03.25.2009 | 9:31 pm

Paul, my mom’s husband, passed away today. He was at home and with the people he loved most.

He was a tough guy, he was a smart guy, and he was a good guy. Even though he’s been sick for quite some time, he often insisted that he was fine and could take care of himself for a few days so my mom could come help me out here.

And just a couple weeks ago he told me, with some urgency, that it was very important that I remember to keep getting out on my bike and staying balanced, so I’d be able to take care of my family. It’s good advice.

Paul was 82, and had successfully battled more recurrences of skin cancer than I think even he could count. Like I said, he was a tough guy.

Most importantly, Paul and my mom had a good, happy marriage.

Like a lot of people, I’m going to miss Paul. And like a lot of people, I admire him for what he did and who he was.

PS: Jodi’s got more to say over at her blog.


  1. Comment by Par | 03.25.2009 | 9:36 pm

    I hear you. Listen to Paul. I think I will, too. Good post

  2. Comment by Dustin | 03.25.2009 | 9:43 pm

    My condolences. I have a mother in love fighting for her life from Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer currently. Just started reading your blog and it’s helped both my wife and I. Thank you for being such a strong voice.

  3. Comment by Dustin | 03.25.2009 | 9:43 pm

    *law, not love.

  4. Comment by jessi | 03.25.2009 | 9:45 pm

    so sorry to hear about your loss. cancer sucks… looking forward to finding the cure.

  5. Comment by nono | 03.25.2009 | 9:47 pm

    So very sorry to hear of your family’s loss.

  6. Comment by LuckyLab | 03.25.2009 | 9:51 pm

    My condolences to the whole Fatty family.

  7. Comment by Di | 03.25.2009 | 9:59 pm

    Wow. Elden, I’m sure Paul knows that this is the best “obituary” he is going to have. Simply wonderful.

    From what you’ve written, it seems like he was not only strong, but wise, as well. He left this world having shared that. :-)

  8. Comment by Anne Isom | 03.25.2009 | 10:04 pm

    Your mother gave me some sage advice once upon a time. I’m sorry to hear that her equally wise companion is gone. Give her my condolences.

  9. Comment by Aaron | 03.25.2009 | 10:08 pm

    I’m sorry to heat that Elden. My condolences to your family.

  10. Comment by Janet | 03.25.2009 | 10:10 pm

    How blessed you were to have known him. What a wise man, indeed. My heart goes out to you and your family :-)

  11. Comment by erik | 03.25.2009 | 10:14 pm

    I know how you feel.

  12. Comment by Loren | 03.25.2009 | 10:26 pm

    Sorry for your loss.

  13. Comment by Corey Porter | 03.25.2009 | 10:53 pm

    “Get out on the bike and stay balanced” is good advice for all of us. Thanks for sharing, Elden, and thanks for the advice, Paul.

  14. Comment by Anonymous | 03.25.2009 | 11:04 pm

    Prayers for your entire family

  15. Comment by bobbieh | 03.25.2009 | 11:13 pm

    Hugs to you and your family…

  16. Comment by Barbara | 03.26.2009 | 12:12 am

    Paul sounds like a wonderful guy! Wonderful advice…

  17. Comment by cyclegoddess | 03.26.2009 | 3:01 am

    that heading ‘ win susan ‘made me cry. That is so beautiful!!

    Everyone take at look at ‘Chelation therapy’. This has a 90% success rate for things like:cancer, heart disease, etc. Good stuff!

  18. Trackback by Anonymous | 03.26.2009 | 3:42 am

    Mom Blogs – Blogs for Moms…

  19. Comment by aussie kev | 03.26.2009 | 4:27 am

    sue and i are thinking of the extended fatty clan


  20. Comment by Saso | 03.26.2009 | 4:28 am

    My condolences.

  21. Comment by Mike Roadie | 03.26.2009 | 4:34 am

    Ditto to all……..
    A touching post.
    Best to all of your family.

  22. Comment by pammap | 03.26.2009 | 4:43 am

    I’m sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your Mom. Paul sounds like one of the good guys.

  23. Comment by Anonymous | 03.26.2009 | 4:52 am

    Elden, I am so sorry for your loss. Praying that the memories of Paul will comfort your hearts.

  24. Comment by Sylvie | 03.26.2009 | 6:06 am

    Condolences from Canada.

  25. Comment by NoTrail | 03.26.2009 | 6:21 am

    My thoughts are with you and your family.

  26. Comment by Lowrydr | 03.26.2009 | 6:35 am

    So sorry to hear such sad news. Condolences from the MidWest. Sounds like he left some wisdom behind to remember him by.

  27. Comment by stefano | 03.26.2009 | 6:37 am

    Condolences to your mom and family. Cancer sucks. Win Susan!

  28. Comment by WheelDancer | 03.26.2009 | 7:03 am

    Very sorry to hear of your loss. I hope the joy of his memory soon replaces the sorrow of his passing.

    The world is a better place for having folks like Paul in it and better still that you can share his presence with us.

    I bid you peace.

  29. Comment by Carl & Kim | 03.26.2009 | 7:05 am

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

  30. Comment by Joe | 03.26.2009 | 7:10 am

    Peace and blessings to you and your family. You honor Paul by your own “toughness” and the way you care for your wife and family.

  31. Comment by Jenny-Jenny | 03.26.2009 | 7:10 am

    What a nice tribute. Sorry for your loss.

  32. Comment by Amy | 03.26.2009 | 7:20 am

    Sorry Fatty…

  33. Comment by km | 03.26.2009 | 7:33 am

    My condolences to both your family and your mother.

  34. Comment by Jouni | 03.26.2009 | 7:35 am

    My condolences, Elden.

  35. Comment by Linda | 03.26.2009 | 7:51 am

    My condolences. Paul sounded like a wonderful person to have had in your life.

    Stay balanced and get on the bike. What great advice. I should make that into a sign and paste it on the inside of my eyeglasses.

  36. Comment by Boz | 03.26.2009 | 7:52 am

    So sad when the great ones pass. My condolences to you and yours.

  37. Comment by Caren | 03.26.2009 | 8:33 am

    I hope knowing that all of Team Fatty is thinking of you and your family during this difficult time helps in some small way.

    Cancer is what we need to lose!

  38. Comment by Deedle | 03.26.2009 | 8:34 am

    My thoughts are with you and yours.

  39. Comment by kiwi | 03.26.2009 | 8:39 am

    Cancer kills people NOT LOVE!

  40. Comment by Don | 03.26.2009 | 8:45 am

    I am very sorry to hear that Fatty. My prayer go out to you and your family, as always!

  41. Comment by nosferaustin | 03.26.2009 | 9:08 am

    Condolences to your mom and family, Elden.

    “Get out on the bike and stay balanced.” Thanks for sharing Paul’s advise with all of us. You know, I very much needed to hear something like that today. A little reminder of the importance of finding a maintaining balance in everything we do. Thanks, Paul. And thanks, Fatty.

  42. Comment by bikemike | 03.26.2009 | 9:22 am

    God bless you, Fatty’s Mom.

  43. Comment by NW | 03.26.2009 | 9:30 am

    So sorry.

  44. Comment by Julian | 03.26.2009 | 9:39 am

    My condolences on your loss Fatty, his advice is well-rooted and we should all try to stay balanced in what we’re doing and remember the important things.

  45. Comment by Kathleen | 03.26.2009 | 10:02 am

    Big hug and condolences to your family for your loss. Very sad.

  46. Comment by Erik | 03.26.2009 | 10:39 am

    Thanks for the introduction to Paul, he sounds like a wonderful guy. I share Jodi’s religious ambivalence (well, OK, with me it’s pretty much antipathy) and love to see someone with his strong convictions who is comfortable enough in his beliefs to let others find their own way. Clearly that spirit lives on in your and yours.

    Oh, and he’s right about the riding, but you knew that already ;-)

  47. Comment by Michael P. | 03.26.2009 | 10:39 am

    Paul sounds like he lived his life well. Thought’s and prayers to your family.

  48. Comment by Chris | 03.26.2009 | 10:53 am

    Our condolences to you all. Sounds like Paul was a wonderful man.

    Our sincere sympathies,
    Chris & Chris Ross

  49. Comment by Mariah | 03.26.2009 | 11:26 am

    So sorry for the loss Fatty. Prayers are winging your way.

  50. Comment by Hamish A | 03.26.2009 | 11:45 am

    I’m so sorry to hear of Pauls passing Fatty. I wasn’t lucky enough to know him but he sounds like one of the wise old sorts that we should all be fortunate enough to have in our lives.

    Remember the good times and the great advice. Smile on your bike in his honour. Love to your Mom and all of you (as always).

    WIN Susan.

  51. Comment by Rob | 03.26.2009 | 12:07 pm

    Dear Elden and Family,

    I’m so very sorry to hear about Paul.
    My thoughts are with all of you.

    With Sympathy,

    Rob Jones

  52. Comment by El Animal | 03.26.2009 | 1:03 pm

    SOryy about that, a big hug to your Mom.

  53. Comment by Jeff | 03.26.2009 | 1:26 pm

    My condolences to you and your family Fatty. Stay Strong!

  54. Comment by Jose & Renee | 03.26.2009 | 1:47 pm

    We’re so very sorry. We’ll keep him and everyone who loved him in our thoughts and prayers.

  55. Comment by Charisa | 03.26.2009 | 3:03 pm

    So sorry. Cancer is evil! And he is right – keep riding your bike – it will help you in all things life throws at you!

  56. Comment by Penny | 03.26.2009 | 3:49 pm

    Each of us should remember that the life we live is a work of art. You need to live it in such a way to express that art to others. Sounds like he created a truly memorable work of Art.

    What a beautiful life.

  57. Comment by Kala | 03.26.2009 | 3:53 pm

    I’ll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers. It’s so hard to lose someone, but we have to be extremely grateful for the time we do get to spend with them, and you seem to have this attitude. Good for you :)

  58. Comment by Dustin | 03.26.2009 | 4:08 pm

    I’m very sorry to hear of your loss :(

  59. Comment by Erine | 03.26.2009 | 4:46 pm

    Fatty and family, we are so sorry to hear of your loss. Please know that you all are in our thoughts and prayers.

  60. Comment by Linda | 03.26.2009 | 5:05 pm

    I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  61. Comment by Nick | 03.26.2009 | 5:47 pm

    I’m very sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy. RIP

  62. Comment by ricky | 03.26.2009 | 9:06 pm

    sorry for your loss. our thoughts and prayers are always with you.

  63. Comment by BamaJim | 03.26.2009 | 9:42 pm

    Since condolences to your family. You continue in our prayers.

  64. Comment by Mike from Melbourne | 03.27.2009 | 12:32 am

    All the best to you and the rest of the family. Sorry for your loss.

  65. Comment by Powerful Pete from Rome | 03.27.2009 | 1:05 am

    Condolences. Or as we say here, condoglianze.

    Fatty, we began to follow your blog for your comedic talent. Now my father is a cancer survivor, and I read your posts in a very different light.

    All the best to you and your loved ones in this difficult moment.

  66. Comment by buckythedonkey | 03.27.2009 | 3:32 am

    From Jodi’s post, he sounds like a very good man. My sincere condolences.

  67. Comment by Bluenoser | 03.27.2009 | 3:39 am

    Wise words from a tough guy. My condolences to your family.


  68. Comment by Marianne | 03.27.2009 | 8:47 am

    Keeping you and your family in our thoughts, our sincere condolences.

  69. Comment by Hilslug | 03.27.2009 | 9:06 am

    My condolences to you and your family, Fatty.

  70. Comment by Tarah | 03.27.2009 | 11:22 am

    I’m so sorry for your family’s loss. Thank you for sharing your life here. You are truly touching others with your laughter and your confirmation of our shared humanity.

  71. Comment by John the Lawyer | 03.28.2009 | 6:33 pm

    Thank you for sharing a glimpse of someone special. My thoughts and prayers to you and your family.


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