Come Ride AND EAT with Me Tomorrow at the 100 Miles of Nowhere

06.3.2011 | 11:27 am

201106030925.jpg A Note From Fatty: As I’ve mentioned before, I’m supporting and even involved in organizing the upcoming American Fork Canyon Marathon. In the next few days, I’m going to post about it again, because there’s some cool new stuff about it that I think is going to make you want to join The Runner and me on this run.

Or, you can go over to RabidRunner’s blog and read — right now — everything that I have to say about this race myself. Except she’s a much funnier and better writer than I am.

Plus she has some info about what The Runner’s going to be doing on my birthday.

Check out her blog here. Now.

And I’ll see (and talk to, apparently) you at the starting line.


The 100 Miles of Nowhere: This Weekend!

Tomorrow’s the official day of the Fourth Annual 100 Miles of Nowhere.

Of course, some of you went ahead and did it a little early, which, I’m pleased to say, is totally cool. And frankly, it wouldn’t matter very much if I thought it was cool or not anyway.

Still, I daresay that there are not many people who have used it to raise as much — or as adorably — as little Charlotte here (I’ll be posting her whole story next week):

The amount of awesomeness here is nearly too much to take.

And at least one person is using it as a wake-up call to get re-started on her exercise. A reader emailed this in:

[I] haven’t actually ridden a bike for something like 25 years. I’m fat (kinda) and old (kinda) and have pretty serious respiratory problems (recurring collapsed lung and asthma, even though I’ve never smoked). Inspired by your really great blog and by some really great guest posts, I have gone and selected my bike. I’ve already registered for 100 Miles of Nowhere and, although I’ll be NOWHERE near to 100 miles, I hope to go a little ways, at least.

Honestly, I have no illusions about myself: I’m just a goofball. I’m cool with that. But getting email like this makes me really happy that I’m a goofball with a blog in which people sometimes find a reason to go biking and maybe make their lives better.

Other folks got roped into doing this, and then made it into an awesome adventure. Check out Max’s blog post (great story, great pics) from the ride he and a friend did looping around a park in San Francisco.

Or check it out: we even got some press coverage, when Tom Wick and his team motorpaced 100 miles in the Marymoor Velodrome (I get nostalgic whenever I think of the Marymoor velodrome).

And there are other stories. Already.

And after you do your 100 miles of Nowhere, please be sure to send in your stories. I’ll post as many of them as I can throughout the week. And believe me, the week of 100 Miles of Nowhere stories is becoming one of my favorite blog traditions.

And please, allow me to wish you good luck as you ride your 100 Miles of Nowhere. I’m sure you’ll win your division.

You’re a lock, really.

Locals: Join Me Tomorrow for the 100 Miles of Nowhere at Suncrest

If, by chance, you live in Utah County or SLC or anywhere remotely near Alpine / Suncrest, may I humbly suggest you spend your tomorrow riding with me for the 100 Miles of Nowhere at Suncrest? (Even if you have not signed up for the 100 Miles of Nowhere — just make a donation at my LiveStrong Challenge page and we’ll call it good [plus you'll be entered to win my {other} Superfly 100]).

I’ve got reasons you should, and they’re compelling:

  1. PAIN: You’ll get a heck of a workout. Like 12K feet of climbing (or more) in a day’s worth of riding.
  2. BRATS: Starting around 3pm, I’m going to start grilling brats for anyone who wants them. I think it is safe to say that this is sufficient reason to show up right there.
  3. PIE: Mark Albrecht’s wife — you know, the one who’s a trained professional dessert chef — is going to also be there around 3pm, and she’s going to be bringing dessert. And while I have not presumed to tell her what she should or should not bring, it is my fervent hope that there will be pie. And if reason 2 above is good enough to make you want to come over, then this reason is doubly good enough. Seriously.
  4. SUPPORT: Steve W and his family are going to set up a table at the top of Suncrest with some Coke, water, and stuff to reward you for getting to the top, once again. (Otherwise you ought to plan on being self-supporting, with your food and drink stationed at the Park in Alpine [I've got the pavillion reserved], and buying stuff at the Chevron.) Or those of you who are Suncresters can just leave stuff at home and drop by your own kitchen to pick stuff up once in a while

Plan on showing up at the Park across from the city building in Alpine on Saturday 5:30 AM (or later — start whenever you want, really, it’s not like there are any prizes or like anyone’s keeping track or anything).

The Courses

Once you begin, you can do the 100 miles in a variety of ways:

  • Easy: Ride from the park to Westfield road, then along Westfield to the T intersection where the road goes up to Suncrest, then back again. A lap this way is about four miles long and has 200 feet of climbing per lap. Which means, over your 25 laps, you’re going to do around 5000 feet of climbing. So the “easy” route is still far from easy.
  • Hard: Ride from the park to the top of Suncrest and back. This lap is 12.5 miles and has more than 1200 feet of climbing. So, as you ride eight laps, you’ll find you’ve climbed approximately 10,000 feet in your 100 miles. Wow. The Runner will be doing the Hard course.
  • Ridiculous: Ride from the park to the top of Suncrest, then down the North side to the Chevron, and back. One lap of this is 20 miles, with 2500 feet of climbing. Which means that at the end of the day, you’ll have done five laps, 100 miles, and you will have climbed 12,500 feet. It’s my intention to do the Ridiculous course.
  • Impossible: Just do the North side of Suncrest over and over. 15 laps should give you 100 miles and 18,375 feet of climbing. Honestly, I can’t imagine doing this course. I hope someone proves me wrong and shows it is possible. Kenny?

How You’ll Report Your Progress

There will be a banner at the park pavillion. At the beginning of the day, on the bottom of the banner, write your name.

Then, every time you complete a lap, take one of the strips I’ll have printed and cut and fill that strip in with the following info:

  • Your cumulative distance
  • Your cumulative climbing
  • Your cumulative time

Then make the strip into a ring and staple it to your previous rings.

By the end of the day, you’ll have a nice souvenir of your 100 Miles of Nowhere: a chain that tells you how many laps you did, how much you climbed, how far you went, and how long it took.

I know; it’s almost too clever for words.

Oh, and bring your own GPS / bike computer, to track your progress.

Other Stuff

  • Bathrooms: There’s one at the park in Alpine, right by the pavillion we have reserved.
  • Clothes: After you finish your 100 Miles of Nowhere, you’re going to want to stick around and have a brat and some dessert, right? So you might want to bring something to change into.
  • Cash: I’m going to carry a card and plan to use it pretty much every time I get to the Chevron to buy myself a Mountain Dew. If you’re doing the Ridiculous version of the course, I recommend you do the same.
  • Food and Water: Apart from Steve’s family providing some much-needed refreshment at the top of Suncrest, your food and drink needs are your own to take care of. I recommend bringing an ice chest with what you need and leaving it at the pavillion. There is a water fountain you can refill your bottles with at the park, though.

And you know what? Even if you don’t ride all of the 100 Miles of Nowhere, you’re still welcome to come have something to eat with us afterward (from 3 – 5pm).

I do need to get a headcount of how many brats and how much other stuff to get. So please, email me if you’re coming. ASAP. Like now.

I don’t want anyone to go hungry. That would be sad.

Good luck to everyone — whether local or whereever — with your 100 Miles of Nowhere!


  1. Comment by Dave T | 06.3.2011 | 11:42 am

    Good luck tomorrow everyone.

  2. Comment by Christina | 06.3.2011 | 12:00 pm

    I’ve been waiting for this post all day, and really since I signed up. I’m wicked excited to go for it tomorrow and I wish everyone the best in going nowhere. I have loved reading the previous year’s stories and I’m proud to be part of this.

  3. Comment by Jim Tolar | 06.3.2011 | 12:11 pm

    Good luck tomorrow. We did the 2011 100 Miles to Nowhere: Dobson Ranch edition, on April 23. You can read the event report at
    and see the pics on our facebook page

    Ride hard, LiveStrong



  4. Comment by Eric L. | 06.3.2011 | 12:14 pm

    Good luck all!

    I’m sad to report the Richmond Shipyard 2.0 Division will be delayed by a week on account of promised rain tomorrow (70%) and a rotten rotten cold I picked up – probably from over-training. I caught a cold last year but miraculously kicked it the night before the 100 MON.

    I can’t wait to read all the reports though, which will keep me jazzed through the week until I can race.

    My congrats to all you race winners. Enjoy your moments on the podium – you deserve it.

    Many thanks to Fatty too for setting up a great event that none of my friends and co-workers can fathom why anyone would do.

  5. Comment by Derek | 06.3.2011 | 12:22 pm

    Fatty, you may want to clarify which park in Alpine now that the new one is finished. Are you talking the original park on Main and 100 South or the new park on 600E and 100 South?

  6. Comment by Charles | 06.3.2011 | 12:27 pm

    Thanks Fatty!

    If anyone else is doing the 100MON in the Auburn, CA area (the endurance capital of the world and start of stage 3 of the ATOC) there’s a small group doing this loop 10 times (1300+ ft of climbing per loop). We’re starting between 5:30 and 6:30. The forecast is for rain, but unless it’s bad we’re probably riding.


  7. Comment by yannb | 06.3.2011 | 12:46 pm

    Weather forecast is for rain tomorrow here in Marin County. Here’s what I sent out to our group this morning:

    “Despite the rain, we will do the ride. Let’s tough it out, think of what cancer patients go through, much worse than us riding in the rain for half a day. After all we are riding against cancer. F— the rain. And if you don’t show up after you said you would, you will have to donate $100 to my livestrong page. :-)”

    so far everyone is still in.

  8. Comment by Dave | 06.3.2011 | 1:34 pm

    I can’t wait!!!! I still need to come up with my division to make sure that I win, but I to have 100 miles to think about it tomorrow.

    Fatty, thanks for the inspration not only on the bike, but also on the fundraising trail for Livestrong.

  9. Comment by Mike Roadie | 06.3.2011 | 1:50 pm

    It’ll be about 90 degrees here tomorrow, so I may get 40 miles in, so I will do the other 60 in my dreams tonight and possibly go out for Part Deux on Sunday.

    Good luck everyone!!!

    Vegas still has me as an odd-on favorite in my division!

  10. Comment by Patrick S | 06.3.2011 | 3:37 pm

    Good luck everyone too, the sun rises at 4.44am (two thirds evil) here in Bedford, England, so I’m looking forward to the early start and knocking off them miles! The bikes ready, my gear is laid out, all I need to do now is get some sleep, why am I still online telling people about this!?

  11. Comment by Patty | 06.3.2011 | 3:54 pm

    I won’t be doing the 100 Miles to Nowhere, which disappoints me but I have a good excuse. I will be doing 3,000 miles to somewhere. I leave next week to head out with 16 other cyclists, who I have never met, to ride from San Diego, California to Virginia Beach, Virginia. All to raise money so people in Africa can have clean water. Your blog was my cycling inspiration and I will be sporting my Fat Cyclist jersey and shorts on the ride! Check out to see our progress!

  12. Comment by MattC | 06.3.2011 | 4:00 pm

    Wow Fatty….you seriously make me want to do a road-trip to Utah (maybe next year, this year is out of the question). Gosh…turn it into a big Fatty-fest next year? Think about it…could end up in just a few years time being some huge international cycling destination/event. If anybody can make that happen it’s you. And I’d show.


    (and I’d bring cookies too).

    Good luck everybody on your race! I wish you all take place first in your division (I have HUGE mental powers btw…we’ll just see how you do). You’re welcome. Be safe and no falling off the rollers or anything! I anxiously await the stories next week…agree that is one of the fav weeks in Fattyland.

  13. Comment by MattC | 06.3.2011 | 4:02 pm

    Oh, and Patty (your comment wasn’t up when I was writing mine), VERY COOL! Be safe, will surely follow your trip online! Thanks for the link!

  14. Comment by Sleepy | 06.3.2011 | 5:02 pm

    I’m getting stoked for the 100 MoN on the ~140 meter velodrome here in Boulder. I figure the first seven or eight hundred laps should be a breeze. It’s those last four hundred I’m concerned about. Good luck everyone!

  15. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 06.3.2011 | 5:08 pm

    I’ll be going nowhere fast on Thursday. I can’t wait to hear stories from those of you riding tomorrow!

  16. Comment by Paul Guyot | 06.3.2011 | 8:46 pm

    Good God, what in the name of Marco Pantani am I thinking? Tomorrow is going to be horrible.

    So, I found an absolutely perfect little loop around my ‘hood – 1.05 miles. Do that 99 times and I’m golden, right?

    Yes, there’s a bit of a climb on one end, but I figured how bad can it be? When I ride the short little ascent when returning from a ride, it’s not that bad.

    So I mapped out my OHMN route for tomorrow on ridewithgps. Yes, exactly 1.05 miles… and 104 feet of climbing.

    Ah, easy. 104 feet. That’s nothing. Let’s see… 104 times 100 equals…

    10,400 feet of climbing?!?!?!?!?

    Am I insane?

    Yes, apparently, I am. Fatty and this blog have turned the once perfectly normal doughy human I was into a blithering, masochistic, try-anything-in-the-name-of-charity psychopath.

    If I don’t die tomorrow, I will send you a link to my report.

    Oh, and I hate you.

  17. Comment by Elena | 06.4.2011 | 12:00 am

    Good luck everyone for today’s MON!
    @Fatty: I’ve been reading your blog for a while, even on Fridays, and yes, even on Saturday morning Italian time. I tried to spread the word about MON among my friends, but it was a bit late – maybe next year there’ll be an Italian MON division, who knows? Or maybe even a Chinese-Italian division, as I happen to live in that part of the world… Good luck again, amazing job you do :)

  18. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 06.4.2011 | 12:49 am

    Good luck and Happy Riding everyone. Sorry to miss the race this year. I’m on a road trip instead…..Road trip as in a car, not a bike.

    I can hardly wait for the race reports. it is so much fun to read.

  19. Comment by erin | 06.4.2011 | 5:56 am

    well, we live on guam, by the dateline so it’s nighttime here and we’re done! my husband did the full hundy, I, being 22 weeks prego equalling 55%, took a 55% deduction and only rode 45, but I was sure to rope a few other friends into “making up” my extra 55.

    we had sun, we had rain, we had gourmet pizza that I had to grill when the power went out. we never got to ride together since we alternated watching our daughter while we lapped around our neighborhood, but we still bonded over the mind numbing misery of a very short (<1mi) non-flat course.

    and we had FUN!

  20. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.4.2011 | 10:05 am

    MattC- I agree with you on a FattyFest in Utah! I would certainly come just to taste your cookies, and Fatty’s Sausage.(Wait that doesn’t sound right). Imagine Fatty’s Alpine Loop on Johannes’ African Bikes, now that would take some awesome quads, and who has those.

    Yannb-Yes it is a miserable day here in sunny(?) California, and you hit it spot on about the battle that is cancer. Good luck to your team, maybe next year, if you need another rider…

    Good Luck everyone..Go Nowhere, Have Fun, and remember to wave from the podium.

  21. Comment by Jamieson | 06.4.2011 | 10:34 am

    Kissena Velodrome in New York City tomorrow, 400m track, 403 laps.

    @Sleepy – That’s a very short track.

  22. Comment by Scott R | 06.5.2011 | 12:23 am

    Anyone know how the Leverage episode download is supposed to work for 100MoN? The email address in the instructions still bounces for me, and I was really hoping to watch the episode….

    Or does it not become available until after June 26th?

  23. Comment by salittle1 | 06.5.2011 | 10:37 am

    hey we just finished the South African leg of the 100miles of nowhere. we did it with a 14yr old girl who wanted to raise money for a local Childrens cancer charity. she blew us all away, with 18km (sorry we do that other measurement thingie) of the 160km to go, she was shattered but turned to her mom and said “quitting is not an option” AMAZING. I have asked her to do the race report and I will send it to you ASAP!

  24. Comment by Jenni | 06.5.2011 | 4:25 pm

    I’m happy to report I have won my division- the Mathmatically-challenged short-term-memory-impaired division. At least I think I did. I’m pretty sure I did.

  25. Comment by Clydesteve | 06.5.2011 | 4:56 pm

    I won! I won! Division: 125-miles-on-trainer-56-and over-men-in-Brownsville-Oregon-riding-inside-with-best-weather-of-the-year-outside.

    It was a close thing. My wife wanted a color consultation 5 miles from the fnish line.

  26. Comment by muskyhunter | 06.5.2011 | 8:40 pm

    Done! 371 laps around the block in front of my house. My Garmin GPS looks like a etch a sketch on acid. 4810′ total ascent (13′ per lap). I thought it would get boring, but I was gee=tting a lot of good right turn practice. When I firts started I was having some severe crit racing flashbacks (not the good kind). Had a few of the neighbors join me for a few laps, that part was aweome!
    Thanks Fatty for the inspiration, I’m even thinking about doing it again with friends later in the year.

  27. Comment by Jarral | 06.5.2011 | 11:13 pm

    It was a hoot and I won my division! I made loops around our small town and stopped at people’s houses who had a run in with cancer. Here’s my report.

  28. Comment by Rob in Southport | 06.6.2011 | 9:13 am

    Well, we did it. Hot (for UK, anyway !) and windy. We had three firsts in our trio: first lady in Preston (U40), first man in Preston (U40), and me as first man in Preston (U41). Also the first centuries by each of us, so all chuffed with the day. Looking forward to the interesting stories (ours was turn up, ride, collapse – not much else happened, really, apart from a few pedestrians trying to jump under our wheels from the bushes around the track). Hopefully a little extra money coming to you from sponsors, Fatty …. :o)


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