Free Verse Friday: Cacophony
A Note from Fatty: The important part of today’s poem is that I will be on Leverage this Sunday. By all means, please check your listings to see what time, and then do your best to open read along as I liveblog seeing it at 8:00pm ET / 6:00pm MT this Sunday.
My head will not quiet
My thoughts are
Too many
Too much
Is it any wonder
I did not sleep?
Tomorrow I race
A race I have done
fifteen times before
Or perhaps 14.2
Would be
More accurate
In any case
A lot
So why am I anxious?
Why does my head churn?
Why do I find myself
betimes bolting
For the nearest bathroom?
It’s a stupid question
(For really, the above are all the same question,
Differently phrased.)
Because I don’t know
How fit I am
How fast I am
How prepared I am
Or what I have forgotten
Which is completely
Utterly
Totally
Necessary
And that’s just for starters
I am in pain
And not just the anxious
Hand-wringing kind
My pain isn’t just metaphorical
To wit
Several days ago
My right calf became majorly bruised
And it still hurts
And yesterday
When innocently lifting a suitcase
Something went “spung” in my back
This has not happened before!
And now my back hurts
A lot
Which could be a problem
When riding my singlespeed
And standing
And climbing
And basically using my back
To race one hundred miles
Tomorrow
My brain roils
My stomach queases
(For now, let us treat “quease” as the verbal form of “queasy.”)
And then!
After this race
Tomorrow
I start another race
The Breck Epic
Which goes for six days
That is
By my count
Seven straight days
Of mountain biking
Which is quite a bit
My stomach churns
And is that all?
No!
No it is not all
For Sunday
This very Sunday
I will be on television
I will be playing a (very) bit role
In the hit television series
Leverage
On TNT
So check your listings
And if you’re watching it
when it plays 6pm Mountain Time
Which is 8pm Eastern Time
Maybe read my blog
While you watch this show
For I intend to Liveblog it
And now I must dash
For the restroom
Yet again
Thank you.
Comment by Jeff Bike | 08.10.2012 | 8:38 am
Welcome to the world of TV. I had the opportunity to do the driving for an auto tire commercial. I was depicted by a woman in the commercial. We both wore blue jackets and a white helmet, so through the windshield you couldn’t tell who was who.
Comment by Mark | 08.10.2012 | 8:58 am
Time.
That is what I ponder.
How you have more hours than I.
How you do what you do,
And still have time to write about it.
Maybe you ride your bike so fast
You gain time. Einstein and all that.
Have a great week (plus) racing!
Save some time to entertain us here.
Thank you.
Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 08.10.2012 | 9:14 am
Welcome to the age
of calf pain
back pain
and an ever requiring need
to run to the bathroom
of forgetfulness
anxiousness
and ‘am I good enough’
the likes of which not seen
since adolescence
we set outragegeous goals
of distance
time
elevation
or weight loss
in an effort
to prove to ourselves
and others
that time
has not caught us yet
so as your mind fires
random reminders
and alarms
of any number of issues
remember
There’s you a reason
you married a nurse
and a pain nurse at that
so go out there
and make us, Team Fatty, proud
thank you
now I’m going to grab some chips for Sunday night
Comment by Fuzz Martin | 08.10.2012 | 9:39 am
As I write
this
I sit in the waiting room
at the doctors office
A place which I have not been
for 5 years
The reason I am here
is because my loving wife
is concerned about my health
and wants me to get
a physical
before my two upcoming century rides
I’m only 33
which is not that old
But sometimes wives worry
and that is okay
and she has good insurance
otherwise I’d just risk it
So after this verse
I will schedule
A Google calendar event
to remind me to schedule
a DVR event
to watch Fatty on tv
at 7pm Central / 9pm Atlantic
the two stepchildren of the time zone family.
Thank you.
Comment by Frank | 08.10.2012 | 9:52 am
Welcome to the next stage
To the cyclist currently known as Fatty
Perhaps a change in Name?
My haiku to welcome you to the land of Old.
From a fat old cyclist and friend.
Comment by Scott R | 08.10.2012 | 10:15 am
Best of luck in your races, and looking forward to seeing you on Leverage.
Comment by Chris Engle | 08.10.2012 | 10:38 am
TiVo set.
Comment by Hautacam | 08.10.2012 | 10:44 am
Fatty, meet a loading dose of Vitamin I[buprofen].
Loading dose of Vitamin I, meet Fatty.
I forsee a long and increasingly close relationship.
Comment by AKChick55 | 08.10.2012 | 12:22 pm
Good luck to you, The Hammer, and the IT Guy! You will all do most excellent. I have a feeling it’s going to be a great day for you all.
I’m going to set a reminder for Leverage, but not sure I’ll be back from the cabin up north where the temps are warmer than down south (go figure that one out!).
Allez!!!
Comment by Elizabeth | 08.10.2012 | 3:05 pm
I will not
Join the liveblog as
I must concentrate
And not be distracted
While watching my favorite show,
Leverage.
Starring my favorite blogger,
Fatty.
What a night!
What a combination!
Perhaps I’ll serve Champagne!
(to myself)
Cheers to Fatty and Leverage!
Thank you.
Comment by Clydesteve | 08.10.2012 | 4:25 pm
Oh Fatty – Dood
Just coolit
You have (probably, at age 45ish) not even had your
1st colonoscopy
I do not pretend to actutally know
that
about you.
But at 50, your Dr. will think
you deserve one.
Next week is my 2nd.
anticipate that.
Or not.
Thank you.
Comment by Clydesteve | 08.10.2012 | 4:27 pm
heh,
You did open yourself up to numerous ‘old’ jokes. ANd several of us have accomodated.
But, have a great race & i hope you look thin & hip on Leverage
Comment by roadrash | 08.10.2012 | 5:44 pm
Checked the imdb.com listings
Leverage, Season 5, Episode 4
The French Connection Job
seeking a full cast credit
for our esteemed blogger
alas, none to be found
Perhaps, it was overlooked
I will still tune in with great
anticipation
Thank You.
Comment by RANTWICK | 08.10.2012 | 8:35 pm
Never do that poem thing again. I mean it.
That said, good luck on that TV and racing stuff, stuff I would understand better if they had not been cut up into an annoying “poem”.
Comment by Lori P. | 08.10.2012 | 10:16 pm
Best of luck to all of you!