Fight Cancer, Meet Bike Snob NYC

04.15.2009 | 12:11 am

200904142308.jpgIt occurs to me that before long, people are going to stop answering when I call. Why? I call people I have only met online or on the phone and ask them to do strange things in the name of helping Team Fatty fighting cancer.

One of these people whom I have never actually met in person — and I am given to understand that nobody else has either, for he wears a mask and a flowing velvet cape that conceals his appearance — is Bike Snob NYC, who is best described as my evil, more famous blog twin.

Anyways, not really knowing BSNYC at all, I asked a large favor of him.

“I know you value your privacy,” I said. “So how about we run a contest where the winner gets to come over and totally violate that privacy. You know, hang out with you for a couple hours. Ride bikes with you. Stand too close to you and ask you personal questions you don’t want to answer.”

“Wouldn’t that be awesome?” I concluded.

Not knowing that getting people to do stuff they don’t want to do is my very most formidable superpower, BSNYC agreed.

And so, beginning right this moment, you can enter the contest to fly out to NYC and meet, talk with, make lots and lots of blog entry suggestions to, and otherwise hang out with Bike Snob NYC.

What You Get

So what fabulous prizes do you get with this contest? Read on.

First and foremost, you get to meet BSNYC. In person and for real. No hijinx or anything. You’ll actually get to see what he looks like. Once you’ve met him, he gets to decide what you do next. Maybe you’ll go on a bike ride. Maybe you’ll go for lots of subway rides. Maybe he’ll spontaneously embrace you. Maybe he’ll hit you with a cudgel and take your money. As you know, New Yorkers are as volatile as they are unpredictable. I recommend bringing both chocolate and pepper spray. It’s best to be prepared.

Second and Secondmost, you get a ticket to NY and back, with US Air. Yep, the Co-Captain of the Philly Team Fatty — Jen Yuan — has arranged for a plane ticket with US Air for any day this year. Of course, this means you have to get yourself to an airport that US Air or one of its affiliates services. So you BSNYC fans in Sri Lanka may be out of luck.

200904142335.jpgThird and Thirdmost, you get a Bike Snob Seal of Disapproval t-shirt, lovingly (?) hand-delivered by BSNYC himself. It may be in your size. It may not. Do not ask if you can exchange it. As you can see here, Lance got one that is three sizes too large, and he didn’t ask for a different size. He’s wearing / swimming in it, and is happy about it.

Finally and Lastmost: In addition to the grand prize of a plane ticket and meeting BSNYC, there will be 4 second-prize t-shirts given away to random winners. I have one of these and I never wear anything else. But in all honesty, that has more to do with my proclivity to always wear a given clothing item exclusively until catastrophic failure. But hey, this isn’t about me. It’s about the hard-to-find, can’t-be-bought t-shirt you’re going to parade in front of your friends.

What You Don’t Get

Please note carefully that this is not an all-expenses-paid vacation. It is, frankly, much closer to a plane-ticket-and-nothing-else vacation. Meaning you’re on your own for hotel. And food. And cab fare.

And everything else, actually.

And don’t you go expecting BSNYC to foot the bill. In fact, maybe you should consider buying him lunch. Would it kill you, just once, to offer to buy?

How to Enter

To get a chance at being randomly chosen to get to meet BSNYC, donate $5.00 to the Lance Armstrong Foundation over at Jen Yuan’s LiveStrong Challenge page ( If you donate more — in multiples of $5 — you get more chances in the drawing.

Yes, all the money in this contest goes directly to the Lance Armstrong Foundation, to help them fight cancer. It’s that easy. Besides, we cannot be trusted with money.

This contest is open starting right now and will run through next Wednesday, April 22. The winner will be announced on Thursday, April 23.

General Rules and Restrictions

Here are some rules you must obey, so keep them in mind just in case you win this contest.

  • Timing: You need to do this on a day that works for BSNYC. He travels (to exotic and wonderful places you couldn’t even possibly imagine) frequently, so the two of you will need to work together to figure out a date that works for the two of you.
  • Be cool: Seriously, BSNYC wants to keep private, which I don’t understand at all but am trying to respect anyways. So: no photos of him, no smothering, and no poking. And keep what you learn about him to yourself.
  • Flight Restrictions: Here’s what you need to know about the ticket:

    1. Even though there are no blackout dates, there must be “X”-class seats available on a given flight in order for someone to use the voucher (kind of like frequent flier miles). As the voucher says, “Seats are limited and may not be available on every flight.”
    2. Also, the flight only needs to be *ticketed* by Dec 23, 2009. Travel can take place all the way up through late November 2010. Flights can be ticketed a maximum of 340 days in advance.
    3. The voucher can be used for “open jaw” flights — fly into one city (say, NYC to meet Bike Snob) and out of another (say, Philly after cheering people at the Livestrong ride).
    4. If the flight someone wants does not have an available “X” class seat, the voucher is good for $200 towards the total fare.
    5. Good on US Airways, US Express, America West Airways, America West Express.

Frankly, that’s a lot less draconian than it could have been. Although the term “open jaw flights” scares me very much.

But What If I Already Live on the East coast, the Way 90% of Americans Do?

Well, then you can go visit Bike Snob and then use the plane ticket to go somewhere else. See, this ticket is actually a round-trip ticket to anywhere in the US that US Air and its affiliates service.

So, for example, you could go hang out with BSNYC for a couple hours, then fly over to Salt Lake City, and I’d take you on a ride. Road or mountain, your choice. I’ll take care of getting a bike for you. And then I’ll grill brats or burgers, your choice.

Seriously, I’m throwing that in the ring. Which may or may not be an enhancement to the contest. You’ll have to decide.

As it often happens, I wish I were eligible to enter this contest — from his blog and the several email conversations I’ve had with him, I can tell BSNYC is a very smart, funny, and good guy.

Good luck in this contest; I’m sure you’ll win.


  1. Comment by Philly Jen | 04.15.2009 | 12:27 am

    Open jaw flights are perfect for Velveeta Fudge. Mmmmm.

  2. Comment by buckythedonkey | 04.15.2009 | 2:02 am

    The T-shirt. That’s the big ticket item here. Awesome prize.

  3. Comment by Flatoutjim | 04.15.2009 | 3:33 am

    SRI Lanks, or Newfoundland, sounds like I am SOL.

    But you could still win the t-shirt. – FC

  4. Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.15.2009 | 4:26 am

    What’s a Bike Snob NYC????

  5. Comment by Lizzylou | 04.15.2009 | 4:30 am

    And what if we live within driving distance of the city? I hate for that ticket to go to waste, but it would be easier for me to just hop a bus to the city… if I win.

    You can then use the ticket to go somewhere else. Like come over here. I’ll grill burgers and everything. (Post now edited to reflect the “what if I already live on the East Coast” question). – FC

  6. Comment by Jamieson | 04.15.2009 | 4:58 am

    US Air does not fly between JFK and LaGuardia here in New York. I guess that I will have to ride the bike to Williamsburg.

    This could be great comedy.

  7. Comment by rz | 04.15.2009 | 5:50 am

    Ditto for me on what lizzylou and Jamison said, although I’d take the train. And ditto as well for what buckythedonkey said. The t-shirt really is the best prize

  8. Comment by Jenni Laurita | 04.15.2009 | 7:15 am

    I’ll ride with you.

  9. Comment by bnate | 04.15.2009 | 7:24 am

    Who the heck is bsnyc?

    That’s something you’ll have to win the contest to find out. And then you can’t tell anyone, ever, for the rest of your life. It’ll be like having heat vision, but not being able to use it in public. What an wonderful, terrible secret.

    Also, I edited your original comment, in keeping with my “No language I won’t let my kids use” policy. Thanks for remembering that going forward. – FC

  10. Comment by WheelDancer | 04.15.2009 | 7:27 am

    Awesome idea to sic the Bike Snob on the pie plate of cancer!

  11. Comment by Skitchmacboy | 04.15.2009 | 8:00 am

    OH. MY. GOD.


    Fatty, I’m a broke-as-broke college student, but I’ll enter this. Besides, the LAF has done wonders for my Grandfather, who has advanced kidney cancer.

    Keep fighting, Fatty, and WIN SUSAN!

  12. Comment by BotchedExperiment | 04.15.2009 | 8:17 am

    If he were a good person, he wouldn’t live in NYC; if I win, I’m only bringing enough cash to buy him a hot dog. You can’t be too careful.

  13. Comment by NW Bicyclist | 04.15.2009 | 8:38 am

    Wow! This is a great contest!

    I have to say though, you were definitely going for the “nagging mother” persona. You sounded like when my mom tells me to be polite when going to stay with my grandparents. (foot the bill for lunch, be respectful, bring chocolates…)!

    LOL j/k

  14. Comment by Robert | 04.15.2009 | 8:40 am

    I’m not entering unless a Rapha smock is on the table.

  15. Comment by bikemike | 04.15.2009 | 8:58 am

    if there were 15 places on a podium, i would so be there.
    money coming but i hope i don’t win…i’m scared of bsnyc. i’m thinking it’s the no soup for you guy (or a close relative), hence, lance not getting a shirt that fits.

  16. Comment by ac | 04.15.2009 | 9:25 am

    im afraid bikesnobnyc will be a 14-year old boy living in his mom’s basement in peoria.

    do you guys (“bloggers”) have like some secret blogger rolodex?

    Yes. And a secret handshake. – FC

  17. Comment by BikeSnobNYC | 04.15.2009 | 10:27 am


    That could be arranged.


  18. Comment by Hat | 04.15.2009 | 10:33 am

    Could we have a 3-way prank call to Bicycling magazine, with Fatty involved?

  19. Comment by Chuck | 04.15.2009 | 10:55 am

    Meet BSNYC? Meh. Now if you had a contest to meet Styleman, then you’d be talking.

  20. Comment by mikeb | 04.15.2009 | 11:34 am

    Fatty, You have had some great promotions, many of which I have contributed to, but this one…yawn.

  21. Comment by Kathleen | 04.15.2009 | 11:40 am

    Most excellent contest idea! Thanks BSNYC for playing!

  22. Comment by Johnny Sprocket | 04.15.2009 | 11:54 am

    US Air?!.. never heard of them. They sound like one of those tiny, Asian airlines that frequently fall short of runways.

  23. Comment by Paul | 04.15.2009 | 12:14 pm

    Entered this for sure.
    It’s for a good cause regardless, and if I win, good times will be had.

  24. Comment by GenghisKhan | 04.15.2009 | 12:15 pm

    A chance to meet ye olde famous BS NYC is quite a draw, but what about meeting your own local Bike Snob SLC? C’mon, let’s see whatcha got, Fatty! ;o)

  25. Comment by Gary Kavanagh | 04.15.2009 | 12:33 pm

    I made my first contribution to the LiveStrong Foundation today. Who doesn’t want to meet the allusive personality behind BSNYC, and it’s all for a great cause.

  26. Comment by Big Boned | 04.15.2009 | 1:00 pm

    If I win, will he sign my top tube pad?

  27. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.15.2009 | 1:18 pm

    Botched – i don’t think hot dogs are being as careful as you think they are.

  28. Comment by red neckerson | 04.15.2009 | 1:29 pm

    i spent 3 days of beer money and donated so maybe me and jolene can meet bike snob on our honymoon

  29. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.15.2009 | 1:59 pm

    When BSNYC described the Bloggies as: “I’m not sure what a “Bloggie” is but I think it’s the Canadian term for “snot rocket”“, I blew a gasket trying to avoid blowing coffee.

    So, in spite of the fact that it meant contributing to Team Fatty – Philly, putting the hurt on my competitive juices as a Team Fatty – Seattle cheerleader, I donated.

    You should, too.

    And then, you should join Team Fatty – Seattle, and donate to your fund, and ask all of your friends to donate to your total, and ask some of them to join the team, and, and…

    Next contest will be to benefit the Seattle team, I promise. In fact, I’ve already got something in mind. – FC

  30. Comment by Yogisurf | 04.15.2009 | 2:00 pm

    In. One of my co-workers has the big C. He’s fighting it. I bought 10 yellow Livestrong bracelets and handed them out. We are united for him to win the battle.

    I want the Seal T-shirt. However if I win the grand prize I’d definitely want to ride the bike lanes of NYC and dodge the runners and dog walkers. Can we go do a loop along the Great Hipster Silk Route? I’d consider bringing my bike…”the World 2nd Greatest Madone” (only has one mirror). I’m glad Snobby’s Dark Corporate Overlords have not worked him to death…he still has enough time to ride.

  31. Comment by bnate | 04.15.2009 | 2:20 pm

    Thank you for editing me. Big thanks. On your bald head.

    Happy to oblige. – FC

  32. Comment by AYbnateSMB | 04.15.2009 | 2:37 pm

    Relax, bnate. His blog his rules, brother.

  33. Comment by graisseux | 04.15.2009 | 2:38 pm

    bnate – So, you’re entering the contest, right?

  34. Comment by bikemike | 04.15.2009 | 2:48 pm

    don’t bnate for dinner.

  35. Comment by Wade | 04.15.2009 | 4:41 pm

    I’ll donate $5, in fact I’ll donate $50. Not sure I need to meet BSNYC though. Love his blog, but his “mystique” is probably best kept the way it is. I’d rather hang with you for an afternoon Fatty.

    If that’s your preference, we can do it that way. There wouldn’t be much in the way of mystery-finding with me, but I grill awesome brats and have incredible trails and roads nearby. – FC

  36. Comment by justrun | 04.15.2009 | 6:49 pm

    GREAT idea, Fatty! I’m making everyone I know enter, seriously. It’s a really good reason to donate lots of cash and get in on a secret. Who doesn’t like that?

  37. Comment by Rantwick | 04.15.2009 | 8:18 pm

    Fatty and the Snob, working together to fight cancer. Who woulda thunk it? Good on ya both. By the way “Fatty and the Snob” has a kind of nice ring to it, like “Chico and the Man”…

    Believe it or not, I once proposed to BSNYC that he and I merge our sites into a Cycling Comedy megasite by that very name. He declined. Wisely. – FC

  38. Comment by Erin | 04.15.2009 | 8:24 pm

    Are you allowed to enter if you own a fixie?

    How about if you own a fixie that doesn’t have neon-colored aero wheels?

  39. Comment by Dobovedo | 04.15.2009 | 9:04 pm

    that might be the funniest not-intentionally funny post ever.

    i have a fixie. waiting on a judges ruling to previous comment. oh.. and it has fenders too so I’m urban trendy and a totally untrendy nerdgeekdork at the same time

  40. Comment by Liberty on Bikes!/bob | 04.15.2009 | 9:46 pm

    i was thinking that snob would ride the philly event.
    that somewhere mixed in with all that poor fitting
    spandex, there was snob, rolling along with us.
    it could be the guy next to me, or just ahead.
    but somewhere, he was there, so technically i rode with him.
    now, i realise that would just be TOO MUCH pain.
    he might not be able to contain himself,
    and start verbally lashing out with idiot savant bursts of critiques,
    and then painfully, it would be known,
    the identity snob.

    oh well, i’ll still be there.

  41. Comment by Di | 04.15.2009 | 10:08 pm

    I’d much rather fly to Utah, mountain bike with you, and follow that up with brats and beer. Mountain biking…. :-D

    The ticket is an anywhere-to-anywhere voucher, so if you won and wanted brats and a tour of the finest MTB trails UT County has to offer, I’d be more than happy to host. I think I could even arrange to have a very nice MTB waiting for you. – FC

  42. Comment by DBR | 04.16.2009 | 12:02 am

    Coolest contest ever Fatty! I’m a Bikesnobnyc reader from Salt Lake City, haven’t read your blog much before but now I will… If I win I’ll come back and give you all the goods on Bikesnob on debriefing SS MTB ride!

  43. Comment by Born 4Lycra | 04.16.2009 | 1:04 am

    Hey wait a minute – I can’t use my heat vision in public?? Where does it say that in the manual?

  44. Comment by buckythedonkey | 04.16.2009 | 2:40 am

    Fatty, is there somewhere where we can see an up to date Team Fatty donations total? How’s the campaign going?

  45. Comment by Jamieson | 04.16.2009 | 6:38 am

    Jen Yuan has raised a heck of a lot of money in the first day.

  46. Comment by MOCougFan | 04.16.2009 | 7:24 am

    Cool idea FC. Obviously I’ve never met BS, and frankly his mystique is quite scary. Would be cool to meet him tho. Awesome of him to play along.

    You on the other hand are very cool. I’ve ridden with you, been to your house, etc. Next contest you could focus on yourself. You’d be a huge draw. Plus the trails around God’s country are incredible.

    Thanks, MOCougFan. But the thing is, no contest is necessary to ride with me — just show up at my house and we’ll go on a ride. Maybe I could do a contest where the winner gets a weekend w/ the core team at Brad’s Gooseberry yurt. – FC

  47. Comment by HellcatOnWheels | 04.16.2009 | 9:05 am

    hmmmm… I can hear my mother now when I tell her that I have a chance to go to NY(a scary place in and of itself for us southerners) to meet a cloaked man that has an exorbitant amount of time to blog, doesn’t seem to hold a day job, may or may not have any family, wishes his identity to remain secret and that I’ll return home, unscathed, limbs intact… yeah that’s going to fly! :) Great idea though…should be a fun contest!

  48. Comment by rz | 04.16.2009 | 11:17 am

    Best line of jen’s page:

    C’mon, you want this like a hipster knuckle wants a tattoo.

  49. Pingback by Cycling For Cancer · Win a chance to meet the Bike Snob and Fight Cancer … | 04.16.2009 | 11:46 am

    [...] Full contest details can be found on The Fat Cyclist website. [...]

  50. Comment by Jodi | 04.16.2009 | 8:37 pm


    So where’s the freaking contest to meet me? I’m an enigma wrapped in a mystery. And I have a blog. And BSNY – he responded to some emails I sent him so we’re practically BFF. I am in NYC too so c’mon! Certainly folks want to hang out with my family? Right? Also, I once went on a date with Keifer Sutherland. True.

    And so. I want a contest. The end.

  51. Comment by Jamieson | 04.17.2009 | 5:44 am

    Jodi – I’ll enter if it means lunch at the Gowanus Yacht Club.

  52. Comment by Jodi | 04.17.2009 | 11:40 am

    Hey! That’s just opening for the season TODAY! I would buy you your choice of any hot dog on the grill if you win my contest-that-does-not-exist. Maybe two. And your choice of anything from the candy isle from the Rite Aid across the street.

    But then again – I may enter the contest just to make BSNY a little nervous. That’d be awful for him to have someone win who lives near him, and I think I do. I could just drop by all the time, ask him what he thinks of things, if the pants make me look fat, force him to comment on the cuteness of my kid. His goodwill towards my brother could wane, though. So I’d better not.

    Nice call on the GYC. Very good stuff.

  53. Comment by Jamieson | 04.17.2009 | 1:40 pm

    Jodi –

    It’s a long harrowing journey from Court and Nelson.

  54. Comment by AnnaZed | 04.17.2009 | 5:15 pm

    Hey, looking great for your goal. The confirmation that I got said that my contribution was “credited to Jen Yuan”; so, I don’t know how that happened. I hope that it goes to your goal.

    Ride Safe and Have Fun

  55. Pingback by BSNYC Fidray Fun Quiz! | New York Real Estate | 04.18.2009 | 2:51 am

    [...] I mentioned on Wednesday, cycling blogger and fat cyclist Fat Cyclist has some contest going where you not only get free airfaire to New York City, but you also have the option of meeting me. [...]

  56. Comment by arvin mallari | 04.19.2009 | 11:18 pm

    i used to weigh 350 lbs before, and now after two months im just 280lbs..tnx to the tips i found in…im not trying to advertise here, i just want other people to see for themselves and try the tips…lets see how much will weigh in 3 mos after trying it….

  57. Comment by Zach | 04.21.2009 | 10:23 pm

    Now this sounds even better, if I win this is exactly what I’m doing. I’ll get to NYC on my own (I’m in Boston) and then out to SLC…mmm brats…I’ll even bring my own bike.

    “So, for example, you could go hang out with BSNYC for a couple hours, then fly over to Salt Lake City, and I’d take you on a ride. Road or mountain, your choice. I’ll take care of getting a bike for you. And then I’ll grill brats or burgers, your choice.”

  58. Comment by Sprocketboy | 04.22.2009 | 12:09 pm

    This very cool. Although I live in Faraway Canada, I could fly on USAir affiliates Air Wisconsin and Piedmont Airlines (with a stopover in Beautiful Philadelphia!), to meet the BikeSnob. This is like one of those wishes you would ask for from a genie! Having read Mr. Snob’s blog for some time, I am sure he can put together an interesting and exciting itinerary. I am most curious to know if he has been licking any carbon bottle cages recently.

  59. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » How to Name a Bike Trail | 04.22.2009 | 1:14 pm

    [...] details here, or go donate here. I’ll announce the winners [...]

  60. Pingback by The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle on Earth Day: Guilt Complex, Complex Guilt | New York Real Estate | 04.23.2009 | 6:21 am

    [...] Speaking of guilt, Fatty’s contest is ending today and they’re a hemp fiber strand’s width from their goal, so if you [...]

  61. Pingback by This Just In: BSNYC Used As Bait! « fixie blog | 05.10.2009 | 2:59 am

    [...] term for “snot rocket”), you probably know by now that he’s just announced a contest wherein the winner will travel to New York City and meet me. If you’re not a reader of the Fat Cyclist blog, it’s a comedy cycling blog written by [...]

  62. Pingback by The Indignity of Commuting by Bicycle on Earth Day: Guilt Complex, Complex Guilt « fixie blog | 05.10.2009 | 3:00 am

    [...] Speaking of guilt, Fatty’s contest is ending today and they’re a hemp fiber strand’s width from their goal, so if you [...]

  63. Pingback by BSNYC Ride Report: Slippery When Hairy | New York Real Estate | 06.2.2009 | 2:18 am

    [...] you may recall, awhile back the ironically-named author of the Fat Cyclist blog, Fat Cyclist, raffled off an opportunity to travel to New York City to meet me, and this past Saturday that meeting in fact took place. Of course, the real fruit on the bottom of [...]


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.