I’ve Never Suffered as Badly as When…

10.13.2011 | 8:31 am

A Note from Fatty About Dustin’s Young Survival Coalition Tour de Pink Contest: Dustin set out to do three things to honor Michelle last weekend. For two of them, all the work was up to him. For the third — raising $20,000 for the Young Survival Coalition — well, Team Fatty delivered for him in spades. Now that the contest is over, here are a few little nuggets of information you might be interested in:

  • I just emailed the prize winners and am now waiting to hear back.
  • The grand prize winner donated $100 on 10/7, and has the initials “BC.” [Update: The winner's name is Barry C, and he's sent in a little blurb and photo about himself. Check it out below]
  • 493 people donated as part of this contest.
  • Team Fatty raised $21,955.60, making us the second-biggest fundraiser in the West Coast Tour de Pink. That’s nearly $2000 more than our goal. Awesome!
  • I thought we were going to be the largest fundraiser, but another person came from nowhere yesterday and raised about $3000 more than we did. Frankly, I think that is awesome.
  • Weiser’s Army, of which Team Fatty is a member, is by far and away the top fundraising team, with just under $50,000 raised.
  • The largest donation came from Twin Six — $1060 — coming from their 50% donation of all XL+ gear for one day. I love the Twin Six guys.
  • The largest donation from an individual was an amazing $650.
  • 75 people donated $100 or more, including two people who donated $500. That’s amazingly generous.
  • 39 people donated $5, which is also amazingly generous. Seriously, when I see that someone donated $5, I see someone who doesn’t have a ton of money to spare, but is stretching to do something to help anyway. I’m happy to say that one of the people who donated $5 won a set of Shimano Dura-Ace pedals.

This has been a fantastic, inspiring contest. Thank you to everyone in Team Fatty who participated, and a huge thanks to Dustin, who has a huge heart and an amazing amount of determination.

I think the next time we have a bike giveaway loaded up with awesome Shimano componentry, it’s going to mean a lot more to everyone who reads this blog.

Meet the Winner of the Giant TCR Advanced SL With Shimano Dura-Ace Di2 Components

I’ve never received a prize acknowledgement back as quickly as I did from Barry, the winner of the Giant TCR Advanced SL, outfitted with Shimano Dura-Ace Di2 components and Dura-Ace wheels. Barry’s reply? “Please tell me this is not some joke.”

It was no joke.

Here’s a little bit about Barry, in his own words:


I’ve been following your blog for about three years. I think I found out about it when I was looking something up on the Leadville 100. I did the race in ‘99 and ‘01 and was contemplating doing it again (my friend and I may go for it again in ‘12). I’ve followed your site daily since then.

I was touched by your situation with Susan and have experienced the impact of cancer in my family with my grandmother and most recently with my sister-in-law. I’ve donated off and on over the past few years whenever you were raising money.

When I read about Dustin and Michelle, their story motivated me to donate again. I don’t know if it was my sister-in-law recently winning the battle against breast cancer or my desire to complete an Ironman despite my controlled drowning swimming technique and my extreme hatred towards running. Regardless, I was happy to donate and am overwhelmed at actually winning something in return.

So about me – I live in New Jersey with my wife and three kids and we are a biking family. My focus was on mountain biking until just this spring when I purchased my first road bike (you will see it on ebay soon!!). I’ve done my share of races but I’m generally a middle of the pack sport level kind of guy. I completed Leadville twice to get my buckle but I won’t be challenging for the big buckle. I have several friends that are into biking like I am and we do a little bit of everything from road biking to downhill. Surprising to many people, New Jersey is a great place for biking.

I’m still in shock about the new bike. I am starting to work on all kinds of new excuses now about why I’m still slow on a $10,000 bike.

I’ve attached a picture of me on my Lenz Milkmoney singlespeed a month ago down in Virginia. That was my old favorite bike…I have a new one now.


Congratulations, Barry!

Write A Guest Post For Me

I am going to be traveling for work for the next two weeks. For at least one of those weeks, I’d like to feature guest posts.

We’ve done this once before, with the topic “My Proudest Moment” (see here and here and here and here and here). This time, the topic is:

I’ve never suffered as badly on a bike as when . . .

The truth is, rides where everything went right don’t make good stories. And we’ve all had bad days on a bike.

So, write your story for us. It can be serious, funny, contemplative, whatever you like.

When you send me the story, please do the following to make it easy for me:

  1. Make the subject line “I’ve never suffered as badly…” and address it to fatty@fatcyclist.com.
  2. Keep the post to 1200 words or less, please. If you must, the story can be longer, but I notice that readership and comments drop when my posts are too long.
  3. Attach the Word document to your email, and paste the story into the body of the email.
  4. Attach any images (JPG format please) you want to use in the story to the email. Don’t include them in the Word doc. Instead, indicate in double square brackets where the image should go, like this:
  5. Keep the language clean. If I wouldn’t be comfortable saying the words to my 10-year-old daughters, I won’t use them in my blog.
  6. Include a bio (a couple sentences) about yourself, as well as a photo.

Not too hard, right?

I’m looking forward to reading — and posting — your stories!

PS: Mike Levin, longtime friend of fatty and coiner of the “We Want Pie!” mantra, has a relative who’s an international wakeboarding sensation. Noah is in the running for Sports Illustrated “Sports Kid of The Year.” Why don’t you go vote for him, by clicking here.


  1. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 10.13.2011 | 8:45 am

    You work too? (I knew that, but it’s fun to say anyway).

  2. Comment by Wife# 1 | 10.13.2011 | 9:03 am

    Yay for the all the winners and double yay for YSC!

    I may not have won *stuff* but I won by watching Dustin cross that line! We all did! Plus, now I don’t have to worry about trying to trade the ridiculously fantastic bike for some Chris Horner socks.

    -That one goes out for AK Chick in Austin this week :-) We want pics from Mellow Johnny’s-


    “Keep the language clean. If I wouldn’t be comfortable saying the words to my 10-year-old daughters, I won’t use them in my blog….”

    Well that let’s me out as I write like a truck driver with tourettes. So, for prospective bloggers wondering if they might be too spicy, are euphamisms and metaphors acceptable? :-)

    I harken back to a few of your earlier posts, let’s say the one on DZ Nuts, and wonder what the 10 year old daughters think of that?


    Personally, I thought it was $@!%&* hilarious! But I am sure our 10 y/o daughter would first say “eeeuuuwwww” followed up by wanting a highly technical and detailed explanation of “taint”. LOL!

  3. Comment by Wife# 1 | 10.13.2011 | 9:12 am

    Whoops – looking like a poser as I accidently italicized my last paragraph. Was just supposed to be a single word. I’ve said it before… gawd I wish we could edit our own comments. Is this wordpress?

    Yep, WordPress, and a site (and especially comments) overhaul is long overdue. – FC

  4. Comment by Roger Whitney | 10.13.2011 | 9:19 am

    safe travels Fatty

  5. Comment by AK_Chick | 10.13.2011 | 9:25 am

    Wife #1, oh there will most definitely be pictures! :) Will try to find socks today.

    Very tempting to submit a post for the blog…

    Also, how is it the year I pick to go to Austin, I will not get to meet the most famous, fabulous, super-fantastic, otherworldly, massive quad wielding Fatty? Sigh. I always seem to have the worst timing. I guess I’ll have to console myself with Mellow Johnnys on Sat.

    Safe Travels, Elden!!!

  6. Comment by Jacob | 10.13.2011 | 9:27 am

    Yeah, that DZ Nuts article linked above triggered my workplace’s obscenity filter. I have no idea if it’s vulgar or not. My work’s internet filter is ridiculously bad.

    It’s not vulgar, but I do use a couple of words that accurately describe the affected areas of the product. – FC

  7. Comment by Mark in Ottawa | 10.13.2011 | 9:29 am

    Congrats to all the winners…the biggest being YSC and the fight against cancer.

    Fatty, any rules about how long the guest blog post should be?

    Mark (in Ottawa, Canada)

    Excellent question, and I’m updating the post to include an answer. 1200 words is where things start to feel longish. – FC

  8. Comment by rich | 10.13.2011 | 9:59 am

    Congrats to the winners and to a very worthy cause!
    Pretty sure my winning email must be lost in the great bberry outage…. :-)

  9. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 10.13.2011 | 10:01 am

    You know Barry, despite three kids and the future of college, I think your ‘old’ bike would make a great future prize in a Fatty contest. Pay it forward, so to speak.

  10. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 10.13.2011 | 10:12 am

    @AK CHICK Fatty is just stringing you along…he’s like that. He’s looking forward to your trip to Southern California next year for the Tour de Pink. You like people So. Cal has PEOPLE. Kinda like the Kenai on the night before opening day:SPORTFISHlr.jpg

  11. Comment by Sara | 10.13.2011 | 10:19 am

    Hey, Fatty, I think there were probably some people who did write-ups for the 100MON event this past year that didn’t get used or referenced. Any chance those posts might sometime be used or maybe someday you could just have a post where people leave links to their write-ups in the comments section. ???

  12. Comment by KK | 10.13.2011 | 10:30 am

    Barry C in NJ?

    I went to high school in NJ with a Barry C, graduated 1979. Barry, if that’s you, let me know when you are VA-bound again — I ride just fast enough to endo.

    Kelly K

  13. Comment by KK | 10.13.2011 | 10:32 am

    Oops – email doesn’t show — I’ll try Facebook.

  14. Comment by Elizabeth | 10.13.2011 | 10:39 am

    A relative of the “We Want Pie!” guy? Of course I’ll vote!

  15. Comment by Paul Guyot | 10.13.2011 | 10:59 am

    You already read my “..never suffered as badly…” post.

    It was this year’s 100MON.

    Congrats to Team Fatty again leading the charge.

    Off to Austin!

  16. Comment by Aimless King | 10.13.2011 | 11:13 am

    How is Bucky not in the running for the SI Kid of the year??! He’s a cycling legend, and would have had my vote instantly!

  17. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 10.13.2011 | 11:23 am

    @Paul Guyot I think you’ve got another ’suffering post’ in you. C’mon, step into the fray.

  18. Comment by MattC | 10.13.2011 | 11:25 am

    Oooh….maybe my HOME email has a very special message awaiting my response…(please please please…I totally covet the Dura Ace C50 wheels). I didn’t have a lot to donate, but calculated my ‘odds’ of around 1 in 880. I still have hope. Congrats Barry C…enjoy your most AWESOME new steed! I’m dripping w/ envy! Congrats to Dustin, Team Fatty for the awesome response, AND all the winners, whoever you are!

    And to Team Fatty Austin…make us proud this weekend! Wish I could make it this year but it wasn’t to be from the very start. The event is an absolute BLAST! Austin is a very cool town! (also note: the final power-stop was run by Mellow Johnny’s …and they had ICE COLD DRAFT BEER! Just remember that…cuz I MISSED IT!)

    ALSO NOTE: For the Sunday ride: Make SURE you leave WAY WAY WAY early from town to get to the start in plenty of time to park and get your bag to the bag-drop and finally get in the proper starting area…(that is if the start is still way out in the boonies like it was 2 years ago…what was it, Dripping Springs or something like that?) You look at the map and think it will take roughly ‘x’ amount of time…trust me…the little 2 lane roads can’t handle the thousands of vehicles all converging on that little area at O-Dark-Thirty…it will take longer than you think.

    Enjoy the day (and the chipseal)! And someone try to get a team picture too!

  19. Comment by Dave T | 10.13.2011 | 11:56 am

    Hey Fatty thank you for all that you do you are truly a gifted writer and manage to inspire great thing with your writing, have a safe trip.
    @Paul Guyot Have a great time at the Livestrong challenge ride in Austin this weekend.

  20. Comment by AngieG | 10.13.2011 | 12:30 pm

    Team Fatty Austiner’s- @ MattC is a little off. It was the second to the last rest top and it was Beer and Margaritas. And he missed it because he was in “serious” rider mode as oppose to his brother GregC and I who were in “Hell Yeah, I’m a Fatty Having Fun on My Bike” mode. We did not miss the beer and margarita stop! :-)

    He is right about the traffice. Also make sure noone forgets their helmet. If they do, check with the medical tent, they may have a spare…right GregC?

    Have a blast you guys!!

  21. Comment by MarkJ | 10.13.2011 | 12:49 pm

    I won the Dura Ace pedals! What a great thing to find in my inbox this morning. I had actually just finished reading Dustin’s race report about an hour before I got the good news. What an inspiring story. Cheers to Dustin and Fatty!

  22. Comment by Justin L. | 10.13.2011 | 2:14 pm

    Elden, Two questions.
    Don’t know if i was dreaming or if i read it, is twin six going to have Fat cyclist tshirts for christmas time. Also when is the rest of their inventory going to be for sale. Wishing i ordered a few more things. Love the stuff this year.

  23. Comment by zeeeter | 10.13.2011 | 2:48 pm

    Hey JustinK. Might want to check twinsix.com now.

    Just sayin . . .

  24. Comment by zeeeter | 10.13.2011 | 2:48 pm

    Goshdarned no editing! :) That’ll be Justin L. but you knew that didn’t you?

  25. Comment by NYCCarlos | 10.13.2011 | 3:29 pm

    @JustinL – you asked, you received. They’re all back up on sale TODAY!

  26. Comment by Barry C | 10.13.2011 | 4:09 pm

    Fatty and All,

    I am still in shock at the great blessing I received today in winning the bike. Davidh – your idea of paying it forward is good but I will be selling my old bike to pay the taxes on the new bike. However, I will be making an additional cash donation to the Young Survival Coalition.

    Kelly K – no I did not go to school in NJ. I’m originally from Virginia and went to high school and college there.

    Thanks again Fatty and Dustin for all you do in the fight against cancer and your support for patients and their families.

  27. Comment by Jim B | 10.13.2011 | 4:38 pm

    I would be like Barry, not sure how I would even get on a 10K bike.

    I’m used to my slog-it-along LHT, me riding that new bike would be like a 20 year old clydsdale running the Kentucky Derby!

    Have fun with it Barry!!!!

  28. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 10.13.2011 | 5:02 pm

    I’m pretty sure for tax purposes it’s a 1K bike. Or like one’s yacht, just take delivery out of the country, then bring it back later as personal property.

  29. Comment by Cali_Lady | 10.13.2011 | 6:00 pm

    Congrats to all the contest winners!
    Ya know, everyone has their favorite aspects of this blog. Of course, all the fundraising done for important causes is fantastic! The great bike stories/race reports, combined with the huge entertainment factor – keeps readers coming back for more. Personally, I love Fatty’s writing style, and he totally CRACKS me up! Haha! And I also really like the guest posts for a little variety. So I’m totally looking forward to reading the upcoming guest posts from ‘friends of Fatty’!!! YAY!

  30. Comment by Justin L. | 10.13.2011 | 7:54 pm

    Zeeter and Carlos thanks, I posted that right after i had checked the twin six website, they must have heard me. Used my fatty discount code and ordered things i should not have, dang you fatty and twin six.

  31. Comment by Bike and the Fat Man | 10.14.2011 | 10:00 am

    Congrats to the winners…Fatty sent along the blog to you…Hopefully my work email was working properly! You and yours have a safe trip!

  32. Comment by gregc | 10.14.2011 | 10:20 am

    Livestrong Austin- as AngieG says, the ride start is a long long ways from downtown in horrible 2 lane traffic, give yourself a lot of time. And dont leave your helmet on your hotel bed like I did. but if you do, go by the medical tent, the lead medical person (and I appologize as I cant remember her name) found me a helmet to borrow and saved the day. I’ve talked to her at each of the livestrong events I’ve been able to ride in since, she is super nice! And lastly, if your in Austin on saturday, consider taking part in one of the mellow Johnny sponcered rides, MattC, AngieG and I did a 15 miles Austin sightseeing tour/ ride with them, fanatstic!

  33. Comment by Mark in Ottawa | 10.17.2011 | 6:42 am

    Submitted my story yesterday evening – thanks again for the opportunity to try to contribute to the site that makes my workdays immeasurably better!

    Mark (in Ottawa, Canada)

  34. Pingback by Fat Cyclist » Blog Archive » Heather’s Tour de Pink Ride Report | 10.20.2011 | 10:35 pm

    [...] Note from Fatty: Thanks to the $21,000+ Team Fatty raised for Young Survival Coalition — and because I couldn’t go myself — I got to assign a person to represent Team [...]

  35. Comment by lisa - YSC | 10.22.2011 | 3:15 pm

    Fatty, Dustin and everyone who donated – THANK YOU!!!! YSC and Tour de Pink are so proud of you and everyone who participated in the fundraising and the ride. And thanks for sending us Heather and Erik – they were an amazing part of the family.

    When we started TDP in 2004 we had no idea what it could or would become. It’s truly inspired us all to do what we can and not wait – like Dustin for Michelle.

    thank you again and Barry C – enjoy!


    co-founder YSC Tour de Pink – 2 time bc survivor and huge fan of Fatty and Dustin!


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