The Benefits and Perils of Pre-Riding a Race Course

02.15.2016 | 7:37 am

A Note from Fatty: I generally don’t like to give things away out of sequence in my stories, but the fact is, over the weekend I shot, in slo-mo, a straight-up incredible shot of my friend Kenny doing a ten-foot drop…except he accidentally unclips either right before or right after he begins the drop. The result is disastrously incredible, but somehow ends with Kenny looking like he just completed a gymnastics routine. It’s a must-watch. So here it is.

2016 promises to be an interesting year, race-wise, at the Nelson household. For one thing, I’ll be racing in a new age group, what with my impending fiftieth birthday. Which means I’m likely to be placing mid-pack against people who are older than I am, instead of against people who are younger than I am.

Okay, that’s not particularly interesting. I’ll give you that. 

What’s more interesting is that while I’m planning to race with gears this year, The Hammer is thinking of racing singlespeed, across the board — an interesting reversal. 

Perhaps most interesting of all is that The Swimmer — our 20yo daughter — is registered to race the Leadville 100. And leading up to that race, she’s planning to do all the local endurance races. The Crusher in the Tushar. The Six Hours of Frog Hollow. And — in just a few weeks, her first endurance mountain bike race ever: The True Grit Epic. (If you’ve got nothing else to do, you can go back and read parts 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 of my True Grit recap, as well as The Hammer’s story, from last year.)

Which means that I am discovering exactly how much alike daughter is like mother. Specifically, they both have a little bit of an athletic gift, coupled with a lot of tenacity and a competitive spirt (but also they both like to say “I’m not really competitive”). 

And, above all else, they both want to be prepared. Oh mercy, do these two women love preparation. I’d go so far as to say that they like to be prepared for races almost as much as I like…sandwiches. 

To be perfectly clear: I’m a big fan of sandwiches.

It should therefore be no surprise that last weekend, The Hammer, The Swimmer, and I went to St George, for the Very Important Purpose of pre-riding the True Grit Epic course, under the watchful eye of Kenny and Heather, without whom we would still be out on the course, hopelessly lost.

Pros and Cons

I understand where The Hammer and The Swimmer are coming from, preparation-wise. Really, I do. All else being equal, I prefer to not go into a race completely naïve to the course. You’re going to learn things about the course you can only truly understand when you’ve experienced it firsthand; a mostly-singletrack course in Southern Utah can’t be described in distance and vertical gain. Not even close.

Knowledge is power and whatnot.

However, I would also like to point out that doing a recon ride of a long and difficult course can be fraught. Because in addition to learning all this really awesome beta about the course, you’re likely to learn a few things you weren’t expecting.

Like that you seem to be aging rapidly at the moment. 

And that with your newfound decrepitude, you seem to recover from illness a lot more slowly than you used to. 

And you may even find that you’re slower and weaker than you used to be. to the point that maybe you are so far from being the alpha rider that you are left to wonder what comes after omega.

As you probably have guessed by now, I am — alas — not writing about hypotheticals here. 

Hand-Me-Downs and New Shoes

I was excited for this ride, but hadn’t given it a lot of thought prior to the trip. I had been sick most of the week, and slammed with work for the rest of it.

Still, I have done hundreds of rides longer than this one, and I was feeling better. As proof: it had been more than thirty-six hours since I had needed to use Nyquil

I brought two bikes to St. George: my Felt 9 FRD (affectionately known to me simply as “Fred”), and my Specialized Stumpjumper singlespeed, the twin of the bike The Hammer plans to race this season. I figured I’d ride the singlespeed to show solidarity with The Hammer, at least in training.

The Swimmer, meanwhile, would be riding her Cannondale Scalpel: 

Thumb IMG 4452 1024

I’d like to point out a few things about this photo. First, yes: this is the Scalpel I won last year. Or more accurately, it is the Scalpel I won and which The Swimmer immediately claimed as her own.

I can’t complain: she rides it better than I would. I am not exaggerating when I say that she already can demolish me with this bike on descents; I cannot hold her wheel.

To make the adoption final and permanent, in fact, I got her those snazzy matching Giro VR90 shoes

But she’s still wearing borrowed socks, shorts, and jersey. Luckily (for The Swimmer, though I’m not 100% sure it’s quite as lucky for The Hammer) she and her mom wear the same size. 

The Day Started Well Enough

I love the feeling of getting away with something — of doing something clever and fun that just doesn’t occur to most folks.

Going to St George, UT in mid-February always feels like I’m getting away with something. Friday after work we load up the Bikemobile at our home in Alpine, UT (two feet of snow standing on our front lawn), drive for 3.5 hours, and — wham — we’re in a short-sleeve desert mountain biking wonderland. 

And we have friends who let us stay at their house for free, so that helps, too.

Thus, we — Kenny, Heather, Kathleen, The Swimmer, The Hammer, and I —started our fifty-mile singletrack odyssey at 10:00am, all wearing shorts and short sleeves. 

Except Kenny, who had cut off his sleeves. Naturally.

Within a few miles, Heather had gotten a torn sidewall on a downhill, which I was completely stoked about, because it meant I got to take a break from riding. And also, it meant I got to take a picture of Kenny and Heather in their matching NICA-themed helmets.

IMG 4447 

That’s also when I took a picture of The Swimmer with her matchy-match bike/shoe setup, and of The Hammer in her matching helmet, glasses, and FatCyclist kit:

IMG 4449 

Nobody took a picture of me, because…well, because I hadn’t done a very good of matching stuff up, I guess. Not that I mind the lack of photos of me. The truth is, I’m way over fighting weight right now, and I’d prefer to keep the photo evidence of this sad fact down to a minimum.

Anyway, I didn’t get to take photos for very long, because Heather suggested that the rest of us continue on our way; she’d take a shortcut and rejoin us.

Somewhat disappointed, I remounted. Strangely, it didn’t occur to me at that moment that it was very unusual for me to be welcoming a break so early in the ride.

Technical Difficulties

The True Grit course can be roughly divided into two kinds of terrain: the hard parts, and the not-as-hard parts. 

I was finding very few non-as-hard parts on this day. Climbing was difficult. The Hammer kept riding away from me. My camelback felt like it weighed thirty pounds (it actually only weighed twenty seven).

It’s not that I felt bad; I just felt slow. Incapable. Sore. Grouchy. My wrists were hurting. The inside of my left ankle was chafing against my shoe. My bike was ridiculously overgeared (34×18 for crying out loud).

Basically, I felt the exact opposite of what a guy who is on a beautiful ride with wonderful people should feel.

Meanwhile, others were having a great time. Kathleen and Heather were riding stuff I could never ride on my best day:

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And then giving each other celebratory high-fives and stuff.

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The Swimmer was riding really well, too: having fun, riding strong, and cleaning technical stuff I’d have thought out of her reach.

Of course, that doesn’t mean she didn’t ever fall. Of course she fell. That’s part of getting better. Plus, that gave her the right to claim first blood:

IMG 1478

“How’d that happen?” Heather asked, when noticing The Swimmer’s knee. 

“Elden was going too slow around a hairpin, and I was behind him, so I fell.”

“Hmph,” I retorted.

But The Swimmer’s skinned knee was about to be upstaged, big time. For we had arrived at what I am assured is called the “Base Jump:” a big drop to a constructed dirt ramp.

It’s all Kenny had been talking about. He had been promising himself that this was the day, the day when he was going to try that drop.

And I, in turn, promised to get a good slo-mo filming of said drop. 

Which I did, and which you must watch. I’m serious: you must.

Later, Kenny would watch this video with astonishment. He had no recollection of having unclipped during takeoff or flight; he had been wondering what had been the problem.

As for me, I’m just grateful that I actually pressed the record button before this all happened. My success rate is about 50% on things like this.

Don’t Tell Me

This ride was recon. Nothing more. Nothing at stake. And so this next part of the story shouldn’t bum me out.

But this part of the story so bums me out.

I wasn’t climbing well. I wasn’t descending well. I was falling behind. I was hurting.

At one point, I said to The Hammer, just before a big climb, “I am not sure I’m going to make it today.” Which was essentially a plea for some moral support, maybe some sympathy. 

“Oh, that’s too bad,” The Hammer replied, and then rode away from me. 

A few minutes later, The Swimmer said, “Are you OK? You’re riding really badly today.”

I’m still trying to work out which of the two were the bigger blow to my morale.

Enough

I knew it long before I said anything: I wasn’t going to finish the ride. I was sore. Tired. Not having fun. Coming down Bear Claw-Poppy, my wrists hurt so badly I had a difficult time using the brakes.

I was done.

So at the point where I could either turn right and join the group for the second half of the ride, or turn left and ride a few miles back to Kenny and Heather’s house, I said, “Guys, that’s it for me; I’m going home.”

A number of people said, “Really, are you sure?” 

Yeah, I was sure. Completely sure. 

The Garmin of Justice

I turned left and began riding back, feeling great about my decision. 

That great feeling lasted for approximately one minute and nineteen seconds.

And then the shame began.

“Seriously, you just bailed out of this ride?” I asked myself. Yes, yes I had. 

I got back to Kenny and Heather’s house and plugged in my new Garmin Edge 520 (an early birthday present from The Hammer), so I could upload the ride — as much of it as I had done — to Strava.

It would not upload. In fact, the Garmin froze entirely, and would not even reset. I vented my frustration on Twitter. DC RainMaker replied, saying there’s the basic reset (which I had done) and then multiple levels of nuclear resetitude.

And in short, I got my Garmin to work again…but I completely lost my GPS data.

Which is probably for the best.

Afterward

So now it’s the day after the day after the day of the pre-ride. And I find myself wondering: how much of my discombobulation was because of sickness? How much of it was because of wrist pain? How much of it was because I’m just a baby?

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

But I do know that this particular pre-rde — while a huge failure for me in one way — was also a massive success in another. Because now there’s no way I’m going to be taking this course, or equipment, or my fitness for granted on race day.

Redemption. Will. Be. Mine.

Unless I’m not feeling so good, in which case I’ll probably bail out or whatever. 

 

Not Dead

02.10.2016 | 12:18 pm

Hi, I’m sick but not dead. I’ll post again when I feel better. I hope that will be soon.

Asking for a Little Help

01.28.2016 | 11:41 am

I’ve talked a little about my son Brice before. Though not much, because he’s not that keen on me putting him up on a stage. Imagine that.

I could list the number of things that have been stacked against him, but I’d rather just say how incredibly proud I am of him for overcoming so many of these things (and how grateful I am for Lisa, who has been instrumental in helping him find a path).

He’s worked full-time for more than a year. He’s used his own money to go back to school, where he’s working toward being a pharmacy technician. He has aced nearly every assignment.

And he does all this without me hassling, prodding, or otherwise nagging him. In other words, he’s fully self-motivated.

He’s doing amazing. And now I’d like to ask a very particular subset of my readers to help him get started on the next part of his progress. 

Basically, if you have connections (or know someone who has connections) to a pharmacy in Utah County (from Provo to Alpine) or the South part of Salt Lake County (Draper, Sandy, etc.), I’d love it if you’d help Brice with get an inside track on a pharm tech externship, hopefully with a path toward a part- or full-time pharm tech position afterward.

Just email me (fatty@fatcyclist.com) with the subject line “pharm tech” and I’ll get you a copy of his resume, pronto. 

And if you include your name, address, and t-shirt size in the email, I’ll also send you a signed copy of both my books, as well as a Fat Cyclist t-shirt (assuming it’s a legitimate lead, not just a way to grab a couple books and a t-shirt). Regardless of whether it works out or not. 

Things are going great. Thanks much for helping them go even greater.

PS: I’m going to be out of town for a few days working on a very cool, very big, Secret Project, so will not be posting again ’til Tuesday. 

 

 

 

 

I Don’t Want to Brag, But…

01.27.2016 | 12:05 pm

I don’t want to brag, but my weight loss is going great this winter. In fact, I’ve already lost nine pounds. Which I suppose also means that I’ve gained way more than nine pounds. And also that nine pounds is pretty much the same three pounds I lose every week, then regain over the weekend. For the past three weeks in a row.

I don’t want to brag, but once I just totally walked by a bowl of M&Ms without taking a single one.

I don’t want to brag, but even at age 49.6, I can still fit into the same clothes I wore at age eighteen. Or I assume I could, if I had kept any of the clothes I wore when I was eighteen. Which I didn’t, so there’s no way you could prove this statement wrong.

I don’t want to brag, but it’s been at least ninety minutes since I’ve had a big spoonful of peanut butter.

I don’t want to brag, but even during this exceptionally cold and snowy Utah winter, I’m getting on my bike and riding every single day. OK, I’m not actually going outside to ride. I’m going into my basement and doing TrainerRoad while watching Netflix. But like I said, I’m not bragging.

I don’t want to brag, but about fifteen years ago, a bunch of my friends and I were riding our bikes around in a parking lot after a ride. There was a little curb divider in the lot, and on the other side of the curb, the lot was about eighteen inches lower. Or maybe twelve inches, it’s not important. What is important is that while my friends were watching, I rode up, jumped the curb, and landed it without even falling or squealing in terror. And you can never take that away from me.

I don’t want to brag, but I can look at a person and state, with startling accuracy, what air pressure they should be using in their tubeless mountain bike tires.

I don’t want to brag, but once not so long ago, I accidentally wrote a pun, then wrote “(no pun intended),” and then just went and took out the pun and the quasi-apology. Because puns should be eliminated whenever they’re identified, whether intentional or not.

I don’t want to brag, but I can shave my legs in under four minutes, and it’s been years since I’ve had a razor cut. In fact, I can now shave my legs faster than I can shave my head. To be fair, a big chunk of my head-shaving time is trying to figure out whether I have missed any spots on the back of my head.

I don’t want to brag, but last night I made chilli using turkey burger instead of regular hamburger, and it tasted nearly 40% as good. In fact, some members of my family said it tasted “not completely gross if you smother it with cheese and sour cream.”

And in short, my humility is breathtaking.

The Natural, Part 2: Ten Packs of Cigarettes

01.20.2016 | 11:43 am

A Note From Fatty: If you haven’t read part 1 of this story, you probably should read it before reading this second part. Click here.

The first ten miles of the Interlaken 100 had taken us less than half an hour (25 minutes, in fact) to complete. The second ten miles of the Interlaken had taken us almost exactly half an hour to complete.

The third ten miles…well, that took us about fifty minutes to complete.

That’s what happens when things turn uphill. 

We didn’t mind, though. We had studied the elevation profile of the Interlaken 100

Screenshot 2016 01 14 06 44 03

We knew that once we got to mile 37, we’d have miles (and miles and miles) of downhill and flat ahead of us. Just get to the top of this one big climb, and the rest of this ride would be fast and easy.

We were so naïve.

Smokin’

While our understanding of what we were in for for the rest of the Interlaken was sadly lacking (feel free to guess what we didn’t account for and I’ll bet you get it in one try), there was one obstacle we absolutely positively had no trouble identifying as we climbed:

Smoke. 

Pretty much the entirety of California was on fire, and the smoke had paid a visit to Utah, big time. To the extent that we could not see further than the next bend. Which is a huge shame, because — from what we could see of it — the mountain we were climbing must have had some extraordinary views.

There was so much smoke that we could smell it, and taste it, with every breath. So much so, that The Hammer gave her ride this name on Strava:

Screenshot 2016 01 14 06 40 23 

(There’s a little bit of a spoiler there, but you had guessed it anyway, right?)

Meet Your Neighbors 

By the time we got to the top of the big climb, we had started to catch a few of the people who had started in the earlier wave.

This, as it turned out, would be one of The Hammer’s and my favorite things about the Interlaken. Throughout the day, we’d have new “carrots” ahead of us, and would then have new people to give encouragement to, and get encouragement from.

It made for a really great, friendly vibe for the entirety of the race. Plus, as we’d find out soon enough, it would offer both the early and late starters some very welcome opportunities

New Leaders…

Just before we got to the beginning of the big descent, The Hammer and I saw an easy-up tent in a pullout on the side of the road: an aid station. 

“Do you need to refill your bottles?” I asked.

“Nope, still good,” she replied. “No reason to stop.”

Then, as we went by, we saw: the group of three riders ahead of us had stopped, and were refilling.

The Hammer and I had taken the overall lead.

…But Not for Long

Since I mentioned how long it took to do each of the first few ten-mile sections of this ride, it might be worth noting that mile 40 – 50 and 50 – 60 each took about fifteen minutes. 

Twenty miles in half an hour. That’s what a twenty-mile descent (dropping 2500 feet in that distance) will do for you.

But at least for the first ten miles, The Hammer and I were not riding together. Our road riding arrangement — evolved over six years of training together — means that we generally climb together, and then descend separately, with me out in front.

So while I could generally see The Hammer when I looked back, we weren’t focused on flying at maximum speed. 

But the group of three was.

Around mile fifty, they suddenly (meaning I hadn’t ever noticed them behind me whenever I looked back to see if The Hammer was close) rocketed by me, the three of them in a tight formation, taking turns pulling.

Within half a minute, they were fifty feet ahead of me.

Realizing that our best opportunity to get on board with a fast-moving express train to the finish line was quickly disappearing in the distance, I sat up and braked so The Hammer could get to me as quickly as possible. I then yelled, “We’ve got to try to catch those guys!”

And we commenced to turn ourselves inside out, figuring that if we could grab on to these guys now, we’d be in great shape for the twenty-mile section of flat road we’d be hitting momentarily.

But I just couldn’t do it.

We rode as hard as we could, but two fast people just aren’t as fast as three fast people. The group of three continued to put distance on us ’til we could no longer see them at all.

Once again, it was just The Hammer and me.

Wall of Wind

Right around mile sixty, the giant descent ended, coming to a T and a stop sign in the road. We turned left…

…and into a wall of wind. Specifically, a 3/4 crosswind wall, coming at us from our ten-o-clock.

Where before I would have liked to be with the group of three, now I was kicking myself. Why didn’t we join that group when we had the chance? (Answer: because I am a lousy strategist.)

So The Hammer and I rode into this ten-mile smokey hairdryer section together, taking half-mile pulls and looking forward to the seventy-mile aid station in the Randolph city park, where we could take a break, refill our bottles, and maybe get something to eat. 

From time to time, we’d catch a rider from the early wave of racers. Always one single rider. Ugh, I thought. Brutal. We’d wave them onto our little train, giving them a chance to recover, hoping they’d be able to just hang on, stay with us ’til we got to the park.

Unfortunately, none of them could. They’d drop off after a minute or so — our pace just was not their pace.

Respite

Finally, we made it to the park. Seventy miles into the Interlaken 100, and I was so grateful to just have a break from the roar of wind. 

IMG 5305
Our bikes were grateful for the rest, too. Photo courtesy of the Interlaken 100.

And then I saw the spread laid out for us at the park, and I was even more grateful. Subway sandwiches galore, nuts, licorice, cookies, and so much more. If I weren’t so manly, tears of joy might have sprung to my eyes. 

I grabbed handfuls of food, stuffed them into my mouth.

And then, I saw something even better: the group of three. They were still here. If we hurried here, we could ride with them and spend so much less time in the wind.

But first, I needed to go to the bathroom.

Of course, you know what that means: by the time I got out, they had left. 

It was just The Hammer, me, and the wind again. And we still had thirty miles to go.

Which seems like a good place to pick up in the next installment of this story.

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