You Are EXACTLY Sexy Enough For These Shirts

11.25.2013 | 7:30 am

Bratwurst. Pie. If there are two words more evocative of the ethos of, I don’t want to know what they are. (Also, I just used both the words “evocative” and “ethos” in the same sentence.)

It’s like they’re our mission statement, disguised as a mantra, only now conveniently represented pictorially in a long-sleeved cotton t-shirt (men’s and women’s). Like this:

Brats, Pie, & Heavyweight Horsepower

What Are You Supporting and When Should You Order? 

When you buy this (or any of the below) long-sleeve t-shirts, you’re supporting me as I write Fight Like Susan. Which is so cool of you it’s dangerous. That’s right: purchasing this shirt makes you dangerously cool.

So when is the pre-order? Right now. Is that soon enough for you? But you can’t dilly-dally in your order-making, because this pre-order is going on for just two days (11/25-26), so it will ship 12/12-17, arriving in time for Christmas (unless you’re ordering from out of the US, in which case I really have no idea when it will arrive, but would bet good money that it won’t be by Christmas).

And if you don’t pre-order during this admittedly small window, you won’t get one of these shirts. Not even if you send me a convincingly earnest email explaining how you meant to order one and then forgot until it was too late. 

A Note to Women About Sizing

If you’re a woman and you’re ordering a women’s t-shirt, you should be sure to order larger than you would for non-American Apparel T-shirts. To illustrate my point: The Hammer, who is 5’7” and weighs around 125 pounds and is basically as fit as a person can be…wears a women’s XL whenever she orders any t-shirt from Twin Six (including any of these). She can fit into a women’s Large, but XL is more comfortable. 

Adjust your sizing expectations accordingly, OK?

How About The Holiday T?

At some point in your life, you’re going to be put in the situation where you need to wear something that looks like a holiday sweater. No, don’t try to argue; it’s a proven fact.

When that moment arrives, you’ll  have two options: to either wear a holiday sweater (not recommended) or wear the holiday sweater-ish long-sleeve t-shirt (available in both men’s and women’s sizes): Holiday Long-Sleeve T

Yes, it’s a t-shirt. Yes, it looks like a holiday sweater. No, I don’t know how it’s possible for both things to be true, but I suspect either science or magic is involved.

But Wait!

There’s one more long-sleeved t-shirt we’re putting up for pre-order. This one’s a classic — the “painted” logo t-shirt, available now for the first time as a long-sleeved t-shirt (in both men’s and women’s sizes). Painted Logo Long-Sleeve T

Collect All Three, For Crying Out Loud

What if you decide that, paradoxically, you can’t decide? That you want to get all three? Well, you know, that’s OK by me. And in fact, you can get a nice little 16% discount if you get all three shirts as a bundle (available in both men’s and women’s sizing):

Collect all three, already.

How Do You Order? 

“Fatty,” I hear you plead, “please please please tell me how I can order these t-shirts.” 

“OK,” I respond, “but only because you said ‘please’ thrice and I am inclined to reward this kind of effusive politeness.” So here you go:

And I’m being completely serious about the two-day pre-order. If you don’t pre-order 11/25 or 11/26, it’s too late. We need to get the order off pronto to get these shirts into everyone’s hands well before Christmas.

PS: While you’re at Twin Six buying these shirts, allow me to heartily recommend you look around at other things Twin Six sells — jerseys, shirts, hats, shorts, everything. I daresay you might get 113% of your Christmas shopping done in one glorious spending spree. These guys are my friends and they do a lot to help with the fundraising work I do. So, you know, it might be nice to help keep them in business and stuff.


  1. Comment by deb mc | 11.25.2013 | 8:03 am

    We all read Fatty, right? We’re all fans, right? We want him to complete Fight Like Susan, right? So let’s all order a T-shirt or maybe three, right?

    I ordered one and they don’t even come in a Women’s XXL. *sigh* Maybe someday.

  2. Comment by Chris | 11.25.2013 | 9:22 am

    I’m trying to convince my wife to knit me a real life holiday sweater with that design on it. So far no go. Perhaps she’ll just buy me the t-shirt instead and save her fingers.

  3. Comment by ClydeinKS | 11.25.2013 | 9:34 am

    Order placed and THANK YOU for providing the opportunity to help AND be dangerously cool! So much better than being cooly dangerous.
    So glad the holiday sweater came back as I missed out last time and the opportunity HAS presented for the need, now I can join. I don’t know how that look became possible either and agree with science and magic because my order didn’t allow for an option to add smoke and mirrors!

  4. Comment by Nic Grillo | 11.25.2013 | 9:45 am

    I just strongly suggested to my wife that if she needs a Christmas gift for me, she should visit your website. And by that I mean I sent her the weblink and exact instructions on what to get and to make sure to do it today!

  5. Comment by Jenn | 11.25.2013 | 10:51 am

    Do the t-shirts fit like the jerseys? My husband ordered a 2xl jersey, but will that be too big in the long sleeve shirt?

    The Men’s t-shirts fit like the jerseys. Which is to say, when I fit into a medium jersey, I fit into a medium t-shirt. And when I fit into a large jersey…I fit into a large t-shirt. – FC

  6. Comment by Shawn | 11.25.2013 | 10:55 am

    Bought the bundle for me and a bundle for my brother for Christmas. Here’s to great success as you write Fatty! I truly hope to meet you and ride one day!

  7. Comment by Megan - TWIN SIX | 11.25.2013 | 12:06 pm

    Jenn – If he wears a 2XL in the Jerseys, I would say go with an XL.

    Deb Mc – I would recommend ordering a Men’s Small or Medium. They will fit similarly to a Women’s 2XL, just a little longer in the body.

  8. Comment by Marcel Beaudoin | 11.25.2013 | 12:14 pm

    Are these technical long-sleeved t-shirts I could wear while running/biking, or are they actual long sleeved t-shirts?

    They’re cotton long-sleeved t-shirts. Not a technical fabric. – FC

  9. Comment by Al Pastor | 11.25.2013 | 12:29 pm

    If my family happens to read this, I could use a few more pairs of twin six socks.

  10. Comment by PBRMEASAP | 11.25.2013 | 2:34 pm

    Done, got two out of three.

  11. Comment by Dave T | 11.25.2013 | 2:52 pm

    Went all the way though the ordering process ordering each shirt individually before I realized you could order the all three at once. I guess I should of read through your whole post first. The Hammer really wears a women’s xl? I was going to order Amy a medium but based on this information order an xl.

  12. Comment by Randy | 11.25.2013 | 3:07 pm

    “Brats, Pie, & Heavyweight Horsepower?”

    Looks like “Hot Dogs, Pizza & Ommegang” to me

  13. Comment by Jeff | 11.25.2013 | 6:22 pm

    Fatty, where are the 3XL sizes? I love my other FC t-shirts, but 3XL is what I need. Yes, I have the Brat and Pie part of the equation down!

  14. Comment by Kelly | 11.25.2013 | 6:31 pm

    125 pounds and wears an XL? There is no hope here. Socks and water bottles – that’s what I can order. Darn.

  15. Comment by gogogo | 11.26.2013 | 1:00 am

    i am trying to get a women’s holiday t and the webpage is stuck – won’t show size options, and won’t let me click on sizing.
    other shirts work fine.
    are you sold out already?

  16. Comment by PNP | 11.26.2013 | 1:42 pm

    I agree with Kelly. What’s with the sizing of clothes, anyway? And cycling clothes are sized as if only stick figures ride. I ordered the full set, but in men’s sizing. I just wish that makers of women’s cycling clothes would take a look at the real world. If The Hammer has to wear an XL, there’s something seriously wrong with how the clothes are sized.

  17. Comment by Mark | 11.26.2013 | 2:01 pm

    If this is a preorder, but one cannot order ever again after this preorder, what are we preempting by ordering them “early”? Wouldn’t this essentially just be a limited time order?

  18. Pingback by You Are EXACTLY Sexy Enough For These Shirts | Dring Drong | 11.27.2013 | 9:56 am

    [...] You Are EXACTLY Sexy Enough For These Shirts Bratwurst. Pie. If there are two words more evocative of the ethos of, I don’t want to know what they are. (Also, I just used both the words “evocative” and “ethos” in the same sentence.) It’s like they’re our mission statement, disguised as a mantra, only now conveniently represented pictorially in a long-sleeved cotton t-shirt [...] 25 Hours in Frog Hollow, Part IX: Podiums and Ill-Timed Naps A Note from Fatty: Next week, November 25-26, I’ll be doing a special pre-order for the new Fat Cyclist long-sleeve t-shirt. Check it out: [...]

  19. Comment by spaceyace | 12.2.2013 | 6:52 pm

    Alas, after too much waffling over the sizing (I’m an authentic fat cyclist who also happens to be female) I missed out on this deal. And my office just announced “holiday sweater” day. I will know better next year, but I echo Mark’s question. Because I would still wear the holiday sweater-ish shirt in January.

  20. Comment by Katie | 12.3.2013 | 1:57 pm

    My gosh that holiday number is something special. Perfect for my family photo. Magic and science indeed!!


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