I Am Tired

02.26.2009 | 11:04 am

Everyone who reads, comments, and emails me about this blog has been remarkably cool about the fact that sometimes I use it to talk to myself about what’s going on in my life.

That said, I try pretty hard to keep from talking too often about how I’m doing, because the fact is I’m usually doing pretty bad these days, and if that’s what I talked about all the time, this wouldn’t be a very fun blog to read.

And I want it to be fun.

Anyway, a while back I discovered that if I have a little focus and discipline, I can write something funny even when I’m not feeling very funny at all.

But I’m also discovering that it takes quite a bit out of me.

I look at stuff I used to write before Susan’s cancer metastasized and I remember how easy it was to write funny posts back then.

It’s not like that now, though.

So, sometime yesterday afternoon, I decided I need to take a break. For the next ten days, I’m going to move over posts from my old Spaces blog — something I’ve wanted to do anyway. So there’ll still be a “new” post here every day. And — to get back to my original blog focus — I’ll be posting my current weight (184.0 today, by the way, so the Jell-O diet evidently rocks).

While I’m gone, I’ll be working on stuff that’s still blog-related; I have a couple ideas I’ve wanted to pursue but haven’t had energy for.

And when I come back March 10, I’m planning to have the energy to write the kind of posts I like writing.

Thanks for understanding.


  1. Comment by tom | 02.26.2009 | 11:07 am

    Rest up Fatty.

  2. Comment by SurlyCommuter | 02.26.2009 | 11:13 am

    Jello does rock my friend. I can never seem to eat it without re-enacting an old Bill Cosby bit where he pretends to be shaking so bad he can’t get it to his mouth. My daughters love it. Take the time to recharge your creative batteries, the muse will return I’m sure.

    WIN Susan!

  3. Comment by Hat | 02.26.2009 | 11:13 am

    I’m surprised you’ve held up this long, frankly. Those liveblogs of the ToC must have been exhausting. Good luck.

  4. Comment by southforkbikes | 02.26.2009 | 11:20 am

    that jello really threw you for a loop eh?

  5. Comment by chtrich | 02.26.2009 | 11:28 am

    Good on you! Rest and relax. Get back to where you need to be.

  6. Comment by John | 02.26.2009 | 11:31 am

    Enjoy your well deserved break.

    Oh, I didn’t comment on your first Jell-O post as I thought it was just way too obvious.

  7. Comment by Joe | 02.26.2009 | 11:35 am

    Praying that you’re able to get the rest you need! Win Susan!

  8. Comment by Mikeonhisbike | 02.26.2009 | 11:40 am

    Rest up Dude. Have a Jello for me while you’re at it.


  9. Comment by Hamish A | 02.26.2009 | 11:40 am

    Take care of yourself Fatty. Glad the Jello experiment is over!

    Rest well, WIN Susan!!

  10. Comment by Robert | 02.26.2009 | 11:43 am

    Get your rest Fatty. You’ve got support.

    !Win Susan!

  11. Comment by Jenny | 02.26.2009 | 11:44 am

    I blame the jello…I also really like reading the old stuff…so it’s all good

  12. Comment by Kali Durga | 02.26.2009 | 11:45 am

    Elden, you should take more breaks. Of course we’ll miss hearing from you, but no one who reads this blog could possibly feel that you don’t deserve as much rest as you can get, as often as you can get.

    Looking forward to you feeling funny again, but don’t forget to give us an update when you come back.

  13. Comment by Woody | 02.26.2009 | 11:48 am

    I hope you know that we love you for all the other stuff too – not just the funny stuff.

    Rest well, my friend!

  14. Comment by mike | 02.26.2009 | 11:52 am

    just make sure you coordinate with bikesnob, I am not sure what I would do if both of you took a break at the same time.

  15. Comment by Heidi | 02.26.2009 | 11:56 am

    Whoa, hope comimg down from the aspertame is an easy ride…

    Rest, recuperate, and love your lovely family.

  16. Comment by Melanie | 02.26.2009 | 11:59 am

    Have a good rest. And stay away fromt the jello.

  17. Comment by Hal Johnson | 02.26.2009 | 12:10 pm

    Enjoy your break. My opinion is that you’re a good writer, and you shouldn’t feel the need to put up a relentlessly upbeat front. If you’re staying away from darker stuff out of a sense of privacy, more power to you. If you’re staying away from dark stuff because you think your readership will evaporate, I suspect you’re wrong. But then, I could be wrong, and it ain’t my blog.

    Wishing the best for you and Susan.

  18. Comment by monkeywebb | 02.26.2009 | 12:16 pm

    The benefits of a spotty memory are many. I just can’t remember any of them right now. Except that while I’ve been reading your blog for years every time I read an old entry it’s as if it’s for the first time. You could never write a new entry I probably wouldn’t know the difference. I might get a bit confused when Jan Ullrich keeps making comebacks, but I can adjust.

    Take care of yourself.

  19. Comment by Clydesteve | 02.26.2009 | 12:20 pm

    jan is making a comeback? he should announce it here – he’s a fat cyclist, too.
    Fatty – Lord bless you and your family. Even when you are offline, which BTW is fine, you are still in my prayers daily at 2:01 PST or PDT as appropriate.


  20. Comment by Jenn | 02.26.2009 | 12:23 pm

    Yay for jello and yay for taking care of yourself. Hugs to you and your family. I’ll look forward to the new old posts since I am likely to have not yet read them.

  21. Comment by WheelDancer | 02.26.2009 | 12:24 pm

    You have a great sense of humor which makes reading your blog quite enjoyable but I find strength in watching how you address the challenges life has presented you. You do it quite well and from you I get energized. I’m glad to hear you are tired not because tired is so great but because you deserve to be.

    Rest, be well and keep up the good fight.

    Peace to you, win Susan and hey, don’t forget; win Eldon!

  22. Comment by eclecticdeb | 02.26.2009 | 12:27 pm

    I’m so glad that you are wise enough to recognize that in order to take care of your family, you need to take care of yourself.

    If, after your self-imposted timeline for a break, if you still feel it’s difficult to be funny, then just don’t. A good writer deals with stuff they know. Unfortunately, what you know right now is pretty crappy. But like Hal said, we’ll be here, no matter what you post.

    I wish I was there so I could help take care of you and your family. (I make a mean pot of Mexican Chicken Soup, and my Lasagna is legendary).

  23. Comment by Formerly Bent022 | 02.26.2009 | 12:28 pm

    Love your old posts and would enjoy reading them again.
    Rest up, we will all be here when you are ready to come back.
    Take care!

  24. Comment by bobbieh | 02.26.2009 | 12:31 pm


  25. Comment by bikemike | 02.26.2009 | 12:42 pm


    everyone go mess with dug.

  26. Comment by Todd Olson | 02.26.2009 | 12:42 pm

    Fatty -
    Good for you! Take care of yourself and take care of Susan. About ten years ago, my dad did not win – I know how hard it can be. Enjoy your break.

  27. Comment by Skidmark | 02.26.2009 | 12:49 pm

    Good on you, Fatty. In honor of your sabbatical, I’ll commit myself to 24 hours of sugar-free jello — no bananas — some time during the next 10 days. No green though. That stuff is nasty.

  28. Comment by sharon | 02.26.2009 | 1:01 pm

    I love your blog- I think you’re a cool guy and an awesome family man- which makes reading your blog even better. I can’t wait to read your old stuff! Take care of yourself and your family and know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

  29. Comment by Jouni | 02.26.2009 | 1:13 pm

    We’ll be here when you’re recharged and ready.
    Take care of you and yours.

  30. Comment by Kt | 02.26.2009 | 1:21 pm

    Fatty, you can count on your loyal army to be here when you get back.

    Besides, you definitely deserve a break from us– and we understand that you have a lot going on in your life, and that quite frankly, your family comes first.

    We dig it. We’ll be here.

    Also, count me as one of those people who never gets tired of reading your old stuff! Can you also pull some randomreviewer stuff over? I loved that blog.

    WIN, Susan!!!!!

  31. Comment by the greg | 02.26.2009 | 1:22 pm

    we love you fatty. the old ones are still funny, though you have gotten funnier.

  32. Comment by Katie | 02.26.2009 | 1:31 pm

    Let Bobby and I know if there’s anything we can do. We’d be happy to come take the kids for a while. Despite his best efforts, Bobby does freakishly well with children, so don’t hesitate to call/email/whatever. Seriously.

  33. Comment by Todd | 02.26.2009 | 1:39 pm

    Take as much time as you need Fatty!

  34. Comment by db | 02.26.2009 | 1:40 pm

    Make sure you get a ride in.

    Psst… Rabobank

  35. Comment by GJMAlcyon | 02.26.2009 | 1:42 pm

    We’ll be right here.

  36. Comment by Shiny Flu | 02.26.2009 | 1:46 pm

    You deserve a break. Enjoy it :)

  37. Comment by Rufus | 02.26.2009 | 1:57 pm

    Ditto what everyone has said so far- you and your wonderful family deserve this. You’ve gone above and beyond with this blog, and all us loyal Fatties will be here when you return.

    And I second kt’s request for some old RandomReviewer posts…those were classic!

  38. Comment by buckythedonkey | 02.26.2009 | 2:41 pm

    You eat all that jelly then wonder why you have to lay up for a week?

    Mate, do what you have to do. Try to remember that 2009 is the Year of the Recumbent. Lots of love, MMA&C.


  39. Comment by Di | 02.26.2009 | 2:44 pm

    Thanks, Fatty! Just, thanks. :-)

  40. Comment by cheapie | 02.26.2009 | 2:50 pm

    no way. that’s just not acceptable. i pay good money to read your…..errr…wait, nm. it’s free so go do what you gotta do.

  41. Comment by ann | 02.26.2009 | 3:00 pm

    Clearly all that energy is needed elsewhere. Go forth – with prayer for strength and good humor.

    Also, totally thought at first that all that jello was directly related to 4 children’s school lunches 5 days a week – voila, jello is gone pretty quick.

  42. Comment by Kathleen | 02.26.2009 | 3:02 pm

    Rejuvenate. We love you.

  43. Comment by Steve Courtright | 02.26.2009 | 3:03 pm

    Family first, fatty. That means you, too.

  44. Comment by Barb | 02.26.2009 | 3:09 pm

    We’ll be here when you get back.

  45. Comment by Sue | 02.26.2009 | 3:17 pm

    Fatty you go take care of yourself and that lovely family of yours. We will be thinking of you.

  46. Comment by gail | 02.26.2009 | 3:28 pm

    Take all the time you need, you are carrying a huge emotional load. As for the jello, I still say gag.

  47. Comment by Krissi | 02.26.2009 | 3:52 pm

    Being as I am new to your blog. I will just think it is all new. That is very handy. Best wishes and blessings for your family.

  48. Comment by bikesgonewild | 02.26.2009 | 4:05 pm

    …when you come back, i’d suggest a “david blaine” type stunt to ramp things up…

    …eldon, the fat cyclist, suspends himself in a huge bowl of lime jell-o…& slowly eats his way out, over a three day period…

    …all proceeds of this spectacular feat go to the win susan fund…

  49. Comment by Fletch | 02.26.2009 | 4:06 pm

    Take a load off mate. Go and spend some quality time with the family.
    At least your not 195lbs and 5ft 7in!
    All the best for the coming year, hope you get all you deserve.

  50. Comment by Charisa | 02.26.2009 | 4:14 pm

    Your courage and strength is really amazing. Hang in there! We are all rooting for you and Susan!

  51. Comment by Pinkbike | 02.26.2009 | 5:10 pm

    Do what you need to do, and we’ll all do the rest, that is, prayers will be continuing as always.

    Much love to you, Susan and your beautiful kids.

    Sue and Tom

  52. Comment by anji | 02.26.2009 | 5:26 pm

    no need to explain! Take all the time you need to do what you need to do! 10 hours, 10 days, 10 months… oh wait, 10 months? That’s crazy talk, haha…

    Keeping your family in my thoughts pretty near every day!

  53. Comment by Erine | 02.26.2009 | 5:26 pm

    Elden, you are amazing, as is your entire family. You are in our thoughts and prayers, and we eagerly await your return…

    Jello is still yuck.

  54. Comment by Linda | 02.26.2009 | 5:40 pm

    way to keep your priorities in check…and know that many of us are praying for you

  55. Comment by Mike Roadie | 02.26.2009 | 5:47 pm

    ‘Nuff said……………


  56. Comment by Pink | 02.26.2009 | 5:47 pm

    Take care of yourself, Fatty and take care of your family.

    I have dear friends who are fighting the same battle. It is not fun, but it’s worth it. Well, maybe not worth it, but whattaya gonna do?

    I am so sorry

    Love and prayers

  57. Comment by jenjen | 02.26.2009 | 5:58 pm

    Elden -
    Please let us know if there is anything we can do. I saw that Susan has a lot of bracelets to finish – does she need help? I would be glad to come over and help her. Or anything you might need.


  58. Comment by Paula Kirsch | 02.26.2009 | 6:07 pm

    Frankly Fatty, I care more about knowing how Susan & you are than I do about some of the trivial stuff you have posted lately. I know this is evil, and I apologize, but I feel greatly for your struggle together and it has MUCH more relevance to me than humor for humor’s sake. Sorry if ths is politically incorrect, but the courage you show has great meaning for me. You teach us all the kind of lessons will need to learn to cope with what faces humanity as it ages, as it lives, and as it dies.


  59. Comment by jb | 02.26.2009 | 6:45 pm

    Fatty, you & your brain have been part of my daily routine for years & I’ve thoroughly enjoyed your brain spawn. So give your brain a pat on the cerebellum for me & give it a rest for a while – that’s more than ok. You’re a good man.

  60. Comment by Jen W | 02.26.2009 | 6:49 pm

    Hang in there! I’m a pretty new reader so I’m looking forward to some of the “new” posts.

  61. Comment by John Hansen | 02.26.2009 | 6:50 pm

    Hey Fatty and freinds

    Check out http://www.teamtony.org

    He is my co-worker, and a GREAT guy.

    He is surviving and fighting brain cancer…

  62. Comment by Jaime O. | 02.26.2009 | 6:58 pm

    Take your time, Fatty. We’ll be here.

  63. Comment by eric | 02.26.2009 | 7:43 pm

    We will always support you and your family Elden. You, Susan and your kids will be in our thoughts and prayers. We may never meet and become true friends but in our own way, each of us here are your friends and we love you and yours as only family and friends can. We’ll keep the chatter up. Go and do what you need to do. We’ll be here.

  64. Comment by Doug | 02.26.2009 | 7:44 pm

    Take it easy. The corner mostly dry and a 30 min ride may do you some good. Hope to see you up there.

  65. Comment by mary | 02.26.2009 | 8:04 pm

    hmmmm I just read on bikerumor.com about Dave Zbranski’s house being completely cleaned out, cars, bikes etc. Perhaps really the next 10 days you plan to rid yourself of all these goods?

    Seriously Fatty, take some time for yourself and your family. Get out on your bike and give Susan a big hug

  66. Comment by justrun | 02.26.2009 | 8:06 pm

    I admire you for the way you’re able to keep this place going in the way you have. There are few bloggers out there, that can be as entertaining, touching, and thought provoking even on their best day.

    Looking forward to the old posts– they’re what got me here in the first place!

  67. Comment by Joshua Duggan | 02.26.2009 | 8:17 pm

    It’s okay Fatty, BSNYC takes a week off what seems like every two weeks, so I think you’re doing okay. :)

    Hope you get some rest and come back with a passion for…whatever it is you do, exactly.

  68. Comment by Jodi | 02.26.2009 | 8:21 pm

    I check in here daily to search for updates on your dear Susan. Your family is in our prayers. As a bonus: I am learning about cycling from reading here as I look for Susan notes! Please tell her we love her and she has an army lifting the whole family up for care and strength.

    Fatty: The true character of a man can be seen in the way he handles adversity such as you are facing. You are truly shining…take care of you. If in 10 days you can’t blog…we will still be caring and praying for you all.

    From Texas

  69. Comment by Margaret | 02.26.2009 | 8:36 pm

    G’day Fatty.

    First – What. They. All. Said. Plus, it’s *your* blog, so anybody criticising you for your choice of writing topic needs to pull their head in and go write their own ;-)

    Yes, everybody enjoys the fun stuff, and we totally understand if you want to keep it light. But as has already been mentioned, if that’s the *only* reason you’re doing it (as opposed to wanting to keep some private stuff private) then I hope you’re not feeling pressured to keep us entertained. You have enough to deal with.

    I’m one of your newer readers, so yeah, old stuff is new to me too! It’s all good :-)

    Take care, you and your beautiful family.

  70. Comment by Kala | 02.26.2009 | 8:37 pm

    Rest up, Fatty and know that I (and many others) are keeping you, Susan and your family in our thoughts and prayers. You are an amazingly strong person, and even strong people need to take a break sometimes :)

  71. Comment by harald | 02.26.2009 | 9:21 pm

    Enjoy yourself and your family!

  72. Comment by Jennifer | 02.26.2009 | 9:38 pm

    It’s all good. We’ll be here, and we’ll be here for you if you need us.

  73. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 02.26.2009 | 10:33 pm

    Rest, Fatty. WIN SUSAN!

  74. Comment by Marianne | 02.26.2009 | 11:07 pm

    Take all the time you need. I’ve been here for only a week, so all the “old” stuff will be new for me. Speaking as a yoga teacher, take all the time you need to renew and be kind to yourself. All the best to you and your family.

  75. Comment by Rob | 02.26.2009 | 11:10 pm

    Hey Fatty,

    Lately, after I finish reading one of your posts where you don’t mention anything about yourself or Susan, I find myself wondering how you are actually doing. When “real-life” friends are going through difficult times, you feel you should find out how things are going, if there’s anything you can do to help, and to just allow them to vent a little bit. I guess this is the cyberspace version of that. While most of your posts about your current situation are heart breaking, I still want to read them so I can find out how you are doing.

    So Fatty, if you want to post on here about how you’re doing, I will read it even if it’s not fun because I care about how you and Susan are doing. But if you don’t want to post about it, I completely understand that as well.

    Bottom line, do whatever you want to do or feel you should do. We’re going to be here no matter what.

  76. Comment by Susie | 02.27.2009 | 12:39 am

    ditto, what rob said…

  77. Comment by Janneke | 02.27.2009 | 1:58 am

    I must also (boringly) agree with Rob.

  78. Comment by ~Kristi | 02.27.2009 | 3:26 am

    I just starting reading your blog, came over from P.W. Have no desire to ever bike, but love reading your daily journal. I have Susan and your whole family in my heart as do thousands of people.
    Rest up.

  79. Comment by Loren | 02.27.2009 | 4:23 am

    Just wanted to say thanks. I know it takes a lot of time and effort for the web page and I just wanted to let you know I really appreciate it. Also thanks for ‘introducing’ me to Jill in Alaska and Mike Curiak. Enjoy your well deserved holiday. What about a pudding diet? I think it might go down easier.

  80. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 02.27.2009 | 7:39 am

    Sometimes you’ve got to just take care of yourself. Good for you! Good luck!

  81. Comment by Blorgh | 02.27.2009 | 8:32 am

    Take care, Fatty. Everyone needs a mental break once in a while.

  82. Comment by Debamundo | 02.27.2009 | 9:05 am

    Everyone deserves a break now and then, and you more than most, I would think. I hope you find it refreshing. Meanwhile, I happen to love when you repost old favorites. I get to enjoy them all over again. Love the Why I Am Fat one for today.

  83. Comment by Andrea | 02.27.2009 | 9:44 am

    Take all the time you need Fatty. Just like a desperate girlfriend, we will all be here waiting when you get back!

  84. Comment by Linda | 02.27.2009 | 9:59 am

    Dear Fatty,

    I just started reading your blog very recently. My boyfriend and I are weekend warriors on our mountain bikes. We love to get out there and get dirty and tired. I, however, know that you need some respite. Spend as much time as you can with Susan and as a family. My mom passed away five years ago from metastasized breast cancer. We knew she wouldn’t be long for this world so we really had the opportunity to talk and heal. I applaud your courage and devotion. My dad almost died himself taking care of her at home so please accept as much help as is available and stay positive. Miracles occur on a daily basis and one of them will visit your home.

    Take Care,

  85. Comment by Cate | 02.27.2009 | 12:32 pm

    We’ll all be here. Take care of yourself, Fatty.

  86. Comment by Dingbat | 02.27.2009 | 12:46 pm

    God bless, Fatty and Susan!
    Take a little sabbatical: refresh the fields, body, and mind–rest is part of life.

  87. Comment by Jenn @ Juggling Life | 02.27.2009 | 1:17 pm

    You’d be crazy if you weren’t tired. Rest up–and don’t worry so much about being funny–you’re real and that’s what this world needs. You’ll be funny again. I don’t always comment here, but your family is often in my thoughts.

  88. Comment by sara | 02.27.2009 | 7:33 pm

    I just recently discovered your blog and I have a lot of reading left to do, so I for one am happy to read some of your old posts.
    Thank you for your humor, but also for sharing who you are and what you’re going through. I love your blog not only because it’s funny, but also because it’s so honest. Although I’ve never met you or Susan, I want you to know that you are both in my thoughts and I am wishing you guys the best of health.

  89. Comment by Rabbit | 02.27.2009 | 8:59 pm

    Hi Fatty,
    I’ve been very close to what you are going through and my Mum gave me some good advice. You have to do what you need to do no matter how strange it might seem to others. Follow your heart and listen to you body. You’ve got a lot of support and love here and your so strong as is Susan and your kids.
    Do what ya gotta do when ya gotta do it!
    Hope the energy to smile returns soon.
    Thinking of you

  90. Comment by Saso | 02.28.2009 | 3:50 am

    Good luck and lot of inspiration. I will be waiting.

  91. Comment by Undomestic | 03.1.2009 | 10:11 am

    Still praying for you and your family!


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