I Believe I May Be The Best Cyclist In The World

03.6.2012 | 11:29 am

I have been thinking about myself lately and have come to the conclusion that I am, in many (perhaps most, and possibly all) ways the epitome of what a cyclist should be. Which is to say, I pedal smooth circles. I wear my glasses on the outside of my helmet straps. I shave my head to increase my aerodynamic properties.

I carefully match my shorts to my jersey, which are both matched to my socks. I have both a black helmet and a white helmet, and my selection of which I shall wear on a given day depend on a carefully-considered algorithm that takes weather, duration of ride, and what I am wearing into account.

I shave my legs thrice weekly. Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, since I am sure you are wondering.

I have a bike for every occasion I can think of, as well as a couple of bikes for which I have not yet thought of occasions, but anticipate some appropriate occasion arising, at some point in the future, and thus want to be prepared for this hypothetical cycling opportunity (E.g., I have a track bike, just in case a velodrome appears nearby; I also have a second track bike, in case a friend wants to come along to the suddenly-existing velodrome).

I also have a cyclocross bike, although I defy the current cyclocross fad by not using it. Once all the cycling magpies have turned their attention elsewhere, I shall commence to race cyclocross, and am confident I shall dominate my racing category, just as I do in any

Further, I revel in all aspects of cycling. Which is to say, I relish a good climb and celebrate the agony of really good climb. I ride with unparalleled power when on the flats, my quads a bottomless pit of smooth strength.

I take my turn pulling, and keep the group together with an almost preternatural sense of how the paceline behind me is doing. I pull just hard enough that nobody gets a free ride, but not so hard that I drop others. When people finish riding with me, they often describe the experience as “transcendental,” even if they are not familiar with what the word “transcendental” even means.

I hold my line.

I offer advice, but only helpful advice. I avoid indulging in passing along speculative opinions offered by others, preferring instead to offer practical, time-tested guidance based on an unimpeachable source: myself.

I am well-versed in the goings-on in the world of pro cycling. I do this primarily because pro cyclists are always contacting me, asking me for advice on nutritional strategies and race tactics. At some point, I am going to have to call Levi Leipheimer and tell him to stop giving out my number, because it’s starting to get tiresome. If they offered to pay for this advice, that would be different, but you’d be astonished at what cheapskates most pro cyclists are.

I know exactly what to wear for any cycling occasion. Is it sunny now, but the weather prediction is for sleet in one hour, followed by rain, followed by wind and then sun again? I will layer properly for the ride and never be uncomfortable during said ride. My weather / clothing sense is uncanny. It cannot be canned. Don’t even try to can it.

I am willing to hear other opinions. When I render a verdict, however, you can be confident that it is correct, and you will be well-served to adopt my point of view as your own.

I pick the right line. Follow it without question, and your riding experience will be vastly superior to the one you would have had in the event you had followed any other line.

When I race, I race to win. And yet, I am able to separate the experience from the objective, so that even as I am turning myself out with an intensity you can’t even imagine (go ahead and try. There. You failed.), I am likely to notice the beauty of both the site and sound of a leaf as it rustles on a branch as I go by. After the race is over, I will congratulate those both those I defeated, and those whom I allowed to go on ahead of me, as a courtesy, because I know that some people are not self-actualized and therefore need external validation to feel good about themselves.

I use nothing but the very finest lubricants for my bicycle chains.

I can ride for hours — or, should I choose to prove a point, for days — without food or drink. However, when I do eat something while riding, I easily and fluidly reach behind me and grab whatever it is I am going to eat, remove the wrapper, eat the food, and then put the wrapper back in my jersey pocket — all without any difficulty whatsoever. During this process, I do not deviate even half an inch off my line.

Finally, I can ride no-handed.

I assure you that as efforless as I make this look, It is not easy — indeed, it takes a great deal of work — to be the finest cyclist in the world. I do it for you (and others like you), however, because I want you to have something to aspire to.

You’re welcome.


  1. Comment by RodNeeds2Ride | 03.6.2012 | 11:34 am

    Awesome! Another great Fatty moment.

    Is your inner cheek sore from your tongue jabbing it mercilessly while you wrote this? :)

  2. Comment by Zach | 03.6.2012 | 11:43 am

    I had no idea the only thing standing between myself and cycling perfection was a second, black helmet to go with my white one.

    I can only hope to aspire to such greatness as you personify. Thank you, Fatty, just for being you.

  3. Comment by Darrin | 03.6.2012 | 11:47 am

    Sounds like a new Flobots song.

  4. Comment by rich | 03.6.2012 | 11:53 am


  5. Comment by onomastic | 03.6.2012 | 11:54 am

    Thank you for the reminder.

    I was getting a little self-absorbed and had forgotten: I am only the second best cyclist in the world. I could shave my legs, I suppose, but I am not doing that bald thing.

    I know, a shame to let vanity get between me and Number One. So, Number Two, but with good hair.

  6. Comment by Liz | 03.6.2012 | 11:54 am

    You forgot to mention that you are the very soul of modesty, too!

  7. Comment by Doug (Way upstate NY) | 03.6.2012 | 11:55 am

    I hear by cede my position as best cyclist in the world to you. Out of choice and politeness of course.

  8. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.6.2012 | 12:03 pm

    So if I read this correctly, so what I need to become a better cyclist is MORE BIKES! Yeah Me.

    Wait till Wife#1 reads this!!!

    Thank you Fatty, wait till Wife#1 reads this….she’ll thank you too. Hah!

  9. Comment by GenghisKhan | 03.6.2012 | 12:09 pm

    You may not be the only one who can ride your bike with no handlebars…


  10. Comment by zeeeter | 03.6.2012 | 12:15 pm

    Excellent. I’m sure it’s sight though. Site doesn’t seem quite right. Yep. Sight. There!

    I bet through natural evolution and selection you don’t even need to use DZNUTZ any more either? Too funny!

  11. Comment by KM | 03.6.2012 | 12:20 pm

    Wow, I think I’m a better cyclist now that I read that. I’ll just have to be happy being a mid-pack best cyclist in the world now. Apparently I need to shave my legs more and lose the hair on my head in order to move up. I’ll bet Assoss and Rapha call you to see what you’re wearing and then copy it…

  12. Comment by Marc | 03.6.2012 | 12:29 pm


  13. Comment by Dave T | 03.6.2012 | 12:31 pm

    Thanks Fatty for the inspiring post. Clearly what is holding me back is not using the correct chain lube.

  14. Comment by nh_joe | 03.6.2012 | 12:33 pm

    Any news on 100 MoN? I was hoping to do my edition soon before race season starts up!

  15. Comment by Sean | 03.6.2012 | 12:36 pm

    I don’t know which meme is more appropriate, Dos Equis or Chuck Norris. Something like this -

    He lives vicariously throug himself…


    Fatty once broke the land speed record on a mountain bike with no chain and a flat tire

  16. Comment by mike | 03.6.2012 | 12:37 pm

    and you don’t always drink beer….but when you do, you drink DOS Equis!

  17. Comment by David Hendry | 03.6.2012 | 12:38 pm

    It seems that you forgot the most important part of your greatness, that being the perfect amount of humility, thus creating yet another area in which so many pro and even cat3 riders regard themselves. If only we mortals could approach this level of humbility the world would be a better place and human suffering would be relegated to the history books where it belongs. Thank you.

  18. Comment by fult23 | 03.6.2012 | 1:02 pm

    I only have one blue helmet. I suck!

  19. Comment by German Ospina | 03.6.2012 | 1:05 pm

    I’m sorry to say, but I’m a better cyclist and,if I chose to participate in run events (as long as 5k) or triathlons, a better athlete. Pros are always “giving it their all”. I am also “giving it my all”. This means that, on average, I can go 30-40 minutes (and sometimes hours) longer than a so-called pro. It means I am better

  20. Comment by mtb w | 03.6.2012 | 1:07 pm

    Fatty is “The Most Interesting Cyclist In the World”!

    Hmm, why am I suddenly craving a Dos Equis?

  21. Comment by yannb | 03.6.2012 | 1:12 pm

    @sean, Was thinking about the dos equis guy as well.

    I love these two quotes:

    He lives vicariously throug himself…


    Fatty once broke the land speed record on a mountain bike with no chain and a flat tire36gtac

  22. Comment by yannb | 03.6.2012 | 1:13 pm

    here’s the meme


  23. Comment by JRay | 03.6.2012 | 1:21 pm

    I am humbled by your modesty…

  24. Comment by Fat_Elvis | 03.6.2012 | 1:29 pm

    So help me here…

    you shave your head for aerodynamic qualities, but then wear the same helmet on top that you would if you had hair…

    I ride in a jumpsuit… still trying to figure out what to do with my bell-bottoms.

    the king lives.

  25. Comment by AKChick55 | 03.6.2012 | 1:48 pm

    I bow to your greatness. >bowing deeply, falling over, checking to see if anyone noticed<

    Let's see I have a hardtail MTB, a super sweet cyclocross bike, and an entry-level roadie. I'm missing a fat tire bike (really could use one since we are on track to break the all-time snow record in Anchorage), a carbon fiber bike, a cruiser, and I'm sure there are more I'm missing.

    Maybe you could come out with a line of videos that we could watch while riding the trainer? You know, like those fitness videos that promise you'll lose weight, etc.? You could wax poetic about the benefits of shaving (I'm a girl so I shave almost every day, but draw the line at shaving my head), you could demonstrate how to properly maintain your bike (different videos for cross, road, mtb, etc.), how to select the proper riding attire for the occassion/conditions, how to lube your chain properly (inappropriate thought – that's what she said!), etc. Possible titles: Shave with Biking King Fatty, The Proper Way to Lube Your Chain as Demonstrated by He Who Shall Not Be Named Because He is Too Good For You to Drop His Name From Your Lips, Quads of Steel by the King of Quads, etc.

    Whatcha think? :)

  26. Comment by Bryce | 03.6.2012 | 2:08 pm

    I will quote Zeeter: “I bet through natural evolution and selection you don’t even need to use DZNUTZ any more either?”

    Enuf said!

  27. Comment by Skinny Durante | 03.6.2012 | 2:12 pm

    You’d make a killing selling canned weather/clothing sense, I tell ya! You’d be rolling! It can’t miss!

  28. Comment by Michael | 03.6.2012 | 2:15 pm

    “(go ahead and try. There. You failed.)” – this was classic!

    I waited in vain for the “Chuck Norris is moving to Utah just to join my Tuesday night ride group” joke, but it never manifested itself.

    You know, I’ve never really gotten the whole Chuck Norris thing. – FC

  29. Comment by Big E | 03.6.2012 | 2:15 pm

    Distilled from only the purest awesomeness. Thank you.

  30. Comment by hellpellet | 03.6.2012 | 2:22 pm

    Truly you are.

    And you’re also a magnificent writer. This is line that really cemented that for me,
    “I use nothing but the very finest lubricants for my bicycle chains.”

    You should be chuckling all the way to the bank with that one.

  31. Comment by Christopher | 03.6.2012 | 2:24 pm

    Perfectly done. This is why i keep reading this blog (and all the cancer fighting fundraisers, of course). Thanks for another legendary post.

  32. Comment by Jeff Dieffenbach | 03.6.2012 | 2:29 pm

    Two words: Jens Voigt.

    Sheesh. That guy is constantly bugging me for advice. I swear, I’m going to start screening his calls. – FC

  33. Comment by Eric L | 03.6.2012 | 2:44 pm

    You forgot one gem I found in your book. You said you were an accomplished yodeler.

    If team Fatty is #1 fundraising team in Davis this year will you break out a yodel for us?

    I’ve decided your book is much like having a big can of Almond Roca. You want to read it slowly and savor it, but you also just want to read one more post, then another, then another. It’s a yummy tasty book Fatty.

    and I really DO wanna hear you yodel.

  34. Comment by Rob W | 03.6.2012 | 2:57 pm

    The only thing that can truly humble you is a good headlock!! And I can oblige …..lol !

  35. Comment by centurion | 03.6.2012 | 2:58 pm

    Note to self; send Levi a check with instructions to put FC in a headlock, for 6 hours.

  36. Comment by Clydesteve | 03.6.2012 | 2:59 pm

    Fatty – 4 paragraphs did not start with “I”. Attention to details, buddy. You need to get it right if you are perfect! :-)

  37. Comment by Shep | 03.6.2012 | 3:04 pm

    I have left Fatty’s blog and now find myself in Nirvana.
    Thank you for sharing your all-knowing and never-ending wisdom Buddha (no “bald, fat guy” pun intended).

  38. Comment by Shep | 03.6.2012 | 3:06 pm

    On the Chuck Norris front, the Slovakians are wanting to build a bridge and name it after Chuck. The problem is…NOBODY CROSSES CHUCK NORRIS!

  39. Comment by Jase | 03.6.2012 | 3:24 pm

    Not the best blogger though … there’s a typo/redundant word in the sixth to last paragraph. “I will congratulate those both those I have defeated …”


    So if the best cyclist in the world makes a typographical error in his column where he proclaims to be the best cyclist in the world, was the typo ever really there?

    And if it fell in the woods, would it make a sound?

  40. Comment by roan | 03.6.2012 | 3:30 pm

    HuH ? your point is ?
    Oh Yes there it is…chain lube !

    I’ll need to stop using the grease off my burger when I make a fuel stop.

    Will try the packets of DZNuts for chain lube…was so disappointed that no real nuts were used to make that product.

    So what is the best lube ?

  41. Comment by Full Monte | 03.6.2012 | 3:39 pm

    Ah, but I am the best Fred! I grow my leg hair daily. I wear a beard, but not a long one. But still, it’s a beard. I’m overweight. I have a bike that’s two or three levels too advanced for my ability. I just learned about the sunglass stems going outside the straps a couple months ago, and before that, was doing it wrong. I’m hopelessly clueless about pro racing, yet can Fred alldaylong about the Tour de France and annoy everyone for three solid weeks. I crash. Hard. Cuz I over-ride my ability. I don’t drink enough early enough and end up with cotton mouth every single time with that white, dry crinkly stuff in the corners of my mouth people try not to stare at when I talk to them. I’ve snotrocketed myself and not known it till I got home and my wife asked, “Ew, what is THAT?” I spend too much on kit that still doesn’t hide the fact I’m overweight — No, those are not love-handles that’s internal Eurocut Jersey Pocket Technology. Really. Okay, stop looking at my stomach. I’m the best Fred. Best. Ever. Don’t even try to out-Fred me.

  42. Comment by ScottR | 03.6.2012 | 3:57 pm

    “my quads a bottomless pit of smooth strength”

    Why am I guessing that Twin Six needed new material for more Fatty t-shirts? :-)

  43. Comment by Miles Archer | 03.6.2012 | 4:23 pm

    What happened to your unicycle?

  44. Comment by Dpierce | 03.6.2012 | 4:45 pm

    All of that may well in fact be true. But I happened to see you and the hammer out running on Saturday. She was a picture of precision decked out in her Stylish FC gear, but the guy slogging along behind her was barely recognizable as a runner, clomping along struggling to keep up. And yes it seems our hero was attempting to run incognito, by not wearing the FC gear so as to not be recognized as “the guy who just got chicked”. But does it really count if it is your wife, and you are not really into running? Thoughts to ponder.

  45. Comment by Triflefat | 03.6.2012 | 6:34 pm

    At last Fatty has nailed his colours (get over the spelling people, it’s the way most of the world spells it) to the mast and claimed his rightful place in the world of cycling. No more false modesty or hiding his light under a bushel.

    My favourite (let it go people) quote?

    “After the race is over, I will congratulate [those] both those I defeated, and those whom I allowed to go on ahead of me, as a courtesy, because I know that some people are not self-actualized and therefore need external validation to feel good about themselves.”

    Even with an extraneous “those”, there’s your wordsmith, right there.

  46. Comment by Fattodd | 03.6.2012 | 7:00 pm

    That’s all, Fatty? Jeez, I do all that plus–

    I have a variety of different colorred pedals to match my chosen kit.

    I regulary stop mid-ride to adjust my tires to the absolute perfect air pressure. Those I am riding with not only don’t mind, but enjoy learning about air pressure to temperature ratios.

    My water bottles match my pedals.

    I crush the mountains of Florida.

    I leave food wrappers, empty gel packs, and bottles along the side of the ride as souverniors for the people lucky enough to have me ride past their homes.

    Finally, not only can I ride no-handed, but I can steer with, well, nevermind this one…

  47. Comment by blair | 03.6.2012 | 7:59 pm

    i rode today

    in the wind

  48. Comment by Actionbent04 | 03.6.2012 | 8:27 pm

    Look out Jens Voigt here comes Fatty.
    I really loved this post.
    Thanks for making my day.


  49. Comment by Gabi | 03.6.2012 | 8:41 pm

    Wow you sure got me beat. Today as I bought pink arm warmers I realized nothing I own matches. I will try to learn from you.

  50. Comment by Chris | 03.6.2012 | 8:47 pm

    I met someone from Utah today at work, he didn’t know you. Is that possible?

  51. Comment by Eric | 03.6.2012 | 10:10 pm

    I will never understand the helmet straps under the glasses thing…at least twice a year a bee or hornet flies into one of my helmet vents and I can whip that thing off in 2 seconds and shoo it away before I get stung. With glasses on the outside it you can’t do this.

  52. Comment by Wife#1 | 03.6.2012 | 10:11 pm

    More bikes DavidinMarin… MORE?!!! Damn you husband, you got me sidetracked from the awesomeness that is Fatty for a moment when the flashing dollar signs blinded me.

    Fatty…. how it is possible that in 886 words constituting 19 paragraphs of silken hyperbole that you only mention your quads once?

    I mean, really. Speaking for the married broads in this crowd, we perk up at any mention of awesome quads, and surely yours have played a notable role in making you the legend you are today? Granted in the case of a rider like, let’s say, Spartacus, we actually swoon (and sometimes drool but I’ll deny it under oath) at his massive and oh-so-perfect quadage, but HE is not the perfect cyclist because I heard that Andy Schleck told Phil Liggett that Fabian does NOT use the very finest lubricants for his bicycle chains. Cretin.

    So what I’m saying is… more quadbell!

  53. Comment by Frank | 03.6.2012 | 10:14 pm

    You forgot to mention how well you write an opening sentence – to grab the attention of the casual cycling reader and then hold them so well with your prose – even to the last sentence – leaving them with the thirst for more! Is that a Haiku?

  54. Comment by Tom | 03.6.2012 | 10:19 pm

    We would be privileged to have a rider of your caliber join us for the Central Oregon 500.

  55. Comment by LoPhat | 03.6.2012 | 11:14 pm

    You lost me when you said “ep-e-tome”

  56. Comment by Jenn | 03.7.2012 | 12:16 am

    Two things: enlighten me, please, someone, on the glasses outside the straps? I think I go both ways (heh heh heh), not really giving it any thought, which is apparently very wrong.

    Also? Where’s Dr. Lammler when you need him?

  57. Comment by Skippy | 03.7.2012 | 1:55 am

    So wearing the helmet straps over the glasses stems makes me a non conformist ? Not having shaved the head slows me down ? Not shaving the legs regularly is problematic ? Wearing ” phonak ” uniform because noone else wears it around here .
    Guess i need to do more to get into the spirit of blogging since i am not even the best aussie cyclist in this part of Austria ! Hope those few i meet on the road today as i go ride in the zillertal don’t point up all these shortcomings that Fatty has raised .
    Suns up and can’t find the right colour helmet for todays ride , oh well , coordination crashes again .

  58. Comment by Tim the Austrian | 03.7.2012 | 5:07 am

    Life imitates Art, the following URL is for real and for you.

  59. Comment by Steven Gray | 03.7.2012 | 6:08 am

    I totally agree with you! I am an avid cyclist and I have a whole range of stuff, from the helmet to the lights and whatnot, all from OnlineSports.com. I have a Montague 20″ Paratrooper Military Folding Mountain Bike which is an excellent bike. Very sturdy.

  60. Comment by Mike | 03.7.2012 | 6:40 am

    I do all that while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes.

  61. Comment by Mandy from KS | 03.7.2012 | 8:17 am

    If you owned a recumbent you’d have a nice tushy to compliment your quads.

  62. Comment by daddyo | 03.7.2012 | 8:24 am


  63. Comment by Joe in San Diego | 03.7.2012 | 10:11 am

    What about riding a wheelie for at least half a city block on your retro Schwinn stingray bike? WAIT! Do you even have a retro Schwinn stingray? Are all the city blocks in Utah straight up a mountain?

  64. Comment by Jeff Bike | 03.7.2012 | 10:16 am

    I humbly beg your forbearance. I don’t own enough bikes, helmets, shoes, my kits don’t match, my quads need work, my leg hair grows stubby between shaves, I have helmet hair, I often get my glasses and straps half right (one in, one out), I peddle in squares, I hate climbing (I can hardly get over an overpass), I’m not into agony, I only take a turn at the front of a pace line on each and every downhill then try to sprint out ahead of the rest so they think I’m fast, I don’t know what it is to ever pick the right line, I need a slice of pizza and a beer every mile or so. What I really must know is: what is chain lube for?

  65. Comment by hughonabike | 03.7.2012 | 10:42 am

    Hell, and I thought I was the best. Just goes to show there is always someone out there that is just…….better! However I’ll wager that I am heavier, can’t seem to lose an ounce of weight and ride a Pugsley,. That’s gotta count for something…….?

  66. Comment by Brian in VA | 03.7.2012 | 10:54 am

    I’m just glad to read about you. Pure awesomeness!

  67. Comment by MikeL | 03.7.2012 | 1:20 pm

    My aren’t we full of ourself today? ;=)
    Although admittedly desrved.

  68. Comment by The Bikinator | 03.7.2012 | 1:25 pm

    I love it! I often see myself the same way. As I ride in a group, I naturally assume that the other riders are very interested in how I’m riding, what my form looks like, and what I’m wearing. I mean why wouldn’t they, right?

  69. Comment by Steve | 03.7.2012 | 1:51 pm

    I already knew you were awesome, but when are we going to start our weight loss competition so we can all be awesome like you.

  70. Comment by Kukui | 03.7.2012 | 2:09 pm

    Thank you, Fatty!

    You didn’t include the most important reason why you’re the best cyclist in the world: You deign to lower yourself to speak at our level, to share all your wisdom and experience, that we may see what can be attained when one is the best.

    Thank you for your humble words that brighten the day of all us lower cyclists! =)

  71. Comment by MattC | 03.7.2012 | 3:03 pm

    I just did the math and have determined that I am the 316,983,275,974th best cyclist in the world. But I constantly strive to be # 316,983,275,973rd.

    Someday soon I shall realize my dream. Oh yes.

    (that guy is 98 years old…if you can’t beat-em, out-live em…that’s what I always say!)

  72. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.7.2012 | 3:22 pm

    @MasttC Am I mistaken, are you saying you are the 316,983,275,973 BILLIONTH best Rider? Was there a population bubble I missed? No wonder tube prices are on the rise.

  73. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.7.2012 | 3:22 pm

    Sorry, That was @MattC

  74. Comment by Susie H | 03.7.2012 | 3:23 pm

    May I say that I cannot wait for Davis, so that my husband might finally meet the awesomeness that is the Fatcyclist!

  75. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.7.2012 | 3:29 pm

    @MattC On a plus side fix your commas and you’ll move up 209 BILLION Places just like that!

    Current World Population:
    According to the United Nations, (“2010 Revision of the World Population Prospects”) world population has reached 7 Billion on October 31, 2011


  76. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.7.2012 | 3:37 pm

    @Susie H

    Like the Mayan Gods of old he’ll need to bring an offering. My suggestion:


  77. Comment by Bill H-D | 03.7.2012 | 4:01 pm

    Does anyone else get the idea that Fatty is now just writing posts so that he can have something upon which to add hilarious annotation commentary in his next book? Like being his own straight man?

    Yeah, me neither. :)

  78. Comment by Ian | 03.7.2012 | 4:30 pm

    I like this post for the use of the word preternatural.

  79. Comment by Trailer Park Cyclist | 03.7.2012 | 5:00 pm

    “I have been thinking about myself lately…”

    What an opening! A knockout punch at the beginning of the first round! Loaded to the top with twisted irony, elegant foreshadowing and more than a little pathos.

    Dadaesque, my friend. The inherent nihilistic wit of that statement is a refreshing mirror of the soul, a sly evocation of an image that would give Nietzsche night sweats and turn Kafka into a an exterminator.

    But wasn’t it the opening line of an old Stones tune?

    Or something David Frost once said…but not important. I had to look up the spelling of Nietzsche. Turns out his first name was Phred.


  80. Comment by KanyonKris | 03.7.2012 | 5:11 pm

    You lost me at “pedal smooth circles”.

  81. Comment by Limey | 03.7.2012 | 7:14 pm

    I’m with @Jeff Bike, what is chain lube for?

  82. Comment by Michael | 03.7.2012 | 9:56 pm

    You know, I’ve never really gotten the whole Chuck Norris thing. – FC

    That’s okay, I don’t think it’s particularly funny anyway. It just seemed like it belonged in there.

  83. Comment by bart | 03.8.2012 | 12:49 am

    great post !

  84. Comment by NW Biker | 03.8.2012 | 10:50 am

    Very good…and modest, too. But, sorry to say, you lost a few points with “’site’ and sound.” Sad.

  85. Comment by ArjanH | 03.8.2012 | 12:03 pm


    Fatty, I think you might be my long lost identical twin. Apart from the shaved head thing that is. Except, I am way better looking. LOL

  86. Comment by Chris S | 03.8.2012 | 5:12 pm

    Humbled, I am!

  87. Comment by jbuddhac | 03.12.2012 | 10:25 am

    BUT can you roll a cruzer hands free?


  88. Comment by Peter | 03.14.2012 | 6:33 pm

    Thank you.


Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.