100MoN Race Report #15: Team Fatty at the NYC “Velodrone”

06.22.2011 | 6:53 am

A Note About Team Fatty on the +3 Network: When I posted Monday, I honestly hoped that I’d get 100 people to sign up for Team Fatty on the +3 Network, thinking that together it would be possible for us to raise enough money for World Bicycle Relief to buy 500 bikes in a year. But as of this moment, 354 of us have signed up, and we’ve already recorded $3906-worth of biking / running / walking / weight-lifting, and so forth.

That’s 32 bikes already. In two days. This is awesome.

The +3 Network guys are working on a widet-y thing to include in my blog showing our current stats. Meanwhile, expect me to remind everyone once a week or so to remember to post your data.

I think that, with as many of us as there are, it’s possible for us to raise enough money to buy more than 1000 bikes this year (that would be $120,000.00).

That’s just under a dollar’s-worth of working out, per Team Fatty member, per day.

That’s do-able.

In fact, let’s make that our goal.

And then let’s make a secondary goal of crushing that initial goal.

100MoN Race Report #15: Team Fatty at the NYC “Velodrone”
by Jenni Laurita

Team Fatty NYC edition met up last Sunday for our official 100 MoN. Our meeting place was the Kissena Velodrone. I will not amend my typo here or throughout this post because quite frankly I think someone’s initially naming of a velodrome was a typo.

We gathered early, some earlier than others because some of us were in my car driving in circles trying to find the location. Good thing I decided to turn my bike computer on then so I was able to keep mileage with people actually already riding. It was the easiest 6 miles I’d ever done going nowhere.

As we assembled at the velodrone, one theme became constant our embracing the “nowhere” spirit of the event.


We had many different divisions present to compete: there was Carlos in the youngest member division, Joel’s most upstate division, Laura’s homeless youth division, and my mathmathically-challenged short-term memory-impaired division, to name a few. Oh, and Wil’s Literal Interpretation division.

I’ll save you the suspense now and reveal we all won our divisions. At least I think we did.

And we all had variations of Team Fatty kits. There was of course, several versions of official past jerseys and color schemes, Joel’s amazing shorts (shown further down), there was tutu flair (modeled here by Scott in his delirium in his last 10 laps)


And Jamieson’s “my-bike-seat-needs-a-bikini-wax” flair:


So, around and around we rode. The track was .25 mile around and my friends assure me through their new math that this equalled 400 laps. So, we rode.


And we rode


And we rode


And we embraced the spirit of Team Fatty in every possible way.

Other team members did the velodrone thing. They had an impressive showing of a sub four-hour century using a motorcycle to pace them. Psh! Amateurs! Team Fatty arranged for a far more appropriate pace vehicle.

And here’s a first-person POV:


With our legs warmed up, we kept steadfast to our mission to 100 laps of Nowhere. Or was it 100 km of Nowhere. Or was it 100 minutes of conversation while watching Joel go nowhere?


We supported each other deftly throughout the day. I managed to keep true to the spirit of the day by figuring out if I held onto Daniel’s jersey while he rode, I could work towards going nowhere while actually doing nothing. I believe my division awards special prizes for this accomplishment.

We had our own styles and our own ways of accomplishing our goals this day. Some of us used computers on our bikes, some of us used no computers, some of us employed a far more sophisticated system of mileage documentation.


Either Scott has finished 160 laps, or he is part of the Yakuza.

Still we rode on. Really we rode. Immediately before and immediately after all 100 pictures I have of us like this. Because riding on a velodrone is really that much fun, it was hard to force ourselves to take breaks, somehow we managed. En masse. To take breaks. Lots of them.


(Serious aside: that’s Joel sporting board shorts in memory of our beloved team member, Ryan)

Through the day, one division I think had the strongest showing.

Wil’s division was fiercely contested by some non-team member stretching midfield for I think 3 hours. But with true warrior spirit, Wil persevered.


By the end of day, Team Fatty had finally found our stride. We gelled. We learned the subtle nuances of each other’s riding styles enough deftly execute the mother of all 100 MoN pacelines.



  • Laughing hysterically with great people
  • Convincing the ice cream truck guy to pace us
  • Pacelining inches behind the fixie-riding Scott at 19 mph
  • Pacelining with the non-team members we shared the track with
  • Seeing Scott actually achieve his true 100 MoN, while the rest of us applied a looser definition


  • No bathroom in close proximity
  • Fierce winds and crushing ennui


It was amazing to ride with you all, thank you everyone (including Carlos’ girlfriend Amy!) for all the support and fun. Let’s do it again soon.

Except not at the velodrone.

Anyone wanting to help offset the fee Carlos paid for us to ride, can contribute to his donation page here. Thanks Carlos!


  1. Comment by MattC | 06.22.2011 | 7:28 am

    Wow, what an awesome story! LOVE your paceline shot, it truly is in the spirit of going nowhere. Kudo’s to you all! (especially if you upload your garmin data and actually GET “Kudo’s” for the miles)! Keep em’ coming Fatty!

  2. Comment by rich | 06.22.2011 | 7:49 am

    pretty awesome accomplishment and I think you should get bonus miles for getting an ice cream truck to pace you….
    Nice job!

  3. Comment by Maggi | 06.22.2011 | 8:32 am

    Even though I read this on Jenni’s blog back when she originally posted, it is cracking me up all over again.

  4. Comment by Up North | 06.22.2011 | 8:34 am

    That paceline shot was worth it all. And the ice cream truck pacing. Did they at least play music for you?

    Looks like a fabulous day.

  5. Comment by Kevin M | 06.22.2011 | 9:01 am

    371 Fatty’s signed up now. Way to go Team Fatty!!

  6. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.22.2011 | 9:13 am

    Great way to start my day here on the coast! one question: what kind of ice creams were the favorites?And what did you do about the little children running behind you after the truck?

  7. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.22.2011 | 9:31 am

    Make that two questions:
    Fatty, are we going to get a Johann report on his 100MoN? Did he do the trainer? Are there pictures? It would be rather amusing to have someone from the team write the report, especially if it was in Spanish…or Russian….or….he could just do it in Flemish.

  8. Comment by Jo | 06.22.2011 | 9:55 am

    Very fun report Jenni! Congrats to your whole group!

  9. Comment by lynn e | 06.22.2011 | 9:56 am

    Loved the “mother of all 100 MoN pacelines”. Fun write-up in what actually looked like a fun time.

  10. Comment by Doug (Way upstate NY) | 06.22.2011 | 10:10 am

    The lap through the trees must have been exciting. Did you do that for a change of pace? Sorry I couldn’t be there with you all…..

  11. Comment by Jenni | 06.22.2011 | 10:12 am

    There were actually no little children to scare away, bonus!

    And true story- we didn’t get to eat any ice cream. We were planning on buying some after he paced us, but as soon as we finished, he drove away.

    Not that we needed the extra calories- we easily had enough food for a month. Another Team Fatty attribute.

  12. Comment by BZ | 06.22.2011 | 10:13 am

    Awesome ride recap.

  13. Comment by Jenni | 06.22.2011 | 10:16 am

    p.s. thanks Jamieson for the awesome video!

    If you look closely you can see the camera mounted to the front of his bike in pic #7

  14. Comment by Liz | 06.22.2011 | 11:14 am

    Excellent writeup, Jenni! Looked like fun. The ice cream truck bit is awesome.

    Also, the +3 Network is fun! I’ll try to rise to the challenge of a dollar a day, although my commute gets me just 86 cents so I’ll have to do some extra work somewhere.

    And I can see why Elden and Lisa are such uber-athletes from the workouts they are posting. Wow!

  15. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.22.2011 | 11:25 am

    Fatty- Just saw your run on +3, kudos to you. Can you tell me though how a run can finish with a negative differential of about 5K feet? Awesomeness squared. But we already knew that.

    Just as confusing to me as it is to you, unless somehow my house sank 5K feet between when I left it and when I got back! Especially strange since the elevation profile of the run looks about right! – FC

  16. Comment by Joel P. | 06.22.2011 | 12:43 pm

    Umm, @ Doug (Way upstate NY),if I remember correctly, that one lap through the trees was Carlos’ solution to the no bathroom situation. Sorry, for the TMI.
    Joel P.

  17. Comment by Heber Chad | 06.22.2011 | 1:27 pm

    And Jamieson’s “my-bike-seat-needs-a-bikini-wax” flair:

    I’m still laughing at this. Thanks for a great ‘Guest Post’

    Team Fatty really is AWESOME.

  18. Comment by Clydesteve | 06.22.2011 | 1:35 pm

    This is a totally awesome writeup of what looks to be even more fun that I had on the stationary with 1/2 of the LOTR trilogy (extended addition)

  19. Comment by RedNBlondies | 06.22.2011 | 1:36 pm

    One of my favorite 100MoN reports! Loved the pictures and the group silliness involved. Thanks for sharing.

    Oh, and I earned a grand 0.53 cents today. I’ll try to do better tomorrow!

  20. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 06.22.2011 | 2:23 pm

    Fatty- Check out Steve Shoell’s work commute. Apparently it’s a Utah thing. He had a 600K ft. climb/descent…in 43 minutes…and he was going cross town.


    on June 22, 2011 @ 01:01 PM Kudos Earned: 46
    Total Time: 00:43:24 Distance: 11.6 Miles
    Sport: Road Biking Dollars Raised: $0.69
    Elevation Gain: 599555 ft / -604037 ft Calories: 309
    Average Speed: 16 mph Max Speed: 34.7 mph
    Average Pace: 00:03:44
    Avg. Heart Rate: 117 Max. Heart Rate: 151
    Visibility: Anyone can see this.

  21. Comment by Team Coffee Nook | 06.22.2011 | 3:01 pm

    Fatty, Recognizing you can post only so many race reports, any chance you could place all the reports on a server we can link to so we can read at our leisure?

  22. Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 06.22.2011 | 3:39 pm

    Paced by an ice cream truck. That’s hilarious. :-)

  23. Comment by Linda | 06.22.2011 | 7:30 pm

    Love this, Jenni! Very entertaining….looks like you guys had a much more interesting and fun time than my boring 100 MoN by myself. You’ve inspired me for next year :)

  24. Comment by Carl | 06.22.2011 | 8:16 pm

    Boy, I wish I could have been there. Great post Jenni!

  25. Comment by Fat Cathy | 06.22.2011 | 8:24 pm

    great writeup! Loved the ice cream pace truck.

  26. Comment by BamaJim | 06.22.2011 | 9:14 pm

    Too cool! The ice cream truck pacer is real genius.

  27. Comment by stuckinmypedals | 06.22.2011 | 9:18 pm

    This post made me giggle and and snort so many times! Great job, everyone and thanks for the laughs!

  28. Comment by Patrick #4091 | 06.23.2011 | 2:26 am

    Despite the ‘ennui’ it looks like you guys had the most fun!

  29. Comment by AKChick | 06.23.2011 | 8:23 am


    PLEASE START A CYCLING BLOG! Just do it. Don’t look back. Don’t pass GO. This was a post that gave Fatty a run for his money. You are hilarious! I love it! This was hilarious! I wish I could have joined you on the track. My 100MON was rained out due to an incredible lack of foresight on my part (Alaska + Summer = Rain & cold). I loved this post!!! Thank you, Fatty (thinny) for posting your reader’s 100MON adventures. I need to step up my game for next year!

  30. Comment by AKChick | 06.23.2011 | 8:25 am

    Just saw a commenter’s post on the +3 program. I downloaded the app which only counts in kilometers (I am not in Europe and I was not raised on this unit of measurement – I want my miles dang it. :). Anyhow, it took an 8+ mile ride and reduced it to 0.2 K – um what? So after one use, I’m going to keep using Strava and manually entering my rides.

  31. Comment by Rob M | 06.24.2011 | 7:22 pm

    Jenni, you definitely have writing talent. Great post.

    Congrats for winning your division.

  32. Comment by Jenni | 06.24.2011 | 8:00 pm

    Awh shuck you guys.

    I do have a blog, I write pretty much just my events (and if you go back to 2008, my own breast cancer story). Click on my name and you’ll see. Thanks for the kind words!


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