100MoN Race Report #5: NowhereMan Triathlon Edition

06.6.2011 | 3:00 pm

A Note from Fatty: Eric’s email pointing me to his story was a powerful reminder of what matters. In it he said, “My mother is in the end stages of terminal lung cancer and this was my last chance to do something like this for her when she could see it.”

Thanks, Eric, both for participating and for sharing your story (which I am shamelessly lifting from your blog, where the original version can be found). I’m sure I’m not the only one who wishes you peace and strength, and your mother a painless passage.

NowhereMan Triathlon

I signed up to do Fatty’s 100 Miles Of Nowhere. It’s 100 miles on rollers or a short course and is a fundraiser in the fight against cancer. I have a special reason for participation this year. My Mother is in the end stages of terminal lung cancer. This is the one and only time she’ll be able to see me complete this event. In that light I decided the day deserved the best effort I could give. If 100 miles on rollers is good maybe something more would be better. I settled on a triathlon. But how? I can’t swim and even if I could doing laps in the tub seemed kinda boring. But I can lift and have this humble but really cool, mostly equipped gym right at my house. Presto, the NowhereMan Triathlon was born (With all due credit and respect to Fatty for the name. Please don’t kill me).

It’s a triathlon with a twist; 100,000 pounds lifted, 10K run and 100 miles on a bicycle, all without leaving the comfort of my home gym. I planned on doing it on Saturday but wandered around the house all day Friday, thinking about it and playing it out in my mind. Shortly after 2:00 PM I decided heck with this. I gathered up Lu and headed out to the gym to get things rolling.

Ma. This is for you.

A partial view of the gym with the bicycle already hooked up to the rollers. That’s the official 100 Miles Of Nowhere plate on the bike. The whole thing was done in my humble home gym out behind my house. The gym equipment for lifting, the run on a treadmill and the bike on rollers. Never left the gym except once to use the facilities which were in my own house. How cool is that?


2:30 PM and the official start.


The scoreboard, depressingly free of completed disciplines.


Lifting was up first. As the Big Board shows, I did 7 exercises. The totals went like this:

  • Bench Press – 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
  • Barbell Curl – 100 reps @ 70 pounds = 7,000
  • Dips – 100 reps @ 245 pounds = 24,500
  • Rows – 100 reps @ 185 pounds = 18,500
  • Overhead Extensions – 100 reps @ 100 pounds = 10,000
  • Shoulder Raises – 100 reps @ 55 pounds – 5,500
  • Deadlifts – 60 reps @ 200 pounds = 12,000
  • Squats – 20 reps @ 200 pounds = 4,000

If my math is correct that’s 100,000 pounds in 680 repetitions for a 147 pound per lift average. The first time I did 100,000 pounds in training for this it took me 1250 reps. I started to do squats, intending to do 100 reps but at rep number 10 felt a twinge in my right knee. On the second set of 10 it went from a twinge to a full blown owie and squats were out and maybe the entire triathlon.

I switched to deadlifts and managed 60 reps before the pain became too great. I added some weight and reps to shoulder raises (I was only planning on doing 60 at 50 pounds) and made up the weight.



Take a look at that face. It was about this time that I recognized there might be a problem and was considering how to continue.



Here’s Lu loading plates. She spent the day and night setting up, bringing me food and drinks and just generally coaching and cheer leading. Not to mention the recovery massages. Love that woman.


Here’s the what the final board looked like. Not exactly according to the plan but done.


With lifting done it was to event number 2. I was planning on biking at this point but Lu convinced me that my arms were so pumped that supporting myself on the bike might be problematic so the 10K was next.


The problem knee. It kept me from running the pace I wanted but held together long enough to finish. I did no better than a fast walk and a light jog but I finished every step.


6.2 miles aka 10 Kilometers. The time was disappointing but I finished.


The mid point meal complete with a smile and a thumbs up. Mac and Cheese with bacon bits (because everything is better with bacon), whole wheat bread and a glass of milk. I went through about a gallon of water, a half gallon of Gatorade and a tall milk. Yes, that is indeed a drill press behind me. Don’t ask.


Ok. On to the bike. My arms were still pumped but I considered this the easiest part of the whole deal. Hey, we’re all wrong from time to time. Right?

The obligatory Zero miles shot.


I was going to do the whole ride in my official Team Fatty Jersey but…




Fatty, I love you and Twin Six but by this point my arms were still so pumped the jersey was cutting off circulation to my hands. I went with something a little more…open.


Man, this is hard. In addition to a triathlon this was my first Century on the bike. I found myself looking down at the odometer thinking “I must almost be done by now. Come on, let me almost be done by now” only to discover I still had 75 miles to go. Oof. It was grind it out time so I put my head down and put in the miles.


The finale was most satisfying.


And just like that it was done! The clock on the wall said 11:26 PM.


The official time was kept by Lu on her official Ironman Timex


8:55:42. 8 hours, 55 minutes, 42 seconds.

The final Big Board.


I wanted to do this event for a couple of reasons.

First to support Team Fatty and all his good works and do my part in The Fight.

Second to prove to myself that I could do it.

Finally, and most importantly, to let my Mother know how I feel about her. Ma, I love you more than I could possibly say. I did this because you couldn’t. It’s my small way of honoring you, your life and your fight. Cancer may separate us but you will ever be in my heart. Fight your fight and know I’ll be beside you the whole way. And when your fight is done I will take it up as my own. That is my promise to you.


And so it is done. My legs feel like a bag of angry cats. Lu has been taking good care of me with plenty of Tylenol and leg massages. I’ve spent the day sleeping and eating anything and everything that gets near me. Now, as far as I can tell I’m the first to do this particular brand of triathlon. If so I believe that makes me the world record holder. If not I’m still the record holder in the Male, 51.9 year old (I’ll be 52 in a couple of weeks), Clydesdale, Hurricane Utah, Home Gym, Balding division. I declare myself satisfied. And hey, maybe someone else will step up next year and go for my title. Oh, almost forgot one thing. I started the tri at 245 pounds. After it was done I weighed myself again, thinking I’d see how much weight I’d lost. Kinda like the last chance workout on Biggest Loser. I weighed in at 247. I have to be the only guy in America who can do 9 hours of straight exercise and gain 2 pounds. Jillian would be so disappointed.

Thank you to all of you, my friends, for your support and encouragement. A big Thank You goes to Fatty. The fight goes on my friend but as long as people like you exist how can we possibly fail? Thanks for letting me participate and honor my Mother. I owe you.

– Eric “Six”


  1. Comment by Marianna | 06.6.2011 | 3:08 pm

    Eric, you LEGEND. What a feat of love (and endurance). Amazing. Hilariously told and really touching too. Kind of like this other blog I read about cycling and exercise…

    Awesome story. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Comment by Durvish | 06.6.2011 | 3:09 pm

    Eric — you rock dude!

  3. Comment by NYCCarlos | 06.6.2011 | 3:18 pm

    Congrats on the finish. What an incredible story!

  4. Comment by Dan in Sac | 06.6.2011 | 3:25 pm

    Extraordinary feat. Congratulations to you and Lu.

  5. Comment by aussie kev | 06.6.2011 | 3:28 pm

    OMG – thats an awesome effort – your mum will be so proud – and yes your a world record holder – congrats.

    Allez Ma !

  6. Comment by Paige | 06.6.2011 | 3:29 pm

    I hate crying at work from reading a blog and having to make up some random reason when I am busted by a co-worker.

    That was beautiful and I know your Ma must be proud. Congrats!

  7. Comment by Al | 06.6.2011 | 3:34 pm

    Wow, Eric, that is humbling, man. What a great son you are!

  8. Comment by Sara | 06.6.2011 | 3:34 pm

    I, too, was disappointed to see weight gain instead of loss for my 100MON effort. Ah well. You’re the biggest winner, not the biggest loser, afterall.


  9. Comment by KT | 06.6.2011 | 3:41 pm

    Amazing! Congratulations on finishing, I’m sure your mother is so proud of you!

  10. Comment by Up North | 06.6.2011 | 3:42 pm

    I’m blaming pregnancy hormones for my tears.

    Congrats Eric – that’s VERY impressive & inspiring.

  11. Comment by Edie | 06.6.2011 | 3:52 pm

    So awesome Eric! Your mom is definitely proud of you!

  12. Comment by Joe in San Diego | 06.6.2011 | 4:08 pm

    Most awesome.

  13. Comment by MattC | 06.6.2011 | 4:10 pm

    Eric, you are an inspiration beyond belief! Dang it, alergies or something must be acting up…my eyes are all watery.

  14. Comment by Stephanie | 06.6.2011 | 4:15 pm

    Amazing, amazing, amazing!

  15. Comment by Kathleen | 06.6.2011 | 4:29 pm

    Wow! A truly inspiring NowhereMan!

  16. Comment by Beth B | 06.6.2011 | 4:36 pm

    Eric – AWESOME – what a great write up – great picts, and what a great deed! Very inspirational. Thanks for sharing!! You are a total rockstar!

  17. Comment by AngieG | 06.6.2011 | 4:43 pm

    Eric- What a wonderful gift to your mom. I’m sure she is very proud of your amazing effort. Congratulations on your World Record as well!!

    Stay strong! If you need support just reach out to us. Your friends and hear for you. :-)

  18. Comment by Lin | 06.6.2011 | 5:07 pm

    Eric – You made me cry and laugh.

    Your mom is proud of you. I know she is. She was proud of you before you started, because she knows she helped to create a wonderful man. And your Triathlon is one of the most touching tributes I can imagine from a extraordinary son to an extraordinary woman.

    P.S. I imagine Jillian would be proud of you, as well.

  19. Comment by BamaJim | 06.6.2011 | 5:08 pm

    That is an outstanding effort – in every respect. I’me in awe.

  20. Comment by Anthony | 06.6.2011 | 5:17 pm

    This is awesome beyond words.

  21. Comment by Eric | 06.6.2011 | 5:19 pm

    Thank you all for your kind words my friends. I am touched by your love and support. Ma was so pleased and as I read your comments to her wanted me to make sure you knew how much they meant to her.

    Thank you Fatty, for all you do and who you are. I will forever be a fan and Fatty supporter.

  22. Comment by sandra | 06.6.2011 | 5:34 pm

    I gained three pounds after my effort as well. Oiy. Congrats on finishing. Best wishes to you and your mom. This was a very inspirational story.

  23. Comment by KK | 06.6.2011 | 5:35 pm

    Awesome. Thanks for sharing that story.

  24. Comment by nh_joe | 06.6.2011 | 5:51 pm

    You sir, live on another planet. The only thing I can say is “wow.”

  25. Comment by Chad | 06.6.2011 | 6:07 pm

    I really like this! Well done, sir, well done.

  26. Comment by Bee T | 06.6.2011 | 6:07 pm

    Awww, my first favorite story this year! Awesome job, sir. Great category. I am humbled by your toughness!

  27. Comment by LIz | 06.6.2011 | 6:09 pm

    Eric, congratulations on a race well run — both you and your mother. Best wishes to your whole family.

  28. Comment by LisaG | 06.6.2011 | 6:14 pm

    Way to go, Eric! My father passed away nearly 5 years ago from lung cancer and I know he would have been so proud to see me do something like this. I’ve never done Fatty’s challenge but whenenver I ride hard (or easy) I think of dad the whole time. I’m sure your mom is an incredible woman. Congrats to you and this crazy tri!!

    (perhaps next year I’ll do my version of a tri…. jog, ride, kayak)

  29. Comment by Jamieson | 06.6.2011 | 6:23 pm

    Wow. This is astounding.

  30. Comment by Jo | 06.6.2011 | 6:33 pm

    Well done Eric! Blessings to your mother.

  31. Comment by Big Shorty | 06.6.2011 | 7:01 pm

    Amazing work Six!

    You have set the bar WAY high.

  32. Comment by lynn e | 06.6.2011 | 7:05 pm

    May you discover that your Nowhere will follow you Everywhere in life.

  33. Comment by Nogocyclist | 06.6.2011 | 7:18 pm

    A part of me wants to explain the weight gain, but I don’t want to take away from the congratulations you deserve for this your selfless determination.

    Outstanding job!

  34. Comment by Joel P. | 06.6.2011 | 7:29 pm

    OK, it’s been a while since I’ve posted but this is truly post worthy. Eric “Six”, you are amazing and you rock! Both you and your mom are in my thoughts.
    Joel P.

  35. Comment by Kevin | 06.6.2011 | 7:47 pm

    This totally redefines IRONman. Seriously dude. Beyond impressive.

    What a great story!

  36. Comment by Christina | 06.6.2011 | 8:16 pm

    Awesome! You’re awesome! Tell your mom she has an amazing son and she’s in our thoughts.

  37. Comment by Carl | 06.6.2011 | 8:17 pm

    I’ll be brief… wow!!!

  38. Comment by Dan | 06.6.2011 | 8:41 pm

    I’ll second the “wow” as noted above.

  39. Comment by Mark J. | 06.6.2011 | 9:49 pm

    Fantastic job Eric. I am so jealous of your upper body strength I can’t even tell you! LOL. Seriously, well done sir. Congratulations.

  40. Comment by Jim Miller | 06.6.2011 | 10:51 pm


  41. Comment by John M | 06.6.2011 | 11:22 pm

    This one was something special.

  42. Comment by Jenn | 06.7.2011 | 12:10 am

    Your mother is blessed to have such a son. Awesome story, well told. Best to you and yours, Eric…you’re an inspiration.

  43. Comment by Patrick #4091 | 06.7.2011 | 1:38 am

    That’s an amazing achievement Eric. Your strength and perseverance is truly inspiring!

  44. Comment by shell | 06.7.2011 | 1:51 am

    Eric- you legend!

  45. Comment by Doug (Way upstate NY) | 06.7.2011 | 5:07 am

    Allez Fellow Fatty!

  46. Comment by Keighty | 06.7.2011 | 5:18 am

    I kept waiting for, “And then I stopped to take a nap…” You are an animal!

  47. Comment by James N | 06.7.2011 | 5:29 am

    Wow. That is awesome!

  48. Comment by Maggi | 06.7.2011 | 5:53 am

    Eric, congrats on your amazing and inventive tri– what an inspiration! You and your Mom are in my thoughts.

  49. Comment by Arizona Guy | 06.7.2011 | 6:57 am

    That Sir is doing it the hard way. A beautiful monument to your Mom.

    As for the weight gain – that happens to me every big event. The hydration and stress on your body adds a few pounds that melt away in a few days. Although with the muscle you built lifting 100,000 pounds….maybe not. :-)

  50. Comment by Maggie | 06.7.2011 | 7:00 am

    Eric, AMAZING, what an accomplishment, what a great guy you are – yuou mom must be so proud of you. What on earth will you do for the next one?

    My thoughts are with your mom, you & LU – way to go.

  51. Comment by Debi | 06.7.2011 | 7:06 am

    I’m just back from the R2R Memorial Challenge catching up on my favorite blogs.

    I’m planning my 100 Miles of Nowhere now. What a beautiful blog. What an awesome event you created and what a beautiful thing for you to do for your Mom. I’m sure she’s very proud of you and we are too. I’ll be saying a prayer for you and your family tonight. Congratulations on this accomplishment.

  52. Comment by Jase | 06.7.2011 | 7:29 am

    Nice job! I salute you my friend!

  53. Comment by Clydesteve | 06.7.2011 | 7:30 am

    Bathtubs?? We don’t need no stinkin’ bathtubs!

    Outstanding, sir!

  54. Comment by evilbanks | 06.7.2011 | 7:58 am

    Dude, that is EPIC. Nice one.

  55. Comment by Roses | 06.7.2011 | 9:36 am

    Where’s the great big gold buckle for the world champion?


  56. Comment by mtnbikechk@hotmail.com | 06.7.2011 | 10:40 am

    Incredible way to ‘dig into your suitcase of courage’…must run in the Family…Ma, you’re Son is an inspiration to us all and devoted to you, his role model.

  57. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.7.2011 | 11:31 am

    Comment by Eric | 06.6.2011 | 5:19 pm

    Now the allergies are affecting me. And I didn’t know I had allergies.

    Well done Eric. Like all the others, calling you an inspiration is insufficient.

  58. Comment by Jenny | 06.7.2011 | 9:09 pm

    Hilarious and inspiring. Your mom must be so proud of you! And Lu deserves a shout-out for being a fantastic race sherpa. I wish you and your family all the strength and love in the world.

  59. Comment by Kirsten | 06.7.2011 | 9:41 pm

    Eric, you are amazing! I’m sure you’ve done your mom and Lu proud! Great job NowhereMan!! :)

  60. Comment by Haven-KT | 06.8.2011 | 12:31 pm

    Wow. Just… wow. How inspiring, and what a great tribute to your mom!

  61. Comment by Debora | 06.10.2011 | 12:03 pm

    Have been away on vacation and trying to catch up with work so just now reading my FAVORITE blog.

    Fatty – Thank you for posting this wonderful story.

    Eric – At a loss of words, other than “Well done”. I know that is not very profound but…..it is hard to type AND be profound when you are wiping tears from your eyes.

    WELL DONE!!!!


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