Greetings all. It is I, the real Fat Cyclist. Okay, actually it’s just me, a fat cyclist. Fatty’s letting me housesit for him while he’s in France riding with Andy FREAKING Hampsten.
Some of you around here know me. Well, as much as anyone can know a total stranger who they don’t know at all, but only communicate with via the backblog – that’s what the kewl kids call the comments section – of a popular blog. Oh, and “kewl” is the way the kids spell “cool.”
Because the kids are idiots.
But I digress.
Since I’m your host for the next couple of weeks, and since my single goal is having only alienated and bored no more than 60% of Fatty’s readership while here, I thought I’d better open with a Get To Know You post. It’s what my industry calls a “Meet and greet.”
Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself
I’m a man with little wealth and no taste. My name’s Paul Guyot, and in the interest of full disclosure… I only started cycling in January of 2010. Yep, that’s right. I’m a newbie. A rook. And a Clydesdale to boot. I have not ascended and descended mountainous mountains like Fatty and Dug and Kenny and many of you have. I have not – and more importantly, cannot – do things like Leadville or 24hr races or any of that.
I’m just a chubby dude who used to be much more chubby before I traded in late night love affairs with fried food for morning rides and Honey Stinger products. After years of physical and nutritional apathy, my brother – a cycling coach for Carmichael Training Systems – gave me a road bike for Christmas, and changed my life. I went from being addicted to laziness and crinkle cut chips, to being addicted to suffering and Gu gels.
In a year, I dropped over thirty pounds, but more importantly saved my life. To inspire those of you who are just now dipping your toe into the Cycling is Life pool, let me share this:
On October 9th, 2009, I had a complete physical. After looking at the results of my blood work and everything else, my doctor proclaimed me “Pre-Diabetic.” He informed me that if I did not lose a significant amount of weight, and start eating better, I would be diabetic within a few months and have to go on medication.
On December 2nd, 2010, after my first year of cycling, I went to the same doctor and had another complete physical… I won’t bore you with all the numbers, but they were significantly better. So much so, that my doctor said in one year of cycling and eating better, I had reduced my risk of cardiovascular disease by nearly 25%, and my risk for diabetes by over 50%. I still have a long way to go to become Leadville Fit, but I’m on my way and I’m loving the journey.
This year I upgraded from my Christmas gift bike to a Trek Project One, and while I am in no way worthy of the bike – either physically or ability-wise – I love it. Like, love it in a bordering on creepy way. I keep it inside my house because I feel it is too good for the garage. I find myself looking at it a lot. Like, late at night when I’m sitting in the brown leather chair I’m in right now, watching Apple TV (God, but I love my Apple TV), or writing (as I am right this very moment), and I will just look over and stare at the P1. And then I usually smile. And imagine being out on a ride somewhere, suffering up a climb, or surpassing 50mph on a descent.
Then I stare at the bike some more and think how cool it looks. And that thought leads me to thinking about how cool I must look when I’m out riding it, and that’s when my world implodes. Because I imagine uber-fit, Rapha-clad hipsters rolling by me on their steel Vikings thinking, “Look at that carbon-loving dufus too lazy to use down tube shifters.”
Or is it doofus?
That leads me to walk to my balcony, stare out at Manhattan and say, “Who am I?”
Then I remind myself that isn’t Manhattan, it’s just a suburb of St. Louis, and I should really remove WALL STREET from my Netflix queue.
But I digress.
A lot of my inspiration early on came from Fatty and this blog. It also led me to Livestrong which I supported lightly and ignorantly until this year when, in one those fusilli of fate things, my family and I unfortunately needed the help and services of Livestrong. They were amazing and I will support them heavily the rest of my life. Which leads me to this…
Donate To My Livestrong Challenge Austin Page and Win a New Trek Livestrong Bike
I’m riding the Livestrong Challenge 90+ miles ride in October and Trek has graciously agreed to give away a bike to one lucky winner. But if we raise $10,000 Trek will give away TWO of these completely awesome bikes!
As in all of Fatty’s giveaways, you will receive one chance for every $5 you donate. Winners will be chosen by Fatty using his nifty Random.org thingy.
Donate here for a chance to win a cool bike, and to just be a cool person.
So that’s the abridged version of me. Insert yawn here.
I love cycling, to the point that I have now fallen in love with the suffering. I love Livestrong. I love Fatty, but you know, in a real manly way, like when those cool MMA guys hug each other with that forearm-to-chest slap-the-back hug type of way.
In the days to come I will be discussing a myriad of topics, some (hopefully) even bike related. Okay, most. If there’s anything of particular interest to you that you’d like me to discuss on this blog, drop a comment to let me know. Remember, with Fatty gone, we can do WHATEVER we want!
Just don’t break anything.