Free Verse Friday: The Heartache of the Well-Kept Secret

11.16.2012 | 9:25 am

Sometimes I sit and reflect
Upon myself
Dwelling upon my sadness
And my heartache
Wishing that I could share
All that I know
But have promised to not
Reveal

For there is so much
That I could say
So much that I could tell you
Especially about the
Heretofore unannounced
Prizes in the 
Oh-so-cleverly-named
Grand Slam for Zambia II 
(This Time It’s Personal)

But I will not!

No, I shall not reveal that
I have so many grand prizes
To give away
That the term “grand prize”
Has begun to haunt my
Dreams 

I wish I could tell the world
That a major cycling company
Will give away not one bike 
Worth closer to $10K than to $5K
But will instead give away two
One bike for roadies
One for lovers of dirt
But I cannot say which company this is!
Nor which bikes
(Or at least will not
For I am coy)

I shall not let slip
That in the near future
I shall have a week 
Of blog posts
Wherein each day I shall 
Describe a cycling trip prize:
Airfare, room
And hotel
(Or resort or cabin or tent)
All included
Where you will ride 
And eat
And hang out
And quite possibly hobnob
With Cycling VIPs
(By which I do not mean me,
Though I shall sometimes
Be there too.)

I refuse to drop a hint
That one of these trips
Is to a famous and well-loved
Gran Fondo

I further adamantly
Do not concede that
One of these trips is to the
First-of-its-kind
By-invitation-only
And hotly-anticipated event
Put on by a top pro

No! I will not discuss
That I might give away
An entry
To a nigh-impossible-to-get-into event
(Which I have done sixteen times)
Along with personal training advice from  
Someone who has won that event
Quite often 

I will not say that
My favorite companies
(Twin Six and Honey Stinger
Among others)
Are offering
Seriously cool prizes
I shall keep all that to myself 

And oh!
If only I could reveal
That numerous pros
Will provide cool prizes too
(Would I be giving too much away
If I were to reveal that
One of the pros
Has “Dating Mike”
as an anagram 
For his Twitter handle?
Or that another has the same last name
As the other
But is not related?)

Alas
I cannot tell any of this
But must instead simply remind you
That in addition to these prizes
All of which you are unaware
There are some pretty amazing prizes
Already revealed

Like a trip to New York 
And three (yes three)
People will get
Trips to Moab
(Where I think I might have
To show you the Mag 7 trail)  

I wish I could tell you
About all of these prizes
Each of which
You might win
If you help a child
In Zambia 
Have a vastly improved chance
At a good life
With a bicycle

If you knew about these things
I am relatively confident
You would agree
I have pretty much
Blown the doors
Off any bike-related
Fundraising contest
There has ever been.

And I think you would want
To be a part of this
And do some good
And maybe win something
Incredible
By making a donation 

Thank you.

15 Comments

  1. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 11.16.2012 | 10:00 am

    It’s payday
    time to click
    for Fatty
    and
    Zambia

    thank you

  2. Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 11.16.2012 | 10:03 am

    imgpoint20090616_10833368_2.jpg

  3. Comment by ClydesdalePilot | 11.16.2012 | 10:10 am

    Just got laid off so I won’t be able to donate this time around. (Anyone know of anyone hiring in the Los Angeles area, maybe an entry level position in the legal industry?)

  4. Pingback by Free Verse Friday: The Heartache of the Well-Kept Secret | Bicycle News Gator | 11.16.2012 | 10:47 am

    [...] post: Free Verse Friday: The Heartache of the Well-Kept Secret This entry was posted in FatCyclist.com and tagged alas, dating, event, free verse friday, give, [...]

  5. Comment by Fat Elvis | 11.16.2012 | 11:07 am

    Very clever mr. nelson.
    Very clever indeed.

  6. Comment by Elizabeth | 11.16.2012 | 11:10 am

    Oh the seduction of
    Free Verse
    Calling us to reveal our
    Plans, dreams, ambitions and
    Grand Prizes.
    As the words tumble forth
    Innocently
    Secrets are revealed.
    And sometimes we are seduced to
    Donate.
    Of course, I’ve already done that.

    Thank You.

  7. Comment by Louutah | 11.16.2012 | 11:27 am

    Someone is going to be on the nice and naughty list this Christmas…..teasing the minions will get you on the naughty list for sure.

  8. Comment by SteveB | 11.16.2012 | 11:40 am

    does it still count
    as free verse friday
    if it is taunting us
    to pay to play?

    I will ponder this
    for a while.

  9. Comment by UpTheGrade SR,CA | 11.16.2012 | 11:43 am

    Good buddies, OK riders, we think we’re hot,
    We talk, we joke, we draft a lot,
    A long ride today around the park,
    and I was first one to the mark!

    I’m donating to help others less fortunate and with a bit of luck will soon be riding an envy-worthy machine – then let them try to catch me ;-)

  10. Comment by Liz M. | 11.16.2012 | 1:04 pm

    Dwelling upon my sadness
    And my heartache
    That my verbal skills
    Are so poor
    That I can’t make out
    A single anagram
    for “Dating Mike.”

  11. Comment by Christian C | 11.16.2012 | 1:31 pm

    @liz m …let me help.

    the twitter anagram you are looking for…
    shouldn’t be such a chore,
    as my skills are also poor….

    when you read this you will sing
    as it has a lot of bling ????
    how about…@iamtedking ?

  12. Comment by AKChick55 | 11.16.2012 | 1:49 pm

    My only thought upon reading this is I think I might have to make all my dollar entries count and go for the non-deductible donations. :)

  13. Comment by Yeuda Bomb | 11.16.2012 | 2:58 pm

    go back and try the link for Fat Elvis…

    answer to anagram it is.

  14. Comment by Liz M. | 11.16.2012 | 6:57 pm

    @Christian C, @Yeuda Bomb

    Of course!!

    And I forgot to add earlier

    Thank you.

  15. Comment by Heidi | 11.17.2012 | 12:48 pm

    Fatty’s poetry
    is deep
    and
    oh so
    cryptic.
    Not.
    But
    very entertaining
    and prize-ful.

    Thank you.

 

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.