Six Minutes of Joy
Susan’s mom and sisters (and one of Susan’s sister’s daughters) arrived yesterday afternoon to see Susan. Which meant, suddenly, I had time for myself.
Which meant, of course, that I was going to get out on my bike for a while.
The thing is, the temperature was hovering right around a hundred degrees. And while I can — and have — and do — ride in that kind of heat, it’s not my favorite.
And that’s when I remembered: I live near the mountains. Which means I can always climb to where it’s cooler. Seriously, between the shade and the higher altitude, it’s fifteen degrees cooler.
Thinking back to how great riding Tibble Fork was a few days ago, I decided to ride it again. But this time with a geared bike. And a working helmetcam.
I got the whole thing — all two hours of the ride — on video, but rather than put together a Cliff’s Notes version of the whole ride the way I usually do, I want to show you one particular section, in its entirety. That section of trail is officially named “South Fork Deer Creek.”
But we — the people I ride with — call it Joy.
We call it that, because that’s the feeling it brings. (And also because we like to give trails people names.)
After a difficult climb — three remarkably brutal uphill miles — there’s nothing quite like six perfect minutes of fast, swooping downhill. Trail that is so good that it fills your brain completely. There is no room for anything but pure joy.
Except for maybe it’s a good idea to reserve just a little bit of extra room in your brain for thinking about how it’s a good idea to juke left right now or you will hit that tree.
Tomorrow morning, a group of us will ride Tibble again. I’ll video it again, and I’ll show off some snippets of the rest of this unbelievably good trail.
But Joy deserves to be experienced in its entirety.
So here it is. Joy.
PS: Mud Springs — the second iconic descent in the Big Tibble loop — is the polar opposite of Joy and is just as good. It deserves — and will get — the full video treatment as well. Soon.
PPS: Thanks to the hundreds of people who commented yesterday. I really appreciate your encouragement and your support.
PPPS: I don’t want to give too much away, but very soon I will be doing my next big LiveStrong Challenge contest, and the prize will rhyme with “Orbea Orca with a Shimano Dura-Ace Di2 build.” I wonder if that’s too obvious of a clue.
Comment by c3 | 07.28.2009 | 9:52 am
I’m so disappointed that my work blocks your video. I can’t see a thing. I’ll have to try again from home. Sounds fabulous.
Comment by Charlie Brown | 07.28.2009 | 9:55 am
Way to clear the cobwebs and get rid of “that guy”! Hang in there, buddy. Keep yourself sane so you can be the guy you need to be for Susan and the kids!
Without Joy, how can you understand sorrow…?
Comment by Justin S. | 07.28.2009 | 9:57 am
Thank you for sharing all of your stories. You are doing an amazing job; really inspirational. I will be thinking of you, Susan, and your family.
Comment by Julie | 07.28.2009 | 9:58 am
I’m so happy you ride every chance you get Fatty, don’t ever stop! It will fuel your body and soul when you need it most.
Comment by Bridget | 07.28.2009 | 10:01 am
What a beautiful trail! Glad you got out for a little bit. I hope Susan is still fighting the fight. Maybe she’ll feel a little better with her mom close by….
Sending endless prayers and best wishes….
Comment by Susie | 07.28.2009 | 10:01 am
joy comes in the morning…words to live by…so glad for your six minutes!
Comment by BigCoop | 07.28.2009 | 10:04 am
Thank you for JOY. So many of us carry a burden. Often there is no time for an escape. Your brief one made me smile. Keep riding. Ride for yourself, your kids, for Susan and for all of us who love what you love and how you love.
Comment by Susie | 07.28.2009 | 10:04 am
p.s. LOVE the soundtrack!
Comment by DavidV | 07.28.2009 | 10:04 am
You really have a Geared Superfly and a Superfly SS ?
Well that is phat!
Comment by Fauve | 07.28.2009 | 10:05 am
Amazing. Love the joy. Take your kids out and let them have fun and feel that joy too. Ask a friend to help you with details that you can’t handle now. Pick someone who is always offering to help and say YES. I don’t know how to go about comparison shopping.. Can you do it for me, then give me some yes/no choices. People want to be there for you. Let them.
Comment by Rachel | 07.28.2009 | 10:06 am
That’s awesome video. It almost makes me want to get on a bike, but I prefer running support!
I loved your choice of music, especially the first song. Perfect. I instantly had two little girls dancing in the room.
Comment by Heidi | 07.28.2009 | 10:08 am
YAY!
Comment by Louis | 07.28.2009 | 10:10 am
Love the adrenalin just watchibg the film makes me feel I’m there! nice way to get away and be oneself.
Comment by BJ | 07.28.2009 | 10:11 am
Awesome ride! I found myself leaning through the the curves while sitting at my desk. Stay Strong!!
Comment by Lynne | 07.28.2009 | 10:13 am
Amazing…. Ride like there is no tomorrow! When my dad’s fight ended I went with a friend’s referral. Good, positive thoughts and prayer for you and your family…
Comment by Jamieson | 07.28.2009 | 10:13 am
Keep on riding and taking the time to keep yourself centered.
Keeping you and Susan in my thoughts today.
Comment by Tyler | 07.28.2009 | 10:15 am
Sweet trail…wish we had something like that right outside our door! Glad you’re able to get out to ride…it must be overwhelming when you’re at home without the little breaks on the bike.
Just did a little post for you on Bikerumor to keep others updated, let us know if there’s something we can do to help promote Livestrong Challenge…we’d love to see Lance rockin’ your arm warmers in the Leadville!
Best,
Tyler (and the Bikerumor crew)
Comment by Gail | 07.28.2009 | 10:18 am
I remember one time walking and not wanting to ever stop, It was as if God was urging me along, opening my eyes to every wonder of nature.
What a wonderful place to go to, to be.
Comment by annainaspen | 07.28.2009 | 10:20 am
What a great ride! Loved the soundtrack too. You’re doing a great job with everything going on. I’m keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
Comment by Kelley | 07.28.2009 | 10:20 am
I can only imagine the release you felt as you biked that mountain. Lots of prayers for you and your family.
Comment by Tim Horton | 07.28.2009 | 10:22 am
Hang tough. Thinking about you guys.
Be Strong, Livestrong, Fight Strong.
Comment by 29er | 07.28.2009 | 10:28 am
I love riding that trail- even watching it is a blast! Thanks for capturing it. I hope today can be peaceful for your family.
Comment by woody maxwell | 07.28.2009 | 10:28 am
Remember the great ride of life that your are fortunate to have shared with Susan! Great bike ride too!
Comment by Jason Mitchell | 07.28.2009 | 10:30 am
LOVE that downhill! JOY is a great way to describe it for sure… One of my all-time favorite downhills in AF Canyon!!
Be strong, Fatty!
Comment by Chris Manning | 07.28.2009 | 10:30 am
Hey Fatty! I just found your blog through Lance Armstrong on Twitter and was surprised to see that you’re local! I would love to ride with you sometime!
Comment by gail | 07.28.2009 | 10:33 am
This is very good news to hear. Thank goodness for joy. And thank goodness that Susan’s mom and sisters and niece are there.
Comment by Chris Cowan | 07.28.2009 | 10:34 am
I always tell people that if things get bad go for a bike ride. I’m glad you got a chance to get out there and ride. I’m sending positive vibes your way… stay strong.
Comment by bikemike | 07.28.2009 | 10:35 am
WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!
Comment by Rebecca | 07.28.2009 | 10:37 am
Oh my gosh! I would have been screaming to stop the ride at the first turn. How fast were you going? This is so unlike anything I would ever do so I love that you can bring it to life like that.
Comment by km | 07.28.2009 | 10:37 am
Aww jeez, there you go again and my bike addict habit start jonesing again. I’ve not been on an MTB for about 5 years but I think about and remember great rides everyday. Once my kids get a few years older I’ll be back in the saddle….seriously! Joy looks awesome! Go Fatty and God Bless.
Comment by Kathy | 07.28.2009 | 10:39 am
Words can’t express the joy I felt especially knowing it was shared with you as you released everything for 6 minutes. Feel the positive energy that surrounds you and Susan from all the people that love and care for you.
Comment by barry | 07.28.2009 | 10:42 am
Hey Fatty, I just noticed a was leaning and ducking my head slightly in my office chair with your turns, the sign of a great video!
Just found your site off LA’s twitter and you are a legend for taking the time to share the “joy” of such a wicked descent and make loads of people smile with a great video with the suffering in your life. I wish you and your family strength and courage.
Comment by Daren | 07.28.2009 | 10:51 am
Fatty, glad you got the chance to get out and clear your mind. Glen Adams and I dropped into South Fork right behind two XC Moto racers on KTM’s a couple of weeks ago. They were more than surprised when the two MTB riders were still on their wheels at the bottom. One of the best downhills on the Wasatch.
You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
Comment by Philly Jen | 07.28.2009 | 10:51 am
“…but joy comes in the morning.”
Glad to see something that puts a smile on your face. Ride hard. We love you, man.
Hugs for Susan’s mom, sisters, and niece.
Allez Team Fatty Philly!
= FIGHT LIKE SUSAN =
Go Fatty Go
Comment by Christina | 07.28.2009 | 10:51 am
Amazing trail, Fatty!
Thanks for the Joy you gave us.
Comment by bikerchick | 07.28.2009 | 10:52 am
So glad you are finding the joy! You are an amazingly resourceful, resiliant man, Fatty. Remember your own words in trying times, Elden:
“I can always climb to where it’s cooler.”
Preserve and honor that sacred space, and go there whenever you need to. Praying, still.
p.s. – @lancearmstrong is trying to break Twitter today in your/Susan’s honor. Search and see, then feel all the love.
Comment by justrun | 07.28.2009 | 11:00 am
I think even I could get some joy from that, and I’m a huge chicken rider. Thanks for sharing.
Thinking of all of you, and sending strength and prayers.
Comment by Tasha | 07.28.2009 | 11:01 am
SO glad that you got out to do something that you obviously love – and could get to a better place in your mind, temporary though it might be. I share with you the joy of cycling – no matter how crappy of a day/week/month I’ve had, getting out on some country roads just makes me…happy. Glad that you could experience that happiness today too.
Comment by montanapat | 07.28.2009 | 11:01 am
Like one of my favorite bumper stickers say’s: “Don’t postpone Joy”. You certainly didn’t.
Thinking of you and your family.
Be strong.
Comment by Leslie | 07.28.2009 | 11:02 am
I think of you and Susan and your family many times every day, and I am so glad you were able to take this bike ride — and thanks for sharing it! I’m also glad Susan’s mom and sisters are there, so you knew she was in great hands.
Comment by UpNorth | 07.28.2009 | 11:08 am
I admire your ability to take time for yourself to recharge & refocus. You are teaching your children a very valuable & healthy way of being.
Comment by kat | 07.28.2009 | 11:14 am
Tears of Joy for you and your family.
Comment by Brian N | 07.28.2009 | 11:15 am
So maybe I missed it, but what people name have you given mud springs? That was an awesome video, but not nearly as much fun as doing it personally. I love that down!
Comment by Ruth Walters | 07.28.2009 | 11:29 am
Being the support person can be much harder than being the patient – I’ve been both. Sometimes you just try to survive the minute – and sometimes you are in/on joy….I’m thinking of you and your family.
Comment by JamesInPhoenix | 07.28.2009 | 11:31 am
Thanks for the video it was awesome! I hope it cleared your mind. Ah it’s been too long, I’m going to have to come up with an excuse /reason to convince the wife that I’ve gotta go to Utah. I remember the euphoria every time Ryan (yeah same Ryan –we went to collage together) and I went up and rode ridge trail 157 and Joy, formerly known as Tibble Fork. All I can say is that is some primo mountain biking.
I’m way jealous as our LOW last night was 81. The high yesterday (and forecasted for today) was/is 114!!! But it’s a dry heat… (Yeah I’m not all that clear on what that means either. Maybe it means “it feels like you climbed inside your oven.”)
Comment by josh | 07.28.2009 | 11:32 am
I find that riding is the best way for me to clear my head.
Keep fighting the good fight
Comment by JamesInPhoenix | 07.28.2009 | 11:33 am
D’OH! college not collage
Comment by Lonan | 07.28.2009 | 11:34 am
Ride, get into the moment and be free for a short time. You’ve handled it all and you will continue to be strong. There’s no doubt there. That is who you are . Keep writing because in a way you are taking care of the rest of us as well. Keeping us centered as we wander off the path and loose perspective about what’s important. God bless you and thank you
Comment by Pete D. | 07.28.2009 | 11:36 am
Cherish the memories. Thinking of you. Stay strong. Be strong. Live Strong.
Comment by BGT | 07.28.2009 | 11:36 am
Hi Fatty,
I found my way to your blog from Lance Armstrong’s and Levi Leipheimer’s twitter posts. My heart goes out to you and your family – stay strong. You’re most precious gift to Susan is your love, support and comfort. So glad you had a chance to get out on your bike and clear your head – love the helmet cam!
My thoughts and prayers are with you. You’re a pillar of strength for your loved ones and I admire you for sharing your story on this blog. It’s inspiring and comforting for others in your situation to read this and know they aren’t alone. And I hope you find comfort in all of us writing back to you who’ve had a loved one suffer from cancer and share so many of the emotions you’re going through.
All the best and keep on riding!
Comment by Kt | 07.28.2009 | 11:37 am
Great video, but who was the other rider you came upon?
Glad you got a chance to go outside and blow the stink off, as my mom says. :) Although, maybe you just ended up more stinky, but it’s a different kind of stink.
Stay strong, Fats. We’re here with you.
Comment by SkiMoab | 07.28.2009 | 11:40 am
No matter how hot, hard, or brutal that climb is, Joy is always worth the pain. LOVE that trail, just wish it was longer.
Comment by Brewer | 07.28.2009 | 11:40 am
Damn, that was an awesome midday distraction – almost as good as the real thing… almost!
Livestrong Fatty!
Comment by Brandon S. | 07.28.2009 | 11:42 am
Nice video. I will be thinking of joy all day now. I can’t wipe the smile off my face. See you in the morning for another run at joy.
Hang in there and stay strong.
Comment by Ali Amagasu | 07.28.2009 | 11:44 am
Wow Fatty! That gave me the shivers. Literally, I had a physical reaction to seeing you bomb down that trail. Made me remember the good times with my girlfriends in the Soquel Demonstration Forest before we all got married and had kids. Thanks for sharin’!
Comment by Pete McPhedran | 07.28.2009 | 11:45 am
Hi,
I heard about this blog from Lance’s tweet.
I have only read a bit so far, keep up the great work. Thouhgts and prayers to you and everyone like you.
–Pete
Comment by Scrod | 07.28.2009 | 11:46 am
Awesome video, hold on to the joy whenever you can. We are all pulling for you.
Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 07.28.2009 | 11:54 am
That looks amazing! Makes me want to mountain bike. The Ode to Joy was perfect!
WIN
Comment by Kellie | 07.28.2009 | 11:55 am
Just caught up on the last two entries, and I’m sorry that everything is happening so quickly and that you are truly thrust into a life experience that none of us want to handle. First of all – take your son aside and just apologize. Not for being upset about the cat, just how you handled yourself. He’ll understand, and an your acknowledgement of having a human meltdown is all you need to do. As for the “details” – I had to do all of this two years ago this coming August 27th. My husband died of a sudden, massive heart attack. To say he was the least likely person that would die from something like that was an understatement – so unlike your situation – I didn’t see it coming. But, like your situation, I was having to make decisions in a world that I wasn’t sure about. Ask a neighbor, minister, co-worker or someone you know who has had to make these kind of plans in your town who they used, and if they were happy with them, then go with it. I got my recommendation from an unexpected source, and was very happy with the place and people. I agree, it is hard to do comparison shopping, but if you have the ability and time to do it now, then do it. Things move quickly when you ultimately need a place, so if you have the gift of time it might make things more comfortable. You can also start putting aside pictures, thinking about music (our music was anything but church-like – it was a compilation of music that meant something to us over our 35 years together). Also think about who you might want to speak – I asked three friends of my husband – two golf/work buddies and one friend from the neighborhood. And then I spoke, which was crazy for me, but I did it. The words came easily, but I did have it written down so I wouldn’t worry about freezing up or straying from what I wanted to say. And as for the kids and school – they will be OK. You might even be able to give a heads up to the school about the possibility of a situation happening around the start of school. My oldest daughter had just started her first day of the second year of law school, and her younger sister had just started the second week of her second semester of college. They took the week off and then got back into school. It was good for them to be back with friends and back into life. My only other suggestion would be to keep the dialogue open with them, and maybe even consider a grief counseling group or a therapist for all of you together and then maybe some individual counseling. My children made me so proud, but it was not easy – I don’t think it is supposed to be easy – but as well as they did, they still had some hard times. You will too, but you’ll be alright. The anticipation of the end is so hard, but you will be thankful for relief for her. I’m sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to share some things that were important so maybe they might help you also. God Bless.
Comment by PennyPue | 07.28.2009 | 11:56 am
I really do wish I understood the clue.
Do you think googling it will help?
(And WHAT is up with googling not passing the spellchecker??)
I’m going to now watch 6 minutes of Joy.
Comment by Scott Gilmore | 07.28.2009 | 12:00 pm
Dedicated my afternoon ride to you and your family. Take everything as an opportunity to better yourself.
Comment by Don | 07.28.2009 | 12:11 pm
What a great ride. My heart actually started pumping during the video. Maybe you have created a new execise video for the couch potato that lurks in all of us once in a while. With all of the emotions you are going through, try to keep the Joy in your thoughts as much as you can. Hope it will keep lifting your day, like it has lifted mine.
Comment by Elaine | 07.28.2009 | 12:15 pm
I saw the post on Lance’s twitter. I will say a prayer for you and your family. I found out years ago, it helps. Thank you.
Comment by Clydesteve | 07.28.2009 | 12:22 pm
Ode to Joy – perfect!
Continued prayers & best wishes for you & your family, Elden.
Comment by doward | 07.28.2009 | 12:23 pm
That’s some mighty strong medicine!
Comment by Todd Musick | 07.28.2009 | 12:26 pm
Fatty,
I’m in Geneva for a study abroad program and was fortunate enough to catch Stages 18 and 21 of the TdF. Coincidently, today I am wearing my Fat Cyclist.com t-shirt and an American stopped me on the street to inquire. I relayed your story and then went to my hotel to check out today’s cycling news. I first went to Livestrong.com, but LA’s Twitter feed indicated he was thinking about you. So, I feared the worst and pulled up your URL from my favorites as quickly as I could. Unfortunately, my fears were confirmed.
I’m so sorry to hear about Susan’s rapidly declining health. I pray for Susan’s long-awaited comfort and for you and your family’s peace through these very difficult times. If nothing else, please take comfort knowing that there are literally thousands of people (if not more) that are thinking about and praying for Susan, you, and your family.
Ride on….
Comment by Weiland | 07.28.2009 | 12:30 pm
I’m planning a pod of Orca’s so can’t wait to hear what I need to do to win this one.
Comment by Kyle | 07.28.2009 | 12:33 pm
That is an awesome trail. Sorry for your current hardships; that is absolutely terrible. From Chicago with love.
Comment by @PeckishCyclist | 07.28.2009 | 12:34 pm
Finally Ode to Joy makes sense! Beethoven must’ve been an MTBer.
Holding good thoughts–
Comment by grog | 07.28.2009 | 12:34 pm
sending you my best
Comment by Jacqui | 07.28.2009 | 12:37 pm
Hi Elden,
I posted in your blog from yesterday about 7 hours ago. About 5 hrs ago, I recieved a phone call from my mother telling me that my beloved grandfather had passed away. It took me 40 minutes to get there to hug him and say goodbye.(The drive normally takes 1 hr.) I am his oldest grandchild. This man was a war hero. King George medal for bravery. He had huge hands. He swore like a trooper. He adored me and I was the only one allowed to touch his hair. He still loved me when, as a toddler, I bit his nose quite badly, and as it was just about healed, did it again! He taught me to drive (and about road rage! LOL) He had a gruff voice, sharp, told it like it is. He smoked all his life (and wore the butt behind his ear) He was a great man. I love him immensely. I miss him tons. I have just arrived home and I have to leave for work in two hours. It is not worth sleeping. I feel privileged to have been born into his family. It is not fair what life deals us. But like I stated in my comment in your post yesterday, I thank you for this blog……..
Comment by HC | 07.28.2009 | 12:40 pm
Hi Fatty,
Just got aware of this inspiring and touching blog of yours..
I will return on a regular basis to read about Susan and your life! Keep up the spirit!
Nice video by the way!
Best regards from Copenhagen, Denmark
-HC
Comment by Susan K. | 07.28.2009 | 12:41 pm
Great video! I just found your blog today thanks to Mr. Armstrong. Thinking about you and your family.
Comment by Willie Nelson | 07.28.2009 | 12:42 pm
I’ve learned this much while in Florida… I miss Tibble Fork.
These people can have their beaches, BCS games and boat shoes. I just want my canyons and trails with elevation!
Your recent write ups and videos make that harder to deal with.
Thanks.
PS Winstrong
Comment by Chuck Jones | 07.28.2009 | 12:49 pm
Fatty,
My cycling son just sent this to me since my wife’s daughter “Susan” we just learned has cancer throughout the abdominal cavit that has matastized to the liver. So newly discover we don’t even have the treatment plan.
As I sat here and read your posts and the ‘07 Christmas letter I found myself crying like a baby. But, who was I crying for? Yeh, guess feeling sorry for us as much as for her.
You are an inspiration, it was a great ride (although at my age don’t want to go at those speeds) and it really helps me, even though it hurts to know there are lots of us fighting this “thing” together.
You, Susan and your kids will be in our prayers.
And, thanks for all your sharing.
Chuck
Comment by snapper | 07.28.2009 | 1:11 pm
So glad you had that time – hopefully it will gave you enough renewal to keep on. You are amazing.
Comment by stefano | 07.28.2009 | 1:15 pm
you may call it Joy, I would call it a sweet recovery ride! Yea for Susan’s mother and sisters!
Comment by Scott Morrison | 07.28.2009 | 1:18 pm
Fatty,
I almost lost my wife two years ago. I took rides to blow off steam, keep my sanity, and when I was totally overwhelmed, it gave me a chance to cry privately and pray. Finding time to ride helped me be strong for my family. I hope it is still doing the same for you. You and your family remain in my prayers.
Comment by Rant | 07.28.2009 | 1:19 pm
Amazing video. Makes me want to dust off my mountain bike and find a few trails. Hang in there.
Comment by Parker | 07.28.2009 | 1:22 pm
You need this single track. Blessings to you and your family. Hang in there!
Comment by Murphy | 07.28.2009 | 1:23 pm
Just found your blog via a note in Lance’s Twitter page. Read the last couple of posts and one from June in 2008. Touched, tears, overwhelmed. Don’t really know what the hell to say. You’re doing a hell of job. Messed up but still functioning. Keep doing. You feel what you feel. Every right to be pissed. Ride when you can. Keep writing. Writing makes a difference. From a supporter in Arizona.
Comment by Shawn | 07.28.2009 | 1:24 pm
Cycling AND Beethoven- what could be better :P
Great vid
Comment by duckie | 07.28.2009 | 1:24 pm
What a beautiful ride – you so deserved that!
Comment by @theandy | 07.28.2009 | 1:26 pm
I have been following you forever and only just now clicked onto your blog. I fcuking love this blog. Just beautiful, all of it. Thank you for sharing. FWIW its helped me thru my own loss(es). Thank you. Much Respect.
Comment by Jennie | 07.28.2009 | 1:26 pm
glad you got a chance to get out and ride & really appreciate you sharing it! I live where the world is flat & haven’t had a chance yet to take my bike out to try exciting things like hills… I think you’ve convinced me I need a mountain
thanks!
Comment by Susan (another one) | 07.28.2009 | 1:35 pm
I’m in the office by myself so I could blast that a bit!
Comment by HannahSusan | 07.28.2009 | 1:37 pm
You are doing Susan and the kids proud – the strength you are showing now will stay with your kids forever.
I found out today (after being insipred by your video) I can run 5 miles far more comfortably than I can ride it – my poor arms felt like they’d been shaken to breaking point!
Comment by Andrea | 07.28.2009 | 1:41 pm
Fatty- That was indeed a joyful ride. I smiled through the entire video. Good choice of songs as well! Thanks for sharing your ride with us.
Comment by Damian Faulkner | 07.28.2009 | 1:44 pm
A Simple Thank you for sharing this, you gotta be strong to livestrong and you have it in buckets loads.
Comment by Chris | 07.28.2009 | 1:48 pm
DUDE! Awesome vid… love the scenery.
I caught myself thinking about light sabers, speederbikes and scout-troopers.
Comment by Lisa | 07.28.2009 | 1:49 pm
I’m glad you had some joy… Hang in there.
Comment by mikeweb | 07.28.2009 | 1:53 pm
FC, greetings from Brooklyn, NY. I’ve just learned of you and your families terrible challenge today on BSNYC (you might already know of his contest for you he announced today).
Please know that my thoughts and hopes will be with you and your family. As much sadness, frustration and anger as you may feel now, allow yourself to feel more happiness, love and joy than those.
Someone close to me is in the midst of a cancer scare right now. Our hope is that it will only be a minor skirmish and not an all out fight.
Mike
Comment by Allison | 07.28.2009 | 1:56 pm
I found your blog via Lance’s Twitter feed and I have not been able to stop reading. Hang in there, and try to find some strength in the fact that you’re doing everything you can. You and your family are an inspiration.
Comment by Anonymous | 07.28.2009 | 2:03 pm
Be strong. You’re not alone in this. Do what you need to do for yourself.
Comment by kiwi | 07.28.2009 | 2:05 pm
When I’m sad,mad or just pissed at the world riding helps….Ask people for help!
Thinking of you and yours!
Kiwi.
Comment by Mike Roadie | 07.28.2009 | 2:19 pm
Glad you are able to get out some!
Team Fatty Austin ROCKS for Susan!!!!!!
Comment by Wade | 07.28.2009 | 2:20 pm
Reading your blog entries really hits home for myself and the millions of others who have experienced this terrible disease. I’m glad you have your riding and this blog as an outlet for your energy. This blog certainly acts as an inlet of support as well. We’re all with you Elden and we’re praying for Susan and your family. Take care
Comment by drKim | 07.28.2009 | 2:24 pm
Everyone is thinking about you today…check out http://bikesnobnyc.blogspot.com/2009/07/prize-fighting-knuckle-down-to-win.html
The ride video is awesome….makes me want to try mountain biking again!
Fight LIKE Susan!!!!
Your family is in my prayers. Hang in there.
Kimberly
Comment by Jenny | 07.28.2009 | 2:28 pm
I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through… enjoy your rides, hopefully they’ll bring some peace and comfort, especially as things progress and sanity becomes a difficult thing to hold on to….
God Bless you and your family, stay strong…
Jenny
Comment by Dusk | 07.28.2009 | 2:34 pm
God Bless!
Comment by Angie G | 07.28.2009 | 2:52 pm
Amazing Video Fatty. I had coworkers from all over the building looking in my office to see what was going on.
I am glad you continue to take care of yourself too.
Pedal Fast
WIN SUSAN!!
Comment by Abbie D | 07.28.2009 | 2:52 pm
Hi Elden,
This is my first time posting. I, like many others, have come to you from PW’s site. First, I would like to tell you that this is my first time posting because I truly don’t have words for the pain that you and your family are feeling right now. Please know that I’m praying for you daily…because I don’t know what else to do. My heart breaks for you.
Second, I would like to tell you that that video scared the s*%! out of me. Did you speed it up or something??? Geez when that other biker popped up I thought “I” was a gonner. HOWEVER…it didn’t scare me as much as another video I watched on like the hardest trail in the country or something like that. I don’t remember what it was called…but it appeared the entire ride had a rock filled mountain on one side of your bike, and “doom” on the other with the way it dropped off. Holy toledo that’s scary!
(I’m a wimp and try at all costs not to put myself in harms way…can you tell?!) :)
Comment by ms ellie | 07.28.2009 | 2:56 pm
So glad to see that you were able to go out and find some “joy” in your day….yesterday’s post was so hard to read. What you are going through is awful.
I have read your blog for several years, coming over from PW’s site. I don’t ride a bike,,,but tomorrow, in honor of you and Susan and your kids, I am going on a ride…So pray for me! I plan on praying for ya’ll while I ride.
Comment by donbiker | 07.28.2009 | 3:02 pm
“Sanity Machine” I first heard this 40 years ago from a friend riding in circles at a flat spot in the Santa Cruz mountains who was waiting patiently for me. The world is if anything even crazier now but the bike is still the place to go for peace.
Beethoven’s ninth. Dig that music.
Comment by Kathleen@ForgingAhead | 07.28.2009 | 3:10 pm
Yea for family!
What a gorgeous trail…aptly named. Glad it brought you some too.
Comment by Mandy From KS | 07.28.2009 | 3:20 pm
So glad you were able to get out and ride. Stay strong!
Mandy
Comment by steve | 07.28.2009 | 3:21 pm
God bless you and your family during this time.
Comment by Pam D | 07.28.2009 | 3:24 pm
Thank you.. for taking US along for the ride. I only have one question (because I am NOT a biker); that track looks narrow.. what if you meet someone coming up?
Comment by TD | 07.28.2009 | 3:26 pm
Hi Fatty,
I was directed to your blog from Lance Armstrong’s twitter page. Though I have only read about four or five pages back, I cannot describe the profound way yours and Susan’s story has touched me. Your fight to keep sane and stay strong, all the while facing this cruel fate for your beloved wife, is truly inspiring.
All the best to you and your family all the way from Aarhus, Denmark.
Once again, I credit your spirit.
Take care,
TD
Comment by DebbieQ | 07.28.2009 | 3:27 pm
WOW, that was better than any IMAX video. I will stay on my sedate, slow bike rides however and leave that kind of biking to you and my hubby. But know that when I do ride I pray for you and Susan.
Comment by Amber | 07.28.2009 | 3:28 pm
That trail looks amazing!!! I’m so glad you were able to find a few minutes of Joy in this difficult time.
Comment by Jamieson | 07.28.2009 | 3:38 pm
On the upcoming contest, a proper hint would be “Rhymes with Orange”
Comment by Mark W | 07.28.2009 | 3:51 pm
Hey Fatty:
Glad that you can go out on a ride.
I am a roadie and do not dig this downhill stuff. What were you thinking when you descend? For me descending after a long hillclimb all I can think of is “get aero. go faster. don’t crash”.
Ride on buddy.
Comment by Nancy M. | 07.28.2009 | 3:55 pm
I am praying for you and your family.
Comment by Helena | 07.28.2009 | 3:58 pm
I’m honored that you shared your joy with the rest of us. Thank you. And good luck to you, Susan, and your family. May there always be joy in your lives.
Comment by Gene | 07.28.2009 | 3:59 pm
Fatty,
THoughts and prayers to you. Have been following for about 6 months i guess. seems like we are neighbors. saw a tweet from Lance to check out your site today, so here i am. glad you got out to ride. you are inspiring in many ways, and i thank you for being STRONG.
Love to Susan and the kiddos,
Gene, Tracey, Mike, Zach, and Bryce
Hartford, VT
Comment by Bruce Withers | 07.28.2009 | 4:11 pm
I am christian, not sure about you guys have not read enough of the blog to know. I do not know how you feel, I can only imagine myself there with my wife of 30+ years. I will pray for peace for you and your family and calm for your wife. That is not much, not now, maybe not ever on this earth…I just don’t know. But somehow I hope it helps knowing that “me” that does not know “you” does care for you, there are people still out there that give a hoot for your family and your situation, I cycle too, I wish you many good days on that bike and that it is your calm place or mad place as it may be. Whatever there are us that will think about you and hope your o.k.
Bruce Withers
Comment by Carole | 07.28.2009 | 4:29 pm
Like many others, Lance’s tweet sent me to your website. Cancer seems to affect everyone and there are so many people going down the same path as you and your family. I hope you get to grab many more lucid moments with Susan and we all wish you and your family the strength to get thru these tough times. You in our thoughts and prayers.
Comment by Neil K | 07.28.2009 | 4:33 pm
Hang in there. Great ride vid. Best wishes to you and yours.
Comment by Cat | 07.28.2009 | 4:33 pm
Dear Fatty – Fat Cyclist is a blog after my own heart. I discovered your site via Twitter yesterday, as did the rest of the world, and I hate that I’ve discovered it in such a tough time for you and for Susan.
My thoughts are with you both. I know I won’t say anything profound that hasn’t already been said, but I do agree that there is no right way to act in this situation, and no wrong way. I lost my sister to leukemia when I was 9 and for years I lived in regret at the times when I wasn’t patient or understanding enough, to her or to others. Expecting to behave normally, or even rationally, is unreasonable at this time. You’re a fantastic husband and person, and I truly wish for peace and comfort for you, your beautiful wife and your family. I’m glad to read you “found Joy” again today…
Cat
Comment by Rhonda | 07.28.2009 | 5:03 pm
Just watched the vidieo very awsome. Will keep you Susan and the kids in my heart,prayers and thoughts. The best honor we can give a taken loved one is to do our best to go on and live our lives as we know they would be prod of. We must never forget those who have fought the best fight they can. Support from OK
Comment by bobbieh | 07.28.2009 | 5:07 pm
I’m so happy you got a chance to invite JOY into your world today!!!
Hugs for all ~
Comment by Stacie | 07.28.2009 | 5:19 pm
Today was my first intro to Fat Cyclist. So glad!
I am touched by your willingness to share the experiences with Susan, riding, family, etc. Your strength, love, compassion, humility…a lesson to us all.
I thought reading this blog might bring up difficult memories, as I was a care giver to my mom. The truth is, taking care of her was an awkwardly beautiful experience; painful, stressful, heartbreaking and heartwarming….and reading about your experience with Susan is helping me to put my time with Mom in a different perspective.
I know, all too well, what those escapes can do for your own mental/physical health. Keep at them and thank you for bringing us along.
I wish you peace in this difficult, beautiful, painful adventure. I did not have help or support from my family so Hospice was a gift I will always cherish. They gave me the book “Final Gifts” and because of that book, I better understood the process of dying and found peace.
Wishing YOU peace.
Wrapping you and your family in brilliant, warm light,
Stacie
Comment by suzie | 07.28.2009 | 5:24 pm
I loved the video. Great comback from the day before. That ride seems to embody everything you are going through…a tough, bleak period with lots of pain followed by an unrestrained moment of joy.
Please allow yourself to be human. You are doing a great job under enormous circumstances. Dont be so hard on yourself. You are present, you are doing everything you can…you are perfect and Susan knows this. In the end, it is the love that matters.
I will be praying for you,
Suzie
Comment by Shari | 07.28.2009 | 5:54 pm
Thanks for the awesome video. I watched it with my 10 year-old son and he asked if he could do that on his MTB. Oh yeah! Joy comes from unexpected places, like your blog. And sorrow too. Love and support to you and your family.
Comment by Lilo | 07.28.2009 | 6:15 pm
Hang in there Fatty. I know how beautiful that part of Utah is and I miss it a bit since I now live in Northern California. I am thinking about you and Susan and I wish you some peace and gentleness for you and your family.
Comment by Jenn | 07.28.2009 | 6:15 pm
Here you are, in the middle of all you are going through—a ride through anywhere but joy—and yet you find six minutes of joy somehow…and share it with us. You are a champ, and a hell of a soul. Sending love and support and at least six minutes of my own joy straight to you with a big WHOOOOOOSH. So glad I found you here. I wish, like everyone else here, that I could take away this sorrow you must endure.
Comment by Jenni | 07.28.2009 | 6:49 pm
COOL.
1) You are fast
2) I want to move to Utah now
3) Does your helmet have a bill?
Comment by mike | 07.28.2009 | 6:56 pm
Fatty,
you deserve every one of those six minutes. Be strong.
My thoughts are with you and your family.
mike
Comment by Kevin Kirwin | 07.28.2009 | 7:06 pm
Bro – you made my day with the video. You are a good man. Everything goes to Susan and you. Grab my wheel or let me grab yours! Godspeed.
Comment by Candyce | 07.28.2009 | 7:18 pm
That video was amazing…keep the strength and keep riding for those 6 minutes are for you and Susan!!
My prayers are with you and your family
Comment by ToddBS | 07.28.2009 | 7:54 pm
Amazing. Being from Florida, I have only heard whispers and rumors of such downhills. I had always passed them off as myths; figments of the imagination. You’ve shown me proof. There is a promised land… just watch out for the guy going up the wrong way! :)
Props on the Social D cut, too. Stay strong; ride strong.
Comment by Beth | 07.28.2009 | 8:00 pm
Thank you for sharing your JOY with us. It was great!!!
You have been in my thoughts and I am keeping you and your family in my prayers.
Comment by PhilaUte | 07.28.2009 | 8:14 pm
Nice touch with the Beethoven. It reminded me of this quote from a letter to his brothers, in which he described his feelings of despair and hopelessness as he realized his deafness was permanent.
“O Providence – grant me at least but one day of pure joy – it is so long since real joy echoed in my heart.” Ludwig van Beethoven–Heilestadt Testament – 1802
He then went on to compose Symphonies 3-9, his last few piano concertos, several piano sonatas and string quartets, and his only opera–some of his most powerful and importand work.
You’re facing a situation that would cause most of us to withdraw in self-pity and sadness. Instead, you choose to find and share joy wherever you can. Keep up your amazing work. You, Susan, and the kids are in our thoughts and prayers.
Comment by Andrew | 07.28.2009 | 8:38 pm
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Thanks.
Comment by Jackie English | 07.28.2009 | 9:04 pm
Lance’s twitter feed sent me your way and I’m so glad he did. Your blog is inspirational and touches the heart to the point of breaking. You have a gift. My husband and I both love mountain biking here in Grand Junction and understand the peace and joy you find on your bike. After I wiped my many tears away, I went and hugged my husband and kids for a long time. How lucky we all are to get to share so many wonderful years, and minutes, together. Sending you, Susan and the kids our strength and support.
Comment by Kerrie R | 07.28.2009 | 9:33 pm
I’m new to your blog (you can thank Lance for that), but I just wanted to say that I’m glad you had 6 minutes of joy today after how you were feeling yesterday. I can’t imagine what you’re going through but you are a model of the “attitude is everything” philosophy.
Wishing you and your family peace and strength. You’re not alone. LIVESTRONG!
Comment by Anonymous | 07.28.2009 | 10:02 pm
Joy interruptus.
Loved you chasing your shadow.
Comment by Michael Christensen | 07.28.2009 | 10:31 pm
I love the Fat Cyclist.
Elden. You are amazing. Thank you.
Your story is sad and inspiring. It’s helping me remember my grandfather as he died a few weeks after a stroke. I was there in his last hours with my parents. I am glad to remember that.
My mom reads you daily, I catch up weekly. When she reads you she remembers helping her parents in their last days. Both of them at the same time, her mom dealing with multiple forms of cancer.
Remembering is good. Endings are good.
You are good. Thank you for touching my family.
There are people all over holding you and your family up.
Comment by Karen S | 07.28.2009 | 10:38 pm
Hi! My husband saw your blog via Lance’s tweet. Just wanted to say hi and give you a bit of support. My dad had colon cancer, and I had the opportunity to quit my job and take care of him and my mom for 5 months. I miss him a lot, but I was so lucky to have that time with him. The roller coaster thing you talk about is really tough, but the ups are truly a gift.
Anyway, I love your writing, and I wish you and your family courage and strength. It look like you’ve got all the love you need.
All the best, Karen (NYC)
P.S. COULD NOT AGREE WITH YOU MORE about Contador’s pistols. Gack.
Comment by Holly | 07.28.2009 | 10:46 pm
So happy you had some JOY today!
I am a breast cancer patient who has watched my husband suffer through the trials of caring for me. Go for the JOY.
You, Susan, and your family are in our prayers.
Comment by David | 07.28.2009 | 11:39 pm
Mahalo…..Amid your pain you brought us JOY!! And what JOY it brings.
Comment by Bas Jansen | 07.29.2009 | 1:39 am
Fatty, my thoughts are with you and your family.
Comment by Claire | 07.29.2009 | 2:41 am
Like so many others here, I found your blog following Lance’s tweet. Read your post from Monday. Didn’t know what to say. Kept thinking about it. Still didn’t know what to say.
This morning, decided what to say. Simply that since I read your Monday post, you and your family have been in my thoughts. Came here this morning to say that and found your latest post. So now I have one other thing to say – which is that I’m delighted to hear that the support of family meant you were able to get some time for yourself and turn those pedals.
Take care.
Claire – London, England
Comment by Earl | 07.29.2009 | 3:41 am
Hey Fatty, sent you mail the other day, after reading Monday’s post! Make thanks for bring us all a little Joy, I hope it put a smile on you dial and you managed to blow away a few negative thoughts! I hope Susan is comfortable, and I can only imagine that she is completely surrounded by love at this moment, I hope your energy picked up from Joy is given to her!
Also would love to see that video again with your commentary(despite the fact I loved the music), I wanna hear the arghhs, oohhhs, yeeaaahhs and the general whooping that a trail like that is bound to make you give off!
Thanks Fats for the inspiration, I’ve only known you since Monday, but I feel like I share a lot with you already!
Sending you all the very best from France!
Courage, and keep your chin up and your head held high!
Earl
Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 07.29.2009 | 4:01 am
Brilliant Video. Had to wait to get home to see it.
Nope I’m stuffed can’t think of anything that rhymes
with “Orbea Orca with a Shimano Dura-Ace Di2 build.” Maybe you’ve moved into that posh area of poetry that does not make sense or rhyme.
Over 770 comments yesterday – magnificent support. We are with you FC – Win Susan. Livestrong.
Comment by Mark | 07.29.2009 | 5:08 am
Your stories move me and fill me with respect towards the way you are handling this very difficult situation. Besides that, your video of ‘Joy’ is spectacular and it makes me get back on the MBT. I just wish we had mountains like that here in The Netherlands ;)
I wish you all the strength and support in the world!
Comment by George | 07.29.2009 | 7:08 am
After reading this column for the past few months you have made an impact on my life. I’m sure many people feel the same. I couldn’t imagine going through what your going through with Susan and still being funtional. I’m sure your riding gives you your breaks here and there but overall I’m sure it pretty damn tough, tougher than most could handle. Without really knowing you I can tell your a great person. Just by the words you write, your thoughts it’s easy to see how compassonate you are. I wish you and Susan and your family the best. I wish Susan peace. I think of her everyday and say a healing psalm. You motivate and inspire me. Thank you for your blog.
Be strong.
George
Comment by ShellyChell | 07.29.2009 | 7:26 am
So glad to hear Susan’s Mom, sister & niece have arrived to give you some much needed support. Ride the bike as often as you can, then when you get home you will be in a better space to deal with the heart wrenching realities at home. I was in the same space almost six years ago, the comforting things I look back on now are things like “touch”. Even though Susan can’t ask for it right now, she craves the touch of those she loves. Grab a bottle of her favorite lotion and rub her feet, legs,arms and back. Get a warm steamy wash cloth with a drop of pure rose oil (or her favorite soothing scent) and wipe her face and forehead. Pamper her even if you don’t think she knows. She will! God bless!
PS It was not in my nature (I’m fanatic about no “drugs”) but I can tell you that 1/2 a Valium prescribed by my doctor helped me cope and not be snappy during rough times durning the hardest days. I look back an I’m glad oI had the “Valium Band-Aid”. I was still able to function at 100%, just without the edge. Take care!
Comment by Bander | 07.29.2009 | 7:53 am
Man, every time you post stuff like this I am kicking myself for having left Happy Valley. Careers can really mess with your outdoor recreation. I’m glad you’re still finding some joy and were able to get some bike therapy in.
Comment by Gonzalo | 07.29.2009 | 8:08 am
Excellent ride! reminded me of the old days riding in Dallas at the Northshore Trail in Grapevine Lake. Great Memories.
Haven’t found great trails in So Fla
Comment by akaKathy | 07.29.2009 | 8:16 am
“Joy” – a perfect name for sweet, sweet single track.
Enjoy the sweet rides that make you smile and the brutal uphill miles that help work out all your frustrations.
Conitued wishes of peace to you, Susan and the kids.
Comment by Mike | 07.29.2009 | 9:18 am
That trail looked freaking awesome! Thank you for sharing that as well as the rest of your story.
-MC
Comment by Mike Roberts | 07.29.2009 | 9:23 am
Mate
amazed at you and your wife
you and your life
what you’re doing to kill cancer
if you ever get to OZ and the barrier reef in FNQ
here’s a week’s holiday waiting for you
Comment by Aaron | 07.29.2009 | 9:31 am
Nice Fatty, very nice.
Comment by Heavy J | 07.29.2009 | 9:32 am
Awesome ride, awesome video, AWESOME visit from family, and Awesome soundtrack.. You rock Fatty..
Heavy
Comment by spa | 07.29.2009 | 10:12 am
Dear Fatty,
Thank you again for your wisdom, strength, and humor. You are teaching so many of us–friends, family, strangers inside the computer–so much.
Sharon
Comment by George | 07.29.2009 | 11:14 am
WOW! Have just spent the past hour reading your blog and your words have touched my heart. I find my joy in a kayak rest assured you and your family will be on my mind in the Jersey shore. Much peace to you and your family.
Comment by Aunt B | 07.29.2009 | 11:35 am
The guy coming uphill is lucky he doesn’t have treadmarks upside his head. Glad you got out for the “stress enema” as we call it at our house. Nothing better than a meadow of wildflowers rushing at you at 25+ mph.
Continuous payers for you all. You are a good man and have an incredible family.
Comment by Onan the Barbarian | 07.29.2009 | 11:55 am
“Except for maybe it’s a good idea to reserve just a little bit of extra room in your brain for thinking about how it’s a good idea to juke left right now or you will hit that tree.”
Never underestimate the stopping power of a tree.
Comment by Jennifer | 07.29.2009 | 11:59 am
Awesome trail! Sending love and peace to all of you.
Comment by EvilCyclist | 07.29.2009 | 4:11 pm
I was thinking how many places an unsuspecting guy who had Evil friends with paintball guns could be ambushed by such friends on that trail.
Depending on the switchbacks, elevations, etc. quite a large area of the trail could be covered by those Evil friends…
So, its in your best interest to carry your OWN paintball gun, just for, you know, self defense.
For a small up front fee, with the bulk to be paid on delivery, Evil Labs could begin the development of a handlebar mounted auto-paintball-defense system. I’m thinking a laser eye movement tracking sight attached to your helmet, full heads up display, electric Gatling type unit with custom Fatty Clydesdale logo and special edition Fat Cyclist orange and black paint balls. Really quite stylish and understated.
-Evil C.
Comment by Barb | 07.29.2009 | 6:45 pm
I just found your blog thru Lance’s Tweets, too. Your story is touching me close to my heart. I hear you, as I nursed my husband through cancer as well as my little brother, losing them both too early. I experienced twice exactly what you are writing about – trying to balance the meds between pain and lucidity; feeling helpless; not being able to understand what they are saying; wishing desperately for a few more hours or even minutes to talk and be your old selves again….Good for you for taking your bike out once in a while, and for being able to find Joy. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. And thank you for bringing back the memories of my loved ones. Strangely, the pain of their memory brings them close again, if only for a short time.
Comment by korymu | 07.29.2009 | 10:53 pm
Fatty – “Long time reader, first time commenter”… First, I’m so sorry for your situation, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Know that you are not alone in this. Secondly, great video – the shadow of you at the end is so cool! But you need to pick it up on your descents… :) BTW – what type of cam are you using?
Much love to you and your family.
Comment by Neil | 07.30.2009 | 7:39 am
That video is awesome!! The back story and the music combined with Joy almost made me cry. I will donate to Livestrong asap.. I’ve been meaning to for a long time.. I’m glad you had your Joy.. even if it was only for 6 minutes….
+—————————+
| Neil __o |
| _`\<,_ |
| (_) (_) |
+—————————+
Comment by ChefJT | 07.31.2009 | 9:38 am
Always wonder what that piece of music was written for…now I know.
Cupcakes to you, Susan and the children.
Joe S.
Comment by Deborah | 07.31.2009 | 11:24 am
Thanks Fatty.
I wiped my eyes and immediately added Ode to Joy to my i-pod.
All my best to you and your brave family.
Deb
Comment by Deborah | 07.31.2009 | 11:33 am
…also made a donation.
Livestrong.
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[...] recently gave you a clue about the next big Fat Cyclist fundraiser for the Lance Armstrong Foundation. It was a very [...]
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Comment by rick | 08.5.2009 | 7:49 am
fatty:
I don’t know you and I’ll probably never meet you, but I am deeply touch by your family’s courage. I especially am inspired by Susan’s and your resilience. Though I only visit your site occasionally, I take inspiration: my father is dying, nothing will change that but this record helps me help and love him during the time he has left.
Pingback by TGIM. « SkiMoab | 10.2.2009 | 5:05 pm
[...] perfect start to the week. Ben and I met up at 6:45am to ride Deer Creek South Fork, a.k.a. “Joy“. Ben was itching to break in the new steed, his Redline Monocog Rigid SS 29er. Ben Admiring [...]