Tour de Donut: A Perfect Storm of Riding, Eating, and Cancer Fighting

07.1.2010 | 1:01 pm

201007011226.jpg In some alternate universe, those of us with a fondness for empty calories rule the peloton, because — in this magical alternate universe — those empty calories make us faster. The complicated relationship we have — in this universe — with pastry simply doesn’t exist, because in that (much better) universe, the more donuts you eat, the faster you ride. The better you do in races.

And on July 17, I will spend a day in that universe.

Because that’s when I’ll be riding the Rotary Club of American Fork’s Tour de Donut — presented by One on One Marketing and powered by

Yep, that’s right. I’m an official promoter of the event. And not just because I’m a beloved sports blog personality. I’m promoting it because I simply cannot imagine a more awesome combination of three things I love. Specifically:

  • Riding: The Utah Tour de Donut is a three-lap road race around a seven-mile course in American Fork Utah. I like the fact that it’s not a long course. I like the fact that it’s not a steep course. I like the fact that if I get lost on the course I’ll probably still find my way home.
  • 201007011223.jpgEating: At the beginning of each of the three laps, you have the opportunity to eat as many donuts as you want (i.e., can stand). Each donut you eat knocks three minutes off your time. The winner each year has finished with a negative amount of time. I expect to do well in this race, but I do not expect to win. The guy to the right — Regan Fackrell (his real name) — is the returning champion, and frankly I don’t think I have a prayer, because Regan actually trains for the event, using techniques champion food-eating contest pros use. Still: I can try, darnit.
  • Cancer Fighting: In addition to local projects, this year — at my request — the Utah Tour de Donut will be benefitting LiveStrong.

201007011301.jpg I don’t know if I’ll ride the beach cruiser tandem with The Runner, ride solo, or ride a tandem with alternating twins. I see benefits with all possibilities. In any case, this is going to be a silly, fun, puketastic race that will also do a lot of good. I’m really excited to be part of it.

And I’d like you to be part of it with me.

How You Can Participate, Even If You’re Not a Local

The most awesome way you can be part of the Utah Tour de Donut is to come ride it with me. But taking a quick glance at my reader stats, I see I have quite a few more readers in Australia than I do in Utah, and — sadly — I expect most of you aren’t going to make the trip.

But you can still participate, through the medium of donating to the cause, in exchange for which I will do your bidding. Here’s how it will work:

  • If you donate $10, I will loudly (as in “shouting at the top of my lungs”) proclaim — before eating a donut — that I am eating it on your behalf. You can do multiples of $10, too. If you want to get really specific about which lap you want me to eat your donut, just say. If I get way more donations for this, I will delegate some of the eating to The Runner, The Swimmer (we’re currently trying to persuade The Swimmer to ride tandem with The Runner) or to one of the twins. But I’ll still do the shouting.
  • If you donate $50, I will write your name (or short phrase of your choosing), in a Sharpie color of your choosing on a visible place on my body or — if I run out of room on my body — jersey. So in a way, you’ll be riding with me. And I promise to try not to throw up on your name.
  • $If you donate $100, I will write your name (or short phrase of your choosing) in Sharpie on a place of your choosing. Yes, that can include on the top of my head, on my (awesome) quads, or on my face. I have no shame.

To participate with me this way, go to the Tour de Donut site and click the Donate button down toward the bottom-left of the page. When you get your email receipt, forward it on to me (my email address is “”) with instructions on what to do.

If You ARE a Local, Come Ride With Me

If you do happen to live in the area, head on over to the Tour de Donut Registration Page, where you can get details about the race. Register as a family, solo, or a tandem. Or if you’d like to come join the fun but aren’t in the mood to compete, why don’t you volunteer?

And please, wear your Fat Cyclist jersey (or t-shirt, whatever) if you’ve got one. Trust me, this is one occasion where nobody’s going to question what it means.


  1. Comment by bobble | 07.1.2010 | 1:06 pm

    Damn it I guess it’s Krispy Kremes for lunch today.

  2. Comment by Melissa | 07.1.2010 | 1:40 pm

    PUKETASTIC ?!? Love it!

    Good luck.

  3. Comment by Mikeonhisbike | 07.1.2010 | 1:45 pm

    That’s like the perfect storm for cycling.

  4. Comment by chtrich | 07.1.2010 | 1:52 pm

    Why do they keep scheduling this on the weekend I’m out of town. For the last two years it’s been on the second Saturday in July. I’m finally in town this year on the second Saturday in July and they go and move it to the third Saturday….in which I’ll be out of town. ARGH!

    Good luck to you and your family Fatty. I think it sounds like a fantastic event!

  5. Comment by DCNewbie | 07.1.2010 | 1:58 pm

    How is this event not national in scope? I would surely participate in the Tour de Donut DC!

  6. Comment by Beth B | 07.1.2010 | 2:06 pm

    Looks like a TON of fun. :-) Good luck. I’m in for a donation.

  7. Comment by NYCCarlos | 07.1.2010 | 2:21 pm

    omg… cannot wait for the pictures/videos.

  8. Comment by bikemike | 07.1.2010 | 2:57 pm

    I would kill in this event, if it didn’t kill me first.

  9. Comment by christine | 07.1.2010 | 3:10 pm

    Rats, this would be the SECOND tour de donuts i can’t participate in.

    The first is hosted by my alma mater:

  10. Comment by KanyonKris | 07.1.2010 | 3:37 pm

    Those ARE empty calories, just look at the cyclist in the Tour de Donut image.

  11. Comment by Outdoorgrrl | 07.1.2010 | 3:40 pm

    Wow…just wow…[shakes head]…

    You’ve done a lot of great things for cycling and raising money for cancer research, but I’d really encourage you to re-think your support of this ride.

    Foods high in saturated fat and trans fat are consistently associated with high cancer rates. When you add the carcinogenic potential of heated and overcooked oils (which usually contain trans fats) delivered in doughnuts and fries with the powerful cancer-inducing properties of carbohydrates cooked at high heat, you create a powerful cancer potion.

    Ride your bike, support anti-cancer rides, but please DON’T support a ride that advocates consuming foods known to CAUSE cancer.

  12. Comment by mark | 07.1.2010 | 4:00 pm

    Outdoorgrrl: seriously? It’s one day a year. Lighten up.

  13. Comment by Lindsey | 07.1.2010 | 4:05 pm

    I agree with Mark.

  14. Comment by brian | 07.1.2010 | 4:05 pm

    Yeah what outdoorgrrl said.

    Oh yeah, and the sun causes cancer (that’s proven not just a supposition like doughnuts)so you better not sponsor anything where there might be sun. Oh and polluted air causes cancer so you better not sponsor anything in a metropolitan area.

    In fact we’d better all go hide in the dark in bomb shelters to avoid radiation and eat only organic health foods to make sure we don’t get exposed to anything that might possibly cause cancer.

    Glad to see you as a sponsor of this event I think it fits perfectly with your zany approach to things – I almost commented a while ago to make sure you knew about it.

  15. Comment by Outdoorgrrl | 07.1.2010 | 4:12 pm

    Well, we should certainly wear sunscreen. And yes, we should focus our diets on eating foods that prevent, not cause cancer. It’s one of the biggest factors in getting the disease. I’m shocked that y’all don’t get that.

  16. Comment by Penina | 07.1.2010 | 4:18 pm

    Is there a “Reversal of Fortunes” rule???

  17. Comment by Penina | 07.1.2010 | 4:21 pm

    “Take 3 minutes off your time for each donut you keep down.”

    Guess there’s my answer to the “Reversal of Fortune”…

  18. Comment by brian | 07.1.2010 | 4:27 pm

    According to the biggest risk factors for cancer are (
    Lack of Physical Activity
    Unsafe Sex
    Sun Exposure

    According to the national cancer institute (
    Chemical / Environment

    Food (They list: A chemical in vegetables, artificial sweeteners, and cooked meats) – boycotting vegetables to avoid cancer – now there’s something I could go for!



    Infectious Agents



    Weight & Physical Activity

  19. Comment by Outdoorgrrl | 07.1.2010 | 4:52 pm hardly seems like an authoritative source for cancer risk. Here are a few peer-reviewed articles you may find interesting:

    Saturated fat contributes to elevated cholesterol levels and several cancers:

    Kesteloot H, Lesaffre E, Joossens JV. Dairy fat, saturated animal fat, and cancer risk. Prev Med. 1991 Mar;20(2):226-36.

    Sugar and white flour products are not nutritionally inert, simply adding a few extra calories to the diet – they are harmful. Devoid of fiber and stripped of vital nutrients, these refined foods promote diabetes, cardiovascular disease, and cancer:

    Barclay AW, Petocz P, McMillan-Price J, et al. Glycemic index, glycemic load, and chronic disease risk–a meta-analysis of observational studies. Am J Clin Nutr. 2008 Mar;87(3):627-37.

    Sieri S, Krogh V, Berrino F, et al. Dietary glycemic load and index and risk of coronary heart disease in a large italian cohort: the EPICOR study. Arch Intern Med. 2010 Apr 12;170(7):640-7.

    Pisani P. Hyper-insulinaemia and cancer, meta-analyses of epidemiological studies. Arch Physiol Biochem. 2008 Feb;114(1):63-70.

    Acrylamides lead to genetic mutation and consequently cancers:

    Konings EJ, Baars AJ, van Klaveren JD, et al. Acylamide exposure from foods of the Dutch population and an assessment of the consequent risks. Food Chem Toxicol 2003; 41(11):1569-1387.

  20. Comment by Philly Jen | 07.1.2010 | 5:00 pm

    I gotta plug “It’s Not About the Hole,” Steve Friedman’s account of the Donut Derby here in Trexlertown, PA, which appeared in the September 2007 issue of Bicycling magazine.

    Mmmmmmmmm, donut…

  21. Pingback by Promotes Utah Tour de Donut | | 07.1.2010 | 5:59 pm

    [...] Yes, you read correctly – Elden Tanner – a.k.a. Fat Cyclist blogging at is promoting the Utah Tour de Donut! You have to read his post. [...]

  22. Comment by Bee | 07.1.2010 | 6:16 pm

    If Philly Jen is doing a donut derby in PA, I might have to talk my husband into going to do that event with me. This sounds like the most awesome event ever. And while I cannot get to Utah, I’m seriously considering registering in this category for the Next 100 Miles to Nowhere.

    I’m completely inspired. I think I will honor the event by taking a ride on that day, and eating a donut before hand.

  23. Comment by Demonic1 | 07.1.2010 | 6:30 pm

    If I had $100
    I’d have you write- on your upper lip in place of a mustache-
    “Dunkin’ Doughnuts”

  24. Comment by Tim | 07.1.2010 | 8:29 pm

    You need to add your “coupon code” to the post. the Tour site is promoting entering it. How can you get all the credit for getting folks to the site if you don’t have a coupon? You’re missing a “blog personality” opportunity….

  25. Comment by Judy | 07.1.2010 | 8:41 pm

    Anyone else notice that Depends in now sponsoring Fatty’s Blog (huge ad at the top of the page)? I guess they could help on a really long ride if finding a bush on the side of the road is just too difficult.

  26. Comment by Kyle (AKA slowcyclist) | 07.1.2010 | 9:04 pm

    This is just awesome. I now wish take I lived in Utah. That and the fact that I am still wearing tights and rain gear to ride up here in the NW.

  27. Comment by HeidiR | 07.1.2010 | 9:10 pm

    This gives a whole new meaning to a sweeeeet ride! Sorry, couldn’t resist. Mmmmmmm, donuts….

  28. Comment by Jenn | 07.1.2010 | 11:20 pm

    I just copied and emailed the first paragraph of this post to my husband, with the subject line: “THIS is why I love Fatty!” And I do. Great post, great idea for a great cause. I shall donate now. And then maybe go find some donuts.

  29. Comment by buckythedonkey | 07.2.2010 | 12:46 am

    Tandem + alternating twins + rear facing camera. Please!

  30. Comment by Pedalpink | 07.2.2010 | 6:37 am

    When did you get a beach cruiser tandem … and why have we not yet seen photo’s? I’ve been wanting to see you and The Runner on a tandem but alternating twins is also “epic” (dread how often I’ll be using that word by end of Versus coverage of la tour).

  31. Comment by Babs | 07.2.2010 | 7:46 am

    Judy, Depends is not sponsoring MY page! It must be one of those “personalized” ads based on your recent searches. Just sayin’…

  32. Comment by Tina Z | 07.2.2010 | 7:52 am

    This is awesome!!! But come on outdoorgrrl, these studies aren’t definitive and only state that high saturated fat consumption can be cancer promoting and there is a probable link, but not for everyone across all consumption levels. That’s a very different thing than saying it “causes cancer”. And much of the data are self-reported and show links between excessive consumption and disease. One ride does not equal excessive consumption and citing academic studies does not turn a probabilistic correlation into a universal truth.

  33. Comment by Dan | 07.2.2010 | 8:05 am

    I’m going to be there. I’m bringing my whole family – I’ll be pulling my six and two year old boys in a trailer. My eight year old is excited to do a lap or so, and I got a T-shirt for my wife to wear while she chears us on. I will, of course, be wearing fatcyclist garb.

  34. Comment by Sandra | 07.2.2010 | 8:15 am

    At first read, I thought “alternating twins”? Would The Runner go for this? And then, I remembered you have your own twins. And they’re like eight. So maybe not quite the image I had in my head.

    Awesome idea Fatty! Wish I hadn’t been so eager to sign up for that dumb half marathon on that date because this is more up my alley. Can’t wait for the report.

  35. Comment by kccycle | 07.2.2010 | 9:05 am

    Gotta plug the St. Louis/So Ill Tour de Donut. 7-10-10. Staunton comes out with cowbells to cheer the riders along.

  36. Comment by Waterlilykari | 07.2.2010 | 9:59 am

    Hey, there Fatty!I just spotted a FatCyclist jersey out here in California!

  37. Comment by AndyH | 07.2.2010 | 10:36 am

    I wouldn’t hide in a dark bomb shelter. Probably Radon down there….

  38. Comment by T Foster | 07.2.2010 | 11:03 am

    Outdoorgrrl makes me think…I wonder if cops get cancer more than the general population?

  39. Comment by Jodi | 07.2.2010 | 11:04 am

    @Sandra – HA!!!!!!! Too funny.

    Good luck Elden – take the twins. Can’t imagine a more fun daddy-daughters date.

  40. Comment by Haven (KT) | 07.2.2010 | 11:09 am

    Man, that’s awesome. I’d donate but I’ve been told I need to spend my $$ on our house we’re building.

    I can’t wait to see the pictures!!!! If Team Fatty steps up like they usually do, you’re going to be covered in writing and shouting a lot. Make sure to make the twins be the stokers so you can rest!

    And regarding the debate on consumption of donuts/sat fats/etc and Fatty’s sponsorship of this event: I agree with Tina Z. Most of those studies are looking at excessive consumption, over a period of time greater than one day. Eating a bunch of donuts on one day isn’t going to immediately give you cancer, especially if you normally eat a proper healthy diet and exercise regularly. Which I’m guessing most of us do, here.

  41. Comment by Clydesteve | 07.2.2010 | 11:46 am

    I am pretty sure Elden and Livestrong would not support the Tour de Tobacco or anything, but, seriously, some realistic (as opposed to hysterialistic) perspective is in order.

    Here’s mine: This looks like the most awesome race ever! I need to find out if there is one closer to where I live.

    Fatty: Please chew the donuts I sponsor thoroughly. Taste them, enjoy them. I would feel bad if you choked trying to ramrod my donuts. I love donuts.

  42. Comment by Regan Fackrell | 07.2.2010 | 12:27 pm

    I call you out fatty!!

    I will be there an in good form. Going for 31 donuts. The training will begin tomorrow (going on a carribean cruise, on which I will make Carnival wish they never marketed to me).

    See you at the starting line!!!

  43. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 07.2.2010 | 12:47 pm

    Clydesteve, maybe we need to get Top Pot donuts on board for our own race in Seattle……I smell the maple bars already.

    As far as the trans fat issue….all of my fellow Oncology staff just plowed through 4lbs of Sees candy the other day. Oh No!!!!! All things in moderation is my watch word. Life without donuts would be a sad state indeed.

    Fatty, have a maple bar for me! And would love to see the alternating twins.

  44. Comment by Martin | 07.2.2010 | 1:05 pm

    Strange idea, using toxic food as a concept to raise money to fight a disease caused in part by it… We can only be in the USA…

  45. Comment by Kosmo | 07.2.2010 | 1:47 pm

    il come from Norway, but only if i can make my teammates eat the donuts:-)

  46. Comment by Rodneeds2Ride | 07.2.2010 | 9:39 pm

    Fatty, you are CLASSIC! Love it!

    Outdoorgrrl, the Tour de Donut is a fun race.

    The absurdity of eating donuts(the bane of any well-intentioned diet and training regimen. Don’t ask how I know.) and having a shot at winning the race due to your gluttony is FUN.

    It’s also a fundraiser. A fundraiser that will do it’s small part to help move cancer research forward.

    It’s one day a year. I think it’s a good idea to mix it up a little.

    To those who can’t make it due to the date change from previous years, it is very likely they will be going back to the 2nd weekend in July next year and be a part of Steel Days again.

    Thanks again Fatty!

  47. Comment by Dan O | 07.2.2010 | 10:27 pm

    Looks like a wacky, fun ride (burp).

  48. Comment by gertrude | 07.3.2010 | 8:21 am

    Hi Everyone,
    just want to share that I’m leaving for the TdF in 15 minutes. Yes I am real Rotterdam-girl and the tour is getting on the way now!
    Lance will be cheered on from start to finish (a bit different in France I guess….)yesterday he visited a local hospital, very impressive. As a survivor myself I get the shivers seeing and experiencing the way Lance keeps on his own track both with the cycling and with the fight.
    I will give an extra cheer on behalf of all of you.

  49. Comment by Fat Guy on a Bike | 07.3.2010 | 10:47 am

    The Tour de Donut sounds like a great time. I would end up losing whatever I ate along the way though.

  50. Comment by Albert | 07.3.2010 | 4:53 pm

    “Fighting” cancer while supporting the eating of donuts is IDIOTIC! Cancer can not grow in an Alkaline environment in the body. This event is only promoting cancer.

  51. Comment by RonH | 07.4.2010 | 5:08 am

    Lot’s of fun. My personal goal has always been a 0:00 time

  52. Comment by icebiker3 | 07.4.2010 | 2:07 pm

    Dough-naughts. Why can’t anyone spell this correctly?

    Chocolate covered, cream-filled, deep fried Bismarks. *My keyboard is now slimy with drool*

    Outdoorgrrl needs to get a life.

    Wish I lived closer, Fatty. You should try and make it to our Beer Belly Run. It used to include real beer until the health nuts came along. 2k. Good Fun.

  53. Comment by Cycling Jersey | 07.4.2010 | 4:08 pm

    Wow this looks great – I wish they had something like this in NYC

  54. Comment by roan | 07.4.2010 | 4:51 pm

    Fatty, great spread this post, Q. has anyone achieved a negative time for the 3 laps(using Philly Jens’ reference article…DAT…Doughnut Adjusted Time) ?
    If so would a sub 0.00 time be metric time ?
    Would a kick-back of say…$3.00/doughnut(= to 3 minutes) be allowed. Maybe not because that would ‘flavor’ those with plenty of dough, in other word a dough-naught(thks icebiker3). Hummm…a dough-naught hole(container) donation on each table ?
    About 40 years ago on a canoe trip with every turn in the river we rewarded ourselves with nilla-wafers. I’ve not had one since ! Donuts…that is crul(ler).
    I believe endorphins trump cancer and cycling=endophrins.

  55. Comment by MrDaveyGie | 07.4.2010 | 8:16 pm

    Dang, I wish I was close by, I am good for a dozen donuts.

  56. Comment by Greg | 07.4.2010 | 8:59 pm

    I saw you at the Subway in Wellington today. You looked busy with your kid (I assume your kid) so I just left you alone without so much as even a thumbs up and smile. Peace bro, I hope you had a nice weekend.

  57. Comment by judi | 07.5.2010 | 10:32 am

    puketastic is my new favorite word.

  58. Comment by blackfrogracer | 07.5.2010 | 11:58 am


    I so happy that youve given up your tirade.

    1st) everything in moderation, one day living in donut overload is not going to harm any body.

    2nd) Live a little, your toooo tight

    3rd) My 4% body fat cant wait to meet miss maple bar, mmmmmmm donut.

  59. Comment by rICK | 07.5.2010 | 11:51 pm

    Found this about u in cycling news forums :

  60. Comment by Lindsay | 07.6.2010 | 5:03 pm

    LOVE it!!!

  61. Comment by Camille | 07.8.2010 | 12:50 pm

    I’ll be there! The pastry has always been a part of my life – almost like an evil twin – so it will be nice to reunite once again for a good cause! I’ve even convinced the family to join! Loved your post :)

  62. Comment by Gary | 07.8.2010 | 3:59 pm

    Just signed up to ride this great event. See you there fatty!

  63. Comment by Kate | 07.9.2010 | 3:10 pm

    Sweet! I’m riding in the original TDD (Staunton, IL) for the second time tomorrow. If last year’s numbers hold fairly steady and I manage to eat 14 donuts, I’ll take first in my division. Riding off 14 donuts might take me the rest of the year, so I’d darn well better place.

    Have fun!

  64. Comment by Dave Coorts | 07.12.2010 | 5:54 am

    I just finished The Tour de Donut – Staunton, IL this past weekend (July 10th) and was fortunate enough to place 10th overall out of 1238 riders, after time adjustments for donuts eaten. I magaged to consume 18 of those pastries during the 32 mile ride. For those of you considering doing this Tour de Donut-Utah, let me give you some practical advice: eat most of your donuts early in the race! I ate a dozen at the 1st stop at mile 10 and by the 2nd stop at mile 22, I only could choke down 6. I do mean choke. I witnessed several elite cyclists experiencing “Puketastic” issues after the 2nd stop. Perhaps my wife and I will come on out to Utah from the Heartland and try for another Top 10 finish. If not, good luck to all riders and enjoy the day. Ours was an absolute blast!

  65. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 07.12.2010 | 6:42 am

    I have wanted a Team Fatty women’s jersey for like 3 years now, but I have to say that the price is just a little steap for me. So, when I saw the hoodie, I was in! I will seriously be wearing that sweatshirt to work…pretty much every day. And I’m so excited to help support you and the fight against cancer.

    I love the classic Fatty design. Thanks for bringing it back – better than ever!


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