I’ve Been Tagged!

07.22.2008 | 8:37 am

Remember how, when you were a kid, from time to time a friend would send you a chain letter, telling you a story about someone who got this letter, forwarded it, and now has received untold riches? And then — by way of contrast — there was another guy who received this letter, didn’t forward it, and — the following day — got leprosy, a swollen goiter, and a severe case of halitosis?

Well, blogs have something like that, but instead of “chain letters,” they’re called “Tagging.” Generally, the chain letter tag directions instructs you to describe five random facts about you nobody else knows, and then to link to five other (usually topically similar) bloggers, who must do the same thing.

How unimaginative.

First of all, the assigned task — 5 random things about me — asks me to reveal too much all at once. If you want to know five random things about me, just read my blog for five days. Don’t go asking me to give up a week’s worth of material in one post.

Second of all, the assignment is just too darned lazy. It’s like the guy who started the chain just phoned it in. Instead of asking a bunch of pointed questions that would force people to think and respond imaginatively, he took a swig of whiskey, looked at his blank screen, and said, “Well, I need to post something today, but I have no idea what. Wait, I know. I’ll ask other people to write something instead! Now, what should the questions be? Hmmm, that’s a poser. I know! I’ll make them make up their own questions! I’m brilliant!”

And then he fell asleep, drooling into his keyboard, while the keys left a QWERTY impression in his corpulent, veined cheeks.

I may be ranting a bit here.

My point is, the questions could at least be topical — you know, since I blog about biking, the questions could be about bikes.

Third — and finally — the Tag meme should carry a promise of reward and corresponding threat of infamy, financial ruin, and probable dismemberment if you brake the chain.

Here. I’ll show you what I mean.

You’ve Been Tagged!
Congratulations! Your blogging friend at [YOUR BLOG URL HERE] has tagged you! You must now — within the next 24 hours — answer the below questions as a post in your blog, and then tag three other biking bloggers.

Please, even if you know what you were going to write about today or tomorrow, put those ideas aside. This is much more important. For example, Elden Nelson answered these questions and tagged , and he won a Bloggie, confirming that he is the most awesome sports-related blogger in the whole freaking world!

In contrast, Bob Bringhurst failed to answer these questions, after which he developed a serious case of ennui, and his hair grew out to become an unruly mess.

You don’t want this to happen to you, do you?

Fine, then. Answer these ten (fun, easy, and interesting) questions already.

If you could have any one — and only one — bike in the world, what would it be?
It would be my WaltWorks. I love the way that bike looks and rides, and I can’t imagine ever loving another bike more. Seriously, it’s my favorite bike ever. But that’s still a cheater answer, since my WaltWorks — currently set up as a fully rigid SS — can also be set up as a geared bike with a front suspension. And skinny tires combined with the big wheels could make it a serviceable (though not great) bike for getting around on the road.

Do you already have that coveted dream bike? If so, is it everything you hoped it would be? If not, are you working toward getting it? If you’re not working toward getting it, why not?
Yes, I do already have that dream bike, and it’s actually more than I hoped it would be. I’d like to point out, though, that one of the things I love about bikes is that even the most expensive, elegant, beautiful bike in the world still costs less than a Honda Civic. Bikes are one of the very few obsessions in the world where a normal — i.e., not fantastically rich — person can conceivably own the very best incarnation of his dream ride, without breaking the bank.

If you had to choose one — and only one — bike route to do every day for the rest of your life, what would it be, and why?
I would choose Tibble Fork, and I would do so without hesitation. It is really my very favorite ride in the world, and I think I could do it happily every day for the rest of my life. I explain why it’s my favorite ride here.

What kind of sick person would force another person to ride one and only one bike ride to to do for the rest of her / his life?
Yeah, totally. That’s evil on a movie villain scale.

Do you ride both road and mountain bikes? If both, which do you prefer and why? If only one or the other, why are you so narrowminded?
I ride both, because I am a well-balanced and intelligent person, who sees the good in most things. I prefer mountain bikes, though I have definitely hurt myself much more often riding MTB than road. I am suddenly concerned about what this says about me. Still, I like riding MTB better because it’s more fun for me. I am at a loss as to why this is true, but it is.

Have you ever ridden a recumbent? If so, why? If not, describe the circumstances under which you would ride a recumbent.
I have never ridden a recumbent. In order for me to acquiesce to riding a recumbent, I would have to be out of town, where nobody I know could possibly see me. Also, I would have to have a good reason, like somebody offering to let me ride their recumbent.

Have you ever raced a triathlon? If so, have you also ever tried strangling yourself with dental floss?
I have raced one triathlon. It was an Xterra event. The swim nearly killed me. I harbor a desire to go and do an IronMan some day, but I’d want to do it without training for it, just so I could casually mention, “Yeah, I pulled an Ironman off, once. It was no big deal. Kind of tedious.”

Suppose you were forced to either give up ice cream or bicycles for the rest of your life. Which would you give up, and why?
I would claim to give up ice cream, but would sneak it when nobody was around. Impossible to sneak bicycle riding. Too much physical evidence laying around.

What is a question you think this questionnaire should have asked, but has not? Also, answer it.
“How did you get to be so unbelievably handsome?” would be my question, to which my answer would be a modest, “Oh, go on. I’m nothing special.”

You’re riding your bike in the wilderness (if you’re a roadie, you’re on a road, but otherwise the surroundings are quite wilderness-like) and you see a bear. The bear sees you. What do you do?
I’m fairly confident I soil myself. Next, I offer the bear my bike, in exchange for which I get to keep my life. From what I understand, bears like bikes. At least, the one I saw at the circus seemed to.

Now, tag three biking bloggers. List them below.
I hereby tag the following bloggers, of which there are more than three, because I want to get this thing really rolling. And also, because I suspect that most of them won’t do it.

Oh, and if I didn’t tag you, but you wish I had, by all means please consider yourself tagged.

Or you’ll get leprosy.


  1. Comment by Jen | 07.22.2008 | 9:02 am

    I’m with you as far as tagging goes. If fact one of the Blotanical bloggers recently posted something about not participating in Awards and Memes.
    While I am sure that many bloggers love them, many of us just want to blog. And we find it hard enough to find the time to do that. Awards are nice, but comments are better!


  2. Comment by Jeff | 07.22.2008 | 9:17 am

    I will be curious to see if bikesnobNYC responds to your tagging.

    And I agree with Jen, comments are so much more valuable than awards (of course, my blog has never won an award, so how would i know?).

  3. Comment by buckythedonkey | 07.22.2008 | 9:19 am

    All that so you could quietly confess to wanting a recumbent.


  4. Comment by Meghank | 07.22.2008 | 9:28 am

    @ buckythedonkey:


  5. Comment by Don | 07.22.2008 | 9:39 am

    @ Buckythedonkey: Wonderful! Great way to point that out. This was brilliance, Fatty. A bit tedious to read through, but brilliant.

  6. Comment by Corey | 07.22.2008 | 10:03 am

    Well, if nothing else, the link to Waltworks got me to check out his bikes…

  7. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 07.22.2008 | 10:13 am

    A great take on this maniacal tagging craze. MUCH more interesting than any “I’ve Been Tagged” post I’ve EVER seen and, believe me, I’ve seen A LOT of them (as log as 3 counts as a lot).

  8. Comment by Meghann | 07.22.2008 | 10:30 am

    I just told my husband that he has been tagged and needs to post something on our blog later in the week (probably Thursday). He is the cyclist so would be able to actually answer the questions. I prefer horses (although I enjoy bikes, too).

  9. Comment by dug | 07.22.2008 | 10:38 am

    you’re saying that if i answer these questions, we’re ALL SQUARE?

  10. Comment by Grizzly Adam | 07.22.2008 | 11:19 am

    Can Dug’s answers count for mine?

  11. Comment by Rocky | 07.22.2008 | 11:44 am

    I like the idea of leprosy for dub, Bob and Brad. The Bike Snob probably deserves it, too.

    I think you might look quite dashing on a recumbent. If you REALLY have not ever ridden a recumbent, you should give it a try. One of these would never do as a replacement for a real bicycle. However, as a recreational activity, it is one of those things that you do that disallows you to wipe the smile from your face.

    I plan on owning one when I am too old to ride a real bike. It arrives next week.

  12. Comment by Grizzly Adam | 07.22.2008 | 11:56 am

    Wait. I owe you a favor? I see how it is.

  13. Comment by bikemike | 07.22.2008 | 11:57 am

    i’m at homebase, your tag doesn’t count.

  14. Comment by fatty | 07.22.2008 | 12:10 pm

    grizzly – i answered your questionnaire; you have to answer mine.

    dug – you answer this and we’re all square favor-wise. but not otherwise.

    don – gee, thanks. always flattering to be called tediously brilliant. just for that, you’re tagged.

  15. Comment by Mocougfan | 07.22.2008 | 12:20 pm


    I rode part of that Tibble ride a few weeks back with my good friend Chris. I must admit that you are an idiot. I nearly died on that climb. The first mile was more than brutal. Course I’m not as good a climber as you are. Not nearly as good.

    However, I also climbed AF Canyon. So beautiful. 5:30am when it’s still cool and fresh. I can still smell it. That is a fun ride.

  16. Comment by Formely Bent022 | 07.22.2008 | 12:33 pm

    Fatty – Love the “QWERTY impression” comment, LOL.

    I not only live out of town, but out of state no one will recognize you in my small town so you are more than welcome to go for a ride on my recumbent. It has not been ridden since the arrival of the Cervelo and then the addition of the Gary Fisher and then the Fugi. Have I mentioned you have been a bad / good influence on me and my bike budget?

  17. Comment by Emily | 07.22.2008 | 1:01 pm

    You just cashed in all your favors… on a blog meme? I myself would have saved the favors for like, a ride to the airport or a loan of some carbon Zipps or something at least.

    Glad to hear you’re still on for Leadville by the way, good job on the shoulder rehab. Maybe I’ll run into you there

  18. Comment by Grizzly Adam | 07.22.2008 | 1:16 pm

    Look for my tag answers later in the week. For now, it’s time for the twins to be delivered.

  19. Comment by je | 07.22.2008 | 1:21 pm

    The only thing worse than tagging people on a blog is assaulting their ears — or the ears of the people they work close to — with unexpected blaring of songs like Bubbly by Colbie Callait.

    Thank you for not tagging me. :)

  20. Comment by Hamish A | 07.22.2008 | 1:39 pm

    *blushes and turns off Colbie on my iPod*

    Tagging seems as bad as those circular emails people send out to collect Birthdays. Along the lines of ‘I’m too embarrassed to admit I forgot your Birthday so I’ll bundle you in on this bulk email in the hopes you won’t take offense…’

    Although these days I can barely remember when my own Birthday is so perhaps one of those lists is a good idea.

    Recumbents. Hmmm. *scratches chin* Around here they’re only ridden by strange Men with big beards and those Croc shoes. Strange Men that wear baggy lycra without shame e v e r y w h e r e (even when they don’t have their ‘bike’ with them). I’m afraid I just don’t ‘get’ it. Which means it’ll probably be just like Singlespeeds (I ended up getting that after trying it once) 29ers (fell into that trap as well) and Dexter (for which I blame you entirely).

    No. I’m not ready for a recumbent yet. There’s just no more room to store another bike!

  21. Comment by Bob | 07.22.2008 | 1:48 pm

    I responded to your silly questions. Now I have work to do.

  22. Comment by leroy | 07.22.2008 | 3:05 pm

    Does the bear in the last question tap you on the shoulder, saying “Admit it, you don’t really come here for the hunting, do you?”

    That could affect anyone’s answer.

  23. Comment by KT | 07.22.2008 | 3:17 pm

    Wow, I’m glad I don’t have a blog.

    I have a hard enough time coming up with monthly articles for a local rag; I’d never be able to come up with stuff to say, endlessly, like most bloggers do.

    PS. Bob: great answers! :)

    WIN Susan!!

  24. Comment by JB | 07.22.2008 | 4:15 pm

    I followed a guy on a really cool looking recumbent coming into work the other day. It was all cool until he acted like a tourist and stopped at the Starbucks which is right next to the locally owned coffee shop. Fatty try a recumbent at your own risk of image, just don’t look like a tourist when you do it!

  25. Comment by Meaghan | 07.22.2008 | 4:20 pm

    So..HAVE you tried strangling yourself with dental floss?

  26. Comment by Bluenoser | 07.22.2008 | 4:27 pm

    I for one having been cut off by a momma bear and her cubs while riding on a local rails to trails now carry bear spray.

    Although a local comedian by the name of Ronny James says all the spray is good for is to spray in your own eyes so you can’t see the bear tearing off your limbs.

    Thanks for the MTB gift trick Fatty.


  27. Comment by GrizzlyAdam | 07.22.2008 | 5:37 pm

    OK, my answers are posted. I had some free time today (explained in the post). And believe me, answering all those questions took up A LOT of free time!

  28. Comment by DC Mark | 07.22.2008 | 6:38 pm

    I have come face to face with a bear.

    A very long time ago, when bears and tourists were near each other in Yellowstone, I was riding cross country with a friend. We decided to camp in Yellowstone. The last bit of the road went over a steep ridge with several switchbacks.

    As I came around one of these tight corners, there was Brother Bruin sitting in the middle of the lane I was in waiting to be fed by the next tourist. Since I was carry food in my jersey pockets I figured I was “meals on wheels” to the bear. I had no speed and with panniers and camping gear a sprint up a steep hill was out of the question.

    So, with nothing like a divine inspiration I did the only thing I could think of. I grabbed the frame pump and hit Brother Bruin in the nose. This produced no discernible reaction from the bear, but my friend behind me was yelling something about “now you’ve done it.” A few seconds later I was past the bear and he blinked like he was startled and trotted off into the woods. Frankly, I was more startled than the bear, I had no inkling that I would come up with such a dumb idea.

  29. Comment by Jill | 07.22.2008 | 7:54 pm

    I’m fairly certain you owe me no favors. But I’m up to the challenge anyway!

  30. Comment by Kent Peterson | 07.22.2008 | 11:10 pm

    I’ve just added this to the big list of favors you owe me. When I get enough of these favor points accumulated I’m going to use them to rent a circus bear that will bike up behind you on your favorite trail.

  31. Comment by Marilyn | 07.23.2008 | 6:29 am

    I saw a bear while out riding on Monday. I was leaving my neighborhood on my road bike and there was a bear sitting in the clearing near the road. I saw it. It saw me. I turned around and sprinted back home to get my husband and his camera so we could ride back and take pictures of it. Of course, the Florida Black Bear isn’t known to be ferocious.

  32. Pingback by spokesNspin » Blog Archive » Just One Bike? | 07.23.2008 | 6:53 am

    [...] just read some tagging going on out there via Fat cyclist.  One of the questions was regarding if you could have one bike what would it [...]

  33. Pingback by 100 KM » Blog Archive » Fat Cyclist Meme | 07.23.2008 | 11:17 am

    [...] directly tagged me yet, but I’m going to take advantage of Fatty’s indirect tagging and hop on board the [...]

  34. Comment by Heatherann | 07.23.2008 | 1:14 pm

    Awesome! I agree the tags can get kinda dumb. I still answer them, most of the time, but I don’t pass them on anymore. Except for when you are tagged with an award. (I don’t get many but then I do pass them on to my actually deserving blogging friends.) So consider yourself tagged again.
    My page is htttp://shimmymom.blogspot.com the post is on July 23, 2008. Go get your award!

  35. Comment by Tom | 07.23.2008 | 1:44 pm

    I used to live in a small town in Montana and came across black bears often. Generally they all took one look at me and ran. No real time for conversation.

    Now if it was a mountain lion….

    BTW the wild animal that cause the most human deaths…..besides other humans, and sasquatch…is the whitetail deer. Yes bambi is a suicidal killer, a literal car bomb whenever he (or she) goes out for a stroll on the highway. They really wreck your bike if you hit’em.

  36. Pingback by Sharing, Hopefully Not Too Much | meme patch | 07.23.2008 | 6:40 pm

    [...] to share the event that provoked the curse. I’ve been tagged with questions originated by Elden and passed on to Kent. The chain remains [...]

  37. Comment by Michael R, Portland Oregon | 07.23.2008 | 6:47 pm

    Kent Peterson passed on your gift. Four additional folks were tagged by me.

  38. Comment by Sierra | 07.24.2008 | 12:06 am

    The meme has crossed the border to the Yukon, Canada. It’s an international infection!

  39. Comment by Keith | 07.24.2008 | 5:20 am

    Mine’s up:


  40. Pingback by Cripes! Double tagged! « Bike Noob | 07.24.2008 | 7:00 am

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  41. Comment by Robb Sutton (198) | 07.25.2008 | 11:57 am

    Your questions are spreading! I just received a tag from Bicycle Design. Fun idea…I should have the post up tonight…

  42. Pingback by Tagged by Bicycle Design | Mountain Biking by 198 | 07.25.2008 | 8:50 pm

    [...] and that the same six things still applied. Well, in the same post, Ron also tagged Elden, aka Fat Cyclist, who actually did respond. Apparently though, Fatty has the authority to change the rules so instead of listing six random [...]

  43. Pingback by Handlebar Sandwich » Blog Archive » Fatty and Tagging | 07.26.2008 | 9:05 am

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  44. Pingback by Fat Cyclist Chain Letter Thing - Urban Velo | 07.27.2008 | 11:02 pm

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  45. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 07.30.2008 | 10:45 am

    Meaghan’s comment +1 :)

    You never did tell us if you’d tried to strangle yourself with dental floss… Obviously if you did, you survived, which is a good thing. :D

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  47. Pingback by Crankzone » Blog Archive » Tagged and tagged again | 09.8.2008 | 5:18 am

    [...] and that the same six things still applied. Well, in the same post, Ron also tagged Elden, aka Fat Cyclist, who actually did respond. Apparently though, Fatty has the authority to change the rules so instead of listing six random [...]

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