Yes, that’s right. Movember. The month where men all over the world grow a moustache (or “mo” as Australian youngsters call them, I guess), in the hopes that the following conversation will occur, several times over:
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: Um, you seem to be growing a moustache.
You: Why, yes. Yes I am. Thank you for noticing.
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: Honestly, I was trying my utmost to not notice, but I couldn’t help it. Honestly, it is the single most awful thing you could have done to your face.
You: I agree! I look both dangerous and ridiculous! My family has ceased acknowledging me, my friends will no longer ride with me, and my boss has changed my job so that I no longer meet with customers!
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: Why are you growing a moustache, then?
You: Because it’s Movember — the month formerly known as November. During this month, I adorn my ordinarily handsome face with ridiculous facial hair, for the purpose of engaging curious-yet-wary acquaintances such as yourself in a conversation such as the one we are having! And now that I’ve drawn you in with my hideous appearance, I would now like to tell you that I — along with the rest of Team Fatty — am also trying to raise awareness and money for the Movember Foundation, which in turn is funding the Prostate Cancer Foundation and LiveStrong. These are all good foundations doing important work. And I am doing my part by neglecting to shave certain parts of my face for a month.
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: Wouldn’t it be simpler to just wear a ribbon or a wristband or something?
You: Yes it would. But it would be so much less humiliating and hairy. And when’s the last time you asked someone about their ribbon or wristband?
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: 2004.
You: So, are you going to join Team Fatty and grow a moustache, thereby not only making yourself look like an out-of-work porn star?
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: Yes I am, because your case is compelling. What do I do?
You: Well, go to http://us.movember.com/mospace/700960/ to join Team Fatty. Or to donate. Either way is just fine.
Curious, yet wary acquaintance: Thank you. I will do both at my earliest opportunity. And now please excuse me while I avoid looking at your face for the rest of the month.
To the right, you will see my current Mo status.
I confess that I started my Mo last Thursday — October 28 — which is a couple of days early. I did this for two very good reasons:
- I really want my Mo to be in full bloom when I — along with the rest of Team Fatty NYC — run the NYC marathon this weekend.
- Since I had been in an actual office with actual co-workers most of the week, and had therefore been shaving every day that week, I was sick of shaving and so by today had a pretty good scruff going on and it seemed like such a waste to not get my Tallahassee (yes, I’m doing the Tallahassee again this year) started.
I fully expect my Mo to give me that extra little something — the thing that helps me keep running when all I want to do is walk. I mean, think about it. With a moustache like this, I kinda need to keep moving, wouldn’t you think?
By the way, I am happy to announce that I have been working on my drawl, and it is coming along nicely. By this Saturday, it should sound every bit as authentically western as my Tallahassee-inspired Mo looks.
Team Fatty Will Look Very Very in NYC
In the coming days, I will detail my plans — and my fears — for the NYC Marathon, but for right now, I’d just like to point out that Team Fatty NYC has been incredibly well taken-care-of by our friends at Pearl Izumi.
For one thing, we’ve been given custom running shirts (front design on the left; back design on the right):
Men’s colors are black and orange, Women’s colors are black and pink.
Here’s a closeup of the front:
But Pearl Izumi didn’t just set us up with great running shirts. No indeed. We each — all 16 of us — also got two pair of Pearl Izumi running shorts, two pair of high-end Pearl Izumi running socks (I love the way the socks are left/right specific — never have socks been so comfortable), short- and long-sleeved tech running shirts, and Pearl Izumi running shoes.
Swagtastic. Thanks tons, PI. You guys rock.
And — if I may — I’d like to say that I love these shoes. I have not been training the way I should (I’ll explain soon), but the right knee pain and left hip pain I’ve been suffering with have gone way down since I’ve switched to these shoes. I’m sticking with them from now on.
So. Everyone’s coming to cheer us on, right?