Note: While Fatty is cycling away in France with Andy Freaking Hampsten, Paul Guyot – of the Arizona Guyots – is guest blogging for him.
Hello Fatty’s Best. Let’s start today with an update on the man himself. Apparently, it was raining heavily the day Fatty was to get dropped by, er, climb with Andy Freaking Hampsten up the legendary Alpe d”Huez. Knowing Fatty as we do, I cannot see rain – regardless of how much – keeping him off that climb. I am sure he will have truly epic stories for us when he returns. We all wish him and The CaBammer safe travels.
Now onto the topic at hand. As I mentioned in my first post I only began riding in 2010, and by year’s end was completely addicted. Stunned by the weight I’d lost, and thoroughly reinvigorated about life and changed for the better by the physical, mental, and emotional metamorphosis that cycling brought me. I had even started a blog to chronicle my journey.
And so, for 2011, I knew I had to up the ante – I wanted to push myself more, dig deeper, ride faster, better and longer. What better way to kick off the year than to seek out professional advice. I decided to talk with Levi Leipheimer – fairly successful pro racer, but more importantly, friend of Fatty, and founder of what is – from what I hear – quite possibly the single coolest Gran Fondo in the country.
I traveled to Team RadioShack’s top secret winter training facility and found Levi outside the wind tunnel having a smoke.
Okay, maybe he wasn’t having a smoke, I could be wrong. Regardless, security cameras managed to capture our meeting, and after months and months of discussions with Johan Bruyneel, Levi, and the people in charge of restraining orders in that part of the country, I was able to get my hands on the footage.
So here, for the first time in public, is my actual meeting with Levi Leipheimer last January.
Okay, some of you might have a question or two. Like…
How did I know where to find the top secret training facility? Or… do you really frocking expect us to believe that is actually… the outfit you wore to the meeting?
Or maybe you’re wondering just who the heck is Fizzhogg?
Don’t you know how to format a video link so it’s sized properly for the blog?
Perhaps a couple of the more jaded and cynical readers here might be wondering if that’s really even Levi Leipheimer? I assure you I can answer all these queries.
1) How did I know where to find him? I’m sorry, I can’t answer that. Well, I could tell you but then I’d have to have Jens Voigt kill you by riding so hard off the front of your group that you decide life is no longer worth living. And I love you too much for that. Plus, Fatty told me before he left – “Don’t kill any of my readers.”
2) Yes, that is the outfit I wore and please don’t make a big deal out of it. My U10 daughter is just learning to sew, and she made it for me – to remind me to get my calcium from broccoli and not milk.
3) Fizzhogg is me. That’s my Twitter name. @Fizzhogg. Feel free to follow me if you’re the type that likes watching paint dry. White paint. Navajo white. And be warned – I get a little nuts about soccer.
4) Um… no.
5) Is that actually Levi Leipheimer? I think only Levi himself can answer that.
There. I have answered any and all questions to your extreme satisfaction, I’m sure.
Right about now is when 98.75% of you are looking at your watches and thinking, “I wonder if there’s any chance Fatty can come back early? I do miss the intelligence and maturity he brought to his posts.” The other 1.25% is my family and they are so proud that I’ve finally made the big time!
In Other News
Thank you all for the kind comments about Jack. He was truly impressed. It was the perfect cap to his Tuesday. Apparently, he told his 3rd Grade class all about meeting and riding with Garmin-Cervelo and got… crickets.
Not a lot of knowledgeable cycling fans in that particular 3rd grade class, though Gabe – the boy who always wears the red hoodie and eats pencil shavings – showed the most awareness of the sport when he asked Jack, “So did you talk to Lance Armstrong?”
But Jack does not care. I think there’s something about being in love with a sport that not every one of his buddies are into that he digs. Oh, and Jack wanted me to mention to you all that he will be making his race debut this weekend at the Gateway Cup in St. Louis.
He will be riding in the Kids Races for 8/9 year olds. It is a straight sprint for a hundred yards or so. He wants to wear his Garmin-Cervelo kit, of course, but after looking at the photos of the kids races from years past, they are all “regular” kids – t-shirts, shorts and little 20″ mtn bikes. I’m worried if he rolls up to the start on his Trek Roadie in his Garminwear, kids will hate him, and other parents are going to think I’m some obsessed dad who is pushing their kid tens years ahead of schedule.
Plus, if he should lose to a kid on a Wal-Mart singlespeed, that could be quite an ego blow. We’ll see. In the end I usually let him choose his path.
Speaking of Jack – I did not intend (nor want) my time here to turn into a “Look how cool MY kid is!” thing. That’s not what Fatty asked me to do. So I will back off any more posts about him unless I hear from you. Some of you remarked about Jack riding 20 miles. Well, we did not make the entire route Tuesday, but he has ridden several distances like that including this year’s TOUR DE DONUT.
I have a very amateurish video of his ride that day and could post it here, but only if enough of you are interested. If you are, let me know. Otherwise just don’t mention it and I will get the hint.
I have to go now. Apparently, Levi’s lawyers are on the phone.