Free Verse Friday: Cacophony

08.10.2012 | 7:35 am

201208100733.jpgA Note from Fatty: The important part of today’s poem is that I will be on Leverage this Sunday. By all means, please check your listings to see what time, and then do your best to open read along as I liveblog seeing it at 8:00pm ET / 6:00pm MT this Sunday.

My head will not quiet
My thoughts are
Too many
Too much
Is it any wonder
I did not sleep?

Tomorrow I race
A race I have done
fifteen times before
Or perhaps 14.2
Would be
More accurate
In any case
A lot

So why am I anxious?
Why does my head churn?
Why do I find myself
betimes bolting    
For the nearest bathroom?
It’s a stupid question
(For really, the above are all the same question,
Differently phrased.)

Because I don’t know
How fit I am
How fast I am
How prepared I am
Or what I have forgotten
Which is completely
And that’s just for starters

I am in pain
And not just the anxious
Hand-wringing kind
My pain isn’t just metaphorical
To wit
Several days ago
My right calf became majorly bruised
And it still hurts
And yesterday
When innocently lifting a suitcase
Something went “spung” in my back
This has not happened before!
And now my back hurts
A lot
Which could be a problem
When riding my singlespeed
And standing
And climbing
And basically using my back
To race one hundred miles
My brain roils
My stomach queases
(For now, let us treat “quease” as the verbal form of “queasy.”)

And then!
After this race
I start another race
The Breck Epic
Which goes for six days
That is
By my count
Seven straight days
Of mountain biking
Which is quite a bit
My stomach churns  

And is that all?
No it is not all
For Sunday
This very Sunday
I will be on television
I will be playing a (very) bit role
In the hit television series
So check your listings
And if you’re watching it
when it plays 6pm Mountain Time
Which is 8pm Eastern Time
Maybe read my blog
While you watch this show
For I intend to Liveblog it

And now I must dash
For the restroom
Yet again

Thank you.


  1. Comment by Jeff Bike | 08.10.2012 | 8:38 am

    Welcome to the world of TV. I had the opportunity to do the driving for an auto tire commercial. I was depicted by a woman in the commercial. We both wore blue jackets and a white helmet, so through the windshield you couldn’t tell who was who.

  2. Comment by Mark | 08.10.2012 | 8:58 am

    That is what I ponder.
    How you have more hours than I.
    How you do what you do,
    And still have time to write about it.
    Maybe you ride your bike so fast
    You gain time. Einstein and all that.
    Have a great week (plus) racing!
    Save some time to entertain us here.
    Thank you.

  3. Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 08.10.2012 | 9:14 am

    Welcome to the age
    of calf pain
    back pain
    and an ever requiring need
    to run to the bathroom

    of forgetfulness
    and ‘am I good enough’
    the likes of which not seen
    since adolescence

    we set outragegeous goals
    of distance
    or weight loss

    in an effort
    to prove to ourselves
    and others
    that time
    has not caught us yet

    so as your mind fires
    random reminders
    and alarms
    of any number of issues

    There’s you a reason
    you married a nurse
    and a pain nurse at that
    so go out there
    and make us, Team Fatty, proud

    thank you

    now I’m going to grab some chips for Sunday night

  4. Comment by Fuzz Martin | 08.10.2012 | 9:39 am

    As I write
    I sit in the waiting room
    at the doctors office
    A place which I have not been
    for 5 years

    The reason I am here
    is because my loving wife
    is concerned about my health
    and wants me to get
    a physical
    before my two upcoming century rides

    I’m only 33
    which is not that old
    But sometimes wives worry
    and that is okay
    and she has good insurance
    otherwise I’d just risk it

    So after this verse
    I will schedule
    A Google calendar event
    to remind me to schedule
    a DVR event
    to watch Fatty on tv
    at 7pm Central / 9pm Atlantic
    the two stepchildren of the time zone family.

    Thank you.

  5. Comment by Frank | 08.10.2012 | 9:52 am

    Welcome to the next stage
    To the cyclist currently known as Fatty
    Perhaps a change in Name?

    My haiku to welcome you to the land of Old.

    From a fat old cyclist and friend.

  6. Comment by Scott R | 08.10.2012 | 10:15 am

    Best of luck in your races, and looking forward to seeing you on Leverage.

  7. Comment by Chris Engle | 08.10.2012 | 10:38 am

    TiVo set.

  8. Comment by Hautacam | 08.10.2012 | 10:44 am

    Fatty, meet a loading dose of Vitamin I[buprofen].

    Loading dose of Vitamin I, meet Fatty.

    I forsee a long and increasingly close relationship.

  9. Comment by AKChick55 | 08.10.2012 | 12:22 pm

    Good luck to you, The Hammer, and the IT Guy! You will all do most excellent. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great day for you all.

    I’m going to set a reminder for Leverage, but not sure I’ll be back from the cabin up north where the temps are warmer than down south (go figure that one out!).


  10. Comment by Elizabeth | 08.10.2012 | 3:05 pm

    I will not
    Join the liveblog as
    I must concentrate
    And not be distracted
    While watching my favorite show,
    Starring my favorite blogger,
    What a night!
    What a combination!
    Perhaps I’ll serve Champagne!
    (to myself)
    Cheers to Fatty and Leverage!

    Thank you.

  11. Comment by Clydesteve | 08.10.2012 | 4:25 pm

    Oh Fatty – Dood
    Just coolit
    You have (probably, at age 45ish) not even had your
    1st colonoscopy
    I do not pretend to actutally know
    about you.
    But at 50, your Dr. will think
    you deserve one.
    Next week is my 2nd.
    anticipate that.
    Or not.

    Thank you.

  12. Comment by Clydesteve | 08.10.2012 | 4:27 pm

    You did open yourself up to numerous ‘old’ jokes. ANd several of us have accomodated.

    But, have a great race & i hope you look thin & hip on Leverage

  13. Comment by roadrash | 08.10.2012 | 5:44 pm

    Checked the listings
    Leverage, Season 5, Episode 4
    The French Connection Job
    seeking a full cast credit
    for our esteemed blogger
    alas, none to be found
    Perhaps, it was overlooked
    I will still tune in with great

    Thank You.

  14. Comment by RANTWICK | 08.10.2012 | 8:35 pm

    Never do that poem thing again. I mean it.

    That said, good luck on that TV and racing stuff, stuff I would understand better if they had not been cut up into an annoying “poem”.

  15. Comment by Lori P. | 08.10.2012 | 10:16 pm

    Best of luck to all of you!


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