July 21 Update on Susan

07.20.2009 | 11:15 am

I know I said I was going to take a week off, but I also know that a lot of you care a lot about Susan and how she’s doing. And besides, sometimes it’s helpful for me to write things down, to help me make sense of and remember them.

The very short version is: Susan is in incredible pain, and I’m scrambling to block it as best as I can.

The longer version is that on Thursday, Susan had to hold perfectly still in order to not feel like she was being stabbed with a knife.

I asked the doctor to come over (side note: the doctor just bought a Gary Fisher Rig, so we both have to make a conscious effort to not talk about mountain biking whenever he’s here). The doctor outlined our options as basically being to start steroids, as well as increase pain medication either through pills or through an IV.

Susan didn’t want to go near the steroids, in spite of the pain — I’m afraid both of us have such bad memories of her last encounter with steroids that even when desperate, we’d rather try just about anything else.

I wanted to go with the morphine pump, because it’s the more aggressive option and delivers pain medication constantly and directly, and I just didn’t see pills as being able to help that well.

Susan, on the other hand, didn’t like the idea of yet another tube being permanently attached. Plus, going to a morphine pump feels like you’re crossing a line.

So we went with extended release morphine pills, with immediate release morphine to supplement for breakthrough pain. No more Lortab — that’s too weak of sauce (and the pills are too big and hard to swallow) for Susan now.

And she’s taking five times as much as she used to be.

But it’s not enough. She’s still hurting, bad.

So I just called the hospice people and said how things have been going, and told them I wanted to revisit the morphine pump idea. I just can’t have Susan hurt this much. Even if it makes her sleep 16 hours a day, I can’t have her hurt so bad.

I hate cancer so much.

173 Comments

  1. Comment by BellaCroix | 07.20.2009 | 11:18 am

    Thoughts and prayers to your whole family.

    Wish there was more I could say or do. Words just don’t seem enough.

  2. Comment by Blinddrew | 07.20.2009 | 11:28 am

    There just aren’t the words to say how much we feel for Susan and the rest of you right now. I just hope you get whatever breaks you can.

  3. Comment by Philly Jen | 07.20.2009 | 11:31 am

    I am so, so sorry that Susan has to go through this.

    We’re with you.

    FIGHT LIKE SUSAN

  4. Comment by run-girl-run | 07.20.2009 | 11:32 am

    I hate cancer for you! (tears streaming)
    WIN * FIGHT * LOVE

  5. Comment by Bo | 07.20.2009 | 11:32 am

    Thoughts and prayers to you, Susan, and the kids.

  6. Comment by Lisa B in Seattle | 07.20.2009 | 11:33 am

    But maybe sleeping 16 hours makes the six hours she’s awake more tolerable? I know, weak reasoning, but I can’t imagine how it must be for you to watch the woman you love be in such agony and not be able to fix it. My heart goes out to you both.

  7. Comment by EdL | 07.20.2009 | 11:34 am

    My sincere thoughts and best wishes to you both.
    Know that many are with you.

    WIN

  8. Comment by Dana | 07.20.2009 | 11:39 am

    i hate cancer too.

    stay strong.

  9. Comment by leeb | 07.20.2009 | 11:39 am

    I’ll pray and pray for you both. I know everyone says that will, but I promise, I’ll pray and pray.

  10. Comment by m00se | 07.20.2009 | 11:39 am

    Man, this is heart-wrenching. I seriously wish the best for your family, and I know we all pray for better days in the future for Susan.

    FIGHT, OVERCOME, WIN

  11. Comment by Hamish A | 07.20.2009 | 11:40 am

    Love & positive thoughts heading your way. I wish there was something I could do for you all.

    Please let Susan know we’re pulling for her and hope the Medical types can come up with something that works quickly.

    Keep strong Fatty.

    WIN

  12. Comment by Neil | 07.20.2009 | 11:41 am

    @Lisa B. What about the other 2 hours? 16 + 6 = 22, not 24. And if there is one thing I know it is there are twenty four hours in a day; thank you Kiefer Sutherland. :)

    @Susan & Fatty – My thoughts and prayers are with you.

    WIN!

  13. Comment by Woody | 07.20.2009 | 11:45 am

    My heart breaks…..

  14. Comment by Wes | 07.20.2009 | 11:49 am

    My heart is in such pain for you guys, Fatty… Stay strong…

  15. Comment by Frank & Mer | 07.20.2009 | 11:50 am

    We wish we could do something to take the pain away… WIN SUSAN

  16. Comment by MOCougFan | 07.20.2009 | 11:53 am

    Sorry brother. I feel for you and your family.

    I really don’t know if it’s possible, but I used to sedate people when I removed their teeth (dentist). I would give Versed. It made them comfortable, sleepy, and would forget the pain. I really don’t know if it is even possible for you to administer this or not when she is in super pain. I’ll try to look into it for you.

    Chad

  17. Comment by josh | 07.20.2009 | 11:54 am

    Fatty,

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Just know you’re an inspiration to all of us.

    WIN SUSAN

  18. Comment by DOM | 07.20.2009 | 11:58 am

    For what it’s worth, you are going about the pain control regimen in proper order. Susan’s desire to avoid the IV is understandable and the morphine tabs are a reasonable solution. When that’s insufficient, your desire to revisit the IV is absolutely appropriate.

    I know you feel helpless now but I want you to know that what you are doing is right.

  19. Comment by NW | 07.20.2009 | 12:01 pm

    Fight it.

    Win Susan!

  20. Comment by Sandy | 07.20.2009 | 12:03 pm

    My thoughts are with you guys. I hope that whatever treatment that you and Susan decide to go with is the one that helps the best.

    Would Susan consider subcutaneous shots of morphine as breakthrough? The onset would be faster, and it wouldn’t be a pump.

    Chad: We do use versed in palliative care, usually in small doses to help end-of-life breathing distress. I’m not an RN though so I’m not sure if it is used as actual pain control.

  21. Comment by Carl | 07.20.2009 | 12:04 pm

    Let’s all hope and pray that this year’s LIVESTRONG challenges brings in the money needed so that nobody else as to learn to “FIGHT LIKE SUSAN”.

  22. Comment by abbie | 07.20.2009 | 12:06 pm

    Thinking of you both and hoping for something to ease Susan’s pain.

    xoxo
    WIN SUSAN

  23. Comment by MrsEAM | 07.20.2009 | 12:13 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are with you, Susan, and the rest of your family. I wish you both peace and confidence in making these difficult decisions.

  24. Comment by Sandy | 07.20.2009 | 12:15 pm

    Not even remotely FAIR, to have to fight this and be in such pain. I pray for the pain to ease for Susan.

  25. Comment by db | 07.20.2009 | 12:21 pm

    Peace and strength to Susan, you, and your family.

  26. Comment by Big Mel | 07.20.2009 | 12:22 pm

    Cancer Sucks!

    Keep up the good fight. I am praying for your family.
    God bless you as you are a blessing to others even in this terrible time.

  27. Comment by si giant | 07.20.2009 | 12:24 pm

    My thoughts with you both.

  28. Comment by KanyonKris | 07.20.2009 | 12:24 pm

    This sounds eerily familiar. A close friend struggled with pain management as his father’s cancer got worse. Choosing the lesser of two evils is difficult.

  29. Comment by Leigh | 07.20.2009 | 12:26 pm

    Praying for your family daily…

  30. Comment by Onan the Barbarian | 07.20.2009 | 12:32 pm

    Our thoughts are with you.

  31. Comment by Boomer | 07.20.2009 | 12:34 pm

    Prayers and thoughts for you both.

  32. Comment by Ryan | 07.20.2009 | 12:35 pm

    Words fail. Saying “I’ll pray for you” feels trite. But I will.

    Stay strong, you two!

  33. Comment by Carrie | 07.20.2009 | 12:35 pm

    I hate cancer!
    There doesn’t seem to be an adequate thing to say right now. The best I can do is say that I will pray for your family, and I am truly sorry for what you are enduring.

  34. Comment by fatkatonabike | 07.20.2009 | 12:39 pm

    My heart breaks for you both. I hate cancer with you.

  35. Comment by Mat | 07.20.2009 | 12:43 pm

    WIN!

    My prayers are with your family.

  36. Comment by Big Shorty | 07.20.2009 | 12:44 pm

    Pedal & pray….

    I thought of Susan while doing my one race a year, even during hellacious weather those thoughts helped me shave 45 (yeah) minutes off last years time.

    I don’t fight like a girl, I try to fight like SUSAN!!

  37. Comment by Jason | 07.20.2009 | 12:45 pm

    Fatty:

    My heart is going out to you. You are such an awesome example of what a husband should be.

    Keep on Keepin’ on

  38. Comment by midwestmom | 07.20.2009 | 12:47 pm

    I hate cancer too!
    My heart is breaking for you, your wife, family and your children.
    Win Susan

  39. Comment by Colin | 07.20.2009 | 12:49 pm

    Get the pump it will make the time better for everybody. I’m sorry that anybody has to go through this. Life is not fair, it can suck alot. But You have a great family and bunch of internet friends who would do anything for You.

    Godspeed

    Colin Maydahl

  40. Comment by kawika | 07.20.2009 | 12:50 pm

    i’m so sorry. my prayers go out to your family. you definitely should trust your instincts regarding the morphine pca (pump). that’s the way to go.

  41. Comment by Paul | 07.20.2009 | 12:55 pm

    I hate cancer with every fiber of my being.

    I am sorry Fatty. I hope that you can get her comfortable and out of the pain soon.

    WIN Susan!!!

  42. Comment by Jeff L. | 07.20.2009 | 12:58 pm

    F@#k cancer! I am so pissed off that you and Susan have to go through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you guys.

  43. Comment by Melody | 07.20.2009 | 12:59 pm

    I’ve been debating leaving my unit at the hospital and going full time to starting the hospice unit. You just cemented it for me. I feel so protective of patients and their families and their getting the right support. I hate that you, Susan and the kids are having to go through this. My thoughts are with you guys

  44. Comment by Fred | 07.20.2009 | 1:00 pm

    Elden,

    My thoughts and prayers are with Susan and you. This weekend I rode in the Midland, TX “Cactus & Crude” MS150. On the 2nd day, I wore my pink Team Fatty cycling jersey in Susan’s honor. I know it is a different disease, but I felt it appropriate as both cancer and MS are such terrible diseases where more research fund raising is needed.

  45. Comment by mhb | 07.20.2009 | 1:01 pm

    You didn’t have to share this, and I’m sure it was hard to write… so thank you for the update.

    I hate cancer, too. A lot.

    Joining all these other readers across the country who are praying for Susan, you, and your kids.

    WIN.

  46. Comment by S | 07.20.2009 | 1:02 pm

    Praying for you and your family.

  47. Comment by VT Telegirl | 07.20.2009 | 1:08 pm

    May you find

    Strength.
    Courage.
    Hope.
    and Peace.

    WIN SUSAN!

  48. Comment by Chris | 07.20.2009 | 1:09 pm

    I hate cancer too.

    Keep fighting, will be praying for you guys.

  49. Comment by Jaime O. | 07.20.2009 | 1:09 pm

    Prayers for you all to have the wisdom to choose the right solution.

  50. Comment by FliesOnly | 07.20.2009 | 1:12 pm

    I feel for you Fatty. Do whatever you can to help Susan. We’re all here with you, doing whatever it is we can do.

  51. Comment by Lisa | 07.20.2009 | 1:14 pm

    Fatty – I hate cancer too. My prayers are with you and Susan and the family. Keep up the fight. You will win the race.

  52. Comment by Lisa | 07.20.2009 | 1:16 pm

    Thank you for keeping us updated in your difficult time.

  53. Comment by Diane | 07.20.2009 | 1:19 pm

    A morphine pump was a blessing to my older brother when his pain was intolerable. He fought peritoneal cancer for 3 years & his courage was phenomenal. The memories come flooding back & I cry when I read about Susan’s ordeal. Livestrong — my brother did.
    You are in my prayers.

  54. Comment by eandjmum | 07.20.2009 | 1:27 pm

    Kia kaha (be strong) – you are being strong fatty… love her like you’re doing… go Susan… you are both in my thoughts
    xxxxx

  55. Comment by Lisa | 07.20.2009 | 1:34 pm

    We hate cancer with you. We send you strength during this unimagineable struggle. Peace.

  56. Comment by Kel | 07.20.2009 | 1:38 pm

    Oh my gosh. Prayers are being sent from all over the world.

    I have experienced the pump. It helped me keep it together during a very difficult time. My husband, who is in a life-saving profession, could not stand to see me in pain either. The morophine pump helped me be as much of a mom and wife as possible, when I was awake.

    Peace to all of you.

  57. Comment by bobbieh | 07.20.2009 | 1:38 pm

    This just breaks my heart ~ as a nurse, I hate seeing people in pain.
    Know my heart and thoughts are with you ~
    Fight like Susan!

  58. Comment by Shellyg8r | 07.20.2009 | 1:45 pm

    Prayers for all….

  59. Comment by CJ :) | 07.20.2009 | 1:54 pm

    Thinking of you…

  60. Comment by Annie | 07.20.2009 | 1:54 pm

    I don’t know what to write because everyone else has already said anything, but I wanted to chime in to let you know how many people care and are praying for your family. My almost three-year-old loves to pray for people, and I’ll get her started on praying for the Nelson family tonight.

    May God be with you.

  61. Comment by Lizzy | 07.20.2009 | 1:59 pm

    Damn, just DAMN.

    I’m sorry, Fatty. And for what it’s worth, I hate cancer too.

    Livestrong, Susan.

  62. Comment by Jim B | 07.20.2009 | 2:03 pm

    Eldon, you know how your work allows people to donate their days off to you? Too bad the internet doesn’t have a way each of your readers could take 5 minutes of Susan’s pain (I don’t know if we could stand more than that).

    You already have strength and courage; here’s to hoping for some good fortune.

  63. Comment by Momx2 | 07.20.2009 | 2:15 pm

    Over from Woody-
    Prayers to you and your family!

    I hate cancer too!

  64. Comment by Wheels | 07.20.2009 | 2:22 pm

    Thanks for the update. So sorry the pain is intolerable for Susan, and her hurting so hard to watch for you and the family. I wish cancer would jump off a bridge. Praying for you daily.

  65. Comment by Canadian Roadie | 07.20.2009 | 2:22 pm

    My heart breaks for you and your family. The strength and dignity you have all shown through this ordeal is amazing. I keep you in my thoughts.

  66. Comment by Carly | 07.20.2009 | 2:24 pm

    My aunt is dealing with the same kind of pain-
    she’s on an infuser now that delivers meds continually as well as giving her the option to give more if needed (to a max of course). It seems to help a little.
    I hope you and Susan can find a solution so she is more comfortable.
    hang in there!

  67. Comment by sllym | 07.20.2009 | 2:39 pm

    You’re in our prayers.

  68. Comment by Leah Weiss Caruso | 07.20.2009 | 2:40 pm

    my thoughts and prayers are with you, susan and your kids (and your whole family). OY.

  69. Comment by Deedle | 07.20.2009 | 2:47 pm

    Hearts break. Words fail.

    Holding you and your loved ones in our thoughts and wishing you peace.

  70. Comment by nick | 07.20.2009 | 2:51 pm

    Damn it, I’m so sorry. Wishing you peace.

  71. Comment by Kerry | 07.20.2009 | 2:52 pm

    I am so sorry.

  72. Comment by MattC | 07.20.2009 | 2:58 pm

    Well said, all of you. Fatty, you (and Susan) are beyond inspirational. Seriously. Sure wish I could help (more-so than fundraising for Team Fatty/LAF). Words are so insignificant. Peace and strength to you and your family.

  73. Comment by run-girl-run | 07.20.2009 | 3:01 pm

    Jim B – Taking Susan’s pain for her is a beautiful thought. (you made me cry all over again)

  74. Comment by Mal | 07.20.2009 | 3:03 pm

    Peace and WIN

  75. Comment by Mindy | 07.20.2009 | 3:04 pm

    Praying to the God who heals!

  76. Comment by ann | 07.20.2009 | 3:13 pm

    Yes – to all of that. Prayer for peace in your household, and relief. And from those close enough to you, I pray that you are getting all the ‘hands and feet’ relief and support that you need.

  77. Comment by gregc | 07.20.2009 | 3:15 pm

    it may be just words, but its the best I can do.
    thinking of Susan and your family and sending you all the strength I can.
    Fight Susan

  78. Comment by Pat in Oak Ridge | 07.20.2009 | 3:19 pm

    Geez, Eldon and Susan, God bless you and your kids. I don’t know what to say. I really appreciate the update on Susan. One day soon, I know I will check your site and she will not be in pain any longer. And I will cry along with you and all your many blogging friends. Just keep doing what you’re doing. My father-in-law just died of lung cancer last week, only a week after his diagnosis. I was secretly glad he didn’t have to suffer.

  79. Comment by skippy | 07.20.2009 | 3:20 pm

    Keep your head up, we are praying for you and Susan. God bless you and your family.

  80. Comment by ursula | 07.20.2009 | 3:26 pm

    Delurking to say that I’m thinking of you and your family and wishing you all peace.

  81. Comment by JamesInPhoenix | 07.20.2009 | 3:28 pm

    My heart breaks for you, Susan and the kids. We love you and are praying for you.

    James

    PS
    I HATE CANCER TOO.

  82. Comment by geckonia | 07.20.2009 | 4:05 pm

    sending a gentle hug…

    (((((Susan)))))

  83. Comment by Jen | 07.20.2009 | 4:08 pm

    You’re both in my prayers.

  84. Comment by 6 | 07.20.2009 | 4:15 pm

    speechless. thinking of you both. hoping and praying for the best.

  85. Comment by Greg Streuber | 07.20.2009 | 4:15 pm

    Our thoughts and prayers are with you.
    Godspeed.

  86. Comment by Erine | 07.20.2009 | 4:19 pm

    Fatty, Susan and family-

    Please know that my prayers are with you all.

  87. Comment by Carla | 07.20.2009 | 4:30 pm

    Thanks for the update. Cancer sucks. It sucks the life out of everyone. I agree with the pump. I think 6 hous awake with less pain is better than 12 hours awake and intolerable pain.

    I hate Susan has to endure this – I hate you and your children have to just stand by and watch.

    My prayers are with you and your family.

  88. Comment by Angie G | 07.20.2009 | 4:31 pm

    Fatty ans Susan, Look at all the drops in the bucket above and below this post. You both have collected and organized these drops. We are a Cancer Army, Your Cancer Army. We have our arms around you both trying as best we can to give you strength. I can’t wait until that bucket is full and we can all shout “Take a hike Cancer”.
    Well my initial comment was less G rated, but I cleaned it up for the post. :-)
    Love and Strength

  89. Comment by justrun | 07.20.2009 | 4:38 pm

    I hate cancer, too. Sending thoughts, prayers and strength for you all.

  90. Comment by Matthew Allen | 07.20.2009 | 4:38 pm

    No one should have to go through this. Thinking of you…

  91. Comment by Robin | 07.20.2009 | 4:39 pm

    I am praying for your beautifully, strong and amazing wife Susan! I pray that you are able to control her pain and that her suffering be lessened greatly. I found your site via PW and I am so grateful that i have. I am not a biker but I am a woman who will be vigilant in making sure that my friends as well as myself do monthly breast self-checks. I will be checking in and praying for you from Houston. May God wrap His arms around your family!

  92. Comment by mamajenny | 07.20.2009 | 4:40 pm

    Cancer sucks. I’ve been the loved one trying to administer the right things for pain, and it’s so hard. I just wish you both relief. Fatty…you are an honorable man. You really are.

  93. Comment by Sue W | 07.20.2009 | 4:43 pm

    Thanks for keeping us updated. I still check in a few times a day just in case. You are all in my thoughts, and I know how hard it is to write about Susan’s pain, but we are all pulling for you, Susan, and the kids. I wish I could say something more helpful.

  94. Comment by ellen | 07.20.2009 | 4:44 pm

    I am praying for you and your family. There is a whole army of cyclists out there fighting for susan.

    Stay Strong.

  95. Comment by ricky | 07.20.2009 | 4:50 pm

    stay strong. keep fighting. keep winning.

  96. Comment by Born 4Lycra | 07.20.2009 | 4:51 pm

    Bollocks to Cancer.
    Livestrong and WIN Susan – We Love You and you and the kids too FC.

  97. Comment by Clydesteve | 07.20.2009 | 5:11 pm

    I hate it too, Elden.

    You and Susan are in my paryers. I am praying for comfort for Susan, and wisdom for you.

    Steve

  98. Comment by Heidi | 07.20.2009 | 5:12 pm

    Sending everyone big ol’ (but ultra-gentle for Susan) hugs and smooches.

  99. Comment by Connie | 07.20.2009 | 5:15 pm

    Don’t be afraid of the pump. I used to work for a home health agency. We had a patient with cancer who had avoided the pump. We gave him one, finally. He had an enormous baseline dosage with really large bolous dosages. You know what? He was able to go fishing with his grandchildren and play dominoes with his friends. People not dealing with pain would have been asleep forever.

  100. Comment by Ryan | 07.20.2009 | 5:24 pm

    You’re in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t imagine the strength you both have inside, but I’m praying you get more. Thanks for causing me to reflect on my own life and for leaving me absolutely humbled and in awe. You both touch so many people and leave such a positive impact, I can only pray you are rewarded.

    WIN SUSAN

  101. Comment by sam | 07.20.2009 | 5:25 pm

    I’ll admit that I started reading your site for the cycling, but I’ve been moved by your stories of Susan. In large part because my mother went through the same thing 10 years ago (finally succumbing at the ripe old age of 49). at one point, she could barely move as well, because the cancer had metastasized into her bones, and everything hurt. She also flat-out refused any drugs that would knock her out. She was adamant that she “keep her mind”. One thing that we found helped a lot were fentanyl patches. They’re delayed release, so you slap one on (your back, your thigh, wherever), and they last for about a week constantly releasing fentanyl into the bloodstream. At one point, my mom had 2 and a half patches attached to her (which is A LOT), and she was still mostly mentally clear (cancer had also spread somewhat to her brain, so there were issues there, but the drugs didn’t make that worse).

    My thoughts are with you and Susan. I know how difficult this can be.

  102. Comment by CeeCee | 07.20.2009 | 5:27 pm

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling so out of control. I felt the same way with my mom.
    You just want to help!
    Prayers for all of you. Thanks for keeping us up to date.

  103. Comment by Uphillbattle | 07.20.2009 | 5:34 pm

    Sending prayers of comfort and strength for you, Susan, and the kids. I hope this medicine will help the pain. I hate cancer, too!

  104. Comment by Andy | 07.20.2009 | 5:53 pm

    I hate Cancer too !!
    Stay Strong Fatty.

  105. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 07.20.2009 | 6:01 pm

    Said a prayer for you today. WIN SUSAN!

  106. Comment by Russell | 07.20.2009 | 6:03 pm

    My thoughts are with you.

  107. Comment by SarahinNE | 07.20.2009 | 6:27 pm

    Thinking of you, Susan and the kids today and always. Cancer truly sucks.

  108. Comment by gail | 07.20.2009 | 6:47 pm

    I hurt so much for both of you. Susan is so brave, and although you feel helpless, it is wonderful that she has you to fight for her. I hope they find something quickly that helps.

  109. Comment by jeff | 07.20.2009 | 6:48 pm

    Thinking of both of you.

  110. Comment by devin | 07.20.2009 | 7:03 pm

    bless you and your family.

  111. Comment by Claire | 07.20.2009 | 7:37 pm

    I hate the Cancer too, for making her hurt and you hurt to have to watch. I wish I had the words to help. I am thinking of you all.

    WIN SUSAN

  112. Comment by Sramtaro | 07.20.2009 | 7:37 pm

    WIN Team Nelson! I think about you and your wonderful family alot, and I realize how lucky we both are. Keep fighting.

  113. Comment by Fat Cathy | 07.20.2009 | 7:47 pm

    Strength to you and Susan both, Fatty. Thank you for giving us an update on Susan. I hope you find a pain solution soon.

  114. Comment by BamaJim | 07.20.2009 | 7:49 pm

    Continuing in prayer for Susan and all your family.

    Grace and Peace

  115. Comment by Glenna | 07.20.2009 | 8:03 pm

    No words are adequate. We pray you feel peace, comfort and God’s love in this awful situation. I have felt many times the love you have for each other – your care of Susan and your children, Elden, and Susan’s enormous love and desire to be with you, in spite of the awful pain and difficulty that she has had to endure for so long. Take comfort in knowing your love is forever and so are your relationships. May God grant you the peace you need and the strength and power to do what is before you, with grace. You both (all)have already won! Our love to you!

  116. Comment by Debby | 07.20.2009 | 8:04 pm

    You are in my thoughts and prayers for peace and strength and comfort. It is awful that you are going through this; there are so many of us who are with you…if love and caring and support can heal, then you and Susan have already won. ((hugs))

    I hate cancer too. My dad’s in treatment right now. You and your family are an inspiration to us.

  117. Comment by Rebecca | 07.20.2009 | 8:09 pm

    Praying for all of you.

  118. Comment by DaveL | 07.20.2009 | 8:16 pm

    Our familiy’s thoughts and prayers are with you all.

  119. Comment by Linda | 07.20.2009 | 8:54 pm

    praying for you

  120. Comment by PhilaUte | 07.20.2009 | 8:56 pm

    Heartbreaking post. I can’t imagine what you and your family are going through. Our love, thoughts, prayers, etc. are all headed your way.

  121. Comment by Bush Babe | 07.20.2009 | 8:57 pm

    Healing, hopeful wishes from Down Under. You are amazing. SO is Susan. Massive hugs…
    ? BB

  122. Comment by ChefJT | 07.20.2009 | 8:59 pm

    God bless you all. We are your army and we will find a way to WIN.

  123. Comment by christy478 | 07.20.2009 | 9:08 pm

    Sending big hugs and prayers to you, Susan and the kids.

  124. Comment by Erin Dunn | 07.20.2009 | 9:10 pm

    Pour your hate for cancer into the fight against it. LIVESTRONG!

  125. Comment by Carol | 07.20.2009 | 9:20 pm

    My heart aches for you and Susan. I am so very sorry. You are all in my prayers.

  126. Comment by Brandy | 07.20.2009 | 9:22 pm

    I hate cancer too!

    Stay strong Fatty Family.

  127. Comment by Tiger | 07.20.2009 | 9:22 pm

    Words do fail. Soak up all the love and prayers sent from people all around the world. Let susan know how much of an inspiration the world thinks she is.

    Stay strong.

  128. Comment by p.j. | 07.20.2009 | 9:26 pm

    Fatty and Susan,
    I am adding my prayers for excellent pain control. The pump sounds like the ticket. Hospice people are amazing.
    Thanks for sharing the news with us. I feel helpless, but I know I can pray for peace and strength for you and your children.
    Take care, p.j.

  129. Comment by KT | 07.20.2009 | 9:30 pm

    +1, Jim B.

    Words fail me. Ultra gentle hugs and extra good vibes heading your way, Nelson family!

  130. Comment by jilrubia | 07.20.2009 | 9:35 pm

    Your situation is awful, hateful and maddening, but your love is clear, wonderful and inspiring.

    Win.

  131. Comment by Scrod | 07.20.2009 | 9:44 pm

    Sending hugs and gentle thoughts for your family. Words are failing at times like these.

  132. Comment by The Old Bag | 07.20.2009 | 10:06 pm

    Gentle hugs and positive thoughts being sent your way!

  133. Comment by Jennifer | 07.20.2009 | 10:07 pm

    The morphine pump allowed my dad to be more comfortable and coherent than he had been in many weeks. He had the little button that allowed him to instantly “beep” himself an extra bit of morphine when he needed it. It was such a blessing, and he had so much more control than when he was doing the oral meds.

    I hope you and Susan and the hospice folks can find the best pain management system soon.

  134. Comment by KatyO | 07.20.2009 | 10:10 pm

    my thoughts are with you, susan and your children. I’ll do my best to send good karma your way.

  135. Comment by Lone Star Lifer | 07.20.2009 | 10:25 pm

    I know this is so personal and painful for you and your family. Thank you for sharing with your readers and letting us pray for you and send support and ((((hugs)))). I know it doesn’t fix anything, but I hope you know you are not alone, that the Nelson family is being lifted up by many tonight. I am asking my blog friends to also remember you and Susan. Sending good thoughts your way.

  136. Comment by Kathleen | 07.20.2009 | 10:27 pm

    Sending you both boatloads of love and positive thoughts that cancer just backs the *you know what* off. Big hugs.

  137. Comment by Susan | 07.20.2009 | 10:32 pm

    From the middle of an Iowa cornfield, prayers for peace and comfort. It’s amazing how many people you’ve reached with your fight, how hard you’ve fought. Hang in there.

  138. Pingback by Fat Cyclist update. « LONE STAR LIFER | 07.20.2009 | 10:37 pm

    [...] Fat Cyclist update. Published July 20, 2009 Fat Cyclist Leave a Comment Tags: cancer, Fat Cyclist, Livestrong Foundation I have written about a blogger named Fat Cyclist before.  His wife Susan is fighting cancer and I’ve been reading about their struggles for the past year.  Last Thursday Susan began being in so much pain that serious measures are being taken to make things bearable for her.  If you are moved to do so, I ask that you spend a moment in thought for Fatty (that’s what he calls himself) and Susan; also their four children at home.  You can read the latest on them at http://www.fatcyclist.com/2009/07/20/july-21-update-on-susan/. [...]

  139. Comment by Bill F. | 07.20.2009 | 10:45 pm

    Elden,
    Freedmans are there for you. Will Ben and Jerrys help?

  140. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 07.20.2009 | 10:54 pm

    I, too, hate cancer more than words can convey. It is stealing our wives (and countless others) at way too young an age. My wife has an allergy to morphine or she would definitely use the pump at this point. If Susan can tolerate it, I suggest using it.

    Peace be with your family.

  141. Comment by Jenn | 07.20.2009 | 11:10 pm

    I hate cancer for you. I hate cancer for Susan. FIGHT LIKE SUSAN! Sending as gentle a hug as possible. Thinking positive thoughts.

  142. Comment by Chris | 07.20.2009 | 11:21 pm

    It just sucks. But you’re working hard to help Susan as much as possible, and your writing will help others, perhaps even some of us, when we face this. Pulling for you both.

  143. Comment by jessica | 07.20.2009 | 11:41 pm

    My heart goes out to you and Susan.

    I’ve worked in the health care field for the last few years. I’ve seen cancer patients in their darkest hour. I cannot fathom the pain she must be going through. I wish Susan the comfort she deserves.

  144. Comment by Graeme Thomson | 07.21.2009 | 12:15 am

    ‘Those who bring sunshine to the lives of others, cannot keep it from themselves.’
    This is an incredibly tough time you are all going through, my helmet (hat) goes off to you for your courage & determination.
    You have inspired an enormous amount of people to help fight cancer, and I believe, to be better human beings…

  145. Comment by Lissee (formerly known as Bitter) | 07.21.2009 | 12:49 am

    I’m sooo sorry Elden. I’m just soooo sorry! My thoughts are with your family.

  146. Comment by Lisa | 07.21.2009 | 12:50 am

    I know what you’re going through. I once shared your experience, and I’m so very sorry for your wife’s suffering, as well as yours. There are no words that can make it better, but know that you are both held in the hearts of many.

  147. Comment by Daniel | 07.21.2009 | 12:50 am

    My thoughts and love go out to you both. Big hugs.

  148. Comment by Saso | 07.21.2009 | 2:04 am

    Hold on. Wishing you all the best.

  149. Comment by Big Boned | 07.21.2009 | 2:06 am

    Fatty and Susan,
    I’m sorry for what you are going through. Thank you for sharing with us. The two of you are making a difference. I just wish it didn’t come at such great cost. Peace to you both.
    BB

  150. Comment by Little1 | 07.21.2009 | 3:16 am

    Fatty, you are a brave man for letting us all in to share this with your family. I don’t know how you do it.

    Susan you’re beyond awesome, you’re B-AWESOME!

    CAT 2:01

  151. Comment by Ann Saetnan | 07.21.2009 | 3:24 am

    I’m so sorry Susan and you are going through such pain. If I could make one suggestion that might help — she may wind up using less pain medication if she goes on the counter-attack and takes some aggressive pain medication at first twinge. I know it’s hard to switch to this approach from a grit-and-bear-it strategy, perhaps especially for can-do independent types such as athletes. Still, do try. Think of it as taking control (which it is!) rather than as giving in. It should give Susan better pain control with less loss of alert time to share.
    Hugs from a sympathetic stranger and all the best from here in Norway.

  152. Comment by flossy | 07.21.2009 | 3:54 am

    I hate cancer. Thinking of Susan, you and the kids

  153. Comment by buckythedonkey | 07.21.2009 | 4:04 am

    My whole family hates cancer. Fight like Susan, Fatty. Lots of love.

  154. Comment by Susan Tomlinson | 07.21.2009 | 5:12 am

    You and Susan are in my thoughts today.

  155. Comment by Linda | 07.21.2009 | 5:19 am

    I am so sorry that Susan is in such pain. You are both in my prayers.

  156. Comment by Jamieson | 07.21.2009 | 5:33 am

    Elden and Susan -
    My heart breaks for you in this difficult time.

    Find comfort in making the right choices with Susan and her care. Let no hour pass without expressing your love and leave no regrets.

    Jamieson in NYC

  157. Comment by DebbieQ | 07.21.2009 | 5:39 am

    We will never meet I would suspect but know that you are both in my thoughts and prayers.

  158. Comment by Tom Fury | 07.21.2009 | 5:51 am

    we are with you

  159. Comment by LeLaLu | 07.21.2009 | 7:41 am

    Eldon-
    I just had the pleasure of meeting your beautiful daughters in Colorado. They are shining lights and seem to be having a wonderful time with Auntie Jodi and Roan. Made my heart break thinking of your plight, your family who is trying to stay strong in the face of impossible pain, and your lovely wife who is doing all she can in this world. I have been to a similar place and know that pain.

    When we decided to go with the morphine pump it really helped to manage the pain…both my son’s and ours. Watching a loved one suffer is more than I could bear. It was my relief also, but hard to communicate my love through the drug’s fog.

    There is no wrong move here. You do the best with what you’ve been given. I’ll pray for your family in the only way I know how. Peace and love to you all.

  160. Comment by Fuzzy | 07.21.2009 | 8:37 am

    Fatty,

    I don’t know what I could say or do to help. If I could get you and Susan to package up some of that pain and send it my way to bear on your behalf, I would.

    Luv ‘n Stuff
    Fuzzy from the UK.

  161. Comment by Eloise | 07.21.2009 | 9:31 am

    I’m so sorry. I wish there were something I (or anyone for that matter) could do to ease Susan’s pain.

  162. Comment by Cliff | 07.21.2009 | 10:30 am

    Fatty,

    It breaks my heart to hear what your family is going through. What a terrible terrible disease. Please let us readers know if there’s ANYTHING we can do for you & your family. My prayers, thoughts, and love is going out to you & Susan & your kids over the miles.

  163. Pingback by Cancer, the predator. Predators, the cancer. MooseLegs | 07.21.2009 | 11:05 am

    [...] a lot over the last few weeks so that he could take care of his family. Yesterday, Fatty posted this update on Susan, which was hard enough to read. Last night Fatty tweeted that they put in Susan’s morphine [...]

  164. Comment by Marty Christian | 07.21.2009 | 1:19 pm

    My heart is breaking for you, for where you still have to go, having been there myself. I am sorry that anyone has to have cancer touch their lives.My prayers continue to be with you and your family.

  165. Comment by gina | 07.21.2009 | 6:27 pm

    I hate cancer also!! So sorry she is in so much pain. My heart breaks for her.
    May God’s peace be with you and your family.

  166. Comment by Tina | 07.21.2009 | 8:37 pm

    No words, just tears and prayers. I only know that God is still God through this, so I’m just crying out to Him – for all of you.

  167. Comment by Evan | 07.21.2009 | 10:06 pm

    Fatty, our thoughts are out to you and your family.

  168. Comment by Dobovedo | 07.21.2009 | 10:13 pm

    helpless. just feel.. helpless

  169. Comment by Jessica Volkmer | 07.21.2009 | 11:40 pm

    Fatty,
    We pray for Susan every day, sometimes many times through out the day. I am praying for you and your children too.
    Jessica Volkmer

  170. Pingback by Broken Hearted « SpringfieldCyclist.com – Tracy Wilkins’ Cycling Weblog | 07.22.2009 | 10:17 am

    [...] This post. [...]

  171. Comment by Marcel C Duhamel | 07.23.2009 | 4:00 am

    I have never met or spoken to either of you, but know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Cancer sucks.

  172. Comment by MS. BENNIE JOHNSON | 07.31.2009 | 3:32 pm

    Thank-You (PAULA “PARKS” FULFORD) For Sharing (FATTY) And (SUSAN’s) Story With Us, So, That We (Prayer Warriors) Can Share The Story w/Others As We All Continue To Request That This Family Be Added On All Of Our (Prayer Lists). (FATTY) And (SUSAN), As We All Continue To Pray For Your Needs To Be Met, Thank-You For Sharing Some Of The Specific Things That You Guys Are Going Through And Bringing Us Into Your Home Through The Internet. Each One Of Us Has Differant Gifts And Talents. However, When There Is A Situation Like This, We Sometimes Feel Helpless In Knowing How To Help. Through The Intimate Struggles And Concerns That You Guys Continue To Share With Us However, It Better Equips Us To Know What Specifics To Pray About And What Talents Or Gifts That We Might Be Able To Offer. You Never Know Who’s Hands (GOD) Will Put This Info. In, In Order To Be A Vessel Of Comfort, Healing Or Revelation. May (GOD) See Not Only You Both, But, Your Entire Family Through This Time Of Suffering. From The Heart Of (CHRIST’s) Love, MS. BENNIE K. JOHNSON~

  173. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » July 21 Update on Susan | Play Dominoes Online | 08.2.2009 | 8:02 pm

    [...] posted here: Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » July 21 Update on Susan Posted in Dominoes History | Tags: been-asleep, dominoes glasgow, Dominoes Rules, [...]

 

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