008 | 3:06 pm
Sorry, you’re how old and you only just realised that some bugs taste good? And more importantly you haven’t realised that some bugs taste reaaaaaaallly bad. I mean reaaaaaaaaaaaaaaly bad. Don’t ride with your mouth open please. For one thing they go straight down your throat (a la monkeyweb) and for another it scares the children… ;¬)
Mind you, reading BikeMike’s comment that he initially though that Dug had smacked into your teeth did give me a fit of the giggles
Comment by Dad and janel | 06.6.2008 | 3:09 pm
We have been in Lisbon the last few days to renew our Visa and when we got home we saw the video that Jodi and Anson had put together. It was extremely well done and we appreciate those efforts while we are so far away. I am more convinced than ever that we have gifted family. Seeing the response from everyone meant a lot us and we know that it meant a lot to you and Susan. Our prayers are continually offered in Susan’s behalf and we know, “it will all work out.” We love you all and miss you too. Continue with great Faith.
Comment by Susan | 06.6.2008 | 3:10 pm
I eat bugs on a regular basis. Don’t try to. It just happens. I’m working away in the hog barn or outside and they just get sucked in. Whole, down the hatch. The pleasant taste must have something to do with them getting splatted against your teeth, because I’ve never experienced that at all. Just gagging and near-puking.
I’d keep my mouth shut when riding – I’m sure it was a fluke. Positive.
Comment by FLatsMan | 06.6.2008 | 3:23 pm
Another funny bit.
It’s actually too hot in SFLA for bugs to fly in daylight. No pesky flies either.
At night however it’s beeeg bug time. So we stay indoors in the A/C mostly. No problem.
Tip when bitten by mossy’s or no seeums. Apply slightly damped Ivory soap generously it stops the itching dead and also the redness and swelling, Don’t know why but it works.
FLATSMAN
Comment by MTB W | 06.6.2008 | 4:29 pm
Nutty aftertaste? Are you sure it was a bug? Something that fell from a tree perhaps? Keep your mouth open at all times on all future rides and if it happens again, look around for possible sources. If it doesn’t happen again, well, I’m sure someone will get an amusing video of you riding with your mouth open. It’s a win, win situation.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Big Mike in Pa | 06.6.2008 | 4:49 pm
I think it was a Dung Beetle or a Hazelnut encrusted Grasshopper-either way, it was better that swallowing a Yellow Jacket.
(they really, really don’t like to be eaten!)
Win Susan!
Comment by Swedoz | 06.6.2008 | 4:51 pm
Hmmm…
Witchety grubs in Australia – tasty and a little like peanut butter
Fried cockroaches in Thailand – proves that anything fried can taste good
One million mosquitoes in Sweden when riding – never tried to taste them – must try as soon as possible.
Comment by Anonymous | 06.6.2008 | 5:21 pm
Well firstly I was impressed by the speed – I get nosebleeds over 35mph which is fortunate as we deal in kilometeres so I don’t know when I have hit that speed. I could work it out but that is how accidents happen.
Secondly for someone that has splorped (I think that is correct) a goat I am surprised you even noticed a bug!
Lastly the Queenslanders here in Oz have got the bug thing going on properly. They eat Moreton Bay Bugs a crunchy little bugger lying around on the bottom of you guessed it Moreton Bay and have educated the rest of Oz to do the same.
Al yesterday you recognised Oz as potentially the best place in the world alongside the US well you better get over here mate – we’ve definitely got the best beer.
Comment by Jot | 06.6.2008 | 5:42 pm
I realized I had seen a cartoon on this. Sheldon (rhymes with Elden!) had an interesting series. I offer first, some insect poetry.
Then, some words of warning!
But as I’m sure you know. You can’t just tell the young ‘uns…You have to let them learn for themselves.
But, most prescient of all was the fact that before he even knew he was going to experience it, the author of Sheldon knew who the target audience was.
-Jot
p.s.: Win Susan
p.p.s: I found that last one looking through the archives for the other ones. Almost blew beer out my nose when I saw it.
Comment by Bob | 06.6.2008 | 5:45 pm
Bugs = Protein. I’m not sure what else they equal, but I’ve read many times they’re loaded with protein.
Comment by mgr | 06.6.2008 | 6:15 pm
This post made me laugh. Thanks, Fatty! Have a good weekend!
Comment by bubbaseadog | 06.6.2008 | 6:20 pm
r u sure it was abug sounds like a winged unicorn….45 to 50mph how steep was that grade. iguess u could wear a bandanna i hope im not buggin you man…..win susan
Comment by dodey | 06.6.2008 | 6:47 pm
So, I understand the grossness of swallowing a bug, but what only a select few of you might relate to is a swarm of bugs flying into your cleavage. Seriously. I’m cruising down a hill, leaning forward, all tucked in and I go right through a swarm of bugs. That was disgusting. I could even feel them flying around. Needless to say, I pulled over and took care of business.
In fact, I just got back from a ride, and sure enough, I had a stowaway.
Comment by Marla | 06.6.2008 | 6:57 pm
Yep, definitely a protein boost. Hey, if we eat chocolate we’re already eating bug parts,eh?
Comment by LindaLoo | 06.6.2008 | 7:39 pm
Oh my gosh! I just came in from a gnat filled ride and read your post. A few weeks ago I got a small bug in my mouth and before I thought what I was doing I popped it between my teeth. The darn thing tasted so good I’ve been searching for some more to try. The gnats tonight would NOT fly into my mouth, who would think I would be TRYING to eat a bug! But I too am curious about different ‘flavors’.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Jot | 06.6.2008 | 7:39 pm
Egads. I posted a comment with links that were way too appropriate for the topic. Please rescue from the spam filter. Unless you just don’t like me, or a “pie baked inside a pie”. In which case, I’m good with that.
-Jot
p.s.: Win Susan
Comment by Jot | 06.6.2008 | 7:40 pm
Then again, maybe I’m an id10t. Ok, maybe not maybe.
Just missed it.
Need another beer. Or not.
-Jot
Comment by born4felt | 06.6.2008 | 8:00 pm
Perhaps it was a flying Nutter-Butter? They are common this time of year.
Comment by Jot | 06.6.2008 | 8:06 pm
I’m pretty sure a “flying nutter-butter” is slang for something that is illegal in my state.
“For $20 you can get a flying nutter-butter”.
“For $100 you can get the full Little Debbie”.
I think I could keep this up for a while. :)
-Jot
Comment by Don | 06.6.2008 | 8:34 pm
Fatty, hey man! I couldn’t agree more! I equally pointed out the “no nee to carry energy (protein) bar” thing back in the April post: http://cyclingphun.blogspot.com/2008/04/mountain-biking-observations-no-need-to.html
I was actually quit intrigued at the idea of how many bugs I’ve probably eaten in the last couple months. On a more disgusting note, I hacked up a wad of spit and bug the other day. After hocking out the phlegm, it felt something. The bug got stuck to my lip. I wiped it off and it was writhing in a mini pool of phlegm on my finger. I was quite grossed out.
Comment by Kyle | 06.6.2008 | 8:38 pm
Ya know what’s gross? Hacking and spitting that bug up into the chinpiece of a full face helmet. I’m new at the full face thing and spitting is not a good thing. And the bug I spat out didn’t taste good.
Comment by Dill | 06.6.2008 | 9:02 pm
The last time I had an major bug-related incident involved a large bumblebee, the nose-bridge thingie on my sunglasses, and the 15km downhill ride from the top of Roger’s Pass in the Rockies.
The bee had apparently climbed into my helmet and as I zoomed down the pass (about 50-75km/hr) it slowly crawled down my forehead and sat on the bridge of my glasses. Admiring the few possibly? Or just stuck? In any case, as soon as humanely possibly I pulled over at the bottom of the pass and shook off the bee – all the while yelling incoherantly. It never stung me, just wiggled around on the ground for a bit before taking to the air and checking out the ditch.
Perhaps I’m just the bee equivalent to Xpress post?
Comment by ibisss | 06.6.2008 | 9:41 pm
I can’t help noticing the ‘Three’s Company’ factor here. YOu know, Mr. Furley in the next room, overhearing you talk about your ‘curiosity’ and ‘never expecting to feel this way’ and all that, his buggy eyes getting buggier by the second….
M Burdge
Comment by kellene | 06.6.2008 | 9:42 pm
You have just made your father so proud! ( Fatty’s dad is an Entomologist..an insect specialist!) Thank goodness you did not discover your love of insect ingesting until you left home! Dad’s stash of moths, beetles, cicadas, aphids and tomato worms in the refrigerator would have been at risk!
I will come up with some new recipies to fix for you when I visit again! Bon apetit!
Kellene
Comment by kellene | 06.6.2008 | 9:43 pm
Bug parts…the new chicken!
Comment by Steve | 06.6.2008 | 10:00 pm
Bear Grylls say that – ounce for ounce – bugs contain more protein than beef, so…eat up!!!
Comment by Rocky | 06.7.2008 | 12:09 am
I’m not sure why eating bugs is any grosser than eating cows or chickens or pigs, though as a society, we seem to think that it is so. Are they dirtier? Have you ever been in a cow pen or a chicken coop or a pig sty? Eeewww. There is no blood or slippy stuff with the bugs – just crunchy, nutty goodness. As long as there is no stinger, I say why not? Food (hehe) for thought.
Comment by Rocky | 06.7.2008 | 12:10 am
I find it ironic that you post this topic right after your post entitled: “Craving Normalcy.”
Comment by Pinkbike | 06.7.2008 | 1:04 am
Just watch out for the Acteon beetles.
And keep winning, Susan!
Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 06.7.2008 | 2:35 am
“I could easily stop bringing energy food with me on rides”
Fatty,
That’s a very broad and unscientific approach to something that you have proven over the past 5 years is the polar opposite of your perspective of cycling.
Your first step now is to take a sample and get it analysed at the lab to ID the bug.
Second, commission another seperate lab to trap a quantity of that bug type and analyse them for nutritional content.
Third, compare the results of step 2 with your normal* nutrition regime.
If it fits, move forward with the bug thing. If there are significant (>0.005%) deviations from your previous best practice, abandon all hope of becoming a hexapoda-phile and crack open a pack of Oreos.
*normal – a relative term.
Comment by Travis | 06.7.2008 | 4:48 am
leaving here i’ve tried it all, cat, rat, bugs, scorpion, silkworm, pigs brains… they all taste good (don’t knock it, till you’ve tried it)
but when ever I get the unexpected bug, it’s normally when gasping for breath up a huge climb, and it hits me at the back of the throat, causing an instant gag reflex…..
Comment by Lori | 06.7.2008 | 5:23 am
Apparently there is a lot of bug eating going on. This was on msn.com this morning.
http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/humannature/archive/2008/06/03/pass-the-land-shrimp.aspx?GT1=38001
Comment by Rob L | 06.7.2008 | 5:26 am
I attribute it to, too much bug juice koolaid as a kid for you.
Comment by Anonymous | 06.7.2008 | 5:29 am
a bug flew into my eye yesterday and got stuck and died in there :(
Comment by Yukirin boy | 06.7.2008 | 6:18 am
Outrageous! Nut-flavoured bugs? I have on authority they are like fried shrimps
Comment by Bluenoser | 06.7.2008 | 6:32 am
What’s worse is when you are breathing through your nose and a bug goes all the way to your sinus.
-B
Comment by Dave | 06.7.2008 | 7:06 am
What about bees? It seems they are attracted to me, but fortunately (or unfortunately) they have never attacked my mouth, just my belly.
Comment by carolyn | 06.7.2008 | 7:08 am
It’s like hardcore adventure cycling. Or something.
Comment by Barb | 06.7.2008 | 9:32 am
There are literally ten million cicadas in my backyard. You’re welcome to come and eat as many as you want, but you need to share with the birds and the squirrels.
Comment by Ken | 06.7.2008 | 10:07 am
Red ants taste like spicy lemon drops or grape candy. But don’t waste your time on black ants, they taste like dirt and tree bark.June beetle grubs are nutty, but don’t eat the tail end. Small grasshoppers taste better than big grasshoppers. The Marine Corps redefined “food” for me. :p
Comment by Hamish A | 06.7.2008 | 11:07 am
The only time I ever *willingly* consumed a bug (of sorts) was in Cambodia. My tour group stopped at this small village and we were swamped by people selling fried tarantula. I hate spiders. For real. I’m a buffet to them. A spider can’t be near me without trying to take a bite. Anyhow, I was the only one in the group who didn’t line up to buy one of the Tasty Tarantula Treats and ended up getting bullied into it (I was given the option of having a few live ones placed on me or eating one). Arachnophobia isn’t funny kids!
The worst part is that it wasn’t so bad.
I’d do some very careful research before you go changing your in-ride diet completely.
Have a great weekend, Win Susan!
Comment by Joe | 06.7.2008 | 11:10 am
With a deadpan no nosense tone of voice, the Air Force Colonel spoke: “General, we found out what happened to the escaped alien.”
Comment by Les | 06.7.2008 | 12:08 pm
Fatty,
I understand your dilemma. As a young man (many, many many years ago) I had the opportunity to attend the United States Air Force survival school—it’s kind of like a Boy Scout camp out without the adult supervision. Anyway, part of the curriculum was bug eating 101. After several days out in the field with little to eat the thought of eating bugs became more palatable. My personal favorites; big juicy black ants found under decaying bark, and grass hoppers—legs removed for obvious reasons.
Comment by Mocougfan | 06.7.2008 | 12:30 pm
Now that’s just sick and wrong.
Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 06.7.2008 | 12:30 pm
I can’t believe how many people are agreeing with you that you that bugs are yummy! lol Aaaack!
The correct answer is: NO.
Spit, cough, gag, and try not to fall off your bike. Oh, and ride with your lips pursed tight together and only breath through your nose. Although, that could lead to bugs going up your nose, which is actually worse… Hmmmmm perhaps you’d better start wearing a mask when you ride?
Comment by AlicesYellowPorsche | 06.7.2008 | 5:29 pm
Um… I don’t ride a bike so I can’t make an accurate statement on this whole thing. But as a human being, I say ew.
LindaLoo – I can’t believe we are related. :-)
Comment by LidsB2 | 06.7.2008 | 9:56 pm
I have to agree with Les. As another graduate of the USAF Survival School, the juicy black ants are my favorite as well. They taste just like Lemon Heads. As a Scoutmaster, I’m the “adult supervision” for a group of young impressionable lads who get a kick out of watching me muck them down with a smile. It’s great as a party trick too! And it’s true — pound for pound they have more protein than beef!
As for bike encounters with bugs, while doing 20 mph down some singletrack I caught a wasp just above the frame of my glasses. The evil creature stung me 4 times across my eyebrow before I could squish him. I nearly wrapped my bike and myself around a tree in the process.
Bugs to eat — good! Bugs while riding — BAD!
Comment by Catri | 06.8.2008 | 5:52 pm
Fatty–
Just consider it a mid-ride snack. Delicious and nutritious, and surprisingly cheap–
Comment by Donald | 06.9.2008 | 5:52 am
Nice… you could be the next Survivor winner!
Comment by Nina in Ohio | 06.9.2008 | 5:52 am
Ewwww – makes me so glad I’m a runner…..
Comment by hades | 06.9.2008 | 7:58 am
Article the other day on slate: http://www.slate.com/blogs/blogs/humannature/archive/2008/06/03/pass-the-land-shrimp.aspx
Comment by bolter9 | 06.9.2008 | 10:27 am
The worst bug incident I had actually involved my motorcycle. A few years back I was flying down the road at about 90mph. A bug hit the small mouth vent on the front of my helmet, and bug guts splattered all over my mouth. My helmet immediately filled with the strong smell of cow s**t….and of course there’s only one option to clean it off, other then stopping and unstrapping my helmet…
Comment by Charlie | 06.9.2008 | 1:50 pm
Just thought I’d mention, Crabs, shrimp and lobsters are arthropods, bugs are arthropods… I’ve heard that tarantulas taste like langostino.
Comment by Si | 06.9.2008 | 2:02 pm
You can buy chocolate covered insects online…
http://www.lazyboneuk.com/categories/Edible-Insects-/
…so now you can kill two birds with one stone…
1) Eat lovely, delicious chocolate
2) Cater for your new twisted hobby you sick little monkey ;-)
Enjoy!
Comment by Ken | 06.10.2008 | 12:34 am
WHAT?!! Lemony tasteing black ants? I feel cheated. Why weren’t mine lemony?
Comment by mike | 06.10.2008 | 2:26 am
My one experiance with eating bugs was chocolate covered giant ants. Tasted like nothing (except chocolate) but i was picking parts of what i could only assume was giant ant ass out my teeth for the rest of the day! Good luck flossing!
Comment by asl | 06.13.2008 | 11:30 am
I read this blog just before I met some friends for our Friday ride last week. Thought it was hilarious. Started off biking to the trailhead and a butterfly flew into my mouth which freaked me out and I jerked to the side and crashed. (no injuries.) I’m afraid I can’t tell you much about how it tasted other than dry! Now I’m afraid to read your blog and somehow have my luck be altered subconsciously by what I’ve read.
Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 06.13.2008 | 11:47 am
ASL, that is soo funny! I can’t stop laughing. :) So sorry about the butterfly!