I Have Valuable Suggestions and Advice I’d Like To Offer You, Just In Case You Win My Contest and Choose an Ibis Mojo SL as Your Prize

06.18.2012 | 12:41 pm

An “It’s My Birthday; Buy Me a Present” Note from Fatty: I’m 46 years old as of today, which means that I’m closer to 90 than to being born. Make me feel better about this fact by buying me a present. Specifically, how about going and donating $5 or $10 at my LiveStrong Challenge page? As a side benefit, doing so gives you a chance at winning the trip and bike I’ve been talking about (and in fact will be talking about in the rest of this post).

We’re down to the last few days of the big contest I’ve been running — the one where you can win your choice of four Ibis bike models, outfitted with top-end Shimano components. And also the one where you get flown to SLC where you’ll get that bike professionally fitted for you at SLC Bicycle Company.

And then you and I shall have a grand time as I show you some of the local rides here (or in another part of Utah if it makes more sense).

Today, I would like to offer a suggestion or two as to what that trip might look like, should you choose the Ibis Mojo SL.


We Should Just Stay Local

Once your bike is fitted for you, we should waste no time at all on traveling. Instead, we should head straight for Corner Canyon, where I will show you mile upon mile of extraordinary singletrack.

And I’m not kidding about the “mile upon mile” thing, either. Yesterday, The Hammer and I went on a ride at Corner Canyon where we purposefully avoided repeating any trail.

After 30.7 miles of singletrack heaven we ran out of water and came home. And there was still plenty of trail we had not touched.

Then, maybe the next day, we would head out to American Fork Canyon, to ride the trail that inspired my post about how a trail is like a lover: Tibble Fork:

Of course, if you’re not looking to do something quite that brutal (though beautiful), there are other options in American Fork Canyon. Lots and lots of options.

We Should Go On a Road Trip

Or you know, maybe you already have a ton of perfect forested singletrack near your home, and you’re interested in something a little more desert-like.

I can help you there.

We could head out to Moab and ride what is probably the most famous trail in the world: The Slickrock Trail.

Or ride around the White Rim.

Or, if you’re completely nuts, we could ride the Kokopelli Trail (but first I’m going to need an proof from you that you’re up for it).

There are no bad options at Moab.

But maybe you’re thinking Moab is too cliche. Everyone goes to Moab; you want to do something different.

In which case, I’d be happy to take you to ride the grand trifecta of Southern Utah Mountain Biking in Saint George, Utah:

The problem with doing all those rides is that you would fall so in love with your bike, the trails and me for connecting you to the bike and trails that you would give me a suffocating, unbearably long embrace and I would pass out due to your gratitude.

But I’m OK with that, just this once.

Or . . .

And you know what? You kinda don’t even have to choose whether you want to ride local or go on a road trip. We could probably put something together where we go riding locally in the afternoon after you get your bike set up, and then head on over to St. George or Moab after that.

My objective, in the end, will be to make sure you get as much awesomeness out of your trip here as you can stand.

And then knock you flat on your back with just a little bit more awesomeness. Just to prove a point.

But Here’s the Thing

In order to win the bike and the bike fitting and the trip, you’re going to need to be on my magic spreadsheet of winningness. And the way you get on that magical spreadsheet is by donating, in $5.00 increments, at my LiveStrong Challenge page.

Do it to win.

Do it to help in the fight against cancer.

Or hey, do it because you want to get me something for my birthday.


  1. Comment by Steven | 06.18.2012 | 1:01 pm

    That makes my local “mountain biking” seem so, so sad.

  2. Comment by leroy | 06.18.2012 | 1:07 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    My dog informs me that that you and I have the same zodiac sign because I was born yesterday.

    As usual, I don’t know what he’s talking about. My birthday isn’t for a few weeks.

    But I am going to donate in honor of your birthday.

    And as thanks for the tip about how to handle insults.

    My dog is about to enjoy a vocal salute to the artistry of The Captain & Tennille’s “Muskrat Love.”

  3. Comment by Christina | 06.18.2012 | 1:11 pm

    Listen, I’ll make you a deal. I live a mere 9 hours from SLC. If you could “randomly” select my name, I’ll drive myself out. I save you money! Plus I love stopping for pie. It’s a win for all of us. If we could add in a morning jog with The Hammer, I’d pay my own lodging and promise you another $100 for Livestrong. Just remember to pick my name :)

  4. Comment by Lori P. | 06.18.2012 | 1:11 pm

    Happy Birthday!!!

  5. Comment by NYCCarlos | 06.18.2012 | 1:12 pm

    I didn’t win the Idaho trip, so I REALLY hope I win this one! :)

  6. Comment by Laura S | 06.18.2012 | 1:15 pm

    Ok, in honor of your birthday, I’ll donate again. Especially since I can’t do the Davis ride yet again this year. Happy Birthday!!

  7. Comment by ScottR | 06.18.2012 | 1:16 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty!

  8. Comment by Ginger-Schminger | 06.18.2012 | 1:25 pm

    Happy Birthday, Fatty!

    I’m in the same boat at Steven. The paltry 10 miles of trails where I live is tear-inducing.

  9. Comment by Bryce | 06.18.2012 | 1:26 pm

    Happy Birthday FATTY! Happy 46th!

  10. Comment by Chris Engle | 06.18.2012 | 1:34 pm

    Happy birthday Fatty!!!

  11. Comment by roan | 06.18.2012 | 1:37 pm

    YO, Fatty, I can’t possibly make it to Davis this year…due to my dog’s most distasteful word to hear…W O R K !
    However if you pass on to me a person that needs a little help to reach the required amount to ride at Davis and will be there…I’ll donate to help them. You can email me the info.

    ps; I don’t remember my 46th B’day…so long ago.

  12. Comment by Jeff Dieffenbach | 06.18.2012 | 2:04 pm

    Fatty’s Onion horoscope:

    “They’ll say it’s for your own good, but you really don’t see how this much electricity running through your genitals could possibly be beneficial.”


  13. Comment by Angie G | 06.18.2012 | 2:18 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty!!!

    @Jeff Dieffenbach- OMG!!! I love it!

  14. Comment by Rich | 06.18.2012 | 2:30 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty – donated again just to help you celebrate!

  15. Comment by roan | 06.18.2012 | 2:39 pm

    Why compare to 90 yrs old ? Look to the future, a even 100 yrs. I plan on setting the world distance record on a bicycle at age 100. This gives you about 17 years later to try beat my record.
    BTW Happy B’day.

  16. Comment by Elizabeth | 06.18.2012 | 2:50 pm

    A very happy birthday, Fatty! Thanks for bringing joy to my life and others!

  17. Comment by Deb Mc | 06.18.2012 | 3:17 pm

    Happy Birthday, Fatty! Just clicked the DONATE button as a present and as a thank you for your entertaining and informative blog. Keep up the good fight!

  18. Comment by Saso | 06.18.2012 | 3:19 pm

    Happy birthday!

  19. Comment by MukBiker | 06.18.2012 | 4:14 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty! Although I’ve already donated, I’d happily buy you another present if it wasn’t also my wife’s birthday! Still need to get a card, cake, wrap the present…

  20. Comment by Kukui | 06.18.2012 | 6:42 pm

    Happy Birthday, Fatty!!! I think I finally successfully donated! I hope so, because I’m already so excited to meet and rode with you and The Hammer!

  21. Comment by Kukui | 06.18.2012 | 6:43 pm

    Oops… And of course by ‘rode’ in the past tense I mean ‘ride’… I obviously have already won in some alternate universe! ;)

  22. Comment by Mike b | 06.18.2012 | 6:47 pm

    Happy 46th on my 56th. Have a great one.

  23. Comment by Jaska | 06.18.2012 | 6:59 pm

    sigh. why o why was i a poor starving student when i lived out there…

  24. Comment by Nurse Betsy | 06.18.2012 | 7:47 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty! Hope you had some cake, pie, doughnuts and whatever else floats your boat.

  25. Comment by Dave T | 06.18.2012 | 8:31 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty. Hope you are having Pie!

  26. Comment by Jesse | 06.18.2012 | 8:32 pm

    Happy birthday!

  27. Comment by AKChick55 | 06.18.2012 | 9:16 pm

    Happy Birthday! The best is yet to come. Are we still entered in the contest if we get more money in our LIVESTRONG accounts for Davis? Just checking cause that’s where I’ve been fundraising. :) See you soon!

  28. Comment by Ripkenfan | 06.18.2012 | 9:39 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty!

  29. Comment by Anonymous | 06.18.2012 | 9:44 pm

    Happy Birthday Fatty-Did you ride your age in miles today? It only gets tougher through the years.

  30. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 06.18.2012 | 10:07 pm

    @anonymous 9:44pm Love the idea of age to miles. I’m going to have to add that to my Birthday celebration.

    I’m inviting everyone at Davis to bring a Kazoo. It seems the only appropriate way to serenade our leader. Practice if you want to.

    AND FOR OUR PIE FANS AT DAVIS: I’m taking suggestions.

  31. Comment by mykasp | 06.18.2012 | 10:09 pm

    Fatty throws a little Social Distortion at us to lead off the video……excellent choice.

  32. Comment by Leigh Anne | 06.18.2012 | 10:29 pm

    @roan I am in for Davis this year can you help me out? I am paying the difference of whatever end up short and riding no matter what as a car took me out of last years ride.
    I should be under the team listing as Leigh Anne Dennis or email me leighaski@yahoo.com

  33. Comment by Jeremy | 06.18.2012 | 10:54 pm

    Happy birthday, Fatty! See you in a few days!

  34. Comment by Corrine | 06.18.2012 | 11:53 pm

    Happy birthday! If I win, can I bring my husband and the four us ( The Hammer included, of course) go mountain biking. I don’t know how we would choose which trails to bike on. They all sound great!!

  35. Comment by Cookster | 06.19.2012 | 3:02 am

    I did 2 hours at Gap Creek Park this afternoon to try and get ready for the awesomeness that you have been talking above so I can do it justice and not end up with the fake daisy on my bars.
    Kit ready, passport checked and a new Moleskine notebook for countless tips from you purchased.

  36. Comment by Petrus | 06.19.2012 | 5:05 am

    In it to win it!

  37. Comment by NYCCarlos | 06.19.2012 | 9:02 am

    @FC – I donated $50 to my own page (sorry) in honor of your birthday.

    @Davidh – Any chance at getting 1 cheesecake thrown in the mix?

  38. Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 06.19.2012 | 11:30 am

    Happy birthday, Elden!

  39. Comment by Brian in VA | 06.19.2012 | 1:47 pm

    I dropped another donation in there Fatty because yesterday was your birthday.

    Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind winning one of those uber cool bikes. And I certainly wouldn’t turn down the chance to ride with cycling’s most beloved blogger.

    I noticed that on your page, you’ve turned the corner and raised over $50K! You must be very proud of your sponsors. I’m proud to be one!

  40. Comment by mykill | 06.19.2012 | 1:56 pm

    Noticed that wunderground now says it is going to be 77 in Davis on Sunday. And in the comments above a New Yorker is asking a Californian to take care of bringing the cheesecake. This must be the part where Bill Murray starts yelling about dogs and cats living together and mass hysteria.

  41. Comment by Anonymous | 06.19.2012 | 2:03 pm

    What about Park City? Could we ride Park City too?

  42. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 06.19.2012 | 2:56 pm

    @mykill That was just about my reaction, save the Bill Murray reference.(I can only remember that gopher and the dynamite, and that other one where he keeps helping the old ladies fix their flat tire….again and again)

    @NYCarlos Seriously?? Read Mykill above. I fear that I would be subjected to an endless tirade of ‘you call this cheesecake!!!” comments. But because you are you, and more importantly the skinniest Fattie in the bunch I will find something special for you. I’m convinced I can come up with a Marin Style Cheesecake that will have you saying; “You call this CHEESECAKE!!!!! I like it.”

    Dubious about 77 in Davis on Sunday. Just remember fluids. (that goes double for you YannB)

  43. Comment by mykill | 06.19.2012 | 3:14 pm

    DavidH, surely you must familiar with this cinematic masterpiece: http://youtu.be/O3ZOKDmorj0 The one where he keeps helping the old ladies is called 100MoNday. I think.

    And i don’t believe the 77 just yet either… i haven’t done any work today, i just keep hitting F5 to see if it changes. Meanwhile, i am still planning on packing the whitest breathingest wickingest three-bottle-carryingest jersey i can muster.

  44. Comment by MattC | 06.19.2012 | 3:32 pm


    Macadamia Creme Pie. (or Bannana Creme if Mac is not available).

    Thank you.

    No, seriously…


    Oh, and Happy Belated Bday Fatty..I saw on FB Sun eve your Bday was Mon, and then I got all busy yesteday and didn’t even get to check in here to wish you the happy day).

  45. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 06.19.2012 | 5:07 pm

    @Mykill Wow! 97degrees Wednesday for AKChicks arrival (want to make her feel the ‘burn’), then a BIG Cooldown. Fatty is obviously applying his awesomeness to new realms.

    MattC Cream Pie, really, out in the sun awaiting your return. Or, are you going to ride the ‘little’ loop with the kids on big wheels so to be the first for pie.

    If anyone wants to ride in Davis before the CHF Event, we could take a little ride out the bikeway to Sacramento. Good way to be ready for the Brats.

  46. Comment by AKChick55 | 06.19.2012 | 7:38 pm

    OH PLEASE 77 YES! We are currently 77 degrees right now at my house in Anchorage. :) That would be perfect. I have my bike packed and ready and all my nutrition, hydration, bike tools, etc. ready to go. I’m a little afraid I won’t assemble it correctly (first time without my hubby to help). I’m sure I’ll be okay. Even if it’s in the 90’s been there done that in Austin so I have my hydration dialed in. Just have to locate some FRS retailers. :)

    Hmmm, for pie how about apple? although I love chocolate so might have to find some chocolate cupcakes too.

    I’m so excited. This will be my first trip flying first class all the way thanks to a very kind and generous friend of mine who bought my ticket with miles. :) VERY excited about meeting everyone on Friday. I’m up for a pre-brats ride, but I’m SLOW so if we have any slow people, that would work.

    How will we contact each other? Not sure what I’ll have for internet down there. Might have to find free wi-fi spot. Also, I can’t reach the lady I’m supposed to stay with so looks like I’ll be in a hotel the first night. Argh!

  47. Comment by mykill | 06.20.2012 | 8:25 am

    I would like to do the Sac ride, but as it is i won’t make the brat thingy until 9:58, if at all. Is Team Fatty doing anything else on Saturday (besides those doing the fundraising dinner)? AKChick (or anybody else) if you want to exchange contact info for meeting up, you can reach me at mykillmouse at gmail dot com.

    Furthermore, forecast is now 75. Throw out the sunscreen and pack your arm warmers!

  48. Comment by Lori P. | 06.20.2012 | 8:37 am

    I keep double checking the weather too…..75 degrees?!?! I’m bringing my leg warmers too, maybe even my winter gloves.
    Where did the summer go?

  49. Comment by roan | 06.20.2012 | 8:49 am

    Can’t make it this year, something called work always in the way.
    Last year I did ride around a bit, not much traffic on the roads around Davis.
    Found a nice little cafe in Woodland about 12-15 miles north of Davis called The Fat Cat Cafe, they got a kick out of the Fatcyclist jersey.
    Dang, it sounds like y’all will have a good time this year.

  50. Comment by Nic Grillo | 06.20.2012 | 9:08 am

    Happy Birthday Fatty! Donation done. Will miss sharing pie with you guys this year. Have a good ride!

  51. Comment by davidh,marin | 06.20.2012 | 10:09 am

    Fat Cat Cafe
    (530) 661-6113
    317 2nd St, Woodland, CA 95695

    North of Davis(still flat) at the corner of 2nd st and Dead Cat Alley(you might ant to stick with the salads)

    Sounds like we need a photo op.

  52. Comment by Susie H | 06.20.2012 | 11:51 am

    Well, y’all, the temps in the 70’s forecast can probably be trusted. should be lovely riding weather with hardly even any wind (not sure THAT forecast can be trusted). Really looking forward to meeting all of you. If anyone needs any local help or info, please email me at shhelton@ucdavis.edu

    See you Friday! Yay!

  53. Comment by Susie H | 06.20.2012 | 12:05 pm

    PS Happy birthday, Elden!!!

    PPS Key Lime pie would be lovely, David!

  54. Comment by Robert | 06.20.2012 | 12:21 pm

    I’m sure going on a ride with you would be all the fun! Snacks provided I assume?

  55. Comment by MikeF | 06.20.2012 | 5:54 pm

    If I won an Ibis Mojo tricked out, I’d fly myself out there and you can donate the airfare to the cause or/and a birthday present.

    Great contest, I’m in, and I’m serious.

    Happy belated birthday!


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