My Truck Is Stinky

03.23.2009 | 11:39 am

I am not a person who concerns himself with appearances. I’m 43 years old (almost), balding, portly, have no fashion sense at all, and was never good-looking to begin with.

So I don’t worry about how I look, and I don’t mind that a lot of people think my truck — a Honda Ridgeline — is odd-looking, too. This is the best vehicle I have ever had: it’s comfortable, it’s roomy, and it lets me easily hold four people, our stuff, and our bikes for a biking road trip.

Unfortunately, however, my truck stinks.

Many Culprits

Naturally, upon detecting that my truck stinks, my inclination is to remove the source of the smell. Sadly, however, it is not that simple. You see, the stench that emanates from my truck is complex. It’s a multitude of things, all of which are intensified when the weather’s warm, and all of them are bike-related.

Helmet, gloves, shoes, shorts and jerseys: If you are a cyclist, you almost certainly have a bag in which you carry your riding gear. So here’s an interesting experiment: Put your head inside that bag and inhale — through your nose, no cheating — deeply.

Once you wake up, go put that same bag — still containing all your riding gear — in the oven and set the temperature to 140 degrees.

No, your significant other won’t mind. Why would s/he?

Let it bake for half an hour, then go open the oven and breathe deeply. You have just accurately simulated the primary smell component of my truck after it’s been sitting in a parking lot all day.

Congratulations!

Tubes: Have you ever smelled a bike tube? You haven’t? Go do it, right now. I’ll wait.

[Waits for five minutes]

Surprised, weren’t you?

By itself, that smell’s no big deal. But of course, that smell isn’t by itself. It’s just a part of the stew of stink in my truck.

Lube: I always keep a bottle of Dumonde chain lube in my truck. And of course by “keep,” I mean that there is never a moment in which somewhere in my truck, a bottle of Dumonde is not leaking. And that stuff, in addition to being about as industrial-grade as lube can get, has a sharp odor to it. Basically, Dumonde chain lube smells like a flick on the nose feels.

Go ahead and flick yourself on the nose. I’ll wait.

The Bike: You wouldn’t think a bike would have a smell. Especially a road bike, which is the bike I keep inside the cab; the mountain bikes have to ride coach.

But bikes do indeed have a smell, if you count the saddle.

Go ahead, go smell your saddle. NO. I WAS JUST KIDDING. DON’T GO SNIFF YOUR SADDLE. THAT’S GROSS.

Passengers: I am sad to report that many of my friends, after riding a bike for 2-14 hours, smell pretty bad. And it’s a dynamic badness with peaks and plateaus (but no valleys, alas). And while I theoretically could lay out towels and blankets and demand that everyone apply post-ride deodorant, I am not going to.

Which means that my passengers leave a little something behind.

Me: I’m just kidding of course. I make no smell at all. Ever.

The Solutions

So what does one do when the thing one likes best makes one’s vehicle smell like a cross between a locker room and a bike shop?

Well, there are several solutions, each of which I have tried. Sometimes together.

Rolling down the window. This works great, for as long as you have the window rolled down. And the folks in the back seat really really seem to love all that wind, too!

Those tree things you hang from your rear-view mirror: There are a number of problems with these. First of all, they smell nothing like a tree. Go smell a tree right now, then go smell one of those evergreen-shaped air “fresheners.” I’ll wait.

No, just kidding, I’m going on without you.

The second thing is that these little air fresheners may as well be giant neon billboards with the text “VERY STINKY AUTOMOBILE” flashing. Which, while undoubtedly an effective auto theft deterrent, is still quite embarrassing.

Incense / potpourri: There are almost too many problems to count with these two. First, it’s not easy to keep the incense lit when you’ve got the air conditioner going. Second, every time you stop, the potpourri spills out of its decorative bowl and gets all over the place. Third, I’m simply far too straight to use either of these.

Also, I freely admit that three problems isn’t really “almost too many to count.”

Citrus spray: This is in fact what I have started using to de-stenchify my car:

stinkytruck.jpg

I’m very pleased at how effective it is. A quick spray around the cab — and a rather more direct and extensive spray at my passengers — leaves my truck smelling just like oranges, for about thirty seconds. Then it smells a little bit like sweaty oranges. Eventually, the smell levels off to orange-y sweat.

Which is still an improvement.

71 Comments

  1. Comment by bobbieh | 03.23.2009 | 11:45 am

    Re: Lance’s collarbone ~ DAMN!!!

  2. Comment by Philly Jen | 03.23.2009 | 11:45 am

    That’s gotta be our Team Fatty slogan right there: “Make way for the power of sweaty oranges!”

  3. Comment by JAT in Seattle | 03.23.2009 | 11:51 am

    I have this problem too – my car smells vaguely of feet. Unfortunately my 12 yr old will regularly take his shoes off in the back seat.

    “Jonathan,” I’ll say, “did you just take your shoes off?”
    “yes.”

    The fact that I have some actual feet I can blame the smell on totally derails my motivation to find a solution for the real culprit: my sweaty cycling stuff.

    Sweaty Orange Creamsicle? Hmmm….

  4. Comment by phb | 03.23.2009 | 11:55 am

    Lance was reading fatty’s blog, tried to sniff his saddle, and went down…how else do you explain it?

  5. Comment by matt | 03.23.2009 | 11:55 am

    try putting a couple dryer sheets under your seets, works pretty good

  6. Comment by MikeonhisBike | 03.23.2009 | 11:59 am

    I love the smell of sweaty oranges in the morning.

    Mike

  7. Comment by Big Boned | 03.23.2009 | 12:00 pm

    As I am not a two-time award winning world famous blogger, and still need a full stable of bikes…I work at my buddies bike shop for a couple hours on Sunday afternoon. I meet a lot of great people, sell a couple of bikes, and get great deals on all the goodies I need to keep my stable fresh and happy.
    According to my wife, that brief period of time leaves me “smelling like bike grease”. As in she claims she smells me before she sees me when I get home. I’m going to give your orange spray a try and report back on if it gets me a little more appreciation when I get home!
    BB

  8. Comment by lin | 03.23.2009 | 12:02 pm

    Have you ever tried Febreeze?

  9. Comment by SurlyCommuter | 03.23.2009 | 12:10 pm

    Ahh yes – the symphony of stink that makes up the maloderous fog that exists only inside my Jeep. I’ve found that whatever they put in those industrial grade window cleaners seems to seek out and destroy any living breathing odor producing lovelies that might be taking up residence in the nether regions of my vehicles interior.

    WIN!

  10. Comment by rich | 03.23.2009 | 12:14 pm

    yep – same problem here…..
    All my bike stuff and gear goes in the back of the truck (campershell luckily) so it’s not that so much as the smell of all my riding buddies after a nice long road or mt bike ride that has fouled my truck.
    Like you, I smell fine it’s my buddies that stink.

    I’ve gone to using Febreeze automotive and it seems to work pretty well….

  11. Comment by Lizzylou | 03.23.2009 | 12:19 pm

    How the heck do you get your road bike in the cab? I mean, I agree that it deserves preferential treatment, but usually giving my bike an ‘inside’ seat requires removing a few wheels and lowering the seat post. Is it really that roomy in the cab?

    That is in fact one of the many, many reasons I love my Ridgeline. The back seats flip up with just one motion, and then a roadbike will roll right in without taking off any wheels.

    Seriously, it may be the best bike-lovers vehicle ever made. Details here. – FC

  12. Comment by The Incredible Woody | 03.23.2009 | 12:22 pm

    Car Jars by Yankee Candle work wonders!! And you have a vast array of scents. My favorite is Clean Cotton – makes your car smell like fresh laundry.

  13. Comment by Melanie | 03.23.2009 | 12:23 pm

    I’m willing to try almost any suggestion. My husbands car smells disgusting. Add to all the formentioned odors – cat. Febreeze doesn’t cut it. I’ll look for the orange spray stuff and I’ll put dryer sheets under all the seats.

  14. Comment by bikemike | 03.23.2009 | 12:27 pm

    my 12 year old boy has the same problem…his new nickname is ridgeline.

  15. Comment by tidusblue | 03.23.2009 | 12:27 pm

    I use that stuff on my hockey gear, works great.

  16. Comment by Clydesteve | 03.23.2009 | 12:27 pm

    does the parking ticket actually help the stink?

    i mean the caption implied…

  17. Comment by Jim | 03.23.2009 | 12:32 pm

    I have a problem with bicycle-related manstink too. Febreeze on all the cloth parts helps. The other thing is to get one of those 5 pound plastic cannisters of stink-eating waxy goo from Home Depot or Lowes. They keep it in the cleaning products section. It’s engineered to eat the big stink produced when 90 sweaty roofers are hanging out and smoking and eating greasy food in a crowded foreman’s trailer on a construction site in July, or for when a septic tank explodes showering the area with raw sewage. It works pretty well for that.

    It *might* be enough to cope with your stench. Otherwise, have you considered stripping the truck down to bare metal and just hitting the inside with some kerosene and a flamethrower once or twice a week?

  18. Comment by Mike | 03.23.2009 | 12:42 pm

    Fatty,

    Someone just told me the other day that coconut takes the stink out of anything. How, exactly, do you use it to take the stench out? That’s the part I’m still trying to figure out.

    If you try it, let me know how it works.

  19. Comment by jen | 03.23.2009 | 12:43 pm

    My children add to the stink – farting in the back sit. these are eyewatering open the window even when it is 10 below farts.
    I suggest baking soda in the ash trays.

  20. Comment by Aaron | 03.23.2009 | 12:45 pm

    Isn’t there a Seinfeld episode about this?

  21. Comment by mark | 03.23.2009 | 12:46 pm

    One of my friends makes us put towels down before sitting in his car (I don’t know if this is all the time or just when we’re riding, because I’ve never ridden in his car except to and from rides). He claims it’s cuz his wife complained about the smell. But we all know his wife has her own, much nicer car and doesn’t degrade herself by riding in his.

    I’ve found ozium (available at auto parts stores) works well. Febreeze doesn’t cut it. Of course I only use ozium once per vehicle, right before I sell it, so I don’t know about long term usage.

  22. Comment by Matt | 03.23.2009 | 12:55 pm

    All in all another very humorous (yet sadly true) post.

    HOWEVER, did I miss something? A post that I haven’t seen yet? What you might be wondering am I talking about?? WEll….WHAT ABOUT THE BIKE??? (no matter WHAT Lance with the broken collarbone says, it IS all about the bike!) HOW DID IT RIDE? Do you miss having gears yet? Do your knees feel like you are mistreating them? Did you crash? Did the bike give you newfound superpowers? Were you able to crush and grind any and all contenders into cycling putty? (and does it stink yet?)

    I find that I LIKE the smell of Dumond chain lube. Also Tri-Flow (a friend from a diff blog coined this phrase for the smell of Tri-Flow: “It smells like Fun’s gonna happen”) Love that phrase…and it is SO TRUE! However I can live without the rest of the odors, thank you.

  23. Comment by chtrich | 03.23.2009 | 1:11 pm

    Fatty,
    Where did you find the Pure Citrus? I used to always get it at Wal-Mart, but they seem to no longer carry it. I need more! Thanks.

    Either the Kohler’s or the new Smiths. – FC

  24. Comment by Karst | 03.23.2009 | 1:16 pm

    Did I miss a post on the results of the experiment with the twins, the one that made this blog “educational”?

    In any case, there have been some really great posts lately; many thanks…and best wishes…

  25. Comment by 29er | 03.23.2009 | 1:26 pm

    The worst car stench we ever had was from a half consumed gel pack (Some gross flavor I couldn’t finish) I set in carefully in the door pocket and forgot about it. Luckily it didn’t leak and ooze but it put off an enormous stink after a few weeks. I’ll never let that happen again.

  26. Comment by Lowrydr | 03.23.2009 | 1:52 pm

    Pineapple Mango combo works wonders even after a night of Beans and Brats. Get it at the auto supply store in the better smell isle(<pun).

  27. Comment by Robb Sutton (198) | 03.23.2009 | 1:56 pm

    My truck can get pretty bad sometimes. Old energy bars, sweaty biking shorts, muddy Specialized shoes…you name it…it goes in the back of my Tahoe.

    Don’t even get me started on the way it is after a long weekend epic like the one we just had last weekend in Pisgah Forest, NC. Getting home late and being too lazy to unload the DAYS of riding that is just festering in the back…

    It’s all worth it though…cuts down on my carpooling!

    -198

  28. Comment by Hamish A | 03.23.2009 | 1:57 pm

    2nd the baking soda, I use it in my cycling shoes (let’s not investigate that particular smell. Ever). and it works really well.

    The other stuff I found was a natural deodorant from Petsmart which is designed to de-stink where a male cat has marked. Good stuff for those more stubborn smells.

    The only other thing is burning fresh sage. It’s an acquired sensory experience but if that doesn’ get rid of the stink then it’s time for a new truck!

    So seriously, how was the Superfly?

  29. Comment by Robb Sutton (198) | 03.23.2009 | 1:58 pm

    Still can’t beat the mountain air smell though…

  30. Comment by martha van inwegen | 03.23.2009 | 2:40 pm

    Fatty, I can help with your friends “personal” stink. Email me your address so I can send you a pack of Action Wipes (www.actionwipes.com) – just give one to each before they get in the truck and tell em to wipe down!

  31. Comment by bklyn74 | 03.23.2009 | 2:46 pm

    When I was in high school and needed to get some smells out of my mom’s car that would have most certainly gotten me into serious hot water I’d use this spray called “ozium”. It really seemed to eat up the odor. Don’t know if it’s still around but I’d get it at Kmart or the like.

  32. Comment by Rob | 03.23.2009 | 2:47 pm

    Get a bottle of Nilodor. This stuff doesn’t cover up the smell, it eliminates it. 1 drop will get rid of the smell in your truck. 3 drops will get rid of the smell in your entire basement.

  33. Comment by jason griese | 03.23.2009 | 2:48 pm

    Gotta have the Pure citrus. In the bathroom and one for back up.

  34. Comment by donbiker | 03.23.2009 | 3:06 pm

    Thanks for yet another advantage of starting my rides by opening the garage door and rolling my sanity machine out into the sunshine or rain or fog.

  35. Comment by wishiwasmerckx | 03.23.2009 | 3:24 pm

    Eldon, I fear that you are not being forthright with us. Is there not a connection with the smell in your truck and the Chipotle giftcard?

  36. Comment by not a cyclist...... | 03.23.2009 | 3:30 pm

    Um, looks like you have leather seats, so I’d try some Maguire’s leather wipes to clean the funk out of the seats. Also is fun when you slam your brakes on and your friends go sliding forward!

  37. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 03.23.2009 | 3:58 pm

    I would like it noted that after RAWROD ‘08, I did not puke in your truck. If you’ll recall, I politely asked you to pull over so I could puke on the side of the road. Twice.

    Since puke smells 20x worse than my body odor, I have actually made your truck smell BETTER by riding in it, not worse.

  38. Comment by Marla | 03.23.2009 | 4:14 pm

    10 years of working in a bike shop, my nose couldn’t smell the rubber. People would come in the store and ask what that smell was. I had no idea what they were talking about. Now, being away from it for a few years, I understand!!

  39. Comment by Car in Bluffdale | 03.23.2009 | 4:17 pm

    A gallon of milk was spilled in our 1969 station wagon when I was growing up and it morphed into different stenches thru the seasons. The WORST thing you can do is add another “flavor” to it! Get rid of the orange!

    You need an enzyme cleaner that will eat up all the proteins and various nasty stuff in your upholstery and carpet. You can find it at any pet store–it is the stuff you spray when your pet has an accident on your carpet. HOWEVER, they put their own “fragrance” into the spray and it smells like a cheap dime store from the 70’s. I would go to TheCleanTeam.com and order their enzyme cleaner called Stain Gobbler. None of their cleaning supplies have any fragrance at all, are biodegradable and work perfectly. It also comes in handy getting the pee smell out of grout in the tile around the toilet (i have 3 little boys).Oh, and it gets barf smell out of carpet :)
    http://www.thecleanteam.com/productdetail.cfm?id=1214

  40. Comment by FlatsMan | 03.23.2009 | 4:23 pm

    Here’s what you do about smelly bits.
    As related to me by an ex USAF ground crew chief.
    The interior of fighter jets stink, really stink and so does the crews gear, he told me.

    Buy plastic spray bottles, a bottle of the cheapest after shave there is, Afta is what I use. A 90c bottle of industrial alchohol. Pour a healthy dollop of Afta and fill the bottle to about 50% with alchohol, top up with water and shake.

    After every ride, before you get into the truck spray shoes, helmets and all gear carried in pockets with the mix. I also spray it on self if going into a diner to eat. After arriving home spray the interior of the truck too. It works a treat, better than orange, cheaper than car deoderants and smells way better. Keep one bottle in the truck and one at home.

    And please note here in FLA we smell worse than anywhere in the nation what with 900 degrees and 110 % humidity. Jul – Nov.

    Smell lad, smell, you havn’t smelled anything until you’ve smelled a Floridian !!!

  41. Comment by fremont mike | 03.23.2009 | 4:40 pm

    Ozium!!!

    It eliminates odors!!!

    http://www.walgreens.com/store/product.jsp?CATID=100466&id=prod1098956#review

    or for the link wrap challenged-

    http://tinyurl.com/d4pvtw

    I have a can of this in my truck just for these occasions…

    mj

  42. Comment by rexinsea | 03.23.2009 | 5:17 pm

    If orange-y sweat is an improvement, your Ridgeline must really STINK!

    In fact, that may have even been the headline! – FC

  43. Comment by wirehead | 03.23.2009 | 5:31 pm

    It’s at moments like this that I’m quite glad that I start and end all my bike rides at home (even the mountain-biking ones) and can thus give myself and all applicable stinky equipment a good hosing-down immediately upon the end of exercise.

  44. Comment by L'Hippo | 03.23.2009 | 6:06 pm

    Nothing can be as bad as a teenagers hockey gear. That being said when my xterra gets bad I just roll the windows down and park it in a sunny spot on a nice 100 degree afternoon. The dry heat kills all living organisms inside. Though maybe not as warm in UT as Texas that dry air should work wonders. Won’t do much on chain lube though.

  45. Comment by Charisa | 03.23.2009 | 6:16 pm

    Does Pure Citrus make you crave orange juice when you are driving? Or maybe just oranges?

  46. Comment by Erine | 03.23.2009 | 6:19 pm

    I have a friend who lost a foil-wrapped roast beef sandwich in his truck for almost a month.

    Of course, this was in the heat of our Carolina summers, he was in the field for a few weeks, and the sandwich had full reign of the locked cab. The smell was unbelievable and defies, even to this day, adequate description. It was a month before my friend could drive his truck without retching. He drove with his head sticking out the window the rest of the summer and into the fall.

    After a good cleaning and deodorizing, various treatments and an exorcism by the local priest, the truck still smelled like a**.

    Finally, out of desperation, my friend bought a car deodorizer and hung it on the dash. It was cherry scented, but the truth is the cab still smelled- like cherry scented a** rather than plain a**. I can’t say it was an improvement.

    It’s been several years now, but when the moon hangs low over these Carolina shores and the humidity and heat drift up with the coming of summer, the stench returns…

    So, good luck with your funky truck!

  47. Comment by Heather | 03.23.2009 | 6:37 pm

    Ew. This reminds me of the time my college roommate bought an orange spray to try and mask our suitemate’s constant stinking up of the bathroom. Like your situation, the best it did was make the bathroom smell like poop and oranges. Somehow, more gross than before. Febreeze is the best I’ve used to date. I like the linen scent.

  48. Comment by VA Biker | 03.23.2009 | 6:43 pm

    Um, so was the ticket worth it?

    Also, about the spray, is it corrosive at all? Some citrus-based cleaners are quite corrosive. I figure this has oils in it, but anything else? I’d hate to spray the interior, hard-molded parts of the car and damage them…

  49. Comment by Mike Roadie | 03.23.2009 | 6:43 pm

    Cant you keep the friends back in the bed?

    I would prefer a smelly orange jersey to the black one!

    Lance’s collarbone–there goes my signed pink Giro jersey!!!

    My signed 2008 RFTR Poster, personally autographed by Lance, is up for auction on eBay—all proceeds going to the LAF……..

    Thanks

  50. Comment by bubbaseadog | 03.23.2009 | 6:57 pm

    go to a carwash and ask for the new car smell.and while your there buy some of those little tree things you hate. unpkg all three and sniff them wile your driving home from a ride.oh yeah be sure and and buy some great cds at the car washtoo. lance will ride again and live strong …..winsusan

  51. Comment by Bitter (formerly known as Lissee) | 03.23.2009 | 7:49 pm

    I personally like the anti-microbial febreze. It seemed to work well in my NYC 90 year old apartment. … And that’s saying something.

  52. Comment by dougg | 03.23.2009 | 8:47 pm

    My bike gear is nothing compared to my hockey equipment!
    Of course I don’t mind the smell of either one but my wife has never complained about my bike stuff like she does with my hockey gear.

  53. Comment by MommyAmy | 03.23.2009 | 9:14 pm

    Ah, the man scent. I know it well.

    Have you tried fabreeze?

    Or what about those things for the refrigerator filled with baking soda? Baking soda really is awesome at absorbing odors! You could sprinkle the carpet of your car with it and then vacuum it up… better yet! Use carpet fresh! It has baking soda in it AND it smells fresh and clean.

  54. Pingback by Stones Cry Out - If they keep silent… » Things Heard: e60v2 | 03.24.2009 | 7:09 am

    [...] Of stink and men (and truck). [...]

  55. Comment by Ms. Tart | 03.24.2009 | 7:17 am

    Working in the theatre and in props, we buy many things from Antique Malls and Goodwills and such. When we get a stinking trunk or ottoman or whatever we always have a spray bottle of cheap vodka ready to spray the offending object. I would spray down your truck when you get home and leave the windows open. The vodka evaporates and all the offending odors go by-by. Newspaper also absorbs odors as well.

  56. Comment by adsm | 03.24.2009 | 8:16 am

    Too funny! Add a wet dog to the mix…or two. No, really. NOW go smell the car. It’s a great theft deterrent though!

  57. Comment by Michaela | 03.24.2009 | 8:39 am

    Try putting a mostly wrapped bar of soap under your seat. It helps absorb some of the smell. My mom’s been using this trick for years. Or you know, a bar of soap under EVERY seat :)

  58. Comment by geasel | 03.24.2009 | 8:46 am

    try Pure Ayre it works well on my 13 year old hockey goalie stench and it leaves a slightly minty scent.
    http://www.pureayre.com/

  59. Comment by Jenny-Jenny | 03.24.2009 | 8:59 am

    So many good ideas…I will eventually try them all. But I will be trying them in teenage boys bedrooms…. every smell you have all named in a room where two boys sleep…

  60. Comment by Tenntrace | 03.24.2009 | 10:31 am

    We got a free sample bottle of a new Febreeze called Febreze® SPORT Extreme Odor Eliminator. It seems to work on my oldest daughter’s shoes and isn’t perfumey smelling. Not sure how it would fare against the odors in your truck though. Maybe you can talk the Febreeze folks into being a tester for future products. So…. if the antimicrobial/enzyme sprays don’t work, I would try this. According to their page “It penetrates deep into fabrics and contains scientifically designed X-Sweat Technology™ to neutralize sports odors at the source.” Wonder how your friends would react to being sprayed down with this……

  61. Comment by theveganvagabond | 03.24.2009 | 10:51 am

    So funny!
    And sadly I can relate…

  62. Comment by Uncle Ned | 03.24.2009 | 11:23 am

    My best truck stink story involves a camping trip, an incontinent raccoon and a broken sliding rear window on my 1992 GMC Sierra. . . I won’t get into specifics, but when a wild animal has the entire world to use as it’s toilet, it’s not extremely flattering to have the cab of your truck chosen as the most appropriate spot for the dirty bugger to cop a squat.

    Let THAT bake all day in the sun, come back to your truck and see if you want to go for a ride. The best part of the situation is that my wife was able to drive the truck to town and back with the windows up (I swear the stench would have made a Navy Seal hurl) and have the gall blame my (admittedly) poor hygiene by proclaiming “some sandwich or pork chop or something you left under the seat is starting to stink” Thank god for cheap vinyl interiors that can be hosed out.

    . . . good times . . . good times.

  63. Comment by Michelle | 03.24.2009 | 1:17 pm

    My car smells too – but I think that it’s not bike related – it’s camping related. And right now it’s melted snow/salt/sand dried out in my carpets and baking in the spring sun – and add to that all the stuff that has accumulated in my car in the past 9 months. I’m afraid to clean it out for fear of what I may find…but Elden – your descriptions just about made me spit out my coffee. And for that I would have been upset as I am a wee bit tired and need my caffeine! As to the orangey sweaty smell – I think that may be better than piney sweaty smell!
    Thanks for the laughs!

  64. Comment by swtkaroline | 03.24.2009 | 10:30 pm

    Fremont Mike beat me to the punch of suggesting Ozium. It’s amazing stuff. I used to be the fleet manager of a large company, and my boss *always* smoked in her company car. No one knew, because she used Ozium.

  65. Comment by Phil | 03.24.2009 | 11:27 pm

    Here in Canada your car would get towed if your plates were expired.

  66. Comment by Ryan | 03.25.2009 | 11:37 am

    My last trip to SLC Bike Co netted me a parking ticket as well. Guess there is a reason nobody parks out front. As for my recommendation, embrace the smell, wear it as a badge of honor.

  67. Comment by Big Boned | 03.25.2009 | 1:03 pm

    Erine’s post above reminded me of something I haven’t thought of in years.
    I was in the Army for 22 years. Lots of practical jokers in my unit when I was with the SF group. I can’t remember WHY (I’m sure it was deserved) one of my buddies did this to the other, but he went to the store and bought a couple cans of sardines. He poured the oil from the cans all over the manifold of his friends car and placed the tins of sardines under the back seat. We then went to the field for a week and the car sat in the sun that whole time just waiting.
    We got back from the field and that car was more than a match for any ionizer, orange spray, or other “magical” formula any of you have espoused the virutes of. That car reeked for months (mostly because he ‘fessed up to the oil on the manifold, but not the cans under the seat and the cans under the seats went undiscovered for weeks). The “stinkee” eventually got “even” by using a forklift to lift the “stinkers” car about 8 feet in the air, then going home with the key to the forklift in his pocket.

  68. Comment by anne henderson | 03.25.2009 | 2:09 pm

    Try a thin slurry of baking soda & medicine cabinet hydrogen peroxide. Apply liberally & let it dry completely. After you vacuum it up, the smell should be (mostly) gone.
    Loved the Lance story!

  69. Comment by Alex | 03.25.2009 | 3:01 pm

    So I am left wondering….Where did the superfly ride on the way home…..I mean it didn’t ride coach did it????

    If the road bike gets to go up front but the super fly rides in the back the only excuse for this would be to not expose that beauty to the smell….

  70. Comment by cyclegoddess | 03.26.2009 | 2:58 am

    be careful of that scented crap, its usually toxic. And all most air things do is either mask the scent, or provide a temp block for your nose( like lysol).

    Baking soda (and hydrogen peroxide*) kills any odor( I had a house rabbit. Try the scent of a 5 lb unfixed buck bunny, in a enclosed house, in a Australian summer. Yummy. *But not on upholstery.
    I HAVE smelled some guys( as they rode by) that could have used a little arm and hammer sprinkled on em….

    That enzyme stuff sounds great!
    Too bad you couldnt just dip your shorts in it…

  71. Comment by Banger | 03.26.2009 | 8:32 pm

    I highly recommend you switch riding styles and buy a Kona. Then you will have a Stinky to put in your truck and make the whole situation much more explainable. It worked for me. At least until I upgraded to a Stab. Now I have frequent problems with the police.

 

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.