Hanging With Lance

10.29.2009 | 12:14 am

This is the last post I’ll do about the Austin LiveStrong Challenge. I promise. Unless something else occurs to me or I otherwise change my mind.

The thing is, though, I just got the photos of the team and me with Lance.

And they’re awesome.

The most rewarding one is the group photo from the award ceremony dinner on Saturday night.


Here, Lance actually volunteered to wear a Team Fatty jersey. The thing is, though, I didn’t have one with me to wear. So the guy you see behind and to the left of me, currently wearing a black t-shirt, gave his up for Lance to wear.

I also like the posed photo Lance and I took right before the dinner.


The thing is, while we were standing there, Lance actually told me something I did not know and that very few people know, and that a lot of people would be interested in knowing.

But I’m not going to say what it is. Because secrets are at their most awesome when people know you have one, but don’t know what it is.

But back to photos with Lance.

I have to say that my very most favorite photos are of me riding with Lance.


Gee, I wonder why he has a pained expression on his face? Maybe it’s because of this:


Or perhaps he’s just disappointed that the basket, with its copious carrying capacity, is — alas! — empty.

Maybe he’d be happier if there were something in it.


Or, considering my nickname and the nature of my blog, perhaps he was hoping for something along this line:


OK. Tomorrow we stop talking about Austin. Seriously.

Cuz you know, it’s about time to start thinking about Movember.

PS: Thanks to Red Licorice Events for providing me with that exquisite bike for the photo shoot.


  1. Comment by Leon | 10.29.2009 | 12:37 am

    Shopped! haha

    Great pics though. You owe mw a keyboard

  2. Comment by Doug | 10.29.2009 | 12:49 am

    It is so much better you were NOT on a road bike. So much exactly FC.

  3. Comment by misterbuba | 10.29.2009 | 1:19 am

    Great pictures Fatty! I agree with Doug. A sleek road bike would not have shown your true nature. I know from reading the blog that you were able to borrow a bike from a LAF staffer for the 65, but may I ask other posters, how were you able to get your gear down to Austin? I would love to ride next year as a member of Team Fatty but have only rideen rides close to home.
    Thanks for any help and the inspiration Fatty!
    Rock on, ride hard and FLS!

  4. Comment by Rita | 10.29.2009 | 1:49 am

    You’re The Funniest Man on Earth. Love your awesome recounting, awesome pics, brilliant cartoon bubble conversation skills. Congrats on all your super-beyond-belief achievements with Team Fatty; I mean – jus lookit whatchoo done. Is Lance going to throw in a few bucks to bring Team Fatty to a nice, round million? Gosh, he IS swell.

  5. Comment by buckythedonkey | 10.29.2009 | 3:55 am

    Alberto is Lance’s love child.

  6. Comment by buckythedonkey | 10.29.2009 | 3:56 am

    Oh, sorry mate. I didn’t realise it was supposed to be a secret.

    Love the bike, by the way. So appropriate!

  7. Comment by Redbird74 | 10.29.2009 | 4:04 am

    I love the sweet combo that is that helmet, those glasses, the jersey, the knickers and that bike. Throw Lance in fully kitted out and those pictures are priceless. Nice work to make the most of that photo op.

  8. Comment by Metric Jason | 10.29.2009 | 4:32 am

    Finally seeing pictures of you side by side with Lance and of him wearing a team jersey makes me incredibly happy. The ride photos are awesome too! I was actually getting bummed out earlier this week because I didn’t realize you were saving the Lance photos for last.

  9. Comment by Jessica @ How Sweet It Is | 10.29.2009 | 4:54 am

    That is awesome.

  10. Comment by Big Boned | 10.29.2009 | 5:14 am

    Yup…secrets are only good if you can tell people you have them (and if they care).
    Is that a shark fin I see? I feel like jumping!

  11. Comment by Paula Kirsch | 10.29.2009 | 5:42 am

    What do your kids think of Dad riding with Lance?

  12. Comment by Frank | 10.29.2009 | 5:44 am

    Thanks for cheering me up this morning! This is hilarious :) Excellent choice to bring this bike.

  13. Comment by sllym | 10.29.2009 | 6:03 am

    I love the puppy! Great pics.

  14. Comment by MarkinBoise | 10.29.2009 | 6:08 am

    News Flash: Lance Armstrong holds team tryouts for next years Tour de France, Fatty takes a spot on a borrowed bike!

  15. Comment by jackelope | 10.29.2009 | 6:28 am


  16. Comment by cece | 10.29.2009 | 6:38 am

    Not sure if Dorothy with Toto looked as cute as you….but perhaps it was like being in OZ!

  17. Comment by Niall @ Brisvegas | 10.29.2009 | 6:53 am

    With a basket that big looks like you are the #1 pick for The Shack’s ‘Super Domestique’! Just remember…no granny gears for an accomplished, award-winning, beloved internet cycling superstar celebrity blogger like yourself. Single-speed all the way. Over the Tourmalet. TWICE!!

  18. Comment by Tommy F | 10.29.2009 | 7:17 am


  19. Comment by Nick | 10.29.2009 | 7:31 am

    What a great weekend! We had an awesome time and it was so cool to meet you.

  20. Comment by CSB | 10.29.2009 | 7:44 am

    ..the secret is that Lance really is Bike Snob NYC?

    Because that would be epic. Just sayin.

  21. Comment by Carl | 10.29.2009 | 7:55 am

    Fatty, you have given all new meaning to the term “self deprecating”. I’ll bet Lance laughed his butt off.

  22. Comment by erin | 10.29.2009 | 8:12 am

    You are so funny! You are also so helpful. My Aunt just found out that she has cancer and i passed around your post about what to do for a loved one when they are beginning treatment. Thanks for the help and the laugh!

  23. Comment by MattC | 10.29.2009 | 8:15 am

    Sheesh…I’ve got my eyes closed in the Team Pic w/ Lance for crying out loud…maybe I can photoshop them open…

    My guess for the Lance Secret: Bobke is making a comeback and will be joining Team Radio Shack.

    And your bike of choice for you ride with Lance was spot-on! Totally befitting an award-winning, most beloved internet cycling Quadulicious superstar celebrity blogger. (My challenge to all Team Fatty members out there is for each of us to add ONE adjective to this description). I claim “Quadulicous”.

  24. Comment by TimRides | 10.29.2009 | 8:17 am

    After the pictures Lance asked if he could keep the jersey. Give up my Team Fatty jersey? No way!

    FLS & LS!

  25. Comment by Nancy P | 10.29.2009 | 8:17 am

    What a fantastic weekend! Thanks for all the posts and yes, it would be fine with me if you posted a few more — it was the culmination of an amazing accomplishment just an all around amazing vibe (and it shows) Go Fatty! Go Team Fatty! Onward and upward – Fight Like Susan ~

  26. Comment by Beth | 10.29.2009 | 8:20 am

    Next contest; “What exactly was the secret that Lance spilled to Fatty?”

    Entries are $5.00 to the LAF…….

  27. Comment by stirling | 10.29.2009 | 8:21 am

    Hilarious!! Your great Fatty. The cancer thing just reared its ugly head in my family again. Knowing there are people out there like you, helping to raise money to get rid of this horrible disease is wonderful. Thanks!! I loved the photo op with Land and that bike…classic!!

  28. Comment by robert orler | 10.29.2009 | 8:22 am

    Great to see the group in Austin, i want to know how did you get Jen to keep her eyes open in a picture?
    Team Fatty made a difference and Susan is looking down on the entire group with one big smile and hug.
    Believe in Team Fatty
    We make it happen!
    Until next year

  29. Comment by hubcityrob | 10.29.2009 | 8:47 am

    Love the nonchalant, arm draped over the handlebar instead of actually gripping the bar. Looks like you are about to give a West Texas Rancher raise of the fore-finger wave to passing cyclists. Appropriate for the Hill-Country.

    And Brent and Ryan need to jump on the basket market quick. I’m telling you – after these shots, it’s going to explode!

  30. Comment by GJ Jackie | 10.29.2009 | 8:52 am

    To Mike C:
    “Quadilicious” is good, but I like my husband’s nickname better: “Quadzimoto”.

  31. Comment by Heather | 10.29.2009 | 9:00 am

    Thank God I’ve learned to not eat/drink while reading your blog! Coffee through the nose is painful…lol! But I think Lance was just jealous that he didn’t have a fashionable and useful basket on his bike. That was definitely the look of envy… :) Great pics!! Thanks for sharing and for making me laugh…as always!! Have a TERRIFIC Thursday!!

  32. Comment by nosferaustin | 10.29.2009 | 9:06 am

    Arrgh! Half my face is gone! Not only did that guy in front of me get to have Lance wear his jersey, he blocked me! Oh well, still a completely awesome night and ride. I will definitely be back next year. Austin 2010!

  33. Comment by eclecticdeb | 10.29.2009 | 9:11 am

    No worries about the Austin stories. I’d love to hear more, and see more pics.

    Awesome bike. So Funny, So Fatty.

  34. Comment by MattC | 10.29.2009 | 9:27 am

    GJ Jackie..ooooh…Quadzimoto..that is really good! (must have missed his comment..oops!) Hmm…might have to come up with a diff one then..mine is prob very close to patent infringment.

  35. Comment by Dr. Lammler | 10.29.2009 | 9:33 am

    Great photoshop.

    It really does look like you are riding with Lance.

  36. Comment by Nancy | 10.29.2009 | 9:34 am

    I really need to take Photoshop lessons from you.

    QuadStrong! Can you put that on a yellow wristband?

  37. Comment by Marrock | 10.29.2009 | 9:39 am

    I know Lance’s secret.

    He prefers recumbents.

  38. Comment by Chris B | 10.29.2009 | 9:59 am

    Arg I must know the secret! He doesn’t actually like Michelobe Ultra? He can fix a flat but wanted to make Race Across the Sky have a thrilling finish? Wait! He reads the blog every day and comments as someone? I’ll keep trying.

    P.S Read the article in Bicycling magazine. Great photo’s of the family.

  39. Comment by Stephanie | 10.29.2009 | 10:07 am

    Best.Post.Ever! Thanks Fatty! Love you!

  40. Comment by speedbump | 10.29.2009 | 10:07 am

    You may have already seen this, but based on the jersey, socks and pose, the current photo caption contest on MTBR.com has a Fatty feel to it. Was your sister by chance involved in this?MG_0710.jpg

  41. Comment by gregc | 10.29.2009 | 10:13 am

    response to misterbuba- I’ve fed-ex’d my bike when traveling (in a box or get a box from a local bike shop), you get door to door service in like 3 days, (send it to your hotel or where-ever) and you don’t have to pay the highway robbery airline fees ($100 or more each way, with no reasonable assurances that they will not damage your bike even in the box). Matt and I were so fortunate that Rocket Girl (aka Angie) brought our bikes down in her truck. Better yet, raise enough money to get into the ride for the roses event and LAF pays for the hotel, airfare and bike transport. This is my goal for next year.
    term of the day “twitteriffic” (credit to Angie)
    I really enjoyed spending some time meeting and talking with many team members. The twin six guys are awesome, and fatty is the real deal. My big advice for everyone is remember to bring your helmet to the ride as its really a pain to chase one down at 7:00 AM at the event.

  42. Comment by Andrew | 10.29.2009 | 10:24 am

    Mr Fatty,

    I have been reading and enjoying this blog from pretty darn well the very beginning. I’d just like to point out that I hereby find the career arc of this blog mind boggling. You’ve gone from bizarre weight loss posts to a photo shoot with his Lanceness as you ride a girl’s bike with pink ribbons on the basket. All the best to you good sir.

  43. Comment by MattC | 10.29.2009 | 10:41 am

    An interesting fact about Fatty that I’ll share w/ ya’ll: one of the pics posted yesterday was my brother Greg and I holding Fatty. Well…unbeknowest to most of you, our award-winning, most beloved internet cycling Quadulicious superstar celebrity blogger is getting a big head after all his recent publicity and success. Seems he has figured out that being so important, he has no further need to stand or walk anymore…thats what teammates are for. So we had to carry him around all day. Another Fatty member would be coming down the finish chute and he’d snap out the command “Be quick peasants! I must be in position to congratulate this teammate. Don’t make me have you flogged!” (he always said that in the nicest way tho…and we were only flogged a few times). Who knew Kellene was so good at flogging? And she does it with such a nice smile that you still feel good about it.

  44. Comment by MrsTeamPhillips | 10.29.2009 | 11:03 am

    Water came out my nose when I saw Toto in the basket. Just sayin’.

    Is Stan Tucci-riffic an appropriate adjective?

  45. Comment by Philly Jen | 10.29.2009 | 11:13 am

    Nutella and baguettes for everyone! Including Yorkies! And Tour de France winners! And Quadzilla!

    (Fun fact: That’s how they kept my eyes open in the group photo. They spackled my mouth shut with Nutella. Mmmmmmm…)

    @misterbuba — Consider booking a rental bike. Really. Early. If you’re with Team Fatty, your team leaders should be able to point you to the right shops that are local to the rides. Cheaper than shipping, no risk of damage, and you may wind up with something a step or two up from your real-life ride.

  46. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 10.29.2009 | 11:15 am

    I agree with eclecticdeb, more stories from Austin is fine! Great photos in all the Austin posts.

  47. Comment by hoon | 10.29.2009 | 11:18 am


  48. Comment by Diane | 10.29.2009 | 11:42 am

    Great post, great photos. I think Lance was eyeing the bike, not your shins or basket contents — wondering if he could get one in yellow. Another adjective for Fatty’s growing title: Tucciesque.
    If the blogging dries up, Fatty, maybe you could be Stanley’s stunt double.

  49. Comment by AngieG | 10.29.2009 | 11:48 am

    Fatty, OMG the photos were great. I had an amazing time in Austin. MattC and GregC were great big bothers and PhillyJen was a fabulous roommate.:-)Not only is she incredibly funny, but she doesn’t snore either. WOW!!

    Misterbuba-As Philly Jen pointed out, renting is definitely a good choice. Make sure you specify with the bike shop how good a rider you are and what type of bike you want. Also make sure you factor in enough time to get fit to your bike properly before the ride. Shipping your bike is an expensive option, but you’ll likely still need to visit a bike shop when you arrive to have it properly put back together and again make sure the fit is right.
    The third option, which I chose as crazy at it sounds, is to haul your bike. I drove from Northern California, with a stop in So Cal to pick up Greg and Matts bikes too. 29 hours from SF to Austin. But it was a beautiful trip and you learn a lot about our country on the way. For instance did you know that in Arizona they photo enforce their speed laws? I didn’t know until I saw the flash of light, hopefully I was going so fast the license plate was a blur. :-)

    Anyway, you must come to Austin next year!! The Fatty vibe was awesome.

  50. Comment by AngieG | 10.29.2009 | 11:52 am

    C:\DATA\My Pictures\OLYMPUS Master 2\2009\10\24\PA240041.JPG

    Fatty, Here is the photo of you and Kellene at the dinner.

  51. Comment by Todd | 10.29.2009 | 12:13 pm

    Thank you for my afternoon laugh. Not at all what I expected – caught me off guard and I’m now grinning from ear to ear…

  52. Comment by Lisa | 10.29.2009 | 12:25 pm

    LOL – those are some of the best photos ever! Especially with the bike with the puppy. Wouldn’t your kids have loved it if you had come home with that!

  53. Comment by Laura H. | 10.29.2009 | 12:26 pm

    The photos are too funny. I’ve been sitting here for the last 10 minutes giggling. E, the pic of you on that bike is PRICELESS. Even many moons from now, your grandchildren with chuckle every time they see that picture.

    Philly Jen: What about Nutella on a Genos? lol

    Team Fatty, you guys are amazing! Keep fighting!

    We WILL win…

  54. Comment by Peter | 10.29.2009 | 12:35 pm

    What a great time!
    Any chance you can post or email a full resolution photo of the team for those of us who were there?

    I can’t wait for next year…I think we should all ride cruiser bikes.

  55. Comment by Kathy McElhaney | 10.29.2009 | 12:40 pm

    Lance’s secret: he prefers running to
    cycling! Gasp!

  56. Comment by Poe | 10.29.2009 | 12:55 pm

    Only Lance could put on a bike jersey and have it be big on him.

  57. Comment by Devlin | 10.29.2009 | 2:02 pm

    Great pics!

    By the way, nice article in the new Bicycling magazine.

  58. Comment by Haven (used to be Kt) | 10.29.2009 | 2:57 pm

    I’m glad I wasn’t drinking or eating while reading this post. See, I can be taught.

    Love the casual way you’re ridin’, Fats. I think Lance had that weird look because you were so much more comfortable than he. And what he’s really saying to you is, “hey, Fatty, wanna switch bikes?” And you’re saying, “No way, Al, you’re not cool enough to roll this ride!”

    Man, your shins really are PALE.

  59. Comment by Kathleen@ForgingAhead | 10.29.2009 | 5:11 pm

    That bike is priceless!

  60. Comment by Heidi | 10.29.2009 | 6:47 pm

    Have you quit accepting donations for LAF? I’ve been making mini-donations for each skein of hand-dyed yarn I sell in my Etsy shop…

  61. Comment by Mike | 10.29.2009 | 7:04 pm

    Awesome pictures!!! :)

  62. Comment by Mary from NC | 10.29.2009 | 7:24 pm

    Sweet, Lance is a nutella fan :-)

  63. Comment by Bruce Bebow | 10.29.2009 | 7:34 pm

    Why is Lance standing in Fatty’s spot?

  64. Comment by allison | 10.29.2009 | 7:37 pm

    Are you losing your fund raising, raffle madness?

    Where are the photos of Lance CHANGING into the Fatty jersey???

    That can be sold.

    If you really cared, you would tell me that thanks to your sister, there is going to be a 2010 calender of Lance doing a shirt change.

    On behalf of this orange Townie rider with basket and basil saddle bags, thanks for showing Lance a “ride.”

  65. Comment by Erik | 10.29.2009 | 7:45 pm

    This weekend, I met Philly Jen at one of the rest stops. After I asked her if she was indeed Philly Jen, she promptly proceeded to try quite hard to recruit me, working on me for 15 minutes. So, should I join Team Fatty 2010? How would I look in pink?


  66. Comment by Sara | 10.29.2009 | 8:19 pm

    @Paula……. “What do Lance’s kids think of him riding with Fatty?” :)

  67. Comment by jenjen | 10.29.2009 | 10:42 pm

    Great pictures Elden! Hey, Jeff showed me the article in the biking magazine with you and the kids. It was really great!

    I just wanted you to know that we love you guys and think about you every day.


  68. Comment by Sasha | 10.30.2009 | 12:11 am

    But I haven’t heard enough about Austin. ;-) Love the post, love the photos, and am very curious if what Lance told you will ever be known. :)

  69. Comment by Eva | 10.30.2009 | 2:26 am

    As a 200% non-cyclist creature, I have deeply enjoyed all your Austin posts & priceless pics and your amazing speech. I’d even be happy with more pics and stories. :-)

    You and your team really made a huge impact on the cancer world and are an inspiration for all fellow human beings facing heartaches in their life. You made it so much greater than yourself and I bow to you in deep honor and respect.

    As you said it so well, it never ceases to be personal too and my thoughts remain with you and your family in all the coming days, weeks and months. Please continue to be gentle with self while you are making such a difference in the world.

  70. Comment by Boomer | 10.30.2009 | 3:01 am

    Lance: “I have a secret man-crush on Stanley Tucci”

    Great pix, great cause. Nicely done.

  71. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 10.30.2009 | 3:33 am

    Fatty – not sure how to write this without being mushy but the whole thing started on such a serious note and I think the photo of you on the REL Bike with Lance just finishes off the whole Team Fatty Campaign for 2009 so well. It is so good to see you having a laugh with the Greatest. I’m sure Susan was laughing as well she is definitely very proud of you and the family.

    Glad Team Fatty Austin had a great time – you all deserved it. Congrats to the other City Teams as well. I proudly tell people I was in a team of 600 or so riders from around the world that raised US$790k for Livestrong and they are stunned. Could I just add congrats to Orbea Girl for making it to Austin from France did any other of the overseas members get to ride?

  72. Comment by MisterBuba | 10.30.2009 | 8:28 am

    @gregc, @Philly Jen and @AngieG,
    Many, many thanks. I look forward to meeting and riding with you all next year! Just gotta save up me nickels for a fine Fatty Jersey! LOL
    Ride hard, LS and FLS!

  73. Comment by Clydesteve | 10.30.2009 | 11:13 am

    Born4Lycra – Yes, my brother Scott Peterson who was a top fund raiser in the Seattle Challenge, continued to raise funds, earned Ride For the Roses honors – green jersey – and came over for the Austin Challenge from Rome. The one in Italy.

    I was proud to finish with him as a part of our celebration of his 5-years-cancer-free anniversary.

  74. Comment by Heather @ runfastermommy.com | 10.31.2009 | 8:27 pm

    those pictures are simply awesome! Frankly, I think Lance was jealous of your basket!

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  76. Comment by Erine | 11.2.2009 | 8:49 pm

    YOU ROCK!!!!!

    And my shins are whiter than yours, but I digress. LOVE THE BASKET! :) I had one like that when I was 4.

  77. Comment by Charisa | 11.2.2009 | 9:39 pm

    Love the pics with Lance – this is classic Fatty material right here :)

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