100 Miles of Nowhere: Best Looking 49-Year Old Guy in Form-Fitting Lycra Category

05.12.2010 | 8:30 am

OK. We did it. Neither of us have ever done a century. I came close 23 years ago, but haven’t done anything close to that since. It took us just over 8 hours of riding, with a peppering of breaks in between. We rode the flattest, least windy place we could think of in San Diego: the jogging path around Lake Miramar.  


The path is almost 5 miles around, so we did twenty laps starting at 5:45 in the morning. After a couple of laps, however, Randy’s GPS told us that the loop was not, in fact, 5 miles, but approximately 4.85 miles around so, on our last lap, we threw in some loops-de-loops and a little back-tracking so that we could finish the ride at the end of a lap.

Lake Miramar is noted for the waterfowl that think they own the place and large number of exercisers that use the lake on weekends.  


From 5:45am to 8:30 or so, the ride was quite pleasant: cool and quiet. From 9am to 11am, the riding was hazardous. Runners think they own the road and run right in the middle, or even cut the corners. Bicyclists go way too fast. In-line skaters zigzag back and forth all over the place. Of course, the little kids on their bikes haven’t learned the rules of the road and wander unpredictably all over. We saw a fellow biker crash and probably break his collarbone around 11am. Fire rescue showed up to haul him away.

After lunch, the crowds dissipated but the wind picked up. We also had the pleasure of watching an amphibious car drive into the Lake, tool around for awhile, then drive right out.  


That was pretty cool.

The last couple of laps were pretty hard on both of us. We ached everywhere despite the large dosed of Motrin that we both took as preventive medicine. Randy’s legs were bothering him. My wrists were killing me. My wife and son came out to welcome us across the finish line. They also rode a few laps with us. One of my neighbors came out and rode a few laps earlier in the day. At the end of the race, we toasted the event with Gatorade (Joe on left; Randy on right).


I got home around 5pm and collapsed right on the living room floor. It took everything I had to crawl into the shower before dinner. Yes, we will be doing this again next year! I should take the 50+ lycra category hands down.

– Joe F


100 KM of Nowhere, Snailwatching-Women-in-Munich-Division

05.12.2010 | 8:00 am

A Note from Fatty: I have been loving reading all these 100 Miles of Nowhere race reports — it feels like I’m at a really awesome family reunion. Today there’ll be more reports, with the blog updating pretty much every hour.

You know what else these reports have done for me? Get me totally energized about ramping up my fundraising efforts for the fight against cancer. You people inspire me. Thank you.

I’m a 100 pounds overweight true fat cyclist, and yesterday I did something I never did before: I raced 100 km. The longest I ever cycled before was 76 km. Once. I’m proud.

And I won the Snailwatching-women-in-Munich-Division of the 100 Miles of Nowhere.

My race was so boring that my adventure of the day was the following:

  1. On my first round a grapewine snail blocked my path and I just managed not to run over it.
  2. On my second round I was prepared and rode a wide arc around it.
  3. On my third round I forgot about it and just missed it by an inch.
  4. On my fourth round somebody else had run over it. At least I didn’t do it.  

RIP grapevine snail.

By the last round it was only a spot on the road, and nothing really happend in between. And I managed not to die of boredom.

Can’t wait to hear more interesting stories!


– Biene

100 Miles of Nowhere, Daddy-Daughter Division

05.11.2010 | 4:01 pm

I’m happy to report I am the repeat winner of the “my neighborhood” 100 MoN. The course was a 1.6 mile loop, which is pretty flat, and potentially fast, but the wind and my focus on not overtraining took care of the speed.

My daughter joined me for 30 miles of the ride, as shown in the attached photo – her longest ride to date.


Oddly, no neighbors asked what was going on.

We did run into our Pastor on Friday night, however, and when my wife explained what I was going to do he became very excited – he had apparently been looking for a sermon illustration relating to people who work very hard but never get anywhere because they lack direction.

Overall, more fun than this should be – thanks for organizing the event.

– Jim T., sometimes posting as BamaJim

PS: That’s it for today. Check back tomorrow for hourly updates from 100 Miles of Nowhere racers! — FC

100 Miles of Nowhere: Tandem on a Trainer Division

05.11.2010 | 3:00 pm

This year we looked outside at the 35+ mph winds and decided that we’d rather ride the tandem on the trainer in the garage. In honor of IronFatty and IronRunner, we decided to ride our 100 miles as a tribute to the triathlon disciplines of swim-bike-run.

Or, in order of the movies we watched, bike-run-swim. We tapped out the first 33 miles to the movie “Ride the Divide,” about the world’s toughest mountain bike race. One of our awesome 100MoN items (thanks TwinSix!) was a certificate to view this film on May 8th. The people associated with the film hope to raise at least $100,000 for LiveStrong. We really enjoyed this film as the riders pedaled the 2700 miles along the Great Divide from Banff, Canada to the Mexican border. It was hard to watch riders reaching their limits and abandoning the race. And it was great to see others push on to the end, especially the first women finisher. We highly recommend watching this film!

With the bike portion done, we started “Run For Your Life,” the story of the New York Marathon and Fred Lebow. I was particularly touched toward the end, when Fred at age 60 already living on borrowed time after his diagnosis of brain cancer finishes the race for the fist time (he’d directed it for years and thus hadn’t raced in it) … accompanied the entire way by Grete Waitz (nine time NY marathon winner). Just like Elden and Lisa at Ironman St George, they crossed the finish line together.

Next, the swim. There are not many swim movies. We chose “On a Clear Day,” about a redundant shipyard worker who attempts to swim the English Channel and tackles his personal demons in the process.

So another 100 Miles of Nowhere completed! Thank you again, Elden, for helping us to remember what is important and why we fight. I continue to be inspired by your words to “Fight with focus, creativity, outrageous endurance, and kindness.” Mike and I will be raising money again this year for Livestrong, and we will be joining Philly Jenn in Philadelphia.

And we will ride again next year for the fourth annual 100 Miles of Nowhere.

– Jacqueline C.

Untitled 31

05.11.2010 | 2:30 pm

I had never ridden a 100 miles before. Neither had my wife. Something we were rather proud of actually. I have done some 6 hour mountain bike races and 12 hour team races so the 100 miles at my own pace wasn’t too much of a daunting task. However, I wasn’t too fired up about riding 100 miles inside in the spring so following the lead of St. Louis locals Team Seagal from a few years ago and I mapped out a 4 mile loop which I could repeat 25 times.

This route went around Lone Wolf Coffee Co, in Ballwin, MO. It headed east down the ever popular Clayton Rd. bike lane and then west through a quiet neighborhood which featured several rollers. The route around Lone Wolf was key to my success in this event due to their outstanding support of me during this event with platter full of wonderfully tasty granola bars and fresh roasted coffee.

Preparation for an event like this is key. First, I asked my wife, The Pro (she’s a Professional Engineer), if she wanted to ride with me in an unofficial capacity. She agreed even though she was unhappy I didn’t sign her up to race officially. After she finally calmed down about not getting a t-shirt we then set Friday May 7th as our race date because we needed to honor some family commitments on the official race date of May 8th.


The night before I did the normal pre-ride checks including a quick recable on The Pro’s bike, cleaning my bike, mixing up my packets of Carb Rocket and putting beer on ice. Also, heeding Fatty’s recent I checked The Pro’s cycling cleats to make sure they were tight after I had checked my cleats. I also noted that we too could compete in an Ironman because we apparently (by Fatty’s own fake statistics) have the two most popular tri bike brands: Trek and Cervelo. Road bikes not tri bikes, not that there is anything wrong with tri bikes.

Race day. We arrived at our start to see nobody around except The Pro and I. Despite the lack of prerace ceremonies we started our ride. We had a strong tail wind as we headed east down Clayton which turned out to be a good thing. We also enjoyed the full use of the bike lane on Clayton Rd. The turn south off Clayton we encountered our first city limit sprint, which I handily won. I ended up taking 20 out of 25 in total.


The turn east meant a head wind, but it was reduced due to the homes, rolling hills, and big trees we passed on Claymount. Next a short trip on Kehrs Mill and we back to the start. 4 miles down, 125 ft of climbing complete. 24 more laps to go!

10 laps into the race our fans came out steal our tasty tray of granola bars from Lone Wolf Coffee. Each one of our fans said they would ride with us, but came all up with multiple excuses as to why they couldn’t. One said he had to meet his boss later in the day. The others are self employed and don’t have bosses. One spouted some babble about growing “O” sports in St. Louis. The other whimpered about taking care of his wife who had the flu and his kids. The final one said he was racing the next day and Friday was his rest day because his coach told him to rest.

The 50 mile mark was a big milestone because after that the Pro and I were in a rhythm. Ride 5 laps, stop and get some food and drinks, get going again. We did encounter a few folks who live in the neighborhood. When I asked them if they were going also participating in Fatty’s 100 Miles of Nowhere they all got mad because they thought I said, “You are fat and are pedaling nowhere.”

Other than that is was business as usual for the final 50 miles except for the tree trimming crew who started to give us dirty looks the 10th time we passed their tree trimming operation. By the time we passed them a 12th time they FINALLY offered a friendly wave hello.

End of the day came and we officially finished with 101 miles in 5 hr 51 min of pedaling with 35 minutes of stoppage time and my first century complete.


Thank goodness for Lone Wolf Coffee Co’s support of the Pro and me for this event.

– James N

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