My Race Plan is as Meticulous as it is Perfect

04.29.2010 | 1:01 am

The awesome thing about doing a race for the first time is that you don’t have to worry about whether you’ve beaten your personal best. You’re just there, hoping to complete. Oh sure, maybe you’ve got a particular finish time in mind, but it’s really just a number you picked because people kept asking you for a number.

That’s how I am about the St. George Ironman this Saturday. When pressed, I say 15 hours is my finish time goal. But I would be perfectly happy with a 16:59.59. In fact, that would be a kind of awesome finish time.

So, as you would expect, I have really thought this race through. Every little detail.

And now, I will share my excruciatingly ingenious Ironman race plan with you.

The Swim

I am very, very scared of the swim part of the race. First, because I have no real experience with open water swimming. And second, because I have no real experience with open water swimming while thousands of people with very strong legs try to kick me in the head.

So, I plan to tread water for a minute or so after the gun goes off, letting anxious, faster swimmers get well ahead of me, so I won’t be in their way and I won’t get a concussion.

After that, I will swim with one goal and one goal only: finish before the time cutoff.

Oh, and finish with enough energy to do the rest of the race. So I guess that’s two goals.

The Bike

Provided I finish the swim in time, I plan to slowly change into my bike stuff. Which means I’m being dishonest with myself right now; there’s no way I won’t do this change in a blind panic.

Still, panic or no, I plan to eat something while I change. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich and about 16oz of energy drink sounds about right.

Then the bike ride begins.

There’s been a lot of speculation about what kind of bike I will ride. And by “a lot of speculation,” I of course mean that two or three people have posed the question in the comments section here.

I’ll be riding my beloved Orbea Orca outfitted with Shimano Di2 and carbon tubeless wheels, with no TT-specific modifications — no aero clips, no deep dish wheels, nothing like that. I’m going to ride the bike I love the way I love to ride it. I figure that any theoretical advantage a different, more aero setup would provide is more than offset by my total ineptness at using any of these things.

I’m sure I’ll be the only one out on the course who’s inept at using aero bars and has trouble with deep wheels in a hard wind, though. Right?

I’ll start the ride with a couple bottles of CarboRocket and — since the weather is supposed to be on the cool side (high of 67 – 69), I don’t expect I’ll have to refill more than once. For that, I’ll use whatever they’ve got at aid stations — water, weak Gatorade, whatever.

For food, I’ll be eating Clif bars (White Chocolate and Macadamia Nut) and Clif Shot Bloks (the new Tropical Punch flavor is awesome). I also plan to have a Subway Cold Cut Combo stashed in my bag for about halfway through the ride.

White bread. Extra mayo. Extra extra extra mayo.

I will also chant, over to myself, “rein it in, fat boy. Rein it in. You’ve got a marathon to do after this.”

Whether I am successful in keeping my jets cool will, I’m pretty sure, determine whether I’m able to do any running at all.

Sometime during this ride, I expect to pass The Runner, who will probably have started the ride about 5 – 10 minutes ahead of me.

When I pass her, I plan to grab her butt, albeit briefly. I believe such contact is explicitly allowed for by the race rules.

My objective for the bike portion is to do it in as close to seven hours as possible. If I’m much slower, it’s been a windy day. If I’m much faster, I’ve done a bad job of keeping my promise to myself to save something for the marathon.

The Run

When I finish the bike ride, I will change very slowly. I will eat. I will put on running shorts. I will probably wear my LiveStrong shirt for this portion of the event.

And then, I plan to run the first two miles, then take a one minute walking break.

After which, I will take a one minute walking break after each mile run.

Until after the halfway point, at which time I will re-evaluate and may begin taking a minute walking break after each half-mile.

And for the final five miles, I may well just revert to walking. It’s a very likely possibility. In fact, let’s go ahead and call it a probability.

Also, I will drink a little bit at each aid station. And I will eat three Shot Bloks every half-hour.

Sometime during this walk-run exercise / torture, The Runner will almost certainly catch me. We have agreed that if she catches me with fewer than five miles left to go, we will try to finish together. If she catches me with more miles to go than that, she should give me a friendly punch to the left kidney as she goes by. I will then collapse in a friendly heap.

I think 5.5 hours is a reasonable guess for a finishing time for me. So: 2+7+5.5=14.5 hours. with a total of half an hour in aid stations, that’s fifteen hours.

Ta da.

Reality Check

I should point out that I have no idea what I’m talking about. I think that my absolutely safest prediction for the race — the prediction that will almost certainly come true — is that everything will happen differently than I have predicted above.

I’m betting that I’ll have a good story to tell on Monday.

PS: If you’re going to be in St. George and want to get together at the pre-race dinner or something, email me.

PPS: If you’d like to follow me live during the race this Saturday, I’m racer #1607. There should be live coverage on

PPPS: Wish The Runner and me luck, OK?


  1. Comment by Ingrid Arling | 04.29.2010 | 1:22 am

    Go Fatty and Runner!!! I’v done some triathlons myself (Quarters). Good luck with running after the bike-part. I didn’t not now how to run anymore.

    By the way, my Fatty-gear gets great response in the Netherlands. They all love it. I’m proud to wear it.

  2. Comment by Bicycle Bill | 04.29.2010 | 1:45 am

    Good luck Fatty!! And stay away from the brats.
    I’ll be eagerly waiting to read your story — or maybe you could let the Runner be a guest blogger for one day and let her post *her* version of your story…..

    And after you’ve scratched “do a triathlon” off of your bucket list, what’s next? Skydiving?

  3. Comment by Russ | 04.29.2010 | 1:52 am

    Go get ‘em, Fatty! You and The Runner will do great. Best wishes for a personal best.

  4. Comment by Christa | 04.29.2010 | 2:35 am

    You have the food part all planned, and that’s the important part, right?

    Good luck to you both!

  5. Comment by Tim | 04.29.2010 | 3:18 am

    Good luck with the race, both of you !!!!

    But…. shouldn’t you do the biking part on a MTB ??? Or is that against the rules ?

  6. Comment by bykjunkie | 04.29.2010 | 3:40 am

    OH…I am so looking forward to reading about it all on Monday! Good luck to you and the Runner. My money is on the Runner crossing the finish 27min ahead of you.

  7. Comment by Max | 04.29.2010 | 3:45 am

    Good luck with it, mate!

  8. Comment by Kate | 04.29.2010 | 4:08 am

    Good luck! I think you’re crazy in a remarkably awesome way and I’m looking forward to reading about it on Monday.

  9. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 04.29.2010 | 4:13 am

    I’d rather follow the runner what’s her number?

  10. Comment by Jenn | 04.29.2010 | 4:16 am

    The first part of this post made me picture you starting the swim in your bike helmet which, while funny, might not be a bad idea. In any event, super good luck to you both! I look forward to hearing the stories afterward!

  11. Comment by Al | 04.29.2010 | 4:30 am

    Very very best of luck, man. Looking forward to the story and I will certainly be watching out for you online.

  12. Comment by kr | 04.29.2010 | 5:03 am

    Good luck Fatty and Runner!

    Unsolicted advice here – Having swum in cold waters before, know that you are gonna be seriously cold coming outta that water with frozen hands and feet. Give them some love and circulation (those little instant hot pack things are awesome) before you head out on the bike. You will also be good and lightheaded – have some fun with that!

    Can’t wait to hear all about both of your successes!

  13. Comment by eandjmum | 04.29.2010 | 5:23 am

    Fatty – you da man – go hard
    The Runner – you go girl!!!!!! Run his arse off!!!!!

  14. Comment by WheelDancer | 04.29.2010 | 5:23 am

    Good luck to you both!

  15. Comment by Mandy | 04.29.2010 | 5:25 am

    Good luck Fatty and The Runner – I will be tracking you and cheering you on! Hey, I think she should grab your butt when she catches you on the run. Just saying.

  16. Comment by Ethan | 04.29.2010 | 5:27 am

    Take lots and lots (really) of ibuprofen.

  17. Comment by Claire | 04.29.2010 | 5:40 am

    Good luck Mr and Mrs Fatty :)

  18. Comment by Terry in Indiana | 04.29.2010 | 5:40 am

    I’m totally in pain for you already, but also in awe and with great admiration!!! Lots of luck and may the wind be at your back! Can’t wait to hear your war stories next week!

  19. Comment by Pedalpink | 04.29.2010 | 5:56 am

    We’ll be doing the Calvin’s 12 Hour Challenge on Saturday on the tandem, which means that I (the stoker) will be able to check your progress on my iPhone. We’ll be wearing our Team Fatty jerseys and cheering for you and The Runner. Good luck, Elden. Can’t wait to hear the story on Monday.
    (I’m worried about the mayo if it is a hot day)

  20. Comment by skippy | 04.29.2010 | 6:09 am

    AID STATION PERSONNEL reading this should note that 1607 will need your help! Jumping into the water last will mean that all the drinks & food will be gone unless you set aside a supply, you will want to read about your “kindness” won’t you?
    Pictured a m/bike crash hat rather than bike helmet for tackling the swim as the competitive spirit will kick in no matter how “fatty” tries to rein in ego!
    Leaner,wiser Fatty posting on monday, hopefully satisfied with his success!

  21. Comment by Richard | 04.29.2010 | 6:11 am

    Smart move on riding the bike as is.

    Good luck.

  22. Comment by Bashzilla | 04.29.2010 | 6:14 am

    Good luck Fatty & Runner! I’m looking forward to the race stories!

  23. Comment by Pollock-Nelson | 04.29.2010 | 6:46 am

    Hey, good luck….stay away from the Caffeine!!!!!

  24. Comment by Kim | 04.29.2010 | 7:00 am

    Good luck!

  25. Comment by James | 04.29.2010 | 7:00 am

    You’re what, 90? Tackling an Ironman at that age is quite ambitious. I hope your femurs don’t shatter like glass candlesticks on the run.

    Also, good luck. Try not to start writing the race report until after you finish.

  26. Comment by Graydon | 04.29.2010 | 7:04 am

    Good Luck Fatty and the Runner! I really enjoy reading your blog so when you fall in a friendly heap post kindny punch, make sure not to hurt your hands so we can hear all about it on Monday.

  27. Comment by Carly | 04.29.2010 | 7:06 am

    Give-r Fatty!
    Don’t be scared of the swim, you’ll be fine. Just repeat that over and over in your head amongst the thrashing feet. And remember to come up and catch your breath if you feel like you are starting to panic. It will pass!
    Can’t wait to hear your post-race recap.
    Good luck to you and the Runner!

  28. Comment by Janice in GA | 04.29.2010 | 7:07 am

    Good luck, best wishes, have fun and don’t get hurt! To both of ya. :)

  29. Comment by BuzzLiteBoy | 04.29.2010 | 7:10 am

    Good luck to you both.

  30. Comment by Bryan | 04.29.2010 | 7:20 am

    Go, go, go! I will be looking for some words of inspiration as my first TRI of the season is next Saturday. Mind you, it isnt of the Iron Man variety… Get some picks in the wet suit after the swim as black is slimming and you probably have lost at least 3lbs! LOL
    Good luck to you and the Runner!

  31. Comment by Russ | 04.29.2010 | 7:24 am

    Good luck Fatty, good luck Runner. Have fun.

  32. Comment by oneeye101 | 04.29.2010 | 7:24 am

    You really are inspirational, and make me think that I too can someday attempt something like this! Good luck to you both.

  33. Comment by Lizzylou | 04.29.2010 | 7:29 am

    Make sure to go before you leave! There won’t always be an outhouse when you need it.

  34. Comment by Greg | 04.29.2010 | 7:34 am

    Good luck Fatty and The Runner!! I hope the weather holds out perfectly for the two of you. Have a great time!

  35. Comment by TimRides | 04.29.2010 | 7:38 am


  36. Comment by Robert | 04.29.2010 | 7:40 am

    The Fatty nation is behind you for both you and the runner!

    Go get ‘em!!

  37. Comment by Jantine | 04.29.2010 | 7:42 am

    BEST OF LUCK! Don’t kill yourselves!

  38. Comment by amy | 04.29.2010 | 7:45 am

    Listen for them playing Bittersweet Symphony before the race starts, and listen as you come down the finish chute so you can hear Mike Reilly tell you that you’re an Ironman (I missed it my first time).

    And pee on the bike. Seriously saves time, not having to stop. (Also pee during the swim. I’ve been assured that you can pee on the run, too, but I’ve never done that successfully. Basically, you should be peeing at any given time. But never in a portapotty.)

    And let the changing tent volunteers help you. They’ll dump out your stuff and offer it all to you one by one, which is great when you have zero brain activity.

    And don’t give yourself too many options in your special needs bags. Again with the zero brain activity.. it’s overwhelming and just makes you sit there staring in an indecisive panic.

    That’s all I’ve got. I hope you both have a fantastic, fun race, and I look forward to the race report.

  39. Comment by Mellow Velo | 04.29.2010 | 7:48 am

    When my dad was running marathons, I used to think it was the most horrible, awful thing a person could do. Then he started running 35 mile trail runs in the freezing cold, and I thought that was the most horrible, awful thing a person could do. Then I learned about Ironman triathlons. They are unfathomable. You have my deepest … wishes for success. Especially regarding your bowel. Seriously – get your poop right and you’ll be fine.


  40. Comment by Midge | 04.29.2010 | 7:53 am

    Good luck to you both!

  41. Comment by mandi | 04.29.2010 | 7:59 am

    Best wishes Fatty & Runner… You don’t know it, but I live vicariously through you both! Can’t wait for Monday’s post.

  42. Comment by The Right Honorable Rev. Sphyncter | 04.29.2010 | 7:59 am

    Let us pray for the integrity of Fatty’s orifices: may they not go into failure mode, especially with all the goddamned food he is planning on eating. Peace be with you. Oh, and @amy: “finish chute”. I think we can do without that kind of language, thank you.

  43. Comment by MattC | 04.29.2010 | 8:06 am

    Fatty….what with your intense and incredibly detailed training plan, how can this possibly go bad? I’ll have my fingers crossed for you to just finish, with no permenant damage. We know you are quite stubborn and won’t give up, but you also have to know when to say when if things don’t go according to your awesome plan. Be safe! Both of you!

  44. Comment by Michele | 04.29.2010 | 8:24 am

    Don’t hang back too long at the swim start… you want to draft. My husband (bike racer turned triathlete) describes it as “an ice-water crit.” Find a pack you can stay with for as long as possible.

    Best of luck!!

  45. Comment by Jen | 04.29.2010 | 8:25 am

    Good Luck

  46. Comment by Steve | 04.29.2010 | 8:28 am

    Good luck, Fatty!!! You guys will rock it.

  47. Comment by UpNorth | 04.29.2010 | 8:29 am

    Good luck – I hope it goes better & more smoothly than you hoped for.

  48. Comment by Heather | 04.29.2010 | 8:40 am

    Good luck to both you and the Runner! Have fun and enjoy the experience! I will be doing my first Ironman in Cozumel in Nov (warm water!) so I am eagerly awaiting your race report, and the Runner’s if you can get her to do one too!

    Go Get ‘em Fatty!

  49. Comment by GenghisKhan | 04.29.2010 | 8:42 am

    Sounds like you are kinda shootin’ from the hip on this one, but good luck nevertheless. ;o)

    P.S. Be sure of your target on the run/walk-by buttock squeeze. Years ago a co-worker of mine was snorkling on her honeymoon, swam up from underneath her new husband and “yanked his chain”–’course, as you already anticipated, it wasn’t her husband…

  50. Comment by BurkeInTheOzarks | 04.29.2010 | 8:50 am

    Best of luck to you both. Personally, I think you are mentally unhinged for even attempting this kind of thing at your (my) age. Maybe I’m just jealous that you somehow find the time to train and compete at this level. I struggle to find time to ride my local trail a few times a week!

  51. Comment by bikemike | 04.29.2010 | 8:50 am


  52. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 04.29.2010 | 8:51 am

    LOL great pre-race post. Best of luck to both of you. And most of all, I hope you enjoy yourself.

    Can’t wait for the post-race report!

  53. Comment by randall | 04.29.2010 | 9:13 am

    That’s it. You’ve talked me into it. I’m in,…

  54. Comment by fult23 | 04.29.2010 | 9:14 am

    Best of luck to Fatty and the Runner! You two will do great. I cannot wait for the post-race entries.

  55. Comment by axel in texas | 04.29.2010 | 9:19 am

    I predict that you will beat 15 hours.
    You will not take 7 hours on the bike.
    you will finish the bike ride with enough time to walk the whole marathon and still make it before the cutoff.
    walking is a perfectly fine way to spend a good portion of the marathon.
    good luck, eat well, be relaxed…

  56. Comment by randy | 04.29.2010 | 9:30 am

    The run – walk routine is a good plan. My girlfriend hardly trains and finishes respectable half-marathons on a run 10 minute – walk one minute schedule.

  57. Comment by Janet B | 04.29.2010 | 9:32 am

    Good luck to you both!

  58. Comment by Clair | 04.29.2010 | 9:42 am

    Good luck to both of you. And try to have some fun along the way.

  59. Comment by OldManUtah | 04.29.2010 | 9:44 am

    Good Luck Runner and Fatty!!! Enjoy the day!!

  60. Comment by Mark in Boise | 04.29.2010 | 9:47 am

    Good luck to you and the runner. I cannot imagine doing an Ironman. Ugh, water scares me too. You should have checked this one out, it looks easier to me: Best of luck, I look forward to reading the write up.

  61. Comment by Jim Tolar | 04.29.2010 | 9:56 am


    You’ve done some foolish things before, but this is right up there at the top. Good luck and Good Racing to you and the Runner. If I were wearing a hat right now, I’d be taking it off to you.


  62. Comment by Randoboy | 04.29.2010 | 9:56 am

    While a brief butt-grab is allowed, a prolonged “fondle” would constitute drafting.

    Good luck!

  63. Comment by Jeffy | 04.29.2010 | 9:56 am

    I’m impressed – good luck on the weather and swim! Jeffy

  64. Comment by briebecca | 04.29.2010 | 9:59 am

    Best of luck to you and the Runner. Hope she kicks your butt but not too much that it’s demoralizing.. LOL.

  65. Comment by Tina Z | 04.29.2010 | 10:05 am

    I can’t wait to hear about it next week, good luck!

  66. Comment by Waterman981 | 04.29.2010 | 10:07 am

    It looks like Universal Sports will also be streaming coverage of the Ironman starting at 8:30 am.

  67. Comment by Anonymous | 04.29.2010 | 10:15 am

    Good luck to Fatty & The Runner! You’ll be great!

  68. Comment by Lars Larson | 04.29.2010 | 10:16 am

    Please read THIS. As a veteran of doing an Ironman (Wisconsin 2006) well before I was ready to do one…like you…take this one piece of advice:

    SIGHT REGULARLY when doing the swim. I think your idea of waiting for one or two minutes is good, but if you don’t look up to sight as often as every 12-20 strokes what will happen is that you will swim off line and find yourself getting discouraged way too often, not to mention swimming much farther than you need to. This will cause you to wait longer and longer to get your head back down to swim and make progress again.

    I don’t know what the rules are in St. George, but a 2 hour swim plus 10 minutes in T1, plus a 7 hour ride adds up to nearly not making the T2 cutoff of 10hr30min. It would be a real shame for Fat Cyclist to DNF at Ironman because he didn’t RIDE fast enough. Watch out of that.

  69. Comment by Denise Brooks | 04.29.2010 | 10:18 am

    You CAN do this. Good luck to you and the runner.

  70. Comment by You're really nuts | 04.29.2010 | 10:22 am

    Good luck and have fun in the torture chamber!

  71. Comment by GJ Jackie | 04.29.2010 | 10:26 am

    Relax, enjoy, love life. Good luck!

  72. Comment by Todd | 04.29.2010 | 10:30 am

    Good luck you two!

  73. Comment by RyanT | 04.29.2010 | 10:30 am

    I have always wondered why Triathletes put aero bars on their road bikes as if they will miraculously become Tri-bikes. There is a difference. A road bike with an aero bar is just scary. Good luck

  74. Comment by Road Divit | 04.29.2010 | 10:33 am

    socks before shorts – your feet slide into your shorts really nicley instead of a wet foot getting stuck and you end up falling over, naked.

    On any century ride I always carry a small can of diet coke. One, I’m addicted. Two, caffien tastes great cold. Three, people get jealous. Four, I’m addicted.

  75. Comment by Meredith | 04.29.2010 | 10:37 am

    Good luck to you and the Runner! You both will do awesome in St. George! Just attempting an Ironman is a heroic feat, but I suspect you will make the swim cut off and nail your 15 hour goal!

    Can’t wait to read your race report!

  76. Comment by KanyonKris | 04.29.2010 | 10:37 am

    Good luck. Will you be Iron Fatty after this?

  77. Comment by Whitney | 04.29.2010 | 10:38 am

    Good luck to the both of you! I know you’ll finish, I believe! Try to get some rest the day before, ok?

  78. Comment by Jayne Adams | 04.29.2010 | 10:48 am

    Good luck to both of you!!! Can’t wait to hear the tale of St. George!!

  79. Comment by RyanP in SLC | 04.29.2010 | 10:50 am

    Want some great new albums to jam to on your ipod during the race? I humbly suggest some personal favorites I like when I’m out on long rides:
    1. Them Crooked Vultures – self titled album
    2. Kings of Leon (all albums, especially “Only by the Night”
    3. The Gaslight Anthem – “The ‘59 Sound”
    4. The Kooks – “Inside In/Inside Out”
    5. Pinback – “Autumn of the Seraphs”

    All the best to you and The Runner!

  80. Comment by michwea | 04.29.2010 | 10:54 am

    Best of luck on the race Fatty. Word of advice…that Subway Cold Cut combo with the extra, extra mayo? Make sure you stash an ice pack in your bag along with that sandwich. 69ish is cool, but not that cool. You don’t want a repeat of the brat debacle now, do you?

    I’ll be rooting for you!

  81. Comment by Roses | 04.29.2010 | 10:54 am

    Good Luck!

  82. Comment by Dan in Sac | 04.29.2010 | 11:08 am

    Godspeed to you both!

  83. Comment by George | 04.29.2010 | 11:19 am

    go get ‘em fatty best of luck to you..

  84. Comment by Chris B | 04.29.2010 | 11:29 am

    Good luck Fatista’s. I’ll be doing the Grizzly Peak Cyclist Century on Sunday (I full FC gear of course), here in the sunny Bay Area. So I’ll think of you while doing 1/3 of the work that you are!


  85. Comment by BrewCityChris | 04.29.2010 | 11:30 am

    You may want to rethink the Extra Extra Extra Mayo after last weekends RAWROD adventure!

    Good Luck to you and the Runner

  86. Comment by frankie | 04.29.2010 | 11:50 am

    Yay! Go Fatty, and go Runner! Y’all are inspirations.

  87. Comment by EdLark | 04.29.2010 | 12:09 pm

    Good Luck Fatty & Runner!!

    Ironman = seriously crazy a$$ed s@#t! Big props to you both.

  88. Comment by eclecticdeb | 04.29.2010 | 12:11 pm


    You’re probably going to bonk HARD on the run, with horrible, horrible cramps. Salt will be your friend.

    Remember to eat. Especially if you aren’t hungry.

    Good luck. I’ve done lot’s of tri’s…never an IM though. I’m crazy, not stupid. :-)

  89. Comment by Debora | 04.29.2010 | 12:15 pm

    Good Luck to you both!!!! Really looking forward to Monday’s post!!!

  90. Comment by melicious | 04.29.2010 | 12:29 pm

    Best of luck to you and The Runner. Ironman is an amazing spectacle of human ability and of physical and mental toughness. Have fun, be strong, thank the volunteers. And have fun (it bears repeating). Can’t wait for the report!

  91. Comment by Abby | 04.29.2010 | 12:29 pm

    Good luck, guys! And yeah – watch the mayo!

  92. Comment by centurion | 04.29.2010 | 12:41 pm

    Good luck, and a tailwind, to you both.
    May you have an angel on your shoulder.

  93. Comment by grammeejill | 04.29.2010 | 12:43 pm

    Go for it, Fatty! Be strobg, stay strong… then after cry like a baby! You deserve it. Can’t wait for your probably hilarious recap. Good luck to you and the runner! You guys have about 800 times for guts than I do to tackle Ironman!

  94. Comment by Greg @ Greg Rides Trails | 04.29.2010 | 12:52 pm

    Good luck guys, I hope you DOMINATE it!

  95. Comment by Susannah | 04.29.2010 | 1:04 pm

    Good luck Fatty and Runner!

    Sunday is my first Triathlon, and like a smart person I skipped the whole Sprint distance and moved straight to the Olympic. So with very little to no previous swimming, biking, running experience I have trained and will compete on Sunday. Your blogs have been perfectly timed for the emotional roller coaster that I’ve been on. Can’t wait to share the pain on Monday. Good luck to you both!

  96. Comment by Keenedge | 04.29.2010 | 1:28 pm

    Good Luck to you Both! I like the Iron Fatty monicker. Maybe a vinegrette on the cold cut combo instead of the extra,extra mayo. Another explosive diarrhea story so close together might be hard to stomach.Looking forward to the recap. Enjoy the race. Or should I say finishing the race.

  97. Comment by fat dadoo | 04.29.2010 | 1:31 pm

    good luck.
    may you both be blessed with a pre-event mighty movement.
    looking forward to the update, whenever it posts.
    stay strong.

  98. Comment by Wes | 04.29.2010 | 1:33 pm

    Good luck out there. No matter what happens, keep smiling. It makes everything better.


    p.s. don’t drown.

  99. Comment by Charisa | 04.29.2010 | 1:35 pm

    Rock on Fatty – you will be great! Good luck to you and the runner, we will be cheering from Wildflower!

  100. Comment by NoTrail | 04.29.2010 | 1:35 pm

    Dear Fatty,

    You are awesome.

    Sincerely, NoTrail

    P.S. – Thanks for the smile on my face.

  101. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 04.29.2010 | 1:43 pm

    Good luck to both of you! You are going to rock the Ironman! Go Fatty and the Runner!

  102. Comment by NYCCarlos | 04.29.2010 | 2:00 pm

    Good Luck buddy! Make sure you kill it! :)

  103. Comment by Dr. Brett | 04.29.2010 | 2:07 pm

    Good luck to you both, and remember: “DFL” is bettern than “DNF”!

  104. Comment by Michelle from Utica | 04.29.2010 | 2:25 pm

    Good Luck Fatty and the Runner! I wish you both speed and safety and most importantly fun!

  105. Comment by Dr Bryce | 04.29.2010 | 2:29 pm

    Good Luck Fatty!

    I’ve got a new endurance supplement for you to test after the Ironman! You’ll be amazed as other Triathletes have been.

    Enjoy your day! Allez Fatty

  106. Comment by Clydesteve | 04.29.2010 | 2:34 pm

    Good luck! Nice plan on the bike pass – I heartily approve.

    I just got a book!?! in my 100 Miles of Nowhere race packet – possibly a refugee from a remainder sale. It has a secret word in the first chapter that guarantees sucess. Wanna know what it is?

  107. Comment by ollyoop | 04.29.2010 | 2:39 pm

    Good luck to both of you!

    Tips for the swim – start on the outside/edge of the pack, it’s much less tumultuous ;) Also, I’d recommend using vaseline or glidestick stuff on the back of your neck and around your shoulders (if you have an open shoulder wetsuit).

    Another great thing about drafting in swimmimg is that you can draft the person beside you as well as the one in front…


  108. Comment by Liz | 04.29.2010 | 2:42 pm

    Good luck to both of you! I haven’t read all the comments, but I have two kids who swim a lot of open water events, and my one (unsolicited) piece of advice would be to make sure you lift your head regularly to make sure you’re still on course. You can lose a ton of time by veering off course, and we all know you don’t want to swim any farther than you have to!

  109. Comment by Weaky6 | 04.29.2010 | 3:35 pm

    S U C K A!!!
    oops. What I meant was, go get em! A full tri is insane and lovely all at once. Good luck brother.

  110. Comment by GearGeek | 04.29.2010 | 3:44 pm

    Don’t use Vaseline on the wetsuit, the petroleum breaks it down. Use Body Glide.

  111. Comment by RJD | 04.29.2010 | 3:48 pm

    It is going to be fabulous! Better a little too cold than a little too hot! Good luck, will be checking the websites for your progress while I’m at work. :-(

  112. Comment by Lauren | 04.29.2010 | 3:55 pm

    Fatty – you are my fav. I will be down there cheering on my friends and will give a holler if I see you! GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!

  113. Comment by Stephanie | 04.29.2010 | 4:24 pm

    GOOD LUCK!!! quick swim advice. start in the back and to the outside. stay on the outside of the pack for as long as you feel is necessary (i usually stay out for the first 1/4 mile or so), then start inching in toward the marker buoys. This way, you swim at YOUR pace, and you dont get kicked.

    i’ve learned that two types of people start in the front of the line and on the inside:
    people who think they’re pros, but probably shouldn’t be competing in the first place. they burn out quick, and just kick you in the face.

    outside is the key. promise

  114. Comment by Megkathleen | 04.29.2010 | 4:41 pm

    Good luck! I’m so excited for you – I wish I could come and cheer. I will miss reading about your training for it though. It has been quite entertaining.

  115. Comment by janey | 04.29.2010 | 4:53 pm

    I’m bettin’ that Subway Italian Combo’s gonna come right back up somewhere before you hit mile 2 of that run.

  116. Comment by Alyson | 04.29.2010 | 5:04 pm

    You guys ROCK & a total inspiration!! Good luck!!

  117. Comment by Roman | 04.29.2010 | 5:15 pm

    The best and only advice I could give you (not that you are asking or anything Fatty) but for heaven’s sake don’t dilly-dally in T2 (second transition).

    You may find the chairs too comfortable, the food too good, the tiredness too much to want to go out again and run a marathon.

    Have fun and race safe!

  118. Comment by leroy | 04.29.2010 | 5:24 pm

    Good luck!

    I find that if I screw the top off my water bottle, fill it with Carbo Rocket and garnish with a little paper umbrella, it is a refreshing conversation starter on long rides.

    You should try it.

  119. Comment by karen | 04.29.2010 | 6:02 pm

    You can always use Jens Voigt’s comment at the tour down under when asked what he says to himself when his legs start hurting.

    “Shut up legs”…

    Good Luck

  120. Comment by kentucky joe | 04.29.2010 | 6:48 pm

    good luck to you both, of course I think your totally insane but I am in awe!

  121. Comment by Marla Gnarla | 04.29.2010 | 6:55 pm

    Good luck to the both of you. Will try to catch some of it online after work!

  122. Comment by Jo | 04.29.2010 | 6:57 pm

    Good Luck- I hope it is at least a little bit fun!

  123. Comment by DeeDee | 04.29.2010 | 6:59 pm

    Have a great race. It was fun to see you and to briefly meet Lisa. We will be at the finish line cheering you and the rest of the athletes on Saturday night.

  124. Comment by Nahh | 04.29.2010 | 7:28 pm

    Good luck!– and Shot Bloks are the best! Gotta love those things.

  125. Comment by Yukon19 | 04.29.2010 | 7:46 pm

    Good luck to you both! On the plus side I think when you wake up two days after the finish of the event you are allowed to eat anything you want!

  126. Comment by kaf | 04.29.2010 | 7:56 pm

    Good luck to both of you! Can’t wait for the recap on Monday.

  127. Comment by Celeste | 04.29.2010 | 8:22 pm

    Yay! I’m excited for you.

    The only part of your plan I’d tweak is to throw in the POSSIBILITY that you may find some feet to draft on the swim. As you noted during your “scientific experiment,” the benefits of drafting in water are HUGE. You may find someone for a good portion of the swim, you may not, but it’s something to keep a lookout for. So don’t hang TOO far back.

    Good luck to both of you!!!

  128. Comment by Geb Souhan | 04.29.2010 | 8:28 pm

    Good Luck to both of you.

  129. Comment by BamaJim | 04.29.2010 | 8:38 pm

    Best of luck, I expect you’ll both do well. The race plan looks strangely rational, other than the sub sandwich.

  130. Comment by Alex | 04.29.2010 | 9:09 pm

    Sounds like you have the exact same swim plan that I used for Ironman Florida several years ago. I stood on the beach for about 30 seconds, watched the mass of bodies churning up the surf, said “this is the craziest thing I’ve ever done” out loud, and went for it.

    If they have warm/hot chicken broth at the run aid stations, take a cup of that plus a cup of water, and mix half and half. Cools off the hot broth, and tastes like heaven. That’s what got me from aid station to aid station in the second half of the marathon!

    GOOD LUCK! Crossing that finish line is worth the journey. And the journey is worth the finish. Or something.

    P.S. – Got my 100 Miles of Nowhere package today. Pretty freakin’ sweet.

  131. Comment by Carl | 04.29.2010 | 9:35 pm

    Good luck to you both.

  132. Comment by Davo | 04.29.2010 | 9:59 pm

    Listen to me brother. Don’t worry or overthink during the event. Relax and enjoy it. I’ve spent too many events fretting about heat, distance, etc. Enjoy the day….

  133. Comment by VA Biker | 04.29.2010 | 10:29 pm

    Elden and The Runner, good luck to you both, though I’m thinking Fatty needs the luck portion more. I hope you make TC’s along the way. It really would stink not to finish based on that!

  134. Comment by Stephanie | 04.29.2010 | 10:32 pm

    Best of luck to you both!

  135. Comment by ChefJT | 04.29.2010 | 10:44 pm

    Have a great time, be safe on the road and finish with all the body parts you started with!

  136. Comment by Kathleen@ForgingAhead | 04.29.2010 | 11:21 pm

    Good luck! Lars is right about sighting on the swim – definitely do that. Shot Bloks rock -I’m a fan of dark cherry. Yum. Have a great race and be safe!

  137. Comment by Vicky | 04.29.2010 | 11:27 pm

    good luck! =)

  138. Comment by AK Chick | 04.30.2010 | 12:08 am

    Good luck you two! Can’t wait to read about it next week. :) And how come you didn’t give us The Runner’s number so we can track her? I protest!

  139. Comment by Debbie in Memphis | 04.30.2010 | 12:28 am

    Good Luck to you both!! I can hardly wait to hear all the details :-)

  140. Comment by Neil | 04.30.2010 | 3:46 am

    Good luck to you both! My money is on you Fatty, no pressure.

  141. Comment by Pia | 04.30.2010 | 6:08 am

    Good luck to you both! I’m looking forward to your race report.

  142. Comment by Shiny Flu | 04.30.2010 | 7:24 am

    YOU CAN DO IT! Good luck guys.

  143. Comment by SYJ | 04.30.2010 | 7:25 am

    Good luck, Runner and Fatty.

    In school, after a particularly rough exam, my classmates and I would try to cheer each other by reminding ourselves that “C’s Get Degrees”. The corollary here is that finishing the tri need only happen within the time limit for you to be officially declared (over booming loudspeakers for all around you to hear), an Ironman (and Ironwoman).

    You’ll rock it!

  144. Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 04.30.2010 | 7:46 am

    Amy Amy Amy you are suggesting that Fatty breaks a rule written by the Gods. Nobody pees on an Orbea and lives. However the rest of your pee advice sounds spot on.

    Posted early forgot to wish the Fatties good luck so Good Luck Fatties. That done – now can we know the Runner’s number as well? With that information we might be able to spot the moment your left kidney packs it in for the day.

  145. Comment by Chuck | 04.30.2010 | 1:38 pm

    Yo Fattie, Let us know how that Subway tucked in you Special Needs bag! Good luck to both of you!! I am going to IM Arizona in November, so I can share you suffer-fest stories.

  146. Comment by Toby | 04.30.2010 | 1:47 pm

    Good luck to the both of you!! You can do it!!

  147. Comment by Robbo | 04.30.2010 | 6:18 pm

    Crazy kids. Knock ‘em dead. ;)

  148. Comment by Velojew | 04.30.2010 | 10:05 pm

    Do it fatty!

  149. Comment by MikeL | 05.1.2010 | 8:51 pm

    They did it. 13:34:02 for Fatty and the Runner.


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