Rockwell Relay: Our Race Objectives

06.10.2011 | 7:38 am

Rockwell Relay: Our Race Objectives

Originally uploaded by Fat Cyclist.

Greetings from the starting line of the Rockwell Relay! Our objectives for the day are, in the following order:

1. Beat the team The Runner’s son is on.
2. Beat all other teams in our category (middle aged coed division).
3. Beat all other teams in EVERY coed team.
4. Not hate each other by the end of the race.

The race starts in 1/2 hour. Kenny goes first, then me, then The Runner, then Heather.

Wish us luck! Or something!


  1. Comment by Dan | 06.10.2011 | 7:39 am

    Good luck team Fatty! Remember patience is a virtue…

  2. Comment by Jenn | 06.10.2011 | 7:45 am

    Luck?! You don’t need no stinking luck! Get out there and kick some a**!! I will look forward to the podium pics!

  3. Comment by Debi | 06.10.2011 | 8:00 am

    Have a great and safe run and kick some butt. I, too, look forward to the podium pictures.

  4. Comment by Charlie | 06.10.2011 | 8:05 am

    Luck! That and all the “training” you have been doing.

  5. Comment by Dave T | 06.10.2011 | 8:05 am

    Good luck I’m sure you guys will do great:)

  6. Comment by Tyler G | 06.10.2011 | 8:09 am

    Good luck, hopefully the legs have recovered from the 100 miles to no where race. You guys are going to do great!

  7. Comment by Eunanimus | 06.10.2011 | 8:22 am

    thats some kinda pose you got goin on there fatty…

  8. Comment by JodieA | 06.10.2011 | 8:50 am

    Good luck and try to remember the rules you set out a few weeks ago. I’m sure you’ll do well, but try not to kill each other during all the togetherness!

  9. Comment by Anonymous | 06.10.2011 | 9:02 am

    Luck is for Rabbits

  10. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.10.2011 | 9:05 am

    You’ve got your own BUS???? How cool is that!
    And why is Kenny wearing your bib shorts Fatty? Maybe I don’t want to know.

    Ride on, wave from the podium.

  11. Comment by bikemike | 06.10.2011 | 9:08 am

    to the pain!

  12. Comment by kristina the Troll | 06.10.2011 | 9:18 am

    Can I get a refund?
    Fatty, I have been supporting you and your cause since 2007, reading about Susan, your genius remotes, your marriage, your kids, etc.
    I support Team Fatty, when the team has core values. I don’t support this new foursome.

    Ok Kristina, I have a few questions for you.

    1. Have you seriously donated anything? If so please do forward me the receipts. I’ll reimburse you out of pocket. I don’t want you on my team.
    2. Do your core values include honesty? Because you’ve been posting a lot of comments as a lot of people (Erin, Kristina, anonymous, Dan, KM, Ross W, Bob) during the past few days, which is pretty deceptive.
    3. When anyone you know gets divorced, do you immediately sever ties with them and demand that all others do the same? Because if so, I could have saved you a lot of time with this blog a long time ago. See, my parents are divorced, but I haven’t severed ties with them either.

    Kenny is one of the best friends I have ever had. You, on the other hand, are a multiple-faced, judgmental troll.

    I look forward to reimbursing you for whatever you have donated, at which point I look forward to being shut of you permanently. – FC

  13. Comment by lynn e | 06.10.2011 | 9:19 am

    Fatty are you still sucking in your gut or are those true ab definitions that I’m seeing? Have a blast!

    Oh, I’m sucking in my gut HARD! – FC

  14. Comment by KM | 06.10.2011 | 9:48 am

    I don’t believe in luck, only hard work so I’ll wish you something. Have a blast!

  15. Comment by KM | 06.10.2011 | 9:48 am

    I don’t believe in luck, only hard work so I’ll wish you something. Have a blast!

  16. Comment by Kristina the Troll (was KM) | 06.10.2011 | 9:52 am

    I am with you Kristina- where is Natalie and who is this new chic with Kenny?

    Why look, everyone! “KM” — who is the same person who has been posting as “Kristina” — is with Kristina! How peculiar that so many of her multiple personalities are asking the same question! Happy trolling, Kristina! – FC

  17. Comment by Haven-KT | 06.10.2011 | 10:01 am

    Good luck! Go get em!

  18. Comment by JAT in Seattle | 06.10.2011 | 10:02 am

    I’ve wondered that too, KM, but (and this is speaking from outside Utah,…) relationships sometimes don’t work out and people move on.

    Good luck Kenny, Heather, Runner, and of course Fatty!

  19. Comment by Dan in Sac | 06.10.2011 | 10:10 am

    Best o’ luck to the team. May you create many memories and many odors.

  20. Comment by | 06.10.2011 | 10:11 am

    allez allez Fatty and Team….go kick some ‘bike’……

  21. Comment by BamaJim | 06.10.2011 | 10:18 am

    Hope the race goes well and you meet all of your objectives, particularly 4. Well, and 1

  22. Comment by GJ Jackie | 06.10.2011 | 10:27 am

    Ride like the wind! Also, whoever is unlucky enough to ride in the heat this afternoon, keep lots of ice in your water bottle. It’s gonna be a warm one in the desert southwest.

  23. Comment by Liz | 06.10.2011 | 10:50 am

    Good luck! I have no doubt experience will triumph over youth. Be sure to post more pictures of beautiful scenery.

  24. Comment by Doug (Way upstate NY) | 06.10.2011 | 11:18 am

    Or something!

  25. Comment by KanyonKris | 06.10.2011 | 12:50 pm

    Rock well! Looks like fun, have a great ride.

  26. Comment by Evelin B | 06.10.2011 | 1:04 pm

    Best wishes for a good time!!!!

  27. Comment by Eric | 06.10.2011 | 5:38 pm

    Good Luck!

  28. Comment by theguide | 06.10.2011 | 6:41 pm

    Have fun! Good luck during the non-biking portion of the race, Fatty has been eating a lot of eggs.

  29. Comment by Kristina the Troll (was anonymous) | 06.10.2011 | 10:55 pm

    I met Kennys wife at Leadville many years ago. Sweetest thing. I am too wondering where she is?

    Note to readers: this is yet another of Kristina the Troll’s multiple personalities. (Natalie is happy and engaged, for those of you who are less evilly curious.) – FC

  30. Comment by Jim B | 06.11.2011 | 7:59 am

    kristina — your comment is highly inappropriate.

    Either you don’t know the people involved other than the little glimpse you get from fatty’s blog, in which case you don’t have any business passing judgement, or you actually know them personally in which case you should address it personally and not on fatty’s comment forum.

  31. Comment by Kristina the Troll | 06.11.2011 | 8:41 am

    Jim B- asking for a refund is inappropriate?

    Some of us women have been working really hard to support Fatty for years. We have donated, we have blogged, and we have biked miles and miles for Susan.

    The internet can be a good or bad thing Jim. You choose to put your life out there on social media, it no longer becomes personal. You ask us to support you because of personal issues (ie, cancer)- yet, when it isn’t convenient, you draw that line?

    We love Kenny, and we loved Natalie. My group simply is not supporting the FC anymore. I will indeed contact Eldon “personally”.

    Good Luck.

    And by your “group,” do you mean you and Erin and Dan and KM and Ross W and Bob and anonymous? Kinda weird that you’re claiming to be a woman but you post as a guy with about half your pseudonyms. Gender confusion issues?

    For what it’s worth, I’m asking for support not of me, but the fight against cancer. Big difference.

    Also, you seriously believe that because Kenny and I are friends, his marital status is a legitimate blog topic? Wow.

    Happy trolling!

    - FC

  32. Comment by Kristina the Troll (was Erin) | 06.11.2011 | 1:06 pm

    I am with Kristina on this one. Vegetarians/Kennys new biker chic- it’s 6’s Jim B.
    Kenny, are you single? Wanna hang out?

    Erin, you’re “with” Kristina because you ARE Kristina. And “Dan.” And “KM.” And “Ross W.” And “Bob.” And “Anonymous.” In the past few days you’ve started posting here A LOT under a lot of different names. Evidently, your head is a very crowded place.

    Happy trolling!

    - FC

  33. Comment by KanyonKris | 06.11.2011 | 4:13 pm

    Kristina – It’s your choice, but are you sure you have enough facts?

    Second, in life stuff happens. If you expect the people who inspire you to be perfect and never change, and their friends too, I’m afraid you’re going to be disappointed a lot. Looking for the good isn’t the same as expecting perfection.

  34. Comment by Jim B | 06.11.2011 | 6:22 pm

    Kristina — let me get this right. You donated money in the fight against cancer, and now you wish you hadn’t and want the money back. Is that a fair summation? I’m not asking why you feel that way, just to confirm this is the end effect you wish for.

  35. Comment by bob | 06.11.2011 | 6:59 pm

    Nice team truck in the background, did you guys steal it?

    Didn’t steal the truck. We did get some nice stuff off it, though. More on that soon! – FC

  36. Comment by bob | 06.11.2011 | 7:22 pm

    So Kristina you DO realize there are many other races and rides out there for people to do? Nowhere on this site does it say Fatty and The Runner are going to live a completely pious life of simply raising money for cancer from dawn to dusk, there are many other things in life to do like Leadville which you may have heard of. Everytime Fatty puts on his cycling kit or any other swag he’s keeping up the fight, it’s just really odd you think they have given up on the fight simply because they’re doing a race for fun.

    I think people are completely baffled that you would actually stop supporting the effort with reasons that don’t make sense to anyone because Fatty and The Runner have decided to do something for fun with the same people who have been there the whole time. And yes asking for a refund from a charity is incredibly petty.

  37. Comment by Jenni | 06.11.2011 | 9:29 pm

    Ride with people who make you happy. Have fun. Love you guys.

    Sending luck and happiness and hoping you accomplish all your goals.

  38. Comment by Jenn | 06.12.2011 | 1:21 am

    Holy geez! Snarky McJudgypants much?! What are we, twelve, people!?! May I suggest the oldie but goodie, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

  39. Comment by Steve | 06.12.2011 | 9:16 am

    Kristina, KM, Bob, etc. Find something else to do and get some help.


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