100 Miles of Nowhere Race Report: Rookie Division

06.23.2013 | 6:30 am

I was very excited to get my chance to complete this ride. Even more excited was my wife. She normally drives SAG and comes to rescue my tail when I have breakdowns (snapped spokes, chain stays, etc). SAG this time would consist of putting her head out the door every once in a while to see if I needed anything.

I read through previous years MONs from other riders and their potential thoughts for this year. I’m a road only rider and wanted to stay within the spirit of “no-where” and figured that going around the block would fulfill that requirement. It’s .3 of a mile and has about a 12’ rise. I knew that outside of brain draining boredom getting a solid rhythm with 90 degree turn every 15 seconds was going to make that a challenge.

Also adding to the fun; I was sick for about a week prior to the ride and had less than 50 miles riding over the last two weeks. Conversations about my pooping habits aside, I came into this event further behind than I wanted. I didn’t expect to ever be super-fast, but I was very worried about losing the “Crazy dads in Everett” category now.

The morning of the ride I had thought to be on the bike by 6 and instead took a little extra sleep. At precisely 6:50am I clipped in and I was off! At precisely 6:51 I finished my first lap, still drinking my coffee and settled in for a long day (not Elden-long, just long for me).

My bike computer and phone were at war with each other, showing small discrepancies on feet ascended and distance travelled, but taking an average after the first 10 laps, I figured that I had about another 325 in front of me.

Pedal –turn-pedal-turn-pedal-coast/turn-pedal.

Mile 66

In my neighborhood, I viewed as that “weird guy who rides a bike” and didn’t think my neighbors would think much of it. No one said anything, but I did get some looks. At one point I had a nice little peloton with me. Two neighbor kids and my middle son all riding around with me; I would do a lap at their pace and then keep going as best as I could.

My cheering squad

The hardest part was the lure of the house and the want to get that one thing (it’ll only take a second). So I created a schedule (I had lots of time). I would only stop every 25 miles and only as long as I didn’t impede myself on my imposed 6 hour time limit. This tactic worked well and I finish in 5 hours 59 minutes and 34 seconds – yes I cut it close.

Even better, I was off the bike for only about half an hour. With potties, water, snacks and all the rest of the amenities the house offered I could have easily spent an hour mucking around.

The last ten miles of any century are hard for me. I can see the end and I’m tired and figure to just sit up and coast the last bit. Normally I get over that by pushing hard for the end. That works when there is varying terrain, but didn’t work in this case, I suspect because I had already covered the terrain 300 times, so my last 10 miles are probably my slowest.

I had checking on by my SAG and cheering selection and while it was a close race I not only took a new KOM (1 of 1 rider), set second and third personal bests but I believe I also podiumed in the “Crazy dads in Everett” category.

Thanks for the opportunity to do the 100 MON and all of the great sponsors (Honey Stingers, new food on bike), now all I have to do is figure out where I’m riding next year!


  1. Comment by Nancy_in_MN | 06.23.2013 | 7:55 am

    Discipline extraordinaire! Insane. Considering all those corners, never really being able to get up to speed, you turned in a remarkable time!

    Honestly? I think riding such a short course is even more challenging than riding the rollers/trainer. Not that I’ve done either one.

    I love that the kids from the neighborhood got involved. Thanks for another uplifting, inspiring story!

  2. Comment by Retro Italia | 06.23.2013 | 7:59 am

    Brilliant report!!! You have inspired me to give this ago. Now I just have to find a loop to do it on!

  3. Comment by Trevor | 06.23.2013 | 9:01 am

    Great report and a great time! Looks like a very competitive division.

  4. Comment by Heidi | 06.23.2013 | 9:05 am

    Good job – now the neighbors will have that much more to talk about! Everett as in Everett WA? (asks the former Seattleite…)

  5. Comment by Jeff Bike | 06.23.2013 | 2:09 pm

    OMG 325+ laps that’s about 1300 corners, well I guess you can turn one way now “wax on, wax off”.

  6. Comment by Scott | 06.23.2013 | 8:55 pm

    @Retro Italia – go for it! I wouldn’t say it was fun, but it was worth it.

    @Heidi – Yup Everett WA and the neighbors are avoiding me just a little more right now, probably questioning my sanity.

    @Jeff Bike – I considered switching directions but it seemed like a bigger challenge to do it all one way. Maybe next year I will “unwind”.

  7. Comment by Tom in Albany | 06.24.2013 | 5:50 am

    I bow to your superior mental discipline! That’s a lot of laps!

  8. Comment by Daniel Weise | 06.24.2013 | 9:47 am

    Well done! I had thought my just under 1/2 mile was challenging, but yours was even more so! I know what you mean about the lure of the house, passing it so many times. You have to then set a strict schedule to keep from falling for the lure.

  9. Comment by Matt made me do it! | 06.24.2013 | 8:22 pm

    Aero-bars, .3 mile, so that’s how you go fast! Next year Disc wheel! And a skin suit. Then the neighbors will really have something to talk about.

    Great job!


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