The Men (and Woman) of Movember

11.13.2009 | 10:51 am

This weekend, we reach an important threshold in the month of Movember: the halfway point. If you’re a member of Team Fatty’s Movember club, your mo should be well on its way to being thick and luxurious.

Here’s mine, as of right now.


This photograph, naturally, prompts the following observations:

  • My mo can be, at this point, considered complete. It’s as thick as I want it, and the hairs are as long as I want them. In other words, my mo is going into maintenance mode for the rest of the month. Yes, I can evidently grow a fully-formed Tallahassee mo in under two weeks.
  • The 2010 Fat Cyclist jerseys are here! And they look awesome. More photos on these another time.
  • I’m becoming pretty good at taking self portraits with my phone.

I’d also like to point out that my mo has significantly changed how I am perceived in public. People yield their place to me when I buy groceries. Women cast sidelong glances at me, clearly considering how they can best approach me (none have actually approached me yet, but I consider that a technicality). My children obey me, often after I have asked them only two or three times.

The mo has power.

Do me a favor and help me in my Movember quest: Donate here. Together, we’ll fight cancer, through the medium of growing embarrassing facial hair.

The Mos of Team Fatty

I am, of course, not the only Team Fatty member growing a Mo. In fact, there are currently 116 of us. Here are photos — along with my sparkling commentary — of a few of us.

200911130845.jpgAlex S

Alex says, of his mo, “Being a single college student, I am, by definition, always on the look out for attractive women. So far this year has been relatively fruitless.”

“Enter the Mo.”

“After I started growing the ’stache, pretty girls seem to be popping up like pinch flats in a rock garden. Needless to say, Mo isn’t high on most girls attractiveness scales (there have been studies… it’s science). But it’s alright, I hate cancer enough not to care that the Mo is messin with my game (we’ll pretend I have one), though I have devised a brilliant plan for after November. It involves a stick on Mo and some patience, think of it as a fishing lure….”

Fatty’s Remarks: Alex’s mo, after two weeks, has approximately the same density, length, and darkness I get with my daily 5:00 shadow. I salute his efforts, however, and would like to offer him the following advice: grow a mo that is more clearly ironic. Currently, your mo lacks levity and makes you look a little bit like a sad porn star. Which I guess could be seen as a good thing, in some circles. But not in others.

200911130852.jpgRobert A

Robert is a man of few words, saying simply, “Here is my mo pic – taken by my 3-year-old, of all people!”

Fatty’s Remarks: Robert’s 3-yr-old is a pretty darned talented photographer and has taken a really nice photo of Robert. Further, Robert earns brownie points by wearing his new Fat Cyclist jersey for his photo.

Regarding Robert’s mo itself, the pedestrian “Original Tom Selleck mo in infancy” style of the upper portion is offset by the soul patch / flavasava below. Unfortunately, Robert’s soul patch is not quite symmetrical, with the upward slope of the right side (viewer’s POV) being considerably more gradual than the left side. I understand Robert’s dilemma in this respect, however. Constant trimming of a mo for symmetry’s sake can often lead to eventual complete de-mo-ization of the hair in question. It’s a conundrum, it is.

SeanMo111209.jpgSean Y

Says Sean of his Mo, “Yeah, I know I look like Morgan Spurlock now… but in fact he was part of my mo’ style inspiration.”

Fatty’s Remarks: Actually, I had no idea who Morgan Spurlock is until I searched on his name, and then I said, “Oh, the Supersize Me guy.”

And now I know who Morgan Spurlock is, but I contend that you look nothing like him. However, I will say that when I first saw your photo, I did say, “Holy smokes! Kevin Spacey’s joined Team Fatty and is growing a mo!”

With regards to your actual mo, I applaud the shape and length, but am going to recommend Rogaine to help you with density.

But back to the Kevin Spacey thing. Seriously, check out this photo of Kevin Spacey side by side with you. To augment the likeness, I have added your mo to his photo.


Separated at birth? Well, obviously.

photo(2).jpgDave B

Dave is not just a man of few words. He is a man of no words whatsoever. However, from this photo we can still learn quite a bit about him. For example:

  • We can see that his sense of irony is quite high, based on both the mo itself and the arching of his eyebrow. A word of caution on that raised eyebrow, Dave. If you keep it raised pretty much full time, eventually your forehead will have permanent wrinkles in that pattern. Trust me, I know.
  • We can see that Dave is a very short man, requiring a stepstool to get to the sink in his kitchen.
  • Based on personal experience, I’d say that Dave has about three years left ’til he radically alters his hairstyle, in the form of a combover, hair plugs, or shaving his head.
  • We can see that Dave grows mo hair every bit as thickly and quickly as I do.

Nice work, Dave.

MoHusted.jpgHenrik H

All the way from Denmark, Henrik H says, “Don’t open this picture in front of children or easily scared pets. You have been warned. I guess I’m not able to grow a proper mustache, it’s looks like I’ll end up with a crazy Joaquin Phoenix type of beard. Or perhaps a Sam Elliot, now that’s a proper mustache!”

Fatty’s Remarks: Holy smokes! Ze Frank has grown a mo and joined Team Fatty!

I mean, seriously, I didn’t honestly believe that Sean is Kevin Spacey, but Henrik is the absolute spitting image of Ze Frank. Down to the bugged-out eyes and everything.

I’m a little bit conflicted on Henrik’s mo. For one thing, it’s not a mo at all. It’s a beard. You’ve got a good canvas there, Henrik, now it’s time to begin the painting.

For another thing, I don’t know who Sam Elliott is.

stache_Charisa.jpgCharisa W

Charisa says, “I know, I know, I’m a girl so I had to have some help with my “stache” — but I think it looks pretty darn good!! I have a bit of trouble when riding my bike though — sometimes it tries to fly off my face. I’m sure you can’t relate to this, but it’s a bit frustrating!”

Fatty’s Remarks: I recommend a good strong epoxy. That will keep the mo in place. Trust me on this.

I’ll bet it’s a real pain to eat soup with that thing, though. And the aero drag has got to be a problem on race days.

Finally, you may want to consider trimming that thing. It’s getting a little bit out of control, frankly.

Otherwise, full marks. Both the color and the fluffiness of that mo are exceptional. That is a mo to be reckoned with.

PS: Happy Friday the 13th!



  1. Comment by gareth | 11.13.2009 | 11:10 am

    And a tenuous soundtrack to mo ‘bands with beards’
    from the uk

  2. Comment by Jason | 11.13.2009 | 11:12 am

    Sam Elliot:

    The Dude Abides.

  3. Comment by mark | 11.13.2009 | 11:15 am

    Seriously? You don’t know who Sam Elliott is? He may as well be the patron saint of mos.

  4. Comment by Clydesteve | 11.13.2009 | 11:19 am

    You doofs, Elden does not know who Sarn Elliot is. But I think he is is yanking Henriks’ chain over a typo.


    Freddie? Freddie, is that you?

  5. Comment by hubcityrob | 11.13.2009 | 11:20 am

    “…wearing his new Fat Cyclist jersey for his photo.” For the photo? I thought the jersey was supposed to be worn everywhere!?

    I have killed more facial hair start-ups than I can count by a simple slip of the razor. My soul patch has been corrected since this shot was taken, but I am afraid my face may be crooked.

    Robert A

  6. Comment by kdub | 11.13.2009 | 11:30 am

    Soo jealous a couple of you already have your jerseys. Impatiently waiting in Seattle. Maybe it will arrive in time for my birthday, Nov 22nd (hint, hint).

  7. Comment by Charisa | 11.13.2009 | 11:32 am

    Epoxy & trimming. Duly noted – thank you!!

  8. Comment by Abbie D | 11.13.2009 | 11:38 am

    Wait…what?! Did you say you do not know who Sam Elliott is??? “Road House”? “Mask”?

    He is quite possibly the sexiest man alive. Top 5 for sure.

    I guess I shouldn’t expect men to realize that.

  9. Comment by yeagermeister | 11.13.2009 | 11:49 am

    I have heard the Kevin Spacey comparison before. And I know it’s weak (Rogaine? Not funny!) Maybe that’s why I find the whole idea of growing the thing really funny.

    Just for that you’re not getting the prototype Clif BlokPod. Which doesn’t exist, anyway.

  10. Comment by hp | 11.13.2009 | 12:02 pm

    Your Mo makes you look downright hardnosed, like you may talk with a gravelly voice and walk with a serious swagger. Congrats on the 2 week growth!

  11. Comment by hp | 11.13.2009 | 12:03 pm

    Maybe it should be your FB and twitter avatar for the month? Just sayin.

  12. Pingback by Five for Friday | 11.13.2009 | 12:41 pm

    [...] Grow your mo with the Fat Cyclist Share and Enjoy: [...]

  13. Comment by Paul | 11.13.2009 | 1:26 pm

    1: niiiice mo Fattie!
    2: Christa your mo is awesome.
    3: love the new jersey!

  14. Comment by Lori Scheel | 11.13.2009 | 2:44 pm


    You crack me up – thanks for the best laugh of the day! I must confess that my favorite section in Bicycling magazine is the readers comments under “Mail” and well, your readers rarely dissapoint either! I love the comments ALMOST as much as the blog!

  15. Comment by Peter | 11.13.2009 | 3:00 pm

    Awesome tache :D

  16. Comment by rich | 11.13.2009 | 4:30 pm

    Got my jersey last week – they’re the awesomeness!!!!

  17. Comment by Dan T. | 11.13.2009 | 4:58 pm

    We had a moustache blog post of our own about two years ago on this link: Thanks for the reminder and the nice staches!

  18. Pingback by Movember (Bearvember), Friday The 13th – Speed Skate World- By Peter Doucet- Online Since 1999 | 11.13.2009 | 5:24 pm

    [...] The Men (and Woman) of Movember [...]

  19. Comment by Jenn | 11.13.2009 | 5:24 pm

    Hilarious post, Fatty. Needed a laugh this afternoon at work – thanks.

  20. Comment by BamaJim | 11.13.2009 | 5:33 pm

    Some nice mo’s. Hoping the new FC jersey arrives soon…

  21. Comment by Marrock | 11.13.2009 | 5:41 pm

    You guys with your little tufts of lip fuzz are so damn cute, but I still prefer my full-on ZZ Top chinwarmer and cookieduster.

  22. Comment by Lori Scheel | 11.13.2009 | 6:04 pm

    Wow…first my husband spelled your name wrong (and that was noted by an astute Fatty Fan) and now I posted with “disappoint” misspelled. I’m turning in my proofreader credentials straight away and focusing on the mo I’m growing by proxy. I never really liked the job anyway!

  23. Comment by gonfle | 11.13.2009 | 6:06 pm

    You know what? I’ve noticed that thing about moustaches as well. I go through cycles:

    1.) grow beard due to laziness
    2.) shave off beard when girlfriend complains, leaving moustache
    3.) shave off moustache when girlfriend complains
    4.) repeat.

    When palping the moustache (and only when palping the moustache) I’ve had numerous guys (and always guys) give me free movie tickets, free beers, and free upgrades. I’ve been bumped to the front of a wait list. I get served first at bars.

    I don’t know what it is. The only thing the guys doing the deferring have in common is they never have facial hair. Perhaps there is a sort of male who subconsciously defers to awesomeness? I don’t know.

    It does make me question why I don’t palp the moustache all the time. I could save a lot of money.

    Nice Mo’. And nice jerseys.

    Fatty forever!

  24. Comment by gonfle | 11.13.2009 | 6:11 pm

    Just came across this. Thought you might like:

  25. Comment by Alex | 11.13.2009 | 7:08 pm

    This has probably been mentioned before, but… I really want the new FC kit. Like, REALLY want. Are there going to be extras? If yes, where will they be available – the Twin 6 site, here, both? Thanks!

  26. Comment by Heather | 11.13.2009 | 7:18 pm

    Nice mos…and as always thanks for making me laugh out loud. The step stool comment was too much… :) Needed that after having a looonnnggg day. Nice way to unwind with dinner. Hae a WONDERFUL weekend!!

  27. Comment by Wine Dog | 11.13.2009 | 7:27 pm

    You’re so right about perception. I currently have a black eye. I know everyone notices it, but not one person says anything about it. (My dog head butted me.) I just want to look these people in the eye and say “Yeah, you should see the other guy.”

    Your mo looks sexifantabulous.

  28. Comment by bubba seadog | 11.13.2009 | 8:27 pm

    daughtry heard you were growing one so he shaved his..

  29. Comment by Jeff | 11.13.2009 | 11:10 pm

    Ha, and I thought I was the only one who has ever heard of Ze Frank! :o)

  30. Comment by flombe | 11.13.2009 | 11:55 pm

    Connect the dots Fatty! Hook up your Mo with your burns and you’ll really have something.

  31. Comment by R A N T W I C K | 11.14.2009 | 12:53 am

    116 Team Fatty members? Holy crap! Team Fatty Canada currently has 4 members! 4. Calling all Canadian indies who are so because they couldn’t join Team Fatty… join Team Fatty Canada… check the Movember FAQs for how to.

  32. Comment by Powerful Pete | 11.14.2009 | 8:11 am

    Nice Mos. What more needs to be said.

    Maybe I should grow mine, as one of the members of Team Fatty Italia. Hehehe…

  33. Comment by chrisb | 11.14.2009 | 7:13 pm

    My new jersey’s and windbreaker were on my doorstep when I got home today! Yay! They look awesome. I immediately went for a ride to try them out. Photo’s to follow!

  34. Comment by Nancy | 11.14.2009 | 10:29 pm

    Henrik’s eyes are moving. Seriously. It’s weird.

  35. Comment by Chris in San Diego | 11.14.2009 | 11:04 pm

    I wore my new FC jersey today on the Coast… VERY nice! Alas, not allowed to grow a sweet ’stash as I’m in the military…

  36. Comment by Mark | 11.15.2009 | 12:01 am

    Fatty, you look like an absolute bad-arse with that mo. Glorious!

  37. Comment by Janneke | 11.15.2009 | 3:21 am

    Check out this for a MO!



  38. Comment by Deb. | 11.15.2009 | 7:32 pm

    wow, I am wiping the laugh tears from my eyes. Fatty, you are absolutely funny as hell! Nice stash!!! The dude from Denmark creeps me out.

  39. Comment by Scrod | 11.15.2009 | 9:01 pm

    Team Fatty in the Boston Globe:

  40. Comment by leroy | 11.15.2009 | 10:40 pm

    Got my jersey this weekend.

    It looks great.

    But I may have to wear it tucked in to my jeans while pedalling across the Manhattan Bridge. I heard Bike Snob was running out of things to critique and when it comes to fashion faux pas, I am nothing if not helpful.

    Oh okay, I’m not going to do that. That just wouldn’t be right.

    Kudos to Twin Six!

    There goes my plan to gain 10 pounds this winter.

  41. Comment by frilly | 11.16.2009 | 10:01 am

    Fatty, I used your method for preparing brats yesterday. The best evah! And I’m not just sayin’ that.

  42. Comment by Macdougal | 11.17.2009 | 7:21 am

    love the jersey mate!

    thanks for sharing this….


  43. Comment by fondriest312 | 11.17.2009 | 1:29 pm

    do you sing “YMCA” when you ride with that stache?

  44. Comment by leon | 11.21.2009 | 8:28 am

    Awesome ’stache Fatty! All I can do is stand in awe at you guys ’cause I couldn’t grow a mustache if my life depended on it.

  45. Comment by Forrest | 11.21.2009 | 10:37 am

    Here’s another mo for you and your team.



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